Uthando luyinto entle, kodwa i-narcissist ayinakho ukuziva okanye ukuyivakalisa. Kwaye kukho esinye isizathu esilula sokuba kutheni.
Ukuba ungene ngaphakathi kwengqondo ye-narcissist (kwaye ulumke xa usenza njalo), uyakubona ukuba iingcinga zabo zijikeleza phantse zodwa, iimfuno zabo, iminqweno yabo, kunye nendlela abanokufikelela ngayo kwiinjongo zabo.
izinto onokuthetha ngazo nabahlobo xa ukruqukile
Kubo, abanye abantu zizinto nje ezinokusetyenziselwa ukunceda kunye nokuzanelisa. Bakholelwa ukuba baphakamile kunaye wonke umntu kunye nabani na ongomnye, kwaye oku kulahlekiswa kobuqaqawuli sesona sizathu siphambili sokuba kutheni bengakwazi ukuziva lento mna nawe singayibiza ngokuba luthando.
Uthando, ukuthandana okanye ngenye indlela, luqhagamshelo kukuhlangana kwemiphefumlo apho abantu ababini badibana kunye kwaye babelana ngononophelo olunzulu omnye komnye. Ukuze olu nxibelelwano lwenze, amaqela omabini kufuneka abone ngaphaya kwamanqanaba angaphandle omntu kwaye angqinele inyaniso efihlwe ngaphantsi. Kuya kufuneka bamkelane njengobungqina bobuntu babo kwaye, okona kubaluleke kakhulu, njengabalinganayo.
Ukulingana, kule ngqiqo, kuthetha ukufanelekela imbeko efanayo, unyango, kunye nokhathalelo njengesidalwa esiphilayo. Uthando aluthintelwanga kwabanye abantu kunokwenzeka nje ukuba uzive uthando kunye nakumalungu obukumkani bezilwanyana.
I-narcissist, nangona kunjalo, ayijongi abanye ukuba balingane nabo nangayiphi na indlela. Bakholelwa ngokwenyani ukuba bangcono, bafaneleke ngakumbi, kwaye ngakumbi kuzo zonke iinkalo.
Kananjalo, bahlala phezu kweentsika zabo basijonga phofu njengabantu nje abajongela phantsi. Ngaba ayimangalisi into yokuba umntu obhinqileyo angakwazi ukwenza iintlobo zonxibelelwano olusisiseko sothando?
Ukuba abakwazi ukwamkela ukuba omnye umntu angalingana ngokulinganayo kwaye afaneleke njengoko benjalo, banokwenza njani ngendlela ebonisa olu manyano? Bangathanda njani?
Impendulo emfutshane: abanako.
Ithetha ukuthini iNarcissist xa bethetha ngothando?
Ukungakwazi kwabo ukubona nabani na olingana nabo kunokuthintela i-narcissist ekuthandeni, kodwa ayibathinteli ekuvakaliseni 'uthando' lwabo kwabanye. Ewe, ukuvakaliswa kwangaphambi kothando lwabo olungapheliyo lelona qhinga lithandwayo ngabaninzi be-narcissists kwinto eyaziwa njenge thanda ibhombu .
mingaphi le ntombazana ilele ilele ngo-2020
Yintoni engacacanga gca kukuba ngaba ii-narcissists ziyakholelwa ngokwazo ukuba zifumana uthando kweyona mvakalelo yayo inzima kunye neyona iluhlaza. Singazi ukuba le nto baziva lungelilo uthando, kodwa banokucinga, ngokwembono yezengqondo, ukuba kunjalo.
Lo mbuzo, ngelixa unomdla, ubukhulu becala awungeni ndawo. Abaziva luthando, kodwa enye into ngokupheleleyo.
Impazamo abayenzayo iyabhidanisa ubunzulu, imvakalelo yothando nothwaphilizo imeko yengqondo yentabatheko . Ngokumalunga nentsebenziswano yothando, uninzi lwabantu luya kudlula kwisigaba sokuthabatheka ngexesha apho umnqweno wabo kunqabile ukuba ushenxise kude nengqondo yabo. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba ubudlelwane buyagcinwa, oku kukhula kuqhagamshelo lothando oluchazwe apha ngasentla.
I-narcissist, nangona kunjalo, iya kubambeka kwinqanaba lokuthabatheka ngonaphakade. Baza kuba phantse bathande ukujikeleza kwaye babheke kwiqabane labo, bazisebenzise njengomthombo wonikezelo lwe-narcissistic.
