Inye kuphela Inkqubo yokubuyisa gadalala uyakuze ufune.
Unomdla? Cofa -> Ewe / Hayi.
Ngokwesiqhelo, i-narcissists ayingobantu ekufuneka ufune ukunxulumana nabo.
Nabani na owenzayo unokugcina iimvakalelo-kwaye ngamanye amaxesha ngokwasemzimbeni-ukwenzakala abangasokuze baphinde babuye kuzo.
Awunakukuqonda oko, kodwa iNarcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) sisifo esiqhelekileyo esiqhelekileyo.
Isifundo sika-2008 e-US yabantu abadala abangaphezulu kwama-34,000, bagqiba kwelokuba uninzi lwe-6.2% yabantu abadala banesi sifo.
Isayina umntu ophulukana nomdla
Xa i-narcissism ixhaphake kakhulu eluntwini, kukho ithuba elihle lokuba ukhe wadibana nenye okanye ezininzi ebomini bakho (kwaye uya kudibana ngakumbi kwixa elizayo).
Awunakuhlala ukwazi ukubabona, nangona kunjalo, ngenxa yokuba bekwazi ukufihla iinkalo ezinobundlobongela kubuntu babo .
Bahlala befika njengabantu abanomtsalane kwaye banobuhlobo.
Oko kuthethiweyo, xa uchonge i-narcissism kumntu, kwaye uyazibuza ukuba ungajongana njani ne-narcissist, inye kuphela indlela eqinisekileyo yomlilo yokuthintela nakuphi na ukwenzakala kwicala lakho.
Ukuba ufuna ukunqanda ukudideka kunye ne-narcissist ukuba ufuna ukuphepha ukwenzakala ngokwasemphefumlweni, ngokweemvakalelo nangokwasemzimbeni okuza ngenxa yokujongana nenye, ke awunakukhetha ngaphandle kokwala ukuzibandakanya nabo nakweyiphi na inqanaba.
Ukuphinda le nto ibalulekileyo: ekuphela kwendlela yokujongana ngempumelelo ne-narcissist kukungajongani nabo kwaphela.
Kuya kufuneka ubeke umgama omninzi kangangoko phakathi kwabo kunye nawe ukuba ufuna ukuthintela impembelelo yabo yobubi ekungeneni ebomini bakho.
Kuya kufuneka uqhawule onke amaqhina, uyeke lonke unxibelelwano, kwaye ususe uninzi (ngakumbi zonke) iindlela ezinokuthi ziwele.
Isenokuvakala njengesisombululo esigqithisileyo, ngakumbi ukuba awukabi nawo amava apheleleyo okuziphatha kwe-narcissistic, kodwa ayikho enye indlela eqinisekisiweyo enokubangela inkululeko yakho kulawulo lwabo.
Nazi izizathu ezibini eziphambili zokuba kutheni ibhlokhi epheleleyo kunye iyonke iyimfuneko xa ujongene narcissist.
Isiyobisi seNarcissistic Supply
IiNarcissist zondla ngeemvakalelo zabanye ziyomelela ngokwenza abanye bazive bebuthathaka.
Kubo, ekuphela kwento ebaluleke ngokwenene kukuzanelisa, kwaye enye yeendlela ezilula zokukwenza oku kukuthoba isidima nakweyiphi na enqamlezayo indlela yabo.
Nokuba ungaba loluphi ulwalamano - uthando, usapho, umntu osebenza naye, okanye umntu nje omqhelileyo- umntu obhinqileyo uya kufuna ukukulawula ukuze akhuthaze umbono omkhulu abanawo ngokwabo.
Kubo, awuyonto ngaphandle kokuba ngumthombo wokuqwalaselwa, wokudunyiswa, nowokudunyiswa.
Bayakudinga ukuba ubabonelele ngezi zinto ukuze baqhubeke nokuxhasa umoya wabo opholileyo, nokuzikhohlisa.
