Ngaphakathi ezinzulwini zengqondo zethu zigubungele iingcinga neemvakalelo ezininzi esingathanda ukuzikhanyela ukuba sibe nazo.
Le minqweno kunye neempembelelo ziyacaphukisa kwinxalenye yengqondo kangangokuba iqala ngokwasemphefumlweni iindlela zokhuselo ukuzigcina ngaphandle.
Enye indlela yokwenza oku kukuqikelela ezi mvakalelo kwabanye abantu (ubukhulu becala, kodwa nakwiminyhadala nakwizinto) ukuzama ukukhuphela ingxaki ngaphandle.
Ithetha ntoni le nto? Ewe, masiqale ngenkcazo elula:
Ukuqikelelwa kwengqondo yindlela yokhuselo eyenzeka xa kuvela ungquzulwano phakathi kweyakho iimvakalelo ezingekho zingqondweni kunye neenkolelo zakho. Ukuze woyise le mpixano, ubeka le mvakalelo komnye umntu okanye kwenye into.
Ngamanye amagama, ugqithisela ubunini bezi mvakalelo ziphazamisayo komnye umthombo wangaphandle.
Uziqhatha ngokukholelwa ekubeni ezi mpawu zingathandekiyo zezokwenye indawo - naphi na kodwa njengenxalenye yakho.
Le ndlela, i-Freud ithiyori, yindlela yeengqondo zethu yokujongana nemiba yesimilo sethu esicinga ukuba sinesiphene.
Endaweni yokuvuma isiphoso, sifumana indlela yokujongana nayo kwimeko apho simahla kwiintsingiselo zobuqu.
Ngokwenza ezi ziphene, singakuphepha ukuba sazi zichonge bona, thatha ubunini kubo, kwaye dibana ne kubo.
Ukuqhubela phambili iimvakalelo kwabanye yinto esiyenzayo sonke kwinqanaba elithile, kwaye inexabiso elithile leengqondo, kodwa njengoko siza kuxoxa kamva, ikwanazo neengxaki zayo.
Akukho siphelo kwiindidi zeemvakalelo esinokuthi sizibonakalise kwabanye. Nanini na xa kuvela ukungavisisani ngaphakathi, kuhlala kukho isilingo (nangona sikho zingqondo) sokutshintsha imvakalelo ephazamisayo kwenye indawo.
indlela yokukhetha umntu olungileyo phakathi kwababini
Okukhona sicaphuka ngakumbi xa sifumana iimvakalelo, kokukhona inkuthazo yokuyiqikelela komnye umntu.
Kodwa makhe sijonge eminye imizekelo ecacileyo yokunceda ukucacisa umbono. Nayi i-8 yemizekelo eqhelekileyo yokuqikelela:
1. Umtsalane kunye nokuVusa ngomnye umntu ongekho kwiQabane lakho
Umzekelo weklasikhi odla ngokusetyenziselwa ukucacisa ingqikelelo yengqondo yeyendoda okanye yomfazi oziva enomtsalane kumntu wesithathu.
Ixabiso labo langaphakathi liyabaxelela ukuba oku akwamkelekanga, ke ngoko bafaka ezi mvakalelo kumaqabane abo kwaye babatyhole ngokungathembeki.
Eli tyala ngokwenyani liyindlela yokwala ukuze kungafuneki bajongane, okanye bazive benetyala malunga neminqweno yabo ebhadulayo.
Olu hlobo lokuqikelela kubudlelwane lunokubeka uxinzelelo olukhulu kunye noxinzelelo kwizinto.
Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, iqela elingenatyala lityholwa ngento abangayenzanga. Baza kuzikhusela ngokufanelekileyo, ngokufuthi ngokungathandabuzekiyo.
Kungekudala, unendawo yokuzala yokungathembani, unxibelelwano olubi, kunye nentandabuzo.
2. Imiba yomfanekiso womzimba
Xa ujonga esipilini kwaye ujonge ukubonakaliswa kwakho njengakwindlela ethile engafezekanga, unokukhetha ukungazihoyi ezi zinto kuthiwa ziziphene ngokuthatha lonke ithuba lokuzibona kwabanye.
Ukubhengeza omnye umntu ukuba atyebile, amabi, okanye abe nolunye uphawu lomzimba olungathandekiyo kunokwenzeka ukuba kwenzeke xa unemiba yemifanekiso ehleli nzulu ngokwakho.
Ukuqikelela kukuvumela ukuba uthathe uzothe onokuba unabo ngenkangeleko yakho kwaye uzikhwebule kuyo ngokujolisa kwabanye abantu.
Unokuphinda ube neprojekthi yokuziphatha ongonwabanga ngayo kwabanye.
