Sonke siye satyholwa ngokuthatha ukukhathazeka kwethu sikukhuphela komnye umntu, kodwa ngekhe sazi ukuba oku kunesizathu esingokwengqondo emva kwaso: Ukufuduswa.
Ukufuduswa, ngokwemigaqo kaFreudian, yinto engekho zingqondweni indlela yokuzikhusela ithatha imvakalelo enye (ihlala inomsindo okanye inomsindo) kwimeko enye kwaye uyiphose kwenye, ususe ukungonwabi kuthi kunye nomntu obangela uxinzelelo kwindawo ekusoyikisayo. Kuyimfuneko 'ukubetha ngenqindi phantsi' xa sisiva ukuba umntu onegunya, amandla okanye ukuma okulinganayo 'usenzakalisile'.
Kuyenzeka xa sisazi ukuba sifuna ukusabela, kodwa, ngenxa yezizathu ezahlukeneyo, siyazi ukuba asinakho okanye akufuneki ngendlela esithanda ngayo.
Rhoqo kukutshintshela isenzo ngokuthe ngqo, njengokukhwazwa kwimpikiswano kunye nokuguqula iintloni kunye nomsindo ube kukungxola emntwaneni wakho owenzekileyo ukuba azulazule ngombuzo.
Kodwa inokuthatha ubume bento engahambelani ngokupheleleyo.
wwe imali ebhankini 2017 amatikiti
Umzekelo 1: Ukudluliselwa okungahambelaniyo
Ukholejini, kwaye endaweni yokuchitha ixesha elongezelelekileyo ufunda, ukhetha ukuya kudibana nabahlobo. Kwiintsuku ezimbalwa kamva, wenza kakubi kuvavanyo olubalulekileyo, kodwa endaweni yokuvuma ukuba kungenxa yokuba ubungakulungelanga oko (okanye usole abahlobo bakho), uthatha isigqibo sokuba unjingalwazi ubuze imibuzo engacacanga. Awunakho ukujongana nonjingalwazi ngale nto unako, nangona kunjalo, usebenze ukubila okunzima ulawula iingxowa zokuvocavoca i-campus okanye kwiqela lakho elidlala igubu lasendle elinokuthi, kunokwenzeka, licaphukise abo bamameleyo.
Ukufuduswa kukuxabise ukhuseleko lomntu ngaphezulu komngcipheko. Inokuba yingozi ekuqinisekiseni umntu ukuba iinjongo (nkqu neenjongo zokulula Ukuphila imihla ngemihla ) ekugqibeleni zikhohlakele, kwaye zinxibelelana ngokusondeleyo uloyiko lokwaliwa , Ukwabelana ngeempawu ezoyikisayo eziyingozi: uloyiko lokuphumelela, ukungoneliseki ngobomi, ukungakwazi ukuzibophelela, ukuyibaxa imfuno yokuphazamiseka.
iindlela zokwenza ukuba umntu azive ekhethekileyo
Umzekelo 2: UkuGqithisela ngqo
Ucebise iveki yonke ukucoca igaraji ngoncedo lweqabane lakho. Impelaveki iza kwaye iqabane lakho, ngenxa yezizathu ezisemthethweni, libizelwe ukusebenza. Awungekhe ubabek 'ityala ngezinto ezingaphandle kolawulo lwabo, kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo awufuni ukwenza idrama engafanelekanga kunye nehlala ihleli kubudlelwane obungaphaya kwayo, kodwa ufuna ukwenza oku iminyaka.
Ubambelele ekukhathazekeni kwakho kude kube ngoMvulo kusasa, xa unokuba nokuqhekeka ngokufutshane kwaye umbi nabantu osebenza nabo ngaphandle kokwenza ingozi ehlala ihleli. Womelezwa kukwazi ukuba 'wonke umntu uvumelekile ukuba abe kwimeko amaxesha ngamaxesha.'
Umzekelo 3: Ukulahlwa kwindawo elahliwe
Ukufuduswa kunokuba kakhulu Ukuba nomsindo kwimbonakalo yayo, uhlobo lwe 'Bendingafuni lonto' impendulo. Kwenzeka kakhulu kwimicimbi yentliziyo. Xa umntu omthandayo engavumi ukusondela, yintoni esoloko siphendula ngayo kuqala? Sasingafuni ngokwenene, sasizenzela bona . An monologue yangaphakathi ithatha indawo ukukhusela i-egos, isixelele into ebesiyifuna yenye into ngokupheleleyo.
Ukufuduswa kunokuchaphazela neenjongo zethu zomsebenzi. Ngamanye amaxesha, oyena mntu usonzakalisa kakhulu sisiqu sethu, kwaye ingqondo iyakhawuleza ukushenxisa uloyiko, ukwaliwa, okanye ukuba sikulungele na ukuphuma kwiindawo zethu zentuthuzelo, ngeengcinga zokungasifuni ncam isikhundla esifuna ukusifumana usebenze nzima ukuze, kodwa endaweni yoko usebenzise enye enomngcipheko omncinci.