Ukubonelelwa nge-narcissistic ngokusisiseko kwehla kwixhoba-eyona nto bayithandayo - ukubonelela nge-narcissist ngononophelo abalunqwenela ngaphezulu kwayo yonke enye into. Uninzi lwee-narcissists, ngaphandle kwe uhlobo olufihlakeleyo ngakumbi , baya kufumana umtsalane wokubekwa esweni ngokungenakuphikiswa, kwaye ingqwalaselo yalo naluphi na uhlobo iya kuyanelisa iminqweno yabo…
… Okwexeshana.
Ukufunda okubalulekileyo kwe-narcissist (inqaku liyaqhubeka apha ngezantsi):
indlela yokuxelela ukuba umfazi otshatileyo uya kukopela
- Indlela yokujongana neNarcissist: Ekuphela kwendlela eQinisekisiweyo yokuSebenza
- Iindlela zokuKopa xa ushiya iqabane laseNarcissistic ngasemva
- AbaLwimi beeNarcissist basebenzise ukuGweba kunye nokuKhathaza amaxhoba abo
- Ukuqinisekisa ngokunyanga amaxhoba okuxhatshazwa
- Ngaba Uyaphazama iMachiavellianism yeNarcissism?
- Iimaski ezi-6 i-Narcissist inokuthi inxibe (kunye nendlela yokuzibona)
Uyabona, i-narcissist ityisa le ngqwalaselo kunye namandla ayizisayo ukulungiselela ukomeleza inkolelo abanayo ngokwabo njengobalaseleyo. Njengalo naluphi na uhlobo lokutya, ukutya okuqhelekileyo kuyafuneka ukuze uhlale uhluthi.
Ke, xa i-narcissist ithatha iqabane, yenza njalo ikakhulu ukuze kuqinisekiswe ngonikezelo oluthembekileyo noluthe rhoqo. Kwangokunjalo, xa bekhetha umntu abasebenza naye, umhlobo, okanye ilungu losapho njengexhoba, bakwanjalo Ukufuna ingqalelo efanayo .
Olu nikezelo lwe-narcissistic, kunye nentabatheko ekhokelela kuyo, inokujongwa njengendawo yabo yothando. I-narcissist iya kuyinqwenela ngokungathi sonke sinqwenela ukuthandwa. Baza kuziva bonelisekile xa beyifumene, baya kuba namandla ngayo, kwaye bayakucaphukela ukuyeka.
Banokucinga ukuba le nto baziva luthando, kodwa xa ujonga kufutshane, ifana nenye into ngakumbi kwimigca yokuxhomekeka. Ewe, ubudlelwane be-narcissistic buhlala bunokuphela njengoko abaxhomekeke kunye apho i-narcissist ixhomekeke kwelinye iqela ukuba liqwalaselwe kwaye liqubude, ngelixa bona, ngokubuyela kubo, bexhomekeke kwi-narcissist ukubaxelela indlela yokuphila (rhoqo ngenxa yokutshatyalaliswa kwesazisi sabo emva kweenyanga okanye iminyaka yokuxhatshazwa kwengqondo).
Ezi ntlobo zobudlelwane zinokubonakala ngathi zinothando ngaphezulu, kodwa le ayisiyiyo eyona nto ifihlakeleyo efihla inyani elele ngezantsi. Uthando lunokuba kwisigama somlomo se-narcissist, kodwa baswele ukuqonda kokuchazwa kwayo okuyinyani. Benza impazamo kwintabatheko yabo, isidingo sabo sonikezelo lwe-narcissistic, kunye nolwaneliseko abaziva xa belufumana, ngothando.
Ngobuqhetseba bobuqaqawuli inkolelo yabo yokwenene yokuba zizidalwa eziphakamileyo, i-narcissist iphulukana namandla abo okwenza unxibelelwano olunentsingiselo nabanye abantu. I-egos yabo ayizukuzivumela ukuba yehliselwe kwinqanaba lokulingana naye nabani na, kwaye ngenxa yesi sizathu, intlantsi yothando lokwenene ilahleka ngonaphakade kulo naluphi na ulwalamano abayinxalenye yalo.
Nokuba bayakholelwa ukuba bakwimeko yothando lokwenene, kukhuselekile ukuba akukho budlelwane balo naluphina uhlobo olusekwe kolu lucebileyo, olona luhlaza, nolona lufunwa kakhulu emva kokuziva.
