Xa sikhathalele omnye umntu, kuyindalo ukubonisa isimilo esithile kunye namava athile. Kukho, nangona kunjalo, kuza inqanaba apho indlela esenza ngayo kunye nokucinga kwethu iba mpilweni kancinci. Enye indlela yokubonisa koku kukuxhomekeka kwikhowudi.
Ngelishwa, kukho umba ngokuqonda okuqhelekileyo kwale mbono kwaye kukhokelele ekubeni abantu bachazwe okanye bafunyaniswe njengabaxhomekekileyo abangaphaya komntu okhathalayo.
Oko eli nqaku liya kuzama ukukwenza, ke, kukuqaqambisa umahluko phakathi komntu 'ongumkhathaleli' (igama esiza kulisebenzisa kulo lonke ukuchaza umntu onenkathalo ngokwesiqhelo) kunye nomntu onokuthi abhalwe ngokusemthethweni njenge-codependent .
I-Crutch Yokunceda Abanye
Xa umntu esetyenziswa kukuxhomekeka kwikhowudi, bayazichaza ngoncedo abalunika elinye iqela kubudlelwane. Inkathalo abayinikezelayo yiyo enika ubomi babo injongo kunye nentsingiselo bayisusa kwaye bayasokola ukusebenza ngokuzimeleyo.
Ngandlel 'ithile, baxhomekeke komnye umntu nakwindima yabo njengomkhathaleli yenza ikratshi ekusekwe kubukho babo.
Umgcini, kwelinye icala, wenza ukhetho olusengqiqweni xa enceda umntu. Akukho mfuneko yokuba bancede abanye, kodwa benza njalo kuba bekubona kuyinto elungileyo abanokuyenza. Abantu abanje banokuchazwa njengabakhathalelayo, kodwa abayivumeli le nto ukuba ibe sisifo sabo (isizathu sokuba).
Isidingo sokuziva sifuneka
Abantu abaxhomekekileyo babeka ugxininiso olukhulu ekuncedeni omnye umntu kuba banomnqweno ongazinzisiyo wokuziva befuneka. Bahlala benze impazamo yokuxhomekeka komnye umntu kubo njenge ukuzibophelela, ubudlelwane obunothando (nangona inokwenzeka kubuhlobo nakwiseto yosapho nayo).
Ayinamsebenzi kubo ukuba ukwabelana ngoxanduva ngokupheleleyo icala elinye okanye uthelelwano lusekwe kwimijikelo yoxinzelelo kunye nohlangulo, bakujonga konke njengempilo, ubudlelwane obusondeleyo.
Xa umntu okhathalelayo esenza ubudlelwane, benza njalo ngenxa yezizathu ezahlukeneyo. Bangathanda ukuziva bethandwa kwaye befunwa ukuba bangobani, kodwa bayakuhlonipha ukuzimela komnye umntu. Bayayiqonda into yokuba ngelixa zininzi izibonelelo zokwabelana ngobomi kunye nomntu, banako ukusinda ngokwabo ukuba bekunyanzelekile.
Ukwahlukana kweAngst
Ngobuninzi besazisi esiboshwe kulwalamano abanalo nomnye, umntu oxhomekekileyo ufumanisa nakuphi na ukwahlukana okude kubo kunganyamezeleki. Akukho mntu apho wokukhonza, baqala ukuziva belambatha ngokungathi inxenye yabo ithathiwe.
Ngokwendalo abantu abakhathalayo bayakwazi ukuzimela xa umntu omthandayo engekho. Ewe baya kubakhumbula, kodwa abayikuyivumela ichaphazele ukusebenza kobomi babo nangayiphi na indlela ephambili. Baza kuba nakho ukujongana nokulunga, nokuba kukude kangakanani, kuba bazikhusele ngokwaneleyo.
Ukusilela kwemida
Abo bathambekele ekuziphatheni okuxhomekekileyo bezabalazela ukugcina imida phakathi kwabo kunye nelinye iqela. Uluvo lokuba bangabantu bolunye uhlanga kubo kwaye bakhetha ukucinga ngokwendibaniselwano.
UJohn cena uqinisekile ngaleya gif
Isiphumo kukuba abanakuqonda ukuba yeyiphi into yabo kwaye yintoni engeyiyo. Bayeka iimvakalelo zomnye umntu zilawule ezabo, bayabalwela amadabi abo, kwaye bayayeka ubunini bempahla yabo, imali, kwanemizimba yabo.
Abakhathaleli bagcina umahluko ngokwengqondo phakathi kwabo nabanye. Bayakwazi setha imida yobuqu ecacileyo neqinileyo ezigcina isimilo kunye nemikhwa yazo eyahlukileyo. Banokuphenjelelwa ngabantu besithathu, kodwa ungaze uvumele ukuzithemba kwabo kudibane nomnye.
