Ukuba awunamntu ungatsalela umhlobo wokwenene, indlela ubulolo kunokuba nzima ukuthwala, kodwa zikhona izinto onokuzenza ukulungisa le meko.
Nokuba uziva ngathi awunabahlobo konke konke, okanye awunabahlobo esikolweni, kwikholeji, okanye emsebenzini, Akufanele uzivumele ukholelwe ukuba awunakwenzeka.
Kuya kufuneka uhlolisise izizathu ezinokubangela ukuba ungabi nobuhlobo nabani na, kwaye uzame ukuzidibanisa.
Nazi iingcebiso ezili-10 ezifanelekileyo zokufumana abahlobo abaninzi ebomini bakho.
Qaphela: ukuba ungumntu ophumayo nonentlalontle, kodwa imeko yakho itshintshile kwaye uyaphoswa kukuba nabahlobo abakungqongileyo- mhlawumbi ufudukile, ushiye umsebenzi ukuze ube nosana, usandula ukuthatha umhlala-phantsi, okanye enye into-ingcebiso eli nqaku lisasebenza kuwe kwaye kufanelekile ukuba ungene kulo.
1. Jonga ukuba awuthinteli ubuhlobo obutsha.
Ukuba ufunda eli nqaku, kunokwenzeka ukuba uyasilela kubahlobo kwaye uhlala uziva ulilolo. Ke kunokubonakala kungaqhelekanga ukubuza ukuba ngaba uthintela ubuhlobo obutsha ukuba bakheke.
Unokuzibuza ngokufanelekileyo: 'Andinabahlobo, ke kutheni ukuba isihogo ndingazifumana ngendlela yam?'
Ewe, impendulo kukuba usenokungazi nokuba uyayenza.
Ingqondo sisilo esintsonkothileyo kwaye uninzi lwezinto esizenzayo zivela kwindawo engaphantsi kakhulu kokwazi. Senza ngokuzenzekelayo, ngaphandle kokucinga, kwaye ngaphandle kokujonga ukuba zinokubuchaphazela njani ubomi bethu.
Ezi ndlela zokuziphatha, ezifihliweyo kuwe, zihlala zenzeka ngenxa yemicimbi yobuqu engasonjululwanga.
Awudingi ukuba ube namava oxinzelelo lweemvakalelo okanye lomzimba okanye ukuxhatshazwa ukuze ubambe inzondo enzulu ngaphakathi kwengqondo yakho engekho zingqondweni.
Iziganeko ezibonakala ngathi azibalulekanga ezivela kwixesha elidlulileyo zinokuchaphazela indlela ocinga ngayo ngoku kwaye zikwenze ubeke imiqobo kubuhlobo.
Mhlawumbi ukhuliswe kwindawo ekhuthaza ukuzimela kunye nokuzikhusela oku kuthetha ukuba awuziva ukwazi ukuxhomekeka kwabanye abantu ngayo nantoni na - kubandakanya ubuhlobo okanye ulonwabo.
Mhlawumbi ukhe waphoxwa ngabantu kwixa elidlulileyo kwaye uzama ngamandla ukuthintela laa mvakalelo inye yenzekayo ukuba ingenzeki kwakhona. Usoyika ukungcatshwa kunye nokuphoxeka, ke ugcina abantu kubude bengalo ukuze uphephe umngcipheko wokwenene.
Ngaba uziva ungafanelekanga ukuba ngumhlobo wabanye ngenxa yokuba wawukhathazwa kukuhlukunyezwa kunye nokuphathwa gadalala kwiminyaka yakho yokuqala?
Le yimizekelo nje emithathu yendlela onokuba ubeka ngayo imiqobo yengqondo ekwakheni ubuhlobo obunentsingiselo kwaye kutheni ungasenabo abahlobo kwakhona.
Iinkolelo ozibambayo kunye neengcinga abazivelisayo zinokwenza ukuba kube nzima kwabanye abantu ukwenza ubuhlobo kunye nawe. Zibuze ukuba ingaba kunjalo ebomini bakho.
2. Musa ukunika abantu umyalezo ongalunganga.
Abantu bahlala bekhululekile ekwenzeni abahlobo abatsha, kodwa kufuneka baziva ukuba omnye umntu ufuna ukuba njalo yabo umhlobo naye.
Bavavanya imeko ngokufunda imiqondiso ngaphambi kokukhetha ukuba bangazama okanye bangazami ukwenza unxibelelwano naloo mntu.
Ke, kuya kufuneka uzibuze ukuba unika imiqondiso engeyiyo kwabo bakungqongileyo abanokuba ngabahlobo.
Usenokuthi 'andinabahlobo,' kodwa ngaba uyalahla ukumenyelwa kwitheko zolonwabo? Ngaba wakha wakwenza oko kwixa elidluleyo? Ukuba kunjalo, kuya kufuneka uqaphele ukuba kungekudala abantu bazakuyeka ukubuza ukuba uyaqhubeka na ukubala.
