Inye kuphela Inkqubo yokubuyisa gadalala uyakuze ufune.
Cofa apha ukuze ufunde ngakumbi.
Kukho i-narcissist ebomini bakho. Ngelishwa kwaye ngokungathandabuzekiyo unqwenela ukuba bekungenjalo, kodwa kunjalo.
Kukho i-narcissist ebomini bakho kwaye unokukhetha ngaphandle kokunxibelelana nabo.
- Ngaba ugwetyelwe ukuhlala bonke ubomi bakho njengepawuthi kumdlalo wabo ongapheliyo?
- Ngaba kufuneka unyamezele ukuxhatshazwa kwabo?
- Ngaba baya kuhlala bekubambile?
Hayi. Ngokuqinisekileyo hayi.
I-narcissist inokuba sempilweni yakho,kodwa AKUFUNI ukuba zibekho entlokweni yakho!
Le ndlela ingezantsi ifuna ukuziqhelanisa kwaye ngekhe uyifumane okokuqala, kodwa, xa isetyenziswa ngokungaguquguqukiyo, iya kubeka umgama (ubukhulu becala ngokweemvakalelo, kodwa ngokwasemzimbeni ukuya kwinqanaba elithile) phakathi kwakho nomxhaphazi lowo wakho.
Yaziwa njenge Indlela yeGrey Rock .
Umbono osisiseko kukuba uqulethe lonke ugcino kunye nolonwabo lwalo kanye: ilitye elingwevu.
Uhlobo lwerwala ongayi kujonga kabini kulo. Uhlobo lwerwala oluhlala lungahoywanga kwaye lungaqwalaselwa njengoko uqhubeka.
Ibinzana elithi 'Indlela yeGrey Rock' yaqalwa yenziwa ngu-blogger Skylar kweli nqaku kwiwebhusayithi yakhe: https://180rule.com/the-gray-rock-method-of-dealing-with-psychopaths/ emva kwencoko emnandi awayenayo nomntu angamaziyo ngokupheleleyo. Ngokuqinisekileyo kuya kufuneka ulifunde eli nqaku emva kokuba ugqibile apha.
Ngubani omele asebenzise indlela yeGrey Rock?
Eyona ndlela isebenzayo jongana nomnxibelelanisi kukuya kunxibelelana.
Zisike ngokulungileyo kwaye uthintele naluphi na uhlobo lokunxibelelana nantoni na. Guqula inombolo yakho, i-imeyile, ubathintele kumajelo asekuhlaleni, kwaye uhambe ekhaya ukuba kunyanzelekile.
Ngelishwa, izinto azisoloko zilula.
Kukho amaxesha apho ukusika i-narcissist ngaphandle ngokupheleleyo ayisebenzi.
Ukuba ufumanisa nakweyiphi na kwezi zinto zilandelayo, iGrey Rock inokuba yeyona ndlela ilungileyo:
- unomntwana okanye abantwana abane-narcissistic ex
- unomlingane osebenza narcissist okanye umphathi emsebenzini oziva ungafuni okanye ongakwaziyo ukuwushiya lo mzuzu ngeli xesha (nangona kufanelekile ukuba uyenze ibe yinjongo yakho yexesha elide ukufumana umsebenzi kwinkampani okanye kwisebe elahlukileyo)
- Unabazali be-narcissist okanye amalungu osapho oya kuthi uwabone ngamanye amaxesha kwiminyhadala yosapho
Kutheni ukusebenza eGrey Rock kusebenza?
I-narcissist yakho ngumdlali weqonga unxiba iimaski ezininzi kwaye udlala iindima ezininzi. Abantu ebomini babo - kubandakanya nani-ngabaxhasi abazixhasayo, isepha opera yabo.
Kuyinxalenye yothando, yinxalenye yomdlalo weqonga, yinxalenye yovuyo, yinxalenye yamahlaya (ihlaya lihlala likuwe), kwaye liyinxalenye yokoyikeka (apho bayirhorho eyoyikisayo kwaye ulixhoba labo elothusayo).
Yonke into ekule ndawo yesepha opera kufuneka igcine i-narcissist inomdla kwaye iyazibandakanya. Baza kubhala amabali amabali kwaye babakhokele abanye abadlali ngokuqhatha nokunyanzelisa ukuze bonwabe.
Baza kuqinisekisa ukuba bona-inkwenkwezi yomboniso-bafumana ulungiso lwabo lokuqwalaselwa, ukuhlonishwa, okanye indumiso evela kwabanye abalinganiswa.
