Inye kuphela Inkqubo yokubuyisa gadalala uyakuze ufune.
Cofa apha ukuze ufunde ngakumbi.
Uyenzile ikhefu kwaye ngeli xesha uyinyanisile ukuba ingxaki kukuba ubudlelwane bakho neqabane elithandwayo likushiye usengozini kuye (ndiza kunamathela 'kuye' kulo lonke inqaku , kodwa ngokulula nje inokuba 'kuye') amandla akhohlisayo okukhohlisa.
I-narcissist ayizukushiya wedwa xa uhamba-zombini ngokwasemzimbeni nangokwasemzimbeni, uya kuzama ukuhlala ebomini bakho yiyo ke le nto ufuna onke amaqhinga kunye neendlela ezikhoyo zokumthintela ukuba angabinayo indlela yokubuya.
Ukuba unokuzibona uzama ukubaleka kubudlelwane obunjalo, qiniseka ukuba unike ingqalelo ekhethekileyo kwezi zilandelayo.
Ukuqonda Ihlabathi leNarcissist
I-narcissist ikholelwa ngokwenyani ukuba liziko lendalo iphela eza kuqala kwaye ihlala ilungile. AmaNarcissist aludlolo ngokweemvakalelo kwaye awanalo uvelwano lokujonga impembelelo ezinokuthi zenziwe zizenzo zabo kwabo babangqongileyo.
Bahlala bengonwabanga kwaphela (nokuba bajongeka njani) kwaye abayithandi into engaphaya kokuveza ezi mvakalelo zimbi kwabanye ngethemba lokuqhuba ungquzulwano- ikati yokwenyani ye-narcissists.
I-narcissist yintshatsheli ye-fakery-inokuvula ikhubalo ekuweni komnqwazi kunye nokuxoka ngokuxoka ngokuxoka ngenjongo yokufumana eyayo indlela kunye nokubetha eyayo i-ego. Ufuna izinto ezikhuthazayo zomntu kwangethuba kwaye azisebenzise ngokuchasene nabo kube kanye ixesha lasemva komtshato liphelile .
I-narcissist ngumsebenzisi-inika incinci kakhulu indlela yobushushu bokwenyani kwiqabane, kodwa inyanzelisa umsinga oqhubekayo wayo uqukuqela usiya kuye. Ufuna ukuncoma kunye namagama anobubele rhoqo kwaye uya kufuna ukohlwaya iqabane lakho ukuba ezi azizukuvela.
Ubona ubudlelwane njengemithombo yokubonelela ngononophelo nothando nangona engakwazi ukubuyisa le yokugqibela.
Xa iqabane lizama ukwahlukana ne-narcissist, aliboni njengelahleko, ngokwahlukeneyo, kodwa kunoko ukubamba kwabo oku kubonelelwa. Ujongene ne-ego eyonzakeleyo kunye noxinzelelo malunga nokuba uza kuhlangabezana njani neemfuno zakhe zonikezelo. Esi sesinye sezizathu zokuba kutheni kufanele ukuba azame ukubuyisa ulwalamano olulahlekileyo- ingekuba uyalithanda okanye ulikhathalele iqabane, kodwa ngenxa yokuba engakwazi ukuhamba ngaphandle kwengqwalaselo nothando.
Ukuqonda iNdima yeNdoda edlala ngokwahlukana
Xa uzama ukushiya iqabane lakho elithandanayo, uya kujongana nengxaki yokuphathwa gadalala kwengqondo, kwaye ngaphandle kokuba uyakwazi ukukuqonda ukuba kuyintoni na, uya kusokola kakhulu ngenxa yako.
I-narcissist iya kuzama ukubeka lonke ityala emnyango kwakho iya kuguqula eyayo inguqulelo yeziganeko zangaphambili kwaye ifune ukukuqinisekisa ngazo. Uya kulahlekisa, akhohlise, kwaye axoxe ngendlela enokuthi angaqinisekisi nje ukuba ulungile, kodwa akwenze uzithandabuze wena kunye neemeko zokwahlukana kwakho.
Kuya kufuneka uhlale womelele ngokwengqondo kwaye ugcine ukubambelela kwakho kwinyani ngawo onke amaxesha. Musa ukuvumela ubuxoki bakhe buzobe umfanekiso owahlukileyo kulowo ufumene amava ngexesha lolwalamano lwakho.
andinakuthetha nomyeni wam ngayo nantoni na
I-narcissist iya kufuna ukukwenza uzive unetyala kwaye ungaxabisekanga kumzamo wokuzenza uzive ungcono. Kunzima nje ukuxhathisa le mizamo, kuya kufuneka uzame ukubona ngamehlo akhe ukuqonda ukuba kutheni ezithetha zonke ezi zinto zibuhlungu. Oku kuya kukunceda ukunciphisa iziphumo zabo kuwe.
