Ukrokrela ukuba iqabane lakho elithandwayo liyakukhohlisa.
Okanye mhlawumbi unobungqina bokuba i-ex-narcissistic ex yakho ikukopisile.
Kwaye uyazibuza ukuba kutheni.
Konke kuza engqondweni yabo. Inkqubo yokucinga elawula isenzo sabo.
Eli nqaku liza kuphonononga izizathu zokuba kutheni i-narcissist inokukhohlisa kunye nendlela abanokuthi benze ngayo xa kufunyenwe ukungathembeki.
Kodwa okokuqala, unokuzibuza…
Ngaba Zonke iiNarcissists ziyakopa?
Impendulo emfutshane: hayi, ayizizo zonke ii-narcissists ezikhohlisayo.
Kodwa i-Narcissist Personality Disorder (NPD) yenza ukuba umntu abe namathuba angaphezulu kokungathembeki kwiqabane lakhe.
Ngokufanayo, awunakutsho ukuba bonke abakhohlisi bangama-narcissists.
Abantu abavela kuzo zonke iintlobo zemvelaphi kunye nazo zonke iintlobo zobuntu bayakwazi ukukopa.
Kodwa izizathu zokuba umntu obhinqileyo angakopa kwaye indlela abaziva ngayo ngayo iyabahlukanisa nabanye.
Kutheni le nto amaNarcissist ekopa?
Utyekelo lomnxibelelanisi wokukhohlisa iqabane livela kwindibaniselwano yezinto.
Oku kulandelayo luluhlu lwezinto ezinegalelo.
1. Unikezelo lweNarcissistic
I-Narcissists ifuna ingqalelo kunye nokudumisa. Esi sisiyobisi sabo esikhethiweyo.
Xa abantu bebajonga, bebaleka, okanye befuna nangayiphi na indlela, kubenza bazive bonwabile.
Ingxaki kukuba, bafuna ingqalelo enkulu kunye nohlobo olufanelekileyo lokuqwalaselwa.
Kwaye ubudlelwane bodwa abuhlali bubanika into abayifunayo, ngakumbi ukuba olo lwalamano lusekiwe kwaye alusenanjongo njengangaphambili.
Kwaye ke bajonge kwenye indawo abantu abathandayo abatsha ukuba banike ingqalelo ephezulu.
2. Uluvo lweLungelo
I-narcissist ikholelwa ngokunyanisekileyo ukuba kufanelekile kunezinto kunabanye abantu.
Bahlala benobunzima obuphezulu kwaye oku kuyabenza ndiziva ndinelungelo ukuthatha nantoni na abayifunayo ebomini.
Kwaye oku kubandakanya ukuthatha ngaphezulu kweqabane elinye okanye ukuba nemicimbi.
Akungombuzo wokuba ingaba le nto ilungile okanye ayilunganga ngokuziphatha ngenxa yokuba akufuneki baphile ngokwemigangatho yethu yabantu abaphantsi.
Kukho imigaqo eyahlukeneyo kubo kwaye le mithetho ithethelela nakuphi na ukungathembeki ngokweemvakalelo nangokwasemzimbeni.
3. I-Ego engenayo
Njengoko besesitshilo, ii-narcissists zicinga kakhulu ngokwazo.
Bacinga ukuba banqweneleka kakhulu kwabanye.
Oku kubanika inqanaba lokuzithemba malunga namalungu esondo abawathandayo kwaye bayakwazi ukuguqula oku kube ngumtsalane.
Lo mtsalane udala ingqalelo efanelekileyo ebonelela ngonikezelo lwe-narcissistic oluchazwe apha ngasentla.
Kwaye ke abanazintloni zokuzibeka kwimeko apho bagqibela ngokudlala ngothando nomnye umntu ongelilo iqabane labo.
Ngamanye amaxesha ihlala njengokudlala ngothando, kodwa nje ngokuba kwezi meko, banamathuba amaninzi okukhohlisa.
4. Ukulawulwa kweMpembelelo embi
Nantsi lapho ubungqina bokucebisa ubudlelwane obomeleleyo phakathi kwe-narcissism kunye nokunyanzeliswa.
Ayililo lonke ixesha, khumbula, kuba ii-narcissists zinokubala kakhulu.
Kodwa kwiimeko apho kukho ithuba lokufumana ukubonelelwa kwe-narcissistic kunye nokunye ukuzanelisa ngokwasemzimbeni okanye ngokwesondo, i-narcissist inokufumana umnqweno ongenakuphikiswa.
Ngaphandle kokujonga iziphumo zezenzo zabo, banokukhohlisa iqabane lakho rhoqo ngaphandle kwesizathu ngaphandle kokuzibamba.
5. Ukuqhuba ngesondo okuphezulu
Uninzi lwee-narcissists zine-libido eyomeleleyo.