Ndiziva Ndinoxanduva Kwabanye
Esinye isiphumo semida engekhoyo kukuba abaxhomekeki baziva benoxanduva lwezenzo zomnye umntu. Babona indlela yokuziphatha okunje ngokwandiswa kwabo kunye namava okuba netyala xa kuchasene nendlela eyamkelekileyo.
Esi sesinye sezizathu zokuba bawalinde ezandleni nasezinyaweni ngokunika yonke into eyenzelwa omnye umntu, bayaziphepha iimeko ezininzi ezinokuthi zijongwe njengokukhanya.
Ngokuchaseneyo, umnakekeli uyazi ukuba ekugqibeleni sinoxanduva lobomi bethu kwaye akasayi kufuna ukukhusela isimilo esingavumelaniyo naso, nokuba bangamthanda kangakanani umenzi wobubi. Banokuzisola ngento eyenziwe ngabanye abantu, kodwa abazukuziva benetyala.
Ukuthatha inxaxheba kwezona mfuno zilungileyo
Abantu abaxhomekekileyo bangathanda ukucinga ukuba banceda omnye umntu ngokubasindisa kubo, kodwa kuhlala kunjalo bevumela ukuqhubeka kokuziphatha okungafunekiyo.
Nokuba kukugcina umntu ekwimpilo enkenenkene yomzimba okanye yengqondo, ekhuthaza ukungaphumeleli kakuhle, okanye exhasa ukuba likhoboka labo, iikhowudi azenzi zinto zomnye umntu. Ngokwenyani benza oko kulungileyo kubo ngokugcina ubudlelwane kwaye ke intsingiselo abayithathayo kuyo.
Abakhathaleli bathatha indlela eyahlukileyo kuba banako - kwaye bazimisele ngakumbi - ukubona iingxaki elinye iqela elijamelene nalo. Abazisebenzeli ngokwabo, kodwa endaweni yomntu odinga, kwaye uhlala efuna, ukuphucula imeko yabo.
Ukubeka omnye umntu kuqala
Ngendlela ephikisayo kancinane, abaxhomekeke kwikhowudi bakwanomdla wokubeka iimfuno zomnye umntu kuqala kulo naluphi na ulwalamano. Baza kuncama ukonwaba kwabo, ixesha labo, kunye nentlalo-ntle yabo ukuba oko kuthetha ukuba banokunika ukoneliseka.
Umahluko obalulekileyo phakathi kwale ngongoma kunye neyokugqibela kukuba baya kunika kwaye banike ixesha elide ngokungafuneki ukuba bancame ubudlelwane ngokupheleleyo. Kwaye kanye nenqaku elidlulileyo, abayi kuba nexhala kakhulu ukuba eneneni banokuthintela ukonwaba okanye impilo yomnye umntu yexesha elide.
Umntu okhathalayo uya kukulungela ukuzincama ukuze ancede omnye, kodwa kuya kubakho umda kwinto abaya kuyenza. Babeka ixabiso eliphezulu kakhulu kwiimfuno zabo kunye neminqweno yokuyibeka ecaleni ngokupheleleyo.
Unokuthanda (inqaku liyaqhubeka ngezantsi):
- Iindlela ezili-10 zokuyeka ukuxhomekeka kubudlelwane bakho
- Iimpawu ezisixhenxe zokuba umntu wakho uphethwe sisifo sikaPeter Pan
- Unokuba kanjani noBudlelwane obuPhumeleleyo neManolescent
- Ngaba unokuLungisa ubudlelwane obuNye okanye ngaba kufuneka ubuphelise?
- Iimpawu ezi-6 eziNkulu zeQabane lakho likubona njengokhetho, hayi eyona nto iphambili
- Indlela yokunceda abanye ngeyure yabo yokuswela
Ubuxoki bokuxhomekeka
Ewe kunjalo, baninzi abantu abathembele kwabanye kunonophelo lwabo lwemihla ngemihla, kodwa indlela yokuziphatha kwengqondo exhomekeke ekunikezeleni le mfuno naxa ingekhoyo ekuqaleni.
Banokubona umntu owonele ngokwaneleyo ukuba ufuna uncedo lwabo kuba ilungele umnqweno wabo ukubabonelela. Ekugqibeleni omnye umntu unokuxhomekeka kuye ngenani lezinto ezininzi ebeziza kuzenza ngaphambili.
Umkhathaleli ubona izinto ngokwahlukileyo. Baza kufuna ukunceda abantu bagcine ukuzimela kangangoko banakho, kwananjengoko amandla abo esiwa phantsi. Baya kuba luncedo xa bebizwa, kodwa abayi kulufaka kuncedo lwabo kwabanye abangalucelanga.