Umzekelo, ungamgxeka umntu ngokubawa etafileni, okanye ngokunxiba iimpahla ezingaginyisi mathe ukuze ufihle ukungazithembi kwakho malunga nezi zinto.
3. Ukungamthandi umntu
Xa sibancinci, sihlala sivana nabantu bonke, kwaye lo mnqweno uhlala uyinxalenye yethu njengoko sikhula.
Ngale nto engqondweni, ayimangalisi into yokuba xa sizifumana singamthandi umntu othile, sifuna ukuyivelisa le mvakalelo kubo ukuze sizithethelele ngokungaphantsi kobuhlobo bethu.
Ukuyibeka ngenye indlela, ukuba awumthandi uJoe, kodwa awuzimisele ukuyamkela le nto, unokuziqinisekisa ukuba nguJoe akakuthandi .
Oku kuyakukhusela ekuziva ungathandeki komnye umntu, nokuba zithini izizathu zakho.
Kuba masijongane nayo, ukuba ubunyanzelekile ukuba utsho ukuba kutheni ungamthandi uJoe (mhlawumbi uyathandeka kwaye awunjalo, okanye mhlawumbi unempumelelo kwikhondo lomsebenzi kwaye awuzalisekanga kokwakho) awufuni kuvuma ukuba ikho kuwe.
4. Ukungazithembi kunye nokuba sesichengeni
Xa siziva singakhuselekanga malunga nenxalenye ethile yesiqu sethu (njengomfanekiso womzimba ekuxoxwe ngawo ngasentla), sifuna iindlela zokuchonga ukungazithembi kwabanye abantu.
Oku kuhlala kunjalo kwimeko yokuziphatha kwabangcungcuthekisi apho umntu oxhaphaza ejolise ekungakhuselekini kwabanye ukuze athintele ukujongana nezakhe iingxaki.
Kungenxa yoko le nto beya kujonga abona bantu bahlelelekileyo abanokuthi bahlaselwe ngokulula ngaphandle komngcipheko buhlungu ngokwasemphefumlweni impindezelo.
Akunyanzelekanga ukuba ibe kukungazithembi ngokuchanekileyo ekujolise kuko rhoqo okuya kwenziwa.
Ke umntu oxhalabileyo ukuba abanabulumko ngokwaneleyo uyakukhetha ukungazithembi kwezothando komnye umntu onokujolisa kumaxhala emali omntu wesithathu.
5. Umsindo
Ngelokuzama ukuwufihla umsindo onokuba ungaphakathi ngaphakathi, abanye abantu bawukhuphela kwabo babanomsindo.
Ngexesha lengxabano, umzekelo, unokuzama ukugcina umphandle kunye nomlinganiso wangaphandle kwaye uxelele omnye umntu ukuba 'athobe umoya' ukuze awukhanyele umsindo onawo.
Okanye ungasebenzisa isenzo sabanye ukuthethelela umsindo wakho kubo, nokuba kungenziwa enye indlela.
Ukuqikelela umsindo komnye umntu Utshintsha ityala engqondweni yakho . Awusenguye unobangela wengxabano ozibona ngathi uhlaselwe, hayi umhlaseli.
Unokuthanda (inqaku liyaqhubeka ngezantsi):
- Ungayibeka njani indawo xa usiya kwabanye
- Ungayiyeka Njani Intukuthelo: Amanqanaba asixhenxe ukusuka kwiRage ukuya kuKhululwa
- Ukutyhila iinyani zeSayikholojisti Wonke umntu kufuneka azi
- Iingcinga ezingena ngaphakathi-Ziyintoni na kwaye kutheni ziQhelekile ngokugqibeleleyo
- I-Psychology yokufuduswa kunye ne-7 yokwenyani-yeHlabathi yeMizekelo yokuSebenza
- I-Psychology ye-Sublimation kunye nendlela enokubuphucula ngayo ubomi bakho
6. Ukuziphatha ngokungakhathali
Sisenokungakuthandi ukuyivuma, kodwa sonke siyaziphatha ngendlela enokuthi ithathelwe ingqalelo njengongenankathalo.
Nokuba kukusela iziselo ezimbalwa, ukuthatha umngcipheko ngokungeyomfuneko ngokhuseleko lwethu, okanye nokuba kukungakhathali ngemali yethu, sonke sinetyala lokwenza izinto ekusenokwenzeka ukuba asifanele.
Ukuthintela iimvakalelo zokuzisola, sibonisa ukungakhathali kwethu kwabanye kwaye sibagxeke ngezenzo zabo.
Ngamanye amaxesha siye singene kwizinto ezingahambelaniyo neempazamo zethu, kodwa ngamanye amaxesha sibangxolisa abantu ngokwenza ngokuchanekileyo izinto esizenzileyo, thina ngokwethu (abahanahanisi).