Nokuba udlala indima enkulu njengeqabane okanye ilungu losapho, okanye indawo encinci enjengokuqhelana maxa wambi, ukusebenzisa indlela yeGrey Rock yeyona ndlela isebenzayo yokuba ubhalwe kuludwe ngokupheleleyo.
Khawufane ucinge ubukele umboniso womboniso okanye umboniso bhanyabhanya apho umlinganiswa omnye anganiki nto ngendlela yeemvakalelo okanye incoko enomdla. Inokuba yindinisa njani loo nto? Ungatshintshela kwenye into, akunjalo?
Ewe, i-narcissist iyafana.
Ukuba izigcawu zakho kunye azinakubabonelela ngenqanaba lokonwaba, baya kunyanzelwa ukuba bajonge kwenye indawo.
Ngokuhlala ngokweemvakalelo ungaphenduli kwisithiyelo se-narcissist kunye nokukhuthaza, unciphisa ukubaluleka kwakho emehlweni abo.
Bafuna ukusebenza okuphumelele u-Oscar ngelixa izigcawu zakho ziphelela kwigumbi lokusika.
Okokugqibela, baya kuziva benesidingo sokukuguqula ungabi yinto engaphaya komntu ongaphezulu ongena ngaphakathi nangaphandle angathethi kwaphela.
Basenokuzama ukuzibandakanya nawe amaxesha ngamaxesha ukuze babone ukuba unayo na into efunekayo ukuze ube yenye yeenkwenkwezi zabo kwakhona, kodwa ukuba uhlala uhlala uyakruqula kwaye unamatye, awusoze uyenze kudlulileyo kwinqanaba lokuphicothwa.
Le yenye yeendlela zokumisa umxholo wokubonelela ngoncedo. Ukucacisa kwinqaku eliqhagamshelwe apha ngasentla:
… Wena kunye nengqwalaselo oyinikezelayo uyakhobokisa kufuneka bafumane 'ukulungisa' amaxesha ngamaxesha ukuze banelise ukuzithemba kwabo. […] Ukuba uyaqhubeka ukubanika into abayifunayo, baya kuqhubeka nokukuthoba kwiimfuno neminqweno yabo.
Ukunxibelelanisa oku nokuthelekiswa kwethu kwesepha opera: i-narcissist ifuna ukuba ube ngumlinganiswa ozisa idrama kunye nemincili ebomini babo, kwaye ukuba uyaqhubeka nokudlala le ndima, baya kuqhubeka bakubhalela iindatshana zamabali.
Uhamba njani Grey Rock?
Kukho intetho yakudala efanelekileyo apha: awukwazi ukufumana igazi elityeni.
Kule meko, ulilitye (okanye iliwa) kwaye igazi lilo nakuphi na ukuziphatha okunika i-narcissist unikezelo abalulangazelelayo.
Gcina incoko ubuncinci.Ukuba akufuneki uthethe nabo, musa.
Hlala emotweni xa ushiya abantwana bakho endlwini yabo. Hlala kwelinye icala letafile kwizidlo zosapho. Cela ukushenxisa idesika kude nabo emsebenzini. Kuphephe ukunxibelelana nabo kangangoko kunokwenzeka.
Kodwa musa ukwenza into enkulu ngayo kuba oku kuya kubanika iimbumbulu.
Xa kufuneka uthethe nabo, bambelela kwizifundo ezidinisayo ezifana nemozulu. Ukuba babuza imibuzo, nika iimpendulo ezimfutshane, ezingakhuthazi ezingenakho ukukhokelela kwincoko engaphezulu.
Babuza, 'unjani?' kwaye uphendula 'kulungile, enkosi.'
Bayabuza, 'wenze ntoni ngempelaveki?' kwaye uphendula 'Ndihlambe impahla ndaza ndacheba ingca.'
Ukuba baphendula ngokuthi 'uyadika,' vele unqwale kwaye uncume ngokuvuma (akufuneki bazi ukuba awuvumelani ngentliziyo iphela nale ngxelo).
Ewe elula nohayi iya kwanela apho kufanelekileyo, kodwa ngamanye amaxesha awuyi kufuna ukuzibophelela kwimpendulo ukuba oko kuthetha ukunika uluvo. Kwezi meko 'hmmmm' engazibopheleli, 'mhlawumbi,' okanye 'siza kubona' iyakwenza.
Akunakuze Thetha ngobomi bakho, nkqu neenkcukacha ezincinci.