Baya kuthatha nje ukuba awunomdla okanye ukuba unezinto ezingcono zokwenza.
Emva koko kukho ulwimi lomzimba wakho kunye nefuthe elinokuba nalo kwabanye abantu.
Ukuba ubonakala uvaliwe iingalo ziwelekile kwaye intloko isezantsi, ayizalisi abantu ngokuzithemba ngokuza bathethe nawe.
Ukuba ujongeka ngathi awufuni kubandakanyeka, baya kuhlala ngokucacileyo ukuphepha ukuhlangana okungathandekiyo ekuhlaleni okanye ukwala okunokubakho emva kwayo yonke loo nto, bangabantu nabo.
Xa umntu ethetha nawe, uphendula uthini? Abantu bathanda iincoko ezihamba ngokwendalo kwaye abaziva benyanzelekile.
Ukuba unika iimpendulo ezingacacanga kwaye ungakukhathalelanga ukwenza naliphi na iinzame zokuyandisa ingxoxo, kungekudala abo bantu baya kuthi cwaka kubo.
3. Funda izakhono zentlalo kwaye uziqhelise rhoqo.
Nje ukuba uqikelele ukuba ungama kanjani kubuhlobo obutsha, kuya kufuneka ujongane nemiba oyityhilileyo.
Njengaso nasiphi na isakhono, kuya kufuneka uthathe amanyathelo okufunda iziseko zonxibelelwano kwaye uziqhelanise nayo yonke imihla ukuze ube ngcono kuyo.
Ungaqala umncinci ngendlela othanda ngayo, nokuba incinci njengokubulisa kubuso obuqhelekileyo kanye ngemini, kodwa okukhona uzama rhoqo, ngokukhawuleza uza kubona iziphumo.
Kuya kufuneka ukhethe imisebenzi ejongene nemimandla ethile oyibonisileyo kwinyathelo lokuqala.
Ke ukuba inkululeko yakho sisizathu sokuba ungenabahlobo, kuya kufuneka uzame ukucela uncedo rhoqo kangangoko kunokwenzeka ukuqala ngezinto ezincinci kwaye wakhe ukusuka apho.
Ukuba ngokwesiqhelo uyala ukunikezelwa kwesiselo esikhawulezileyo sasemva komsebenzi, kutheni ungabuzi ukuba ungamaka na kwixesha elizayo xa oogxa bakho besiya ebar.
Kuya kufuneka uhlale isiselo esinye kuphela ngaphambi kokuba uhambe, kodwa uya kubazi ngcono kakhulu kwimeko yezentlalo oya kuze uyenze kwimeko yomsebenzi.
Ukuba iincoko azizi lula kuwe, mhlawumbi ngentloko uluhlu olufutshane lweziqulatho onokuzisebenzisa ukuba incoko iyoma.
Benze izihloko eziqhelekileyo ezifana nento eyenziwe ngumntu ngeempelaveki okanye zeziphi izicwangciso zabo zeholide elandelayo kwikhalenda.
Izinto ezilula ezinje ngoku zinokuyandisa incoko kwaye zakhe imisonto yokuqala yeqhina phakathi kwakho nomnye.
4. Amanani awabalulekanga.
Xa ungenabo abahlobo ngokoqobo, inani onokulenza alibalulekanga.Umhlobo ongatshatanga ungcono kunokuba engekho.
Ke sukukhathazeka malunga nokuzama ukwenza unxibelelwano nabantu abaninzi abahlukeneyo ngaxeshanye ujolise kwimizamo yakho kwinani elincinci- mhlawumbi enye okanye ezimbini- kwaye emva koko ucofe indlela yakho usenyuka apho.
Ukuba ufumanisa ukuba awukwazi ukugcina abahlobo emva kokubenza, buza ukuba uyazisasaza kakhulu ngokwexesha kunye nengqwalaselo oyinika abantu.
Oku kubaluleke ngakumbi xa uqala ukwenza ubuhlobo nomntu. Ukuqhagamshelana rhoqo kunye nokunxibelelana yinto eyenza iibhondi ezinamandla.
5. Jonga ngaphaya kwezithintelo zobudala, ubuhlanga, udidi, kunye nesini.
Njengomntu omkhulu ongenabahlobo, kunokuba lula ukucinga ukuba kunokwenzeka ukuba ube ngumhlobo nabantu abalinganayo ngeminyaka, imvelaphi ngokwentlalo, okanye isini, kodwa inyani kukuba ezi zinto azibalulekanga kunokuba ucinga.
uyithatha kanjani usuku olunye ngexesha
Izinto ezibalulekileyo zizinto ekwabelwana ngazo, amaxabiso ekwabelwana ngawo, kunye nabantu abafanelekileyo.
Ke musa ukuzikhawulela xa ufuna abahlobo abatsha badlula ngaphaya kwemiqobo egcina abantu behlukene kwaye bafumane ilizwe liphela elinokuba ngamaqabane.