7. Ukungaphumeleli
Xa sizibona sisilele kwinto ethile, kuqhelekile ngathi ukuba sityhalele abanye ukuba baphumelele kwilinge lokukhanyela eyethu ukusilela .
Oku kungqinwa ngabazali abathi ngenzondelelo- ngamanye amaxesha ngokugqithiseleyo -Khuthaza abantwana babo ukuba bazame ngamandla kwinto abathi bona, ezingqondweni zabo, basilela kuyo.
Thatha iimbaleki ezingaphumeleliyo ezinyanzela umntwana wazo ezantsi kwindlela yezemidlalo, okanye imvumi engazange iyenze inyanzelise umntwana wayo ukuba afunde isixhobo somculo.
Ndithetha nomnxibelelanisi izixhobo zolwimi
Akuwenzi mahluko kumzali ukuba ngaba umntwana uyafuna na ukulandela le misebenzi, kuba, kubo, lithuba lokulungisa iziphoso zabo.
8. Impumelelo
Le yenye yeemeko ezinqabileyo apho ngenene siqikelela izinto ezintle kubuntu bethu kwabanye, nangona oko kungasoloko kuvela njalo.
Thatha umlweli wentlalontle yezilwanyana oveza ukungathandi kwakhe iindlela zokukhohlakala zokufama kuye wonke umntu, kuphela ukuba wothuke xa kubonakala ngathi ababelani ngezinto ezimkhathazayo.
Okanye cinga ngomnini weshishini osokolayo ukuqonda ukuba kutheni abasebenzi bakhe bengaqhutywa njengoko esenza ukuba ishishini libe yimpumelelo.
Ingxaki ngokuqikelela
Eli nqaku lesayikholoji linokubonakala ngathi liyasebenza ekukhuseleni iingqondo zethu kwintlungu, kodwa zimbini iingxaki ezisisiseko ezichasene nale mpikiswano.
Eyokuqala yile Ukuqikelela kusenza sizive siphakamile kuye wonke umntu kuba iyasivumela ukuba sizibethe ngoyaba iimpazamo kunye nokusilela kwethu ngaxeshanye sizame kwizinto esizibona zingafezekanga kwabanye.
Oku akunakuba sisiseko sempixano kuphela, kodwa kusinika umbono ongeyonyani kunye nolindelo olungeyonyani lwabanye abantu. Siyasilela ukubona konke okuhle ebantwini, kuba sixakeke kakhulu kukuvavanya iimpazamo zabo.
Umcimbi wesibini wokuqikelela njengesixhobo sokhuseleko kukuba iyasilela ukulungisa iimvakalelo ngokwazo . Logama nje siqhubeka ukubukhanyela ubukho bezi mvakalelo, akukho ndlela inokusinceda ukuba sijongane nazo kwaye sizoyise.
Kuphela kuxa samkela ukuba bayinxalenye yethu apho sinokuthi siqale ukusebenza ngabo kwaye ekugqibeleni sizilahle ngokupheleleyo.
Inyathelo lokuqala kukuba, njengoko ubuya kulindela, elona linzima ukuthatha kuba limema ngempumelelo intlungu kuwe.
Okwangoku, de kube kujongwana nayo, le ntlungu ihlala ikhona, kwaye ngelixa ungaziva ngokupheleleyo xa icinezelwa, inegalelo ekungathandekiyo okungaze kukushiye.
Ukusuka kude noQikelelo
Ukuqikelela kunokuba yinto eyaziwayo, kodwa ixesha elininzi, lenzeka ngaphantsi komphezulu njengomsebenzi wokungazi.
Phambi kokuba uqalise ukujongana nemicimbi esisiseko, kufuneka uqale uqonde ukuba ungaqala nini kwaye njani kwabanye.
Ngelixa ukuzisa ulwazi lwakho kule meko kunokunceda ukufumanisa iimeko ezithile, akusoloko kulula ukubona ezo mvakalelo uzingcwabe nzulu.
Unokufumana ixabiso elikhulu xa uthetha nengcali yengqondo eqeqeshelwe ukubona kwaye ngobunono ukukhupha izinto esinokuthi singazazi kwangoko.
Banokunceda ukuzisa le micimbi kwindawo apho banokuvavanywa khona, kwaye ekugqibeleni, bajongane nayo.
Ukuba uziva unokuzuza ngokuthetha nonyango, cofa apha ukuze ufumane enye.
Ukuqikelela kuhlala kuyonakalisa ubudlelwane bethu nabanye, ke nayiphi na inzame yokuyiphelisa njengesiqhelo-nokuba nguwe okanye ngoncedo lobuchwephesha-kufanelekile.
Xa ukwazi ukujongana neemvakalelo ezingamkelekanga entloko, uyakufumanisa ukuba zinokutsala kancinci okanye zonakalise ixesha elide.