Baya kubamba iinzipho zabo nakweliphi na iqhekeza lolwazi osinike lona kwaye balisebenzise ukuzama ukuqhubela phambili incoko kunye nokukhupha ubonelelo ngeziyobisi kuwe.
Bafuna ukwazi ukuba uxabise ntoni ebomini bakho ngoku. Banomona ngento onayo (nokuba yintoni), kwaye ukuba abanako, baya kufuna ukuyithatha kuwe ngandlela thile.
Musa ukubanika ithuba lokuhlala beyimfihlo ngobomi bakho obutsha ngaphandle kwabo.
Akunakuze baxelele ukuba uqhuba kakuhle kangakanani (kangangoko kunokuba kukukholisa ukuba uthambise iimpumlo kuwo).
Khumbula, ziqhutywa zii-egos zazo, kwaye naluphi na uluvo lokuba ungcono ngaphandle kwabo okanye ukuba ngandlel 'ithile bangaphantsi kuwe ziya kubonwa njengokucekisa kwabo.
Bazibona njengabaphezulu kwabo bonke abantu kuyo yonke into, kwaye ukuba ucinga ukuba wenza ngcono kunabo, kuya kubacaphukisa.
Suku babuze imibuzo.
Nokuba kubonakala ngathi yintetho encinci engenabungozi, kwakamsinya nje ukuba ubandakanyeke nabo kwaye ubabuze ngobomi babo, ibanika ukukhanya okuluhlaza ukuba bashenxise uluhlu lwezinto abaziphumezileyo (nokuba ziyinyani okanye ziyilelwe) ukukujongela phantsi.
Okanye basenokuduma malunga nomntu omaziyo ukuze babone ukuba uya kusabela nangayiphi na indlela. Musa ukubanika iqonga. Musa ukuhambela kwimfuno yabo yokuqwalaselwa.
Zama ukunamathela iinyani naphi na apho kunokwenzeka.
Ubusuku babazali bungo-7 ngokuhlwa ngoLwesithathu. Ugqirha ubanike (unyana / intombi yakho) amayeza okubulala iintsholongwane ukuba athabathe zonke iiyure ezisi-8. Sinabaxhasi abatsha aba-5 kule nyanga. Iingxelo eziza kwenziwa ngumnxibelelanisi we-narcissist kuba azikho kutoliko. Into yokugqibela ofuna ukuyenza kukungena kwingxoxo-mpikiswano nabo.
Kuphephe ukukhankanywa kwexesha elidlulileyo kuzo zonke iindleko.
Awufuni ukuphinda utyele la maxesha amnyama nokuba ayayenza. Ngokuzisa imbali yakho, ubeka emngciphekweni wokuphinda ubekhona amanxeba amadala kunye neengxabano. Uyakujongana nomdlalo osolwayo ongasoze ube ngumdlalo onokuwuphumelela.
Ukuba oku kunokwenzeka, elinye iqhinga elinokunceda ekusasazeni imeko kukwamkela esidlangalaleni uxanduva kwiingxaki enijongene nazo (nokuba awuyamkeli ngaphakathi).
Naliphi na ilinge lokwabela abanye ityala kubo liya kudibana nokukhanyela, ukuzikhusela kunye nokuhlaselwa kwakho.
Indlela yeGrey Rock ayisoloko kulula, kodwa ihlala isebenza. Unokufuna ukubangxolisa ngamanye amaxesha, kodwa ngokuluma ulwimi lwakho kwaye ungaqhwanyazi xa bezama ukufumana impendulo, uya kubalambisa yidrama abayondlayo.
Endaweni yokuhamba ngaphandle kwayo (ekungekho nto kubo), i-narcissist iya kujonga kwenye indawo umthombo omtsha wonikezelo.
Olunye ufundo olufanelekileyo lwe-narcissist (inqaku liyaqhubeka apha ngezantsi):
- AbaLwimi beeNarcissist basebenzise ukuGweba kunye nokuKhathaza amaxhoba abo
- Iimpawu ze-6 oSebenza ngeNarcissist eModareyitha (kodwa ke uyiNarcissist)
- ICoververt Narcissist: Iintloni, iintlobo zoTyikityo ezinokuba ziiNarcissists
- Ukuqinisekisa ngokunyanga amaxhoba okuxhatshazwa
- Ungamenzakalisa njani uNarcissist
- Iindlela zokuKopa xa ushiya iqabane laseNarcissistic ngasemva
Ukuhamba ngeGrey Rock ekubonakaleni
Ukongeza kunxibelelwano lwakho ne-narcissist, unokuzama ukulinganisa ilitye elingwevu ngokwendlela obonakala ngayo kwaye zeziphi iinxalenye zobomi bakho ezibonakala kubo.