Ukujongana Nokulahlwa
Xa umntu onobuntu obuxhomekeke ekunikezelweni koncedo akwamkelwa, okanye xa kungekho mntu uzayo, baziva bebuhlungu kakhulu.
Oku kubuyela kwiimfuno zabo zokufuneka kunye nokuphendula kwabo xa kungekho. Ngaphandle koxabiso kwabanye, baziva bengento yanto kwaye belahlekile kuba yiyo yonke le nto ibazisela uxolo.
Umkhathaleli akazukungonwabi xa kufuneka iinzame zabo ziqatshelwe banokuba nombulelo kuwo nawuphi na umbulelo oza kubo, kodwa ikakhulu banikezela ngomnqweno wabo wokwenza okulungileyo.
Uqwalaselo
Esona siseko sobomi bekhowudi kukudibana kwabo nomnye umntu kwaye oku kukhokelela kwi inqanaba elingenampilo lokuncamathiselwa nomdla kubo. Bafikelela kwinqanaba apho phantse zonke iingcinga zokuvuka zibandakanya elinye iqela.
Bayazibuza ukuba bacinga ntoni, ukuba baziva njani, ngelixa bezama ukubona kwangaphambili yonke iminqweno nabafuna. Baxhomekeke kakhulu kubo ngokwasemphefumlweni kwaye banexhala lokulahleka kwabo kangangokuba bathi phithi ngokwenene.
Umntu okhathalelayo unokufumana uxinzelelo kunye nokungazithembi, kodwa oku kuqheleke ngokupheleleyo ngelixa kuhlala kungabalulekanga. Baye babhetele ekunxibelelaneni ezi mvakalelo kwiqabane labo elinceda ukusombulula ingxaki ngaphambi kokuba ikhule ezingqondweni zabo.
Ukungakwazi ukuKhululeka
Nokuba ubudlelwane bufikelela kwinqanaba apho omabini amaqela engonwabanga, umntu oxhomekekileyo uya kusokola ukuphelisa izinto ngenxa yetyala elinzima abanokuziva ngalo. Ngapha koko, ngaphandle kokuba banokutshintsha ngokukhawuleza elinye iqela ngomntu omtsha oxhomekeke kuye, baya kunyanzelwa ukuba bajongane nexesha lodwa elifana nobusuku bokuphila kubo.
Umntu onenkathalo uyakuqonda ukuba, nokuba kungakhokelela kwintlungu enkulu yethutyana, ngamanye amaxesha kungcono ukuhamba ngeendlela ezahlukileyo ukuze ufumane ulonwabo nolwaneliseko olungapheliyo. Abayi kuzingca kangangoba babambelele kubudlelwane nje njengenye indlela yokuba bodwa.
Imivuzo yokuNika amandla
Mhlawumbi umahluko obalulekileyo phakathi kwabaxhomekeki kunye nabakhathaleli-lowo uxhasa konke oku kungentla-kule nto umntu ngamnye ayithathayo ekuncedeni omnye umntu.
Ukuxhomekeka kwikhowudi kuvuzwa ngokuziphatha kwabo okwenza ukuba kubekho ubudlelwane obuzinzileyo obunika intsingiselo kunye nenjongo ebomini babo. Izizathu zabo zokuba ngumkhathaleli ikakhulu zizinto zokuzingca kwindalo, bevalela omnye umntu ebukhobokeni nokuba ayiyiyo eyona nto ibalungeleyo.
Umntu onenkathalo yokwenyani unokuziva eneemvakalelo ezilungileyo xa enika uncedo kwabanye, kodwa baya kuba nakho ukubanceda nokuba banokubandezeleka ngandlela ithile ngenxa yalo. Babonisa ukungazingci okwenyani kwaye bafuna kuphela ukukhuthaza intlalontle yomnye umntu.
Ngaba uyayiqonda ngoku ukuba kuthetha ntoni ukukhathalela umntu xa kuthelekiswa nokuxhomekeka kubo? Ngaba ikuncedile ukuba uzazise njengenye okanye enye? Shiya iikhomenti ezingezantsi kunye neengcinga zakho kunye neemvakalelo zakho.
rusev kunye lana ubomi bokwenyani
Ngaba awuqinisekanga ukuba ujongana njani nokuxhomekeka kwakho kwikhowudi? Thetha kwi-Intanethi kwingcali yobudlelwane kwi-Relationship Hero enokukunceda ufumane izinto. Ngokulula.
Eli phepha linamalungu onxibelelwano. Ndifumana ikhomishini encinci ukuba ukhetha ukuthenga nantoni na emva kokucofa kuyo.