Ngenye indlela, ukuba ukuqiniswa okuqinisekileyo kungazukuvela, ii-narcissists ziya kuhlala zonwabele ungquzulwano kuba, nazo, zibanika imbonakalo abayinqwenelayo.
Iimpikiswano kunye nokungavumelani kunika i-narcissist ngamathuba okuphatha yenza ukuba abanye abantu babe sesichengeni sokukholisa kwaye banakho ukwenza izinto ebebengenokuzenza ngenye indlela.
Ukuba i-narcissist inokuqhuba umchasi wayo ukuba enze okanye athethe into, inika amandla kwinkolelo abanayo ngokwabo njengabantu abanamandla nabaphezulu.
njani ukuba ngumfazi obhinqileyo
Nokuba yeyiphi na indlela ekufezekiswe ngayo, ingqwalaselo ngowona mthombo uphambili wonikezelo lwe-narcissistic kunye nonyanzeliso lomntu ekufuneka ebenalo rhoqo ukuba uza kusebenza.
Njengoko uMelanie Tonia Evans ebeka kuye Inqaku elibalaseleyo kunikezelo lwe-narcissistic :
Ngokulula, ukubonelelwa nge-narcissistic ngamandla-yingqwalaselo. Kukwazi, 'Ukuba ndinokufumana ingqalelo kuwe, iyandivumela ukuba ndazi ukuba ndikhona.'
Kwaigama elithi 'narcissist supply' licacisa iipropathi zalo kwaye akukho nzima ukubona ukufana phakathi kwayo kunye nesidingo samachiza notywala kwabo banengxaki yokusebenzisa gwenxa iziyobisi.
Ewe kunjalo, uphononongo oludityaniswe apha ngasentla lubhekisa kwinqanaba lokudibana phakathi kwe-NPD kunye nokusetyenziswa kweziyobisi.
Ithetha ntoni le nto? Ewe, kwi-narcissist, wena kunye nengqwalaselo oyinikezelayo uyakhobokisa kufuneka bafumane 'ukulungiswa' rhoqo ngoku ukuze banelise i-ego yabo.
Ngaphandle kwayo, baya kusokola ukugcina umfanekiso wabo wangaphandle owenzelwe ngononophelo.
Oku kuyafana kakhulu nomntu onesiyobisi esinokusebenza ngokugqibeleleyo xa sele enedosi, kodwa ahlukane nokuzithemba.
Ukuba uqhubeka ubanika into abayifunayo, baya kuqhubeka bekunyanzela kwiimfuno zabo kunye neminqweno yabo.
Ngethuba nje ungumthombo osebenzayo wobonelelo, baya kuqhubeka beqhubeka bebuya ukuze bafumane ukubetha kwabo.
Kungenxa yoko le nto kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba uyeke zonke iindlela zonxibelelwano ukuze ukhululeke kwi-narcissist.
Usisiyobisi esigcina i-narcissist ihamba, kodwa ukuba uyeka ukuzinikela ukuze usetyenziswe, baya kunyanzelwa ukuba bayifune kwenye indawo.
Slip up nangayiphi na indlela, nangona, kwaye ngequbuliso uyakufumanisa ukuba i-narcissist iya zihombise iinzipho zazo ngaphandle kwengcinga yomzuzwana.
Kuya kufana nekhoboka lotywala eliye lahlala lingenangqondo iminyaka lithatha i-swig yevodka - umnqweno wokuthatha enye ngokukhawuleza yandisa engqondweni yabo.
Kuya kufuneka ubuye turkey kwi-narcissist.
Kuya kufuneka ususe konke okwenzekayo ebomini bakho kunye nawe.
Kuya kufuneka uphule umjikelo wobango kunye nonikezelo olwenza kuphela ibhondi yokwenyani owakhe wabelana ngayo.