Ukwabelana ngesondo, kubo, ngomnye umthombo wokubonelela kunye nethuba lokubonisa ukubaluleka kwabo.
Nokuba bayonwabele kangakanani na okanye iqabane labo owabelana nalo ngesondo, umntu osebenzisa isondo usebenzisa isondo njengendlela yokuzihlaziya.
Kubetha ngamandla iziyobisi abazifunayo ukuze bazive bonwabile malunga nabo.
Ukuba abanelisekanga ngesondo abanalo neqabane labo, le hit ayizukuqina.
Ke baya kufuna isondo kwenye indawo ukuze bafumane into abayifunayo.
6. Uhambo lwaMandla
AbakwaNarcissist bathanda ukuziva benolawulo kwabanye. Baye emandleni okukholisa abantu ukuba benze nantoni na abanqwenela ukuyenza.
Ukwabelana ngesondo okanye ezinye iindlela zokuthobela ngokwasemzimbeni nangokweemvakalelo kuyamkholisa umntu obhinqileyo.
Kwaye ke bakubona njengomceli mngeni ukutsala nokulukuhla abantu. Ayinamsebenzi kubo ukuba sele benobudlelwane.
Bayakonwabela ukuleqwa kunye nolwaneliseko lokufumana impumelelo ebhedini.
Oku kulandela ukuba baya kufumana ulonwabo ngakumbi ngokulawula ngaphezulu kweqabane elinye. Kwaye ke banokuzibandakanya kwimicimbi okanye bakhokele ubomi obuninzi namaqabane amaninzi.
indlela yokwenza into ongafuniyo ukuyenza
Ukuba banokuhamba ngaphandle koku, kuyangqina kubo ukuba bangaphezulu kunabanye. Isilumko ngakumbi, inomdla ngakumbi, iyathandeka ngakumbi.
7. Ukuphelisa ubuntu
Njengoko kuchaziwe ku Inqaku elinzulu ngalo mbandela , ii-narcissists aziboni okanye zibaphathe abantu njengabantu.
Ngaphandle kokuba yimithombo yokuqwalaselwa, abantu babonwa njengezinto abanokuzisebenzisa kunye nokuphathwa gadalala.
Iimvakalelo zabo azinamsebenzi. Intlalontle yabo ayinamsebenzi.
Umntu owenza iziyobisi ukhathalela iziqu zakhe kuphela.
Ukukopa iqabane akuyonyani ngokwenene emehlweni enarcissist. Umntu angakhohlisa njani kwinto enenye into?
8. Ukunqongophala Kwetyala
Iziphumo ezingenakuphepheka zenqaku langaphambili kukuba ii-narcissists aziziva zinetyala okanye ukuzisola ngokukhohlisa iqabane.
Ayinamsebenzi ukuba lo ngumntu abasandula ukungena kubudlelwane naye okanye umfazi okanye umyeni weminyaka emininzi okanye amashumi eminyaka.
Abazukubanjwa bangathembeki ngazo naziphi na iimvakalelo kumaqabane abo. Azinasazela sokubanqanda.
Kwaye oku kubuyela emva kukungabikho kolawulo lwempembelelo ekuxoxwe ngalo ngaphambili.
Inye into enceda uninzi lwabantu ukulawula iminqweno yabo kukungazithandi iimvakalelo ezingalunganga ezibangelwa kukophula ukuthembela komntu omkhathaleleyo.
Kodwa ngenxa yokuba ii-narcissists zivakalelwa kukuba akukho nto, le ndlela yokuthintela ukungathembeki ayikho.
9. Bacinga Ukuba Bangaphambuka Kuyo
AmaNarcissist ngamaxoki anobuchule kunye nabaqhathi. Banokukhohlisa nje kuba bekholelwa ukuba abanakubanjwa.
Abakholelwa ukuba kuya kubakho iziphumo eziphambili kwizenzo zabo kuba banokuthetha indlela yokuphuma kubo.
Oku akuthethi ukuba iziphumo ziya kwanela ukubathintela ekukhohliseni.
Kodwa abayazi nje kwangaphambili into enokubenza bangakhohlisi.
Amanye amanqaku abalulekileyo e-narcissist:
- Izinto ezi-5 zeNarcissists zitsho kwaye ziyakwenza ukugcina ukubuya kwakho
- AbaLwimi beeNarcissist basebenzise ukuGweba kunye nokuKhathaza amaxhoba abo
- Iindlela zokuKopa xa ushiya iqabane laseNarcissistic ngasemva
- ICoververt Narcissist: Iintloni, iintlobo eziNgenisiweyo zinokuba ziiNarcissists
- Iimpawu ze-6 oJongene ne-Narcissist eModareyitha (kodwa ke uyiNarcissist)
- I-Rollercoaster yokubuyisela kwimeko yesiqhelo kwiNarcissistic Abuse
Iimpawu zeNarcissist kukuKopela
Ukuqonda ukuba iqabane lakho elikhohlisayo liyakopela kuwe kuhlala kusiza ekuboneni imiqondiso.
