Masenze into enye ngqo ngaphambi kokuba siqhubeke: wonke umntu, ewe wonke umntu oxabisekileyo kule planethi, ubandakanyiwe, ufanelwe luthando.
Ngale nyaniso ibalulekileyo ngaphambili nakwiziko layo yonke into elandelayo, sinokujonga ixesha elide kunzima ukubona ukuba kutheni ungavakalelwa ngathi nguwe wedwa kulo mthetho kwaye sikubuyisele umva ekubeni ukholelwe ukuba UKUFANELE ukuthandwa.
Kutheni le nto ucinga ukuba akulufanelanga uthando?
Ngamanye amaxesha, ngenxa yokuba singaziboni sithandeka kwaye sixabisekile, sakha iindonga ezikhuselayo ukukhusela intliziyo yethu ethambileyo kwingozi enokubakho.
Esi sikrweqe sinokomelela kangangokuba ekugqibeleni siqala ukukholelwa ukuba asikufanelanga ukunqweneleka okanye ukuthandwa ngomnye umntu.
Naxa iimvakalelo zokutsala umntu othile zibaleka kakhulu kwaye zibuyiswa, asikwazi ukuyeka.
Izinto ezibangela ezo ngcinga zingalunganga zibanzi, ngokuzithemba okuphantsi okanye ngomfanekiso wobuxoki obubobangoyena nobangela kuninzi lwamatyala.
Esinye isizathu esiqhelekileyo kukuziva ungenaxabiso okanye ungathandeki ngenxa yamava amabi kunye neqabane langaphambili okanye umothuko wobuntwana.
Ezi mvakalelo zinetyhefu ziza zizandyondyo nje ngalo mzuzu xa ulonwabo luphakathi kwethu. Iingcinga ezimbi ezifana ‘Akukho mntu uzokufuna ukuba nam xa befika bandazi’ phuma ngaphandle kwazo naziphi na izinto ezilungileyo.
Ekugqibeleni, kukuhla kwezinto okubangelwa luloyiko lokuphoxeka, ukwenzakaliswa okanye ukuthatha ithuba.
Uyathandeka kwaye uxabisekile.
Umbuzo osisiseko wokuphendula uthi: 'Ukuba awuzithandi, kutheni ke kufuneka omnye umntu?'
Kwaye ngoku kulula ukuwela kumjikelo we-hypnosis, apho ubeka khona iinkolelo ezimbi ngawe. Njengoko ukungazithembi kunyuka, ukuzixabisa kwakho kuyanda.
Inyani yile yokuba kufuneka uhlangule kwaye ukhulise ubudlelwane bakho nesiqu sakho ngaphambili ungayivula ngokupheleleyo intliziyo yakho kubudlelwane obusondeleyo nomnye umntu.
Ungumntu omangalisayo owahlukileyo, apha, ngoku. Ukuba unengxaki yokuzidibanisa nale nyani, into yokuqala ekufuneka uyenzile kukuthintela abantu abakuthoba ngentetho, ngelizwi okanye ngesenzo.
Okulusizi kukuba, kukho abantu phaya abanenjongo yokusenzakalisa. Kuxhomekeke kuthi nokuzithemba kwethu, ukuba ukhetha ukuhlala kufutshane naba bantu okanye nokuba senza ukhetho olusengqiqweni lokukholelwa ukuba sikulungele ukuba ngcono kwaye sifanelwe ukuthandwa, ukuxabiswa, nokugcinwa ngenxa yoko singobani.
Nantoni na oko kuyisingela phantsi imvakalelo yokuzixabisa akukho ndawo kwikamva lakho njengoko uzakha kwakhona ukuzihlonela kwakho kwaye ufunde ukuzithanda kwakhona.
Ungafumanisa ukuba ukuziqhelanisa nokucinga kuya kukunika indawo yengqondo yokugqobhoza ungene nzulu kwiimvakalelo zakho ezingundoqo kwaye uqalise uhambo lwakho lokubuyela kukuzithanda.
Nantsi eyona nto iphambili: xa uthe ekugqibeleni wenza ukhetho lokuzamkela unjalo kwaye uzithande ngokungathandabuzekiyo, ngokupheleleyo nangokunzulu, kungekudala uya kufumanisa ukuba abantu kwi-orbit yakho abayi kuba nako ukuzinceda ekuthandeni nasekukuamkeleni ukubuyisa.
Ukuza zizizathu ezi-5 zokuba kutheni ngokungalunganga kholelwa ukuba awufanelwe luthando:
1. Andilufanelanga uthando kuba andinamtsalane- BUXOKI
Masikhe sifumane into phaya ngaphandle kwangoko: Nokuba ungakholelwa entwenini, uyi-100% hayi ayithandeki kakhulu ukuba ingathandwa.
Jonga ngeenxa zonke kuwe ndithetha ukujonga ngokusondeleyo hayi kuphela kwabo bakala 'njengabahle' kwinkcubeko yethu (ngandlel 'ithile engeyiyo).
indlela yokujongana nabahlobo bobuxoki
Uya kubona ukuba kukho abantu bayo yonke imilo kunye nobukhulu abantu bayo yonke imibala eyahlukileyo abantu abanoluhlu olupheleleyo lweempawu zobuso ezahlukeneyo abantu abakwaziyo ngokwahlukeneyo ukwenza izinto.
Kukho abantu phaya ngaphandle abanokubonakala begqibelele ngaphandle kodwa bakholelwe ukuba ‘babi’ ngenxa yeziphene ezingabonakaliyo kubo bonke abanye abantu.
Kwaye ke kukho abo bangathanda ubabalo nasiphi na isigqubuthelo semagazini yobuhle kodwa bengenangqondo ezintlokweni zabo okanye abakwazi ukuthanda nawuphi na umntu ngaphandle kweziqu zabo ezintle.
Igama elinomtsalane alinanto yakwenza nendlela okhangeleka ngayo. Oko kuthetha, ngokoqobo, kunjalo ukubanakho ukutsala abanye kwaye ayikhe ibonakale imbonakalo yobuso engaphumeleliyo.
Ukuba ukhangela iindlela zokwenza ukuba ubenomtsalane ngakumbi, endaweni yezinto ezingaphezulu, enye yezona zinto zinomdla kakhulu eneneni kukukwazi ukumamela, ukuba nomdla wokwenene kwinto ethethwa ngabanye.
Ukuba yingxoxo elungileyo kunye noopopayi kuqinisekisiwe ukuzisa izabelo ezifihla kude ngenxa yokuba ukholelwa ngempazamo ukuba awulunganga ngokwaneleyo awusoze.
Phuma uye wenze into oyenzayo, ube ungubani. Fumana imiphefumlo efana nengqondo eyabelana nothando lwakho lwe-Star Wars okanye ukunyuka i-backwoods okanye ukuzula kwiiholo zeemyuziyam.
Ngelixa ulandela izinto onomdla kuzo kwaye wabelana ngazo nabanye, indlela okhangeleka ngayo iba sesibini kwindlela ohlangabezana ngayo nobomi kunye nakho konke ekunikezelayo. Kwaye umdla unokuba nomtsalane ngokwenene.
Ngalo lonke eli xesha, naka ingqalelo kwindlela ozibonisa ngayo. Kulula kakhulu ukuvumela izinto