Kwindlela yokuqala yokuthandana, kwaye ngezo veki zokuqala zobudlelwane, kukho imiqondiso ethile yokwazi enokuthi ibonise ukuba omnye umntu uyinkunkqele.
Igama elibanzi elisetyenziselwa ukuchaza iindlela ezahlukeneyo zokuziphatha 'luthando lokuqhushumisa' kwaye ngokuqonda ukuba yintoni, uya kube uxhobele ngcono ukubona irhamncwa ngaphambi kokuba bakutsalele kumgibe wabo.
Uthando lokuqhushumisa ngumzamo wokukhawulezisa ukuzalwa kunye nokukhula kweemvakalelo ngaphakathi kwexhoba ngokudala umoya onzulu wothando kunye nokuqubuda. Yenzelwe ukuba inciphise ukukhuselwa kwendalo komntu ukuze angabuzi umkhombandlela kunye nesantya ubudlelwane esijolise kuso.
iindlela zothando zokumangalisa intombi yakho
Ikwenza oku ngokongeza izinto ze ukudideka, ukukhohlisa, ukuxhomekeka, nomoya we ikamva kumxube.
Ukudideka yenzeka ngenxa yenani elininzi lonxibelelwano olwenzeka phakathi kwesi sibini singayeki ukuthumela imiyalezo, ukufowuna rhoqo, ukunxibelelana kwimithombo yeendaba zentlalo, kunye nomnqweno onamandla wokudibana nomntu ngokobuqu kangangoko kunokwenzeka.
Ingaziva ingoyiki ngokupheleleyo ukuba ekugqibeleni uyifumene ibhombu leyo, eyilelwe ukukholisa ixhoba malunga nolwalamano olwahlukileyo nolukhethekileyo abanalo narcissist.
Ngaphandle kokufumana nantoni na efana nayo ngaphambili, ixhoba liza kuqala ukukholelwa ukuba le yinto ekhethekileyo, into elungileyo, ukuthandana njengokuba ubona kwimiboniso bhanyabhanya-isivunguvungu sovuyo, zombini ziyonwabisa kwaye zoyikisa.
Ukubamba ikhona phantse kuyo yonke into yokuthandana, kodwa kwimeko yothando lokuqhushumisa, idlulela kwelinye inqanaba. Lonke unxibelelwano kufuneka lubandakanye ukuncoma okuninzi ukurhwebesha ixhoba kunye nokubonelela ngento elungileyo engenakuphikiswa enokuziva kunzima ukuyinikezela.
Xa ixhoba lisoloko lisiva ukuba lihle kangakanani, liyamangalisa, kwaye lilungile elinye iqela licinga ukuba linjalo, linika i-ego yabo amandla okwenyani kwaye libangele utshintsho lomzimba kunye neekhemikhali kwingqondo yabo. Oku kusebenza kuphela ukuqinisa umtsalane wabo kwi-narcissist.
Rhoqo ixhoba iya kuba ngumntu ophethwe kukuzithemba okuphantsi (eyona nto ekujolise kuyo umntu obizwa ngokuba yi-narcissist) kwaye ke ukunconywa ngale ndlela kunokuziva kungokwemvelo kubo-nokuba kuyinyani-kodwa baya kubanjwa kakhulu ukuze baqonde injongo yokwenyani kuwo onke amagama anobubele.
Ukuxhomekeka yinto le i-narcissist ihlala izama ukwazisa iiveki nje ezimbalwa kwinkqubo yokuthandana. Ngaphandle kokuba kweli nqanaba lembumba, baya kuqala ukubhengeza ukuba baqiniseke kangakanani ngobuhlobo, ukuba bakonwabele kangakanani ukuchitha ixesha kunye nexhoba, kwaye nokuba banjani ndiwa emathandweni nabo.
ngokwahlukana nesithandwa sakho sexesha elide
Batyhala ixhoba kwiimvakalelo zabo ngelizama ukuba baphindezele ukubhengezwa kothando kunye nothando. Benza oku ngenjongo yokuphambanisa ixhoba malunga nendlela abavakalelwa ngayo.
Baqala ukulidla ngakumbi nangakumbi ixesha lexhoba kunye namandla - ukuthintela ukuba bangaboni abanye abantu rhoqo. Oku kwahlulwa kunokuqatshelwa ngabahlobo kunye nosapho lwexhoba, kodwa kuhlala kukhutshwa njengomnqweno wexhoba ngokwabo.
Ngokulawula ukufikelela eluthandweni nasekuthandweni, i-narcissist inokuzibeka kwindawo ebaluleke kakhulu. Njengonxibelelwano nabanye luyancipha, ekuphela komthombo wobushushu kunye nothando olufumanekayo kwixhoba luvela kwiqabane labo elisandula kufunyanwa.
Okukhona oku kuqhubeka kokukhona, kuya kusiba nzulu phantsi kokupela ukuba bawele ekugqibeleni baqala ukubona i-narcissist njengomntu abangakwaziyo ukuhlala ngaphandle.
Ukufunda okubaluleke ngakumbi kwe-narcissist (inqaku liyaqhubeka ngezantsi):
- AbaLwimi beeNarcissist basebenzise ukuGweba kunye nokuKhathaza amaxhoba abo
- Ungamenzakalisa njani uNarcissist
- Iindlela zokuKopa xa ushiya iqabane laseNarcissistic ngasemva
- Iimaski ezi-6 i-Narcissist inokuthi inxibe (kunye nendlela yokuzibona)
- Ukulahlekiswa ngu-Narcissist ngobuGcisa kubathintela njani ekukuthandeni
- ICoververt Narcissist: Iintloni, iintlobo zoTyikityo ezinokuba ziiNarcissists
Ikamva yindlela unarcissist anqwenela ukubonisa ngayo ubudlelwane. Besebenzisa amabinzana anje ngala 'Andikaze ndizive ngale ndlela ngaye nabani na ngaphambili' kwaye 'Andikholelwa ukuba sifumene omnye nomnye,' bapeyinta umfanekiso ekufanele ukuba ubenjalo.