Misela Imida Eqinileyo, Enentsingiselo
Xa ufuna ukushiya iqabane lakho elithandanayo ngasemva, ngokuqinisekileyo uya kufumana ukumelana nalo. Njengoko kuthethwe ngentla apha, babona isenzo sakho njengesoyikiso kwi-ego yabo kunye nokuphela konikezelo obanike lona, kwaye baya kuzama ukubuyela kubomi bakho ngandlela thile.
Baza kuguqula isenzo sabo kwakhona kwaye oku kungenza kubonakale ngathi batshintshe ngokwenene, ukuba baguqukile, kwaye ubabonisile indlela. Akukho nanye kwezi zinto eyinyani umtsalane abawubekayo kunye nosizi abazama ukulukhupha kuwe ziyimidlalo nje engakumbi yokufihla okwenyani nangaphantsi.
Ukulwa nale nto, kufuneka usete imida ekhonkrithi ethintela i-narcissist ekubeni ikwazi ukudlala le midlalo kwasekuqaleni.
Usenokuba uthandana naye, nto leyo eyenza ukuba kubenzima ngakumbi, kodwa ngokubeka umgama phakathi kwakho-nokuba kukufanisa-uya kuyinika ingqondo yakho ixesha lokuphinda ucace kwaye ubone izinto njengoko zinjalo.
Ngokufanelekileyo awuyi kuthatha iifowuni zakhe, umbone, okanye unxibelelane naye ngokupheleleyo, kodwa ukuba uziva ngandlela thile ukuba unetyala kuye (ongafanelekanga), okanye kuya kufuneka unxibelelane nezinye izizathu ( njengabantwana), emva koko yenze ngokwemigaqo yakho. Cwangcisa ixesha, indawo kunye nobude bomfowunelwa uze umxelele ukuba uyakuphela xa uqala ukubona indlela yokuziphatha ethobekileyo, amazwi aphakanyisiweyo, okanye intetho etshabhisayo.
Ngcono okwangoku, ukuba kufuneka ubabone nangasiphi na isizathu (yithi wabelana ngokugcina umntwana), zama ukusebenzisa Indlela yeGrey Rock ukunxibelelana nabo ngendlela eya kunciphisa umngcipheko wokuba wenzakale kwakhona.
Ukufunda okubaluleke ngakumbi kwe-narcissist (inqaku liyaqhubeka ngezantsi):
- AbaLwimi beeNarcissist basebenzise ukuGweba kunye nokuKhathaza amaxhoba abo
- Uthando lweBhombu: Umqondiso osisilumkiso kwangethuba wokuba uthandana neNarcissist
- Indlela yokujongana neNarcissist: Ekuphela kwendlela eQinisekisiweyo yokuSebenza
- Uvakalelo lovelwano lwaNarcissists: Iimpikiswano ngokuchasene nazo
- Ngaba Uyaphazama iMacaavellianism yeNarcissism?
- ICoververt Narcissist: Iintloni, iintlobo zoTyikityo ezinokuba ziiNarcissists
Zama ukwakha iNkqubo yokuXhasa eyomeleleyo
Ukuphuncuka kwizikrelemnqa ze-narcissist akunakuze kube lula kwaye kuyakubakho amaxesha apho uya kuziva unikezela kwaye ubuyele kuye. Kungenxa yoko le nto kubalulekile ukuba ufumane abantu abanokukunika amandla owadingayo ukoyisa amaxesha anzima.
Ngelishwa, njengenxalenye yemidlalo yakhe yengqondo, i-narcissist inokuba sele sele inxibelelana nabahlobo kunye nosapho ukubenza baqiniseke ngesenzo sakho esibi kwaye nokuba akenzanga njalo, abantu abaninzi baya kuzabalaza bachonge umntu omchazayo- khumbula banxibe umtsalane ejikeleze abanye.
Kodwa naphi na apho ubafumana khona-kwaye kusenokwenzeka ukuba kufuneka ukhangele abantu abebekwimeko yakho kwaye uyiqonde into ojamelana nayo-qiniseka ukuba ubagcina besondela kwixesha elingenakuphepheka lokuzithandabuza kunye nokunikezela.
Bazise ngemida oyibekileyo kwaye ubaxelele ukuba bakubize xa uthe wavumela le mida ukuba iwele okanye iwe phantsi. Ungafumanisa ukuba unongquzulwano nabaxhasi bakho, kodwa yazise kwangaphambili ukuba uyakuxabisa konke abakwenzela kona.
Zithathele ingqalelo iinkolelo zakho
Ukuba ne-narcissist yeqabane lakho kungangcungcutheka entloko kwaye isiphumo sisenokuba linani leenkolelo ezilinganiselweyo onazo ngawe, ngabo nangolwalamano lwakho.