Unokuthanda (inqaku liyaqhubeka ngezantsi):
- AbaLwimi beeNarcissist basebenzise ukuGweba kunye nokuKhathaza amaxhoba abo
- Iindlela zokuKopa xa ushiya iqabane laseNarcissistic ngasemva
- Ukuqinisekisa ngokunyanga amaxhoba okuxhatshazwa
- Uthando lweBhombu: Umqondiso osisilumkiso kwangethuba wokuba uthandana neNarcissist
- Ungamenzakalisa njani uNarcissist
- Iimpawu ze-12 Ujongana neNarcissist enobungozi
Ukungakwazi kweNarcissist ukutshintsha
Masicace gca: i-narcissism kukuphazamiseka kubuntu hayi isifo sengqondo.
Kuba ayizibangeli ukungalingani kwemichiza ngendlela, ithi, ukudakumba, akunakunyangwa-ubuncinci ngokukuko-ngamachiza.
I-narcissism yenzeka ngenxa yotshintsho lobume bobuchopho obakha ixesha elingaphezulu njengempendulo kwiziganeko nakwizikhuthazi.
Unxibelelwano oluhambelana notyekelo lwe-narcissistic lukhula lomelele ekuhambeni kwexesha njengoko kuqiniswa ngonikezelo lwe-narcissistic, kwaye ke imeko kunzima kakhulu ukuyiguqula.
Kukho imiqondiso ethintelweyo yokuba unyango olunje ngeCognitive Behavioural Therapy lunokunceda ekunciphiseni isidingo sokubonisa imikhwa ye-narcissistic, kodwa zimbalwa, ukuba zikhona, iimeko ezibhaliweyo ze-narcissists ezoyisa imeko yazo.
Yiyo kanye le nto kufuneka wenze ikhefu elicocekileyo nakweyiphi na i-narcissists odibana nayo.
Ukuziphatha kwabo okuyinyani (kwaye ayisiyiyo le nto bayidlulisayo njengobuxoki babo) akunakulindeleka ukuba utshintshe kwaye awufanele uyilindele.
I-narcissist iya kuhlala i-narcissist kude kube lusuku lokufa kwabo ngenxa yokuba bengaboni nto iphosakeleyo ngento abayenzayo.
Abanawo amandla afunekayo okuzihlola kunye nokuzazisa kwabo ukuze baqonde ukuba indlela abaziphethe ngayo ayikho semgangathweni kwaye ayamkelekanga.
Ngaphezu koko, ukuba unokholo oluthile onokuthi ngandlel 'ithile ukwazi ukunceda utshintsho lwe-narcissist, uyaphazama.
ungajongana njani nokuxokiswa kubudlelwane
Indima yakho kwimbonakalo yonke ayisiyonto eyodlula umthengisi.
I-narcissist inako kuphela ukutshintsha xa ikwazi ukuzijonga ngokwembono yangaphandle, kwaye obu buchule bokujonga njengomntu wesithathu kungaphaya kwamandla abo okuqonda.
Kuya kufuneka uthathele ingqalelo into yokuba umnqweno wakho wokubanceda awusekelwanga ekuziphatheni kwabo, kodwa kubuntu bakho kunye neemfuno zakho.
Ingxoxo enjalo ingaphaya kokukhululwa kweli nqaku, kodwa kwanele ukuthetha ukuba unokutsaleleka kubanqolobi phantse njengoko benjalo kuwe. Esinye isizathu sokuhamba ngokucacileyo kubo.
andinabahlobo abangamantombazana
Kutheni ugqibe ukwahlula usebenze
Ukuza kuthi ga ngoku sithethile ngezona zizathu zibalulekileyo zokuba kutheni kufuneka usike i-narcissist ebomini bakho ngokupheleleyo, kodwa kutheni le nto isebenza kangaka?
Impendulo ilula kwaye ibuyela kuthelekiso phakathi kwe-narcissist efuna ukubonelelwa kwabo kunye neziyobisi abafuna ezabo.