Oku akuyiyo yonke into eyahlukileyo kuleyo uya kuyibona kunye nabani na okopayo, i-narcissist okanye hayi.
Nangona zikhona izinto ezithile zokuqaqambisa ezinxulumene ngakumbi narcissists.
imiqondiso yokuba ubudlelwane buphelile
1. Bayanyamalala ixesha elide
Ngekhe ubabone okanye uve kubo iintsuku ezininzi nokuba uzokuzama kangaphi ukunxibelelana.
Banokunyamalala ebusweni bomhlaba njengoko bechitha ixesha namanye amaqabane okanye abathandi.
Nokuba uhlala nabo, banokufumana iindlela zokuba ‘kude’ nokuba kungasetyenzwa okanye kukuzonwabisa okanye babone umhlobo wakudala (lowo ngekhe bakuze bakukhankanye kuwe ngaphambili).
Xa ubaphikisa, benza ubuxoki obukhulu kwaye bakuxelele ukuba wenza intaba kwinduli yemolekyuli.
Okanye banokude baqale umlo kunye nawe ukuze benze isidingo sexesha 'lokuphola'. Oku kubanika isizathu esifanelekileyo sokungabikho okwethutyana.
2. Banokukutyhola ngokuKopela
Ukukubeka kude nevumba lokungathembeki kwabo, banokukubiza kwaye bacebise ukuba uyabaqhatha.
Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, kutheni ubakrokrela ngokungathembeki ukuba babonisa indelelo enzulu ngokuziphatha okunjalo?
Ngokuhlasela kuqala, bakubeka ngasemva. Nokuba ucinga ukuba bayakukhohlisa, kunzima ukuzisa umxholo ngelixa uzama nokuzikhusela.
Ukuba uyakwenza oko, baya kuzigxeka nje naziphi na izityholo njengendlela yakho yokugxeka ityala.
Oku akufuneki kudideke neklasikhi ingqikelelo yengqondo kuxa umntu ebonisa iimvakalelo ezingathandekiyo komnye umntu.
Kwimeko ye-narcissist, abaziva naziphi na iimvakalelo ezimbi xa bekopela kwaye ke izizathu zabo zokukutyhola ngokukopela ayizame ukuzenza bazive ngcono.
3.Gqithisela ukudlala ngothando kwimidiya yoluntu
Ngaba bahlala beshiya amagqabantshintshi kwiifoto nakwifoto yabo babizwa ngokuba ngabahlobo abadlala ngothando?
Bayakubanga ukuba oku kumsulwa ngokupheleleyo, kunjalo, kodwa usenokuthi akukho msi ngaphandle komlilo.
Amagqabantshintshi anele ngokwabo ukubonisa ukuba bayakopa. Kodwa ukuba bakulungele ukungazingci ngokudlala ngothando kwabo, kubonisa ukuba abayikhathalelanga into oyithethayo okanye oyicingayo.
4. Ukutshintsha kwemikhwa yesini
Njengoko bekuxoxiwe apha ngasentla, isini yindlela yokuphelisa i-narcissists. Yindlela yokuba bafumane ukulungiswa konikezelo lwe-narcissistic.
Kwaye ke ukuba ufumanisa ukuba iqabane lakho alisafuni ngenkani kuwe, kukho ithuba lokuba bayifumana kwenye indawo.
Okanye ukuba isini singena ngokugqabhuka, oku kungabonisa ukuba balahle isithandwa sabo samva okanye loo mntu akafumaneki ngesizathu esithile. Kwaye ke babuyela kuwe ukuhlangabezana neemfuno zabo.
5. Abakuvumeli ukuba usondele kwifowuni yabo (okanye bavule kakhulu ngayo)
Ukuba i-narcissist iyakukhohlisa, kusenokwenzeka ukuba bacwangcisa yonke into ngemiyalezo.
Oku kunokuba nabantu abasele bebazi, okanye kunokuba ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo zokuthandana okanye iihapps.
Ke, kuyaqondakala, abayi kukuvumela ukuba usondele kwifowuni yabo kwaye baya kugcina ipaswedi yabo kuwe.
Kwelinye icala lesiphelo, banokuvula kakhulu ngefowuni yabo kwaye bakuvumele ukuba uyisebenzise nanini na ufuna.
Ukuba kunjalo, kukho ithuba lokuba babe neyesibini, ifowuni eyimfihlo abayisebenzisayo xa ungekho.