Ukuba i-narcissist liqabane langaphambili, zama ukubonakala ngokucacileyo kangangoko xa kufuneka ubabone. AmaNarcissist aneliso elingenamsebenzi, ke ngokwenza ukuba ungathandeki ngokwasemzimbeni, uya kubhabha phantsi kwe-radar ngokulula.
Ukuba banika izimvo ngendlela okhangeleka kakubi ngayo, mayiye kwindlebe enye iphume kwenye. Bazama ukufumana impendulo kuwe, kodwa ukuba uvele ushukume ngokungathi awukhathali, baya kukholelwa ukuba awuyiyo loo nto babecinga ukuba uyiyo.
Yenza iiprofayili ezintsha zentlalo ukuba unako, kodwa qaphela ukuba basenokuphinda bakufumane kwakhona. Ke tshintsha iisetingi zakho zabucala ukuze unqande into abanokuyibona kwaye usebenzise umfanekiso weprofayile ocacileyo (okanye enye engengobobuso bakho) ukuze bakufumane kuyindinisa ukuzama nokulala.
Gwema ukugqithisa nangaluphi na uhlobo abanokukubona. Yiya kwimodeli esisiseko yemoto, thintela ubucwebe, thenga indlu encinci (ukuba kungafuneka ba tyelele). Ungabavumeli babone nantoni na enokubenza bacinge ukuba wenza kakuhle ngokwakho (ngenxa yezizathu ezichazwe apha ngasentla).
Kungabonakala ngathi uthintela ubomi bakho ukuba bube yinzuzo kubo, kwaye ngandlela thile oku kuyinyani, kodwa khumbula ukuba akukho moto okanye ndlu okanye enye into ebumnandi eya kukwenza wonwabe ekuhambeni kwexesha, ngakumbi ukuba ibeka i-narcissist ungenayo ukhetho kodwa ukujongana.
Ukuba nobomi obukhululekileyo kubo kangangoko kuya kukuzisela olona xolo nolonwabo, ke yenza konke okusemandleni ukwenza oku kube yinyani.
Yintoni onokuyilindela kwi-Narcissist
Xa usebenzisa iGrey Rock Method kunye ne-narcissist, unokulindela ukuba basabele kuyo.
Basenokungayazi ncam into oyenzayo(kwaye AKUFANELE ubaxelele ukuba uthatha le ndlela), kodwa baya kubona utshintsho kwindlela oziphethe ngayo kubo.
Impendulo enye eqhelekileyo ngumsindo kuba yinto abangathandabuzekiyo ukuba basebenzise amaxesha amaninzi ngokuchasene nawe kwixa elidlulileyo. Banokukhwaza kwaye banokwenza ngendlela eyoyikisayo, kodwa kuya kufuneka uzame ukuhlala upholile, uzolile, kwaye uzolile ujongene nomsindo.
Ngenye indlela, banokukujongela phantsi ngenxa yokuba uthe cwaka okanye unikezela kancinci ngendlela yokuphendula. Yindlela yeklasi efana nomntwana kumntu ongamameliyo ukubabiza ngamagama, baxelele ukuba bayabhanxa, okanye bahleke ebusweni babo nantoni na ukuze bafumane impendulo.
Ngelishwa, i-narcissist ayinazintloni xa kuziwa ekusebenziseni abanye ngokuchasene nawe. Kwiinzame zokukutsalela ngasemva kwimpikiswano, banokubandakanya abantwana bakho, abahlobo bakho, usapho lwakho, okanye abantu osebenza nabo.
Baya kuxoka benze amabali ngawe, bazame ukwenza abanye ukuba bakuchase, benze abanye ukuba bakuxhaphaze, okanye basongele abo ubakhathaleleyo ngaphandle kokuba uyayithobela iminqweno yabo.
Soloko ubeke ukhuseleko lwakho kunye nabo ukhathalela ngabo kuqala. Ukuba izoyikiso zibonakala ziyinyani, funa ukukhuselwa kunye nokukhokelwa ngamapolisa, iinkundla kunye nabasemagunyeni.