Ixhoba, iingqondo zabo zigutyungelwe kukudideka, abakwazi kuvavanya ngokwenyani ixabiso kwezi ngxelo. Baphetha ngokubathatha ngokwexabiso lokujongana kwaye oku kuphakamisa kuphela iimvakalelo zabo komnye umntu.
Ekugqibeleni nabo, baqala ukukholelwa ukuba intlanganiso yabo yayiyilishwa. Akunakubanxibelelanisa amava abo akhoyo nakweyiphi na into eyadlulayo- oku kuya kuthetha ukuba luthando, akunjalo? Yintoni enye enokuba yiyo?
Ngezi zixhobo zine, i-narcissist iyakwazi ukupakisha iinyanga ze-bonding zothando kwisithuba seeveki nje. Banokukhawulezisa ngokufanelekileyo inkqubo yesiqhelo yobudlelwane kwaye beqe indawo apho amaxhoba anokuma ngasemva azibuze ukuba ingaba yile nto bayifunayo ngokwenene na.
Endaweni yokuba, ngenxa yendlela umntu onomdla ngayo afika ngayo, kwaye bakholelwa kangakanani ukuba babazi, ixhoba lihamba phambili ekuvavanyeni okuqhelekileyo.
Ngequbuliso, kwaye phantse ngaphaya kolawulo lwexhoba, i-narcissist iphumelele ukuguqula imihla yokuqala ukuba ibe bubuzaza, igazi elipheleleyo, ubudlelwane obunamandla bomzimba kunye neemvakalelo.
Balimfamekisile iqabane labo ngelishwa, indumiso engeyonyani, iimvakalelo ezingazange zabakho, kunye neentsomi zekamva elonwabisayo nelineziqhamo kunye.
Uthando lweBhombu Emva koQhawulo-Mtshato
Eli qhinga alisetyenziswanga kuphela zii-narcissists ngexesha lokuqala lobudlelwane liqhelekile nasemva kokuqhekeka.
ndicinga i-ex yam indifuna back
Ngelixa ukwahlulwa kungabandakanyeka ekuziphatheni okubi kunye ne-vitriolic, xa i-narcissist izimisele ukuvuselela ubudlelwane, baya kuphinda bavule umtsalane kwaye basebenzise uthando lokuqhushumisa uthando ukubuyisa i-ex yabo.
Le ndlela ayizukutshintsha lukhulu-iibhombu zeetekisi, iminxeba, iileta, ii-imeyile, imiyalezo yemidiya yoluntu, kunye nazo naziphi na ezinye iindlela zonxibelelwano abanokucinga ngazo.
Bazokuvuma uthando lwabo olungagungqiyo kwixhoba labo kwaye babange ukuba yonke into eyenzekileyo ayifanele iphike ikamva lobudlelwane-ukuba ibiyinto nje emendweni ekufuneka behambe ngayo.
Ukuthopha, okuya kuthi kube yinto engafane yenzeke ngakumbi njengoko ubudlelwane buqhubela phambili, buza kuvela ebushushwini bayo ukuze uphinde uzame ukubetha i-ego yexhoba.
Konke oku kuyilelwe ukufiphalisa imeko ngokungathandabuzeki kunye nokudideka, ukwenza ukuba ixhoba lisiqwalasele kwakhona isigqibo salo kwaye lithathe iqabane libuyele umva.
Kwintliziyo yaso, uthando lokuqhushumisa sisixhobo esingacacanga esinendlela encinci ye-finesse kunye nobugcisa. Isebenzisa amandla angenangqondo kunye nokuzingisa ukufezekisa iinjongo zayo, kodwa le ikwangumbono wayo ophambili kunokuba lula ukuyibona xa usazi ukuba ujonge ntoni. Ndiyathemba ukuba eli nqaku likunike ulwazi oludingayo lokuchonga imiqondiso kunye nokuzibeka kude narcissist ngaphambi kokuba bakwazi ukukuqhelanisa nolwalamano.
Kuya kufuneka, nangona kunjalo, iqatshelwe ukuba imiqondiso yolu hlobo ayibonisi ukubandakanyeka kwe-narcissist. Uthando lwenene ngamanye amaxesha lunokukhawuleza kwaye lube nomsindo, lunokugcwala izibhengezo zomtsalane kunye nothando, kwaye unokuziva ngathi umiselwe ukuba ube njalo. Umahluko ophambili kukuba uthando lokwenyani lulamacala amabini uziva ulungile kubo bobabini abantu kwaye kukho ukusilela okungafaniyo okukhoyo ngoku.
Ukuba ufuna ukufunda ngakumbi malunga ne-narcissists kunye nobuntu be-narcissistic, cofa apha ukutyelela icandelo lethu elizinikeleyo kwesi sifo apho uya kufumana amanqaku amaninzi aluncedo kunye nokuvula amehlo.
ingaba uyarhoxa kuba uyandithanda
Ngaba wakha wazifumana ukuthandana narcissist? Ngaba uye wakuva ukuthanda ibhombu njengoko kuchaziwe apha ngasentla? Shiya iikhomenti kwaye usazise ngenkcazo yakho.