Ukuba uyeka ukuba ngumthombo wonikezelo, i-narcissist ayizukukhetha ngaphandle kokuyikhangela kwenye indawo kuba bengakulungelanga ukubeka emngciphekweni ukurhoxa ixesha elide.
Yimeko elusizi yemicimbi, kodwa kuwo onke amathuba, ukuba uyabakhanyela into abayifunayo, i-narcissist iya kunyanzelwa ukuba ifumane umntu okanye enye into ukuze ibabonelele.
Ngelixa banokuzama, kaninzi-ninzi, ukukuhenda ubuyele ekubeni ngumthombo wonikezelo, ekugqibeleni baya kufuna ukukudodobalisa ezingqondweni zabo kwaye badlulele kwiithagethi ezingakumbi.
Kwi-narcissist, omnye umthombo ngokubanzi ulungile njengomnye, kodwa ukugcina ubuso, baya kuziqinisekisa ukuba ubungafanelekanga kwasekuqaleni ukuba bafanele ngcono.
Awuyi kuba ngaphezulu kwebala kwimemori yabo, yeziphumo ezincinci kwaye awunamdla (ngaphandle kokuba kukho into ebangela iminqweno yabo kuwe kwakhona, njengokuhlangana ngamathuba).
Ngokubanzi, ke, ukuba unokuma ngokuchasene neenzame zabo zokuqala zokukubuyisela njengomthombo wonikezelo, i-narcissist iya kukruquka kwaye iqhubeke.
Akukho Nto yokuziva Ungalunganga
Abanye abantu banokuphikisa ngelithi le ndlela ingqongqo, ngokwayo, yindlela yokuziphatha enesidima kwaye yohlwaya i-narcissist ngokuba yile ndlela iyiyo, nokuba le yayingelilo ukhetho abalwenzileyo besazi.
Mhlawumbi, phezu komhlaba, kukho inyani encinci koku. Ukusika onke amakhonkco kunye ne-narcissist kuya kuthi, okwexeshana ubuncinci, kubabangele inqanaba lentlungu.
Le ntlungu, nangona kunjalo, ayikho ngaphezulu kokurhoxa kunikezelo lwe-narcissistic olunikezileyo.
Le ndlela yokujongana ne-narcissist ekugqibeleni ikukuvuma okupheleleyo kunye nokuba ngubani kunye nokuba bayintoni.
Ayifuni ukunxiba iswekile inyani okanye yenze izaba nakubani na - isebenza njengeyona ndlela isebenzayo yokuzisa izinto esiphelweni.
Kananjalo akufuneki ukuba uyibhidanise nokubaleka iingxaki zakho.
Kuyinyani ukuba ukujongana neengxaki zakho yeyona ndlela yokuzoyisa, kodwa kwimeko yokuphatha i-narcissist, ingxaki ayisiyakho ukuba woyise yeyabo.
Awunakho nangayiphi na indlela ukujongana nemicimbi kwaye ke akufuneki uzive unetyala ngokubaleka kubo.
Ekupheleni kosuku, i-narcissist ayiloqabane elisempilweni nakubani na, kwaye eyona nto unokuyenza kukuzama ukubasusa ebomini bakho kwaye uqhubeke.
Ukuba, nangasiphi na isizathu, ukungayi kunxibelelana ayisiyonyani (mhlawumbi unabantwana nabo, okanye bangabaphathi bakho), zama ukuphumeza Indlela yeGrey Rock ukujongana nabo ngendlela eya kukubeka emngciphekweni omncinci wokonzakala.
Jonga oku ikhosi ekwi-intanethi yenzelwe ukunceda umntu Philisa kuphatho gadalala .
Cofa apha ukuze ufunde ngakumbi.
Eli phepha linamalungu onxibelelwano. Ndifumana ikhomishini encinci ukuba ukhetha ukuthenga nantoni na emva kokucofa kuyo.