Umzekelo, unokukholelwa ukuba:
- bakuthanda ngokwenene
- uthando lwakho ngabo lunokoyisa ixesha elinikiweyo
- ubekek 'ityala ngokuphela kobudlelwane
- zikulethela ulonwabo ongenakuze ulufumane kwenye indawo
- izinto zingabuyela umva ngendlela ezazinjalo ekuqaleni
- bazibonile iimpazamo ezindleleni zabo kwaba kanye
- ungazilungisa kwaye luxanduva lwakho ukuhlala kwaye uncede
- baziva ngendlela efanayo nawe
Akukho nanye kwezi zinto iyinyani. Abakwazi ukuthandana, oko kuthetha ukuba uthando lwakho alunakuze loyise. Awunatyala kwaye unokufumana ulonwabo olukhulu kwenye indawo. Izinto azinakuphinda zibuyele kwindlela ebeziyiyo kwaye zihlale zinjalo kuba azibonanga mpazamo kwiindlela zazo. Awunakho ukuzilungisa kwaye ayiloxanduva lwakho, kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo azivakalelwa ngendlela efanayo nawe.
Ziqhelise ukuba nesiNtu nokuqonda
Into ebalulekileyo yokuthetha kakuhle kwi-narcissist ebomini bakho kukuba yiba nobubele kuwe kwinkqubo .
Ngexesha lenu nindawonye, uya kunidiliza kaninzi kwaye akushiye uzithandabuze, ubuhle bakho (ngaphakathi nangaphandle), kunye nokukwazi kwakho ukusebenza ngaphandle kwakhe.
Yazi nje ukuba ufanelekile ngaphezulu. Unamandla afihliweyo ezithunzini kwaye konke ekufuneka ukwenzile kukufunda ukubiza kwakhona.
Kuya kuthatha ixesha elingaphezulu kunangaphambili ukuhla kusonakala kobudlelwane obusempilweni. Kuya kufuneka uzinike inkululeko kwaye wazi ukuba amaxesha anzima sele eza kwaye bazokuvavanya isigqibo sakho.
Kodwa ububele kuwe yinto enamandla ngakumbi xa uziqhelanisa, kokukhona ibamba entliziyweni yakho. Kuya kufuneka uziphathe ngobubele kuye yonke imihla kwaye ibe yinto yendalo kwakhona.
Yakha kwakhona umfanekiso wakho
I-narcissist kubudlelwane bakho iya kuzama ukuwohloka umfanekiso owubambayo kwaye uphinde uyenze kwakhona njengoko ibona kufanelekile ngenjongo yakhe. Ke xa umshiya ngasemva, into oyibonayo esipilini inokwahluka kakhulu kuleyo uyibonileyo ngaphambi kokuba udibane naye.
Inxalenye yokuphilisa kwakho iya kuba kukufumanisa kwakhona ukuba kuthetha ukuthini ukuba kuya kubakho ezinye iziva ezongeziweyo ezibangelwe liqabane lakho langaphambili, kodwa ubuntu bakho bangaphakathi buya kuthi bukhanye kwakhona.
Iposi ehambelana: Ukuqinisekisa ngokunyanga amaxhoba okuxhatshazwa .
Ingathatha unyango lobuchwephesha okanye inokuba yinto nje oyiphumezayo ngoncedo lwabathandekayo bakho, kodwa ukukhetha amaqhekeza akho okwenyani kwaye uwabeke ndawonye kubalulekile ukuba uya kuthintela ubudlelwane obufanayo kwikamva.
Thatha Ngomhla omnye ngexesha
Kuya kuthatha i-narcissist ixesha elithile ukunxiba kwaye ikubumbe ngendlela ebekufuna ngayo, ungothuki xa usiva ukuba kuya kuthatha ixesha elininzi ukubuyela kwinto yakho endala.
Akukho xesha lichanekileyo lokuchacha - liya kuxhomekeka kubunzulu kunye nobukrakra bentlungu kunye nobude bexesha obunyamezele ngalo.
Iposi ehambelana: I-Rollercoaster yokubuyisela kwimeko yesiqhelo kwi-Narcissistic Abuse .
Ekuphela kwento onokuyenza kuku thatha izinto usuku olunye ngexesha . Ukuba unganokomelela kancinci suku ngalunye, ke loloyiso kwi-narcissist kwaye ngelixa ngokungathandabuzekiyo uya kuba nezithintelo, ukugcina umkhondo wendlela ekuphela kwayo kuyindlela eqinisekileyo yomlilo yokufikelela ngokwakho kwakhona.
Kwaye okona kubaluleke kakhulu, vumela iqabane lakho elithandanayo, kunye nobudlelwane enibe ninabo kunye, zikufundise isifundo. Ungaze uvumele isidima sakho kunye namandla akho ukuba ancitshiswe kwakhona-kuya kufuneka ngoku uxhobele ngakumbi kuninzi lokuchonga i-narcissist, ke thintela kuzo zonke iindleko!
Jonga oku ikhosi ekwi-intanethi yenzelwe ukunceda umntu Philisa kuphatho gadalala .
Cofa apha ukuze ufunde ngakumbi.
Eli phepha linamalungu onxibelelwano. Ndifumana ikhomishini encinci ukuba ukhetha ukuthenga nantoni na emva kokucofa kuyo.