6. Yenza abahlobo kwi-intanethi, kodwa ungabavumeli babe ngabahlobo bakho kuphela.
Ingcinga ethi 'andinabahlobo' ihlala ihamba nenye ingcinga 'kwaye andazi ukuba ndingabafumana phi.'
Kodwa maninzi amathuba phaya. La manqaku mathathu alandelayo aya kukunika ezona ndlela zixhaphakileyo abantu abadibana ngazo kunye nabahlobo abatsha.
Ngezigidi zeeforamu ezahlukeneyo, amaqela e-Facebook, amagumbi okuxoxa, iiwebhusayithi, kunye nezinye iindawo zokuzibandakanya kwi-Intanethi, kuhlala kulula ukufumana abantu abacinga ngokufana nale ndlela yedijithali.
Le ayisiyonto imbi nangayiphi na indlela, kwaye inokukunceda ukuba uqhelise izakhono zakho zentlalo kwindawo ekhuselekileyo, kodwa ungaxhomekeki kakhulu kubuhlobo bolu hlobo.
7. Guqula inkanuko yakho ibe yimithombo yabahlobo abatsha.
Ukwabelana ngezinto zihlala zihlala ziyinto elungileyo yokwakha ubudlelwane obuhlumayo, kutheni ungathathi imisebenzi oyithandayo uyenze ibe yindlela yokwenza abahlobo abatsha?
Sebenzisa iinkonzo ezinjenge meetup.com ukufumana abantu abathanda izinto / amaqela kwindawo yakho emva koko uzijoyine ukuze uzonwabise kwizinto enizonwabisayo nonke.
Le ngcebiso ilula kangangokuba nokuba awunabahlobo namhlanje, uya kuba nobomi ekuhlaleni ngephanyazo.
8. Yakha isangqa sentlalontle ngokuzisa abahlobo.
Nje ukuba wenze isihlobo esinye okanye ezibini, unokunceda ukomeleza amaqhina onawo ngokubazisa.
Ukuba bayayonwabela inkampani yakho, kukho ithuba elifanelekileyo lokuba baya konwaba nabo. Oku kuyinyani ngakumbi xa nisabelana ngezinto eninomdla kuzo okanye ninesimo esifanayo.
Yenza oku ngempumelelo kwaye uyakube usenzile isangqa sabahlobo esomelele ngakumbi kwaye esinokuhlala.
9. Cwangcisa ubuhlobo obunonxibelelwano olunzulu.
Kukho iintlobo ezahlukeneyo zobuhlobo kunye nendlela enye engundoqo eyahluka ngayo kwinqanaba lolwalamano olusenyongweni.
Abahlobo abaphezulu kulula kakhulu ukuza ngabo kunabo uziva ukhululekile ukuvula kwaye babelane ngeengcinga zakho ezimnyama.
Ukuba okwangoku awunabahlobo, kunokuba sisilingo ukukhetha unxibelelwano olukumgangatho ongaphezulu, oluthwala umngcipheko omncinci kwaye olula / olukhawulezayo ukwenza.
Ubuhlobo obubaluleke kakhulu, nangona kunjalo, bobo bambalwa abemi kuvavanyo lwexesha kwaye baphucula ubomi bakho ngendlela ephambili.
Zama ukujika omnye okanye ababini kubahlobo bakho ukuba babe ngabahlobo abasenyongweni.
10. Musa ukuhamba uleqa izihlobo.
Nangona ungenabahlobo kwaye ungaziva ulilolo, kubalulekile ukuba ungazami nzima ukwenza umntu abe ngumhlobo wakho ukuba akukho nxibelelwano lokwenyani apho.
Ukuleqa abantu kunye nokuzama ukunyanzela ubuhlobo kubo ngekhe kusebenze.
Ke ngelixa uhlala unika abantu isixa esifanelekileyo sexesha ukuze babone ukuba kukho isakhono sonxibelelwano olunzulu esisandula ukuthetha ngalo, yazi ukuba uza kulubiza nini.
Kufana nokuthandana ukuba kungaziva ngathi ubudlelwane obuluqilima (kule meko ubuhlobo) busemakhadini emva kwexesha elifutshane, akufuneki uzive unetyala xa ushiya iindlela.
Okwangoku, njengoko ufunda oku, kunokubonakala kuwe ngokungathi awunabahlobo bokwenyani kwaye akukho namnye okuthandayo. Khumbula nje ukuba akunyanzelekanga ukuba kubenje.
Unamandla ngaphakathi kwakho okwenza ubuhlobo obutsha kunye nokudala inethwekhi yentlalo yabantu obathandayo.
Kuthatha ixesha kunye nokuzimisela ukwakha ezo zibophelelo zobuhlobo, kodwa xa sele unayo, umvuzo mkhulu.
Ukunqongophala kwabahlobo bekuhlisa? Ngaba ufuna ukuthetha nomntu malunga nayo? Thetha nomcebisi namhlanje onokukunceda uzive ungcono kwaye wenze unxibelelwano olutsha. Cofa nje apha ukunxibelelana nenye.
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