Umzekelo 4: Inkohliso engenatyala
Ukuba umntu uziva ngathi iqabane lakhe libeka phambili umsebenzi phezu kwabo, loo mntu angadlala ngothando nomhlobo wakhe ukuze afumane ingqalelo. Nokuba umntu onomdla ngothando akagqithisanga, le yindlela yokufuduka endaweni yokohlwaya iqabane ngqo, lo mntu wenza impindezelo ngaphandle kolwazi lomlingane ngokufumana into ekujoliswe kuyo, ukufumana ingqalelo ayifunayo, nokuxela akukho monakalo kwisenzo .
Unokuthanda (inqaku liyaqhubeka ngezantsi):
- I-Psychology yoqikelelo: I-8 Imvakalelo esiDlulisela kwabanye
- Ungayibeka njani indawo xa usiya kwabanye
- I-Psychology ye-Sublimation kunye nendlela enokubuphucula ngayo ubomi bakho
- Ungayiyeka Njani Intukuthelo: Amanqanaba asixhenxe ukusuka kwiRage ukuya kuKhululwa
- Iindlela ezi-4 zokungabikho kovelwano ziya kutshabalalisa ubudlelwane bakho
- Iindlela ezi-6 zokuZenzakalisa akufuneki ukuba uphendule ngokuGxekwa
Umzekelo 5: Ukufuduswa ngobundlongondlongo
Umfana ongenakuthatha u 'hayi' kwindawo yebar kwaye uyangxola xa evala. Umntwana uhlala ukhetha iimfazwe ngaphandle kwesizathu esibonakalayo. Umfazi ogculela intombi yakhe ngenxa yempazamo encinci. Aba ngabantu abangakwaziyo ukuhambisa ukufuduswa kwabo baye kuyo nantoni na engeyiyo Ukuqhuma ngogonyamelo . Abo basebenza phantsi kwamanqanaba aphezulu ngokungaqhelekanga okukhusela ukufuduka (kaninzi abo bangakhulanga, bezama ukomeleza ukuzithemba, okanye ukuba nakho iimvakalelo zelungelo ) ukufumana ubundlobongela ngokweemvakalelo nangokwasemzimbeni.
Ukufuduka ngobundlongondlongo kuphelisa iinjongo zobudlelwane, iinjongo zomsebenzi, ubomi basekhaya- ngokwenyani yonke into umntu ayijonga njengaphakathi komgangatho wokufuna ulonwabo.
ungaxela njani ukuba uyakufuna ngesondo
Umzekelo 6: Ukufuduswa okufanelekileyo
Nangona umsindo nobutshaba ziimpawu ezibonakalayo, ukufuduka kunokuthatha indawo yeendawo ezilungileyo.
Umfazi akanakufumana usapho lwakhe ukuba lummamele endaweni yokuba aziphose kubugcisa bakhe, ekugqibeleni enze iziqwenga ezintle ezifumana udumo.
Umntu ohlonela uThixo ushenxisa inkanuko yakhe yenyama ayise kwindawo yolonwabo.
Indoda eyeke amabhongo ayo embaleki ngenxa yotata ogqithileyo inika isibonelelo kwiqela loluntu ukuze lihlaziye indawo yokudlala.
Umzekelo 7: Ukufuduswa njengoNyango lokuqonda
Xa umntu esivisa ubuhlungu, sifuna ukungxolisa. Leyo yinxalenye yeengqondo zethu. Siyazi ke, nangona kunjalo, indlela ezinamandla ngayo iindawo zokuhlala kunye neendibano zentlalo. Ukufuduswa kusigcina ekwenzakaliseni amawaka eziqholo esinazo sonke.
Nangona kunjalo, ukuba siyakwazi ukujonga iimeko zethu zokufuduka zisebenza, sivula iinxalenye zearhente yethu yangaphakathi kwiindlela ezimangalisayo zokucaca.
Umzekelo, ukuba siyazi ukuba sitshintsha ukukhathazeka kwethu ngobomi ngokubanzi kuye wonke umntu, endaweni yoko singatshintshela ngakuye ukuba novelwano ngakumbi kwabanye kunokuba ubamangalele.
Ukufuduswa kunokuba yindlela esebenzayo yokukhupha amandla ngokukhuselekileyo nangokunenzuzo.
ukuba wenzeni xa ungalunganga kwinto yonke
Kwaye amaphupha ethu, anokuqwalaselwa njengolona fuduko lungaziwayo, sinokubona ukuphucuka. Ngokuqinisekileyo akukho sidingo sokubona ukufuduka njengobubi, indlela efihlakeleyo ethoba iminqweno yethu ebukhali. Ukuyiqonda kancinci le nto siyenzayo kwaye kutheni siyenza yindlela ephumeleleyo eya kubomi obonwabisayo kunye nokunxibelelana.