Ngamanye amaxesha, xa usazi ukuba izoyikiso aziyonto ngaphandle kwamagama, kuya kufuneka ubambe umhlaba, uhlale uqinile kwindlela yakho yeGrey Rock, kwaye ubalinde ukuba badikwe. Baya kuthi ekugqibeleni.
Ukuba unokugcina imeko yakho engasebenziyo, uyakuqaphela utshintsho kwi-narcissist. Basenokuzama ukutyhala amaqhosha akho, kodwa baya kuyenza kancinci nangaphantsi ngokufuthi njengoko bediniwe kukudlala umdlalo.
Oko akutsho ukuba ngekhe, ngelinye ixesha kwixa elizayo, baqale ngokuzama kwakhona-mhlawumbi xa umthombo wabo omtsha wobonelelo usoma - kodwa ukuba awuzukuthatha isithiyelo sabo, baya kunyanzeleka ukuba bafune unikezelo lwabo lwe-narcissistic kwenye indawo kwakhona.
Inye into ongafanele uyilindele kummangaleli kukuzisola. Abanazo.
Nokuba bakukhathaze kangakanani kwaye nangona bekhathazekile, baya kwamkela ityala okanye uxanduva lwakho. Ke sukuya uyikhangela.
Ubungozi bokuhamba Grey Rock
Ngelixa iyindlela esebenzayo yokujongana ne-narcissist xa ungadibani nayo ayisiyiyo inketho, indlela yeGrey Rock inenye okanye ezimbini ezantsi.
Okokuqala, unokuzama ukuyisebenzisa kwiimeko ezingalunganga. Xa kunokwenzeka ukuba unganxibelelani nomnxibelelanisi, kufuneka usoloko ukhetha olu khetho.
Unokulingwa ukuba usebenzise nje indlela yeGrey Rock kunokuba ugqithe kuyo yonke ingxaki yokuyisika kube kanye, kodwa oku akucebisi.
Ewe usenokuba neemvakalelo ngabo. Ewe unokuba nethemba lokuba banokutshintsha. Ewe, ifuna isiphithiphithi kunye nomzamo wokuqinisekisa ukuba iindlela zakho aziphinde zinqumle.
Akukho nanye kwezi zinto ekufuneka isetyenzisiwe njengezizathu zokuya eGrey Rock xa unokukhetha ukungabinakho ukudibana naye.
Ukuba unonxibelelwano olungeyomfuneko kunye ne-narcissist, ke uziyeke uvulekele umngcipheko wokubuyela kumgibe wabo.
Nokuba ulunge kangakanani na ukuba ucinga ukuba awusebenzi kubo, kuthatha isiliphu esinye kwaye ungazifumana sele ukwimeko engamkelekanga ozame ukubaleka kuyo.
Ingozi yesibini yokusebenzisa le ndlela kukuba uyivumele ingene kwezinye iindawo zobomi bakho kunye nolunye ubudlelwane.
Ungaqala ukusebenzisa ukungathethi cwaka nabahlobo okanye amaqabane amatsha, unokufumana ukungakhathali okwandayo kwihlabathi elibanzi, kwaye ungaphulukana nomdla kuzo zonke izinto owawukhe wazithanda.
Unokuphulukana namandla okuba novelwano nabanye njengoko uzikhathaza ngayo nayiphi na imvakalelo, ukoyika kukushiya usengozini yokuphathwa gadalala.
andinakuthetha nomyeni wam ngayo nantoni na
Kuya kufuneka ukhumbule ukuba kulungile-nokuba kuyacetyiswa-ukuba uvule kwaye uthembeke kwabanye abantu, kwaye uyeke unogada wakho uphinde uthembe kwakhona. Awunakho ukuhlala ubomi bakho bonke kude kude nabanye abantu ngenxa yokuba kufuneka uthathe loo ndlela kunye narcissist.
Indlela yeGrey Rock inokuba yeyona ndlela isebenzayo yokuphatha i-narcissist ekufuneka unxibelelane nayo rhoqo. Inokukukhusela ekwenzakaleni ngakumbi ngokuqinisekisa ukuba awuyi kuba yenye yeethagethi zabo kwakhona.
Khumbula, abafuni ukudlala ngento yokudlala ekruqulayo, ke ube yiyo. Musa ukuba yinto yabo yokuzonwabisa, ungoyena mntu ulithandayo.
Jonga oku ikhosi ekwi-intanethi yenzelwe ukunceda umntu Philisa kuphatho gadalala .
Cofa apha ukuze ufunde ngakumbi.