Okanye mhlawumbi babanga ukuba banomnxeba wasemsebenzini ongavumelekanga ukufikelela kuwo, kuphela kubonakala ngathi bakuloo nto ininzi ngaphandle kweeyure zomsebenzi.
6. Baye ngesiquphe babe Ukonga kakhulu
AbakwaNarcissists bayathanda ukuchitha imali kwimidla yothando olutsha. Oku kwenzeka kwinqanaba lokuqala lolwalamano xa zisenzeka ibhombu yothando amaxhoba abo amatsha ngelinge lokubaphumelela.
Isiphumo kukuba banemali encinci yokuchitha kuyo kunye nawe.
Ngaphandle kokuba utshatile (kwaye ngamanye amaxesha ngamanye amaxesha), i-narcissist iya kugxininisa kwiiakhawunti zebhanki ezahlukileyo, ke ngekhe uyazi ukuba bachitha ntoni imali.
Kodwa ukuba bayakucela ukuba unyathele amatyala kule nyanga okanye ngokungakukhuphi kangako, kunokuba kungenxa yokuba baphambukisa imali besiya komnye umntu.
Ukujongana neNarcissist yokukhohlisa
Masicinge ukuba uqinisekile ngokufanelekileyo ukuba iqabane lakho lokuziphatha kakubi liyakukhohlisa.
Kwenzeka ntoni xa usibajongile ngale nto?
Ngokwesiqhelo, impendulo yabo yokuqala kukungavumi. Abayi kwala ukwamkela nantoni na.
Ukuba bayakopa, baya kuphendula ubuxoki ukuze bakholelwe ngenye indlela.
Baza kuba nomsindo kwaye ukukhanya kwegesi ukuze ulahle ivumba.
Bazokwala ukubandakanyeka kulo mbandela kwaye bayivale incoko ngalo naliphi na ixesha xa uwuphakamisa.
Kodwa uza kuthini ukuba unolunye uhlobo lobungqina olucebisa okanye lubonisa ukuba banetyala?
Emva koko baya kuqala bazame ukungcolisa naluphi na ulwazi onalo. Baya kubanga ukuba umthombo awuthembekanga, nokuba ngaba nguwe.
Uve kakubi. Khange uyibone into ocinga ukuba uyibonile. Into oyifundileyo ayibhalwanga ngabo.
Ukuba ngomnye umntu okholelwa ukuba ubone okanye weva into, lo mntu ukuxokisile. I-narcissist iyakubanga ukuba loo mntu zange ayithande kwaye izama ukukuqhekeza.
Kwenzeka ntoni ukuba uyaqhubeka nesibango sokuba bakopelile? Kuthekani ukuba ubungqina bakho abunakuphikwa?
I-narcissist iya kubuyisela izinto kuwe kwaye ibange ukuba kukuziphatha kwakho okubenze bakopa.
Ube nosy kakhulu. Awubabonisanga ukuthembela kubo. Ubaphethe kakubi. Uye wazikhulula.
Ukuba abakwazi ukuphambuka kwizinto ngobuxoki, baya kwenza eyona nto ilungileyo kwaye bayenze ibe yimpazamo yakho.
Oku kukubeka umva kukhuseleko kwaye kususe ukugxila kwizenzo zabo.
Ngaba ke kufuneka uzikhathaze ngokujongana nabo?
Ewe nohayi.
Ukujongana nabo ngokuqinisekileyo ngekhe uzive ulungile kwaye ungalindela ukuba basebenzise onke amaqhinga abo amdaka ngokuchasene nawe.
Kodwa ukuba ufuna ukwamkelwa kwetyala, ngenjongo yoqhawulo mtshato ngokomzekelo, kuya kufuneka uyenze.
Nokuba ufuna ukushiya ubudlelwane, ukuba nale ncoko kungaqala loo nkqubo.
Ukushiya i-narcissist akulula - abazukuyenza lula - kodwa ukuba bacinga ukuba awusabukholelwa ubuxoki babo kwaye abanakukukhohlisa, banokugqiba ekubeni awusafanele umzamo.
Enye indlela kukunyuka kwaye ushiye kwaye ungadibani nabo. Kwixesha elide, le yindlela esebenzayo ejongene narcissist , kodwa izisa ezayo iingxaki okwethutyana.
Nokuba yeyiphi na indlela oyithathayo, i-narcissist inokuthi iqhube iphulo lokukuchasa usebenzisa iinkawu eziphaphazelayo ukusasaza ulwazi lonto ikwenza ube ngumntu ombi.
Abayi kufuna abanye bakholelwe ukuba abafezekanga kunokuba bacinga ukuba banjalo.
Kodwa ekugqibeleni, ukukopela okanye ukungakhohlisi, ungcono ngaphandle kolo lwalamano.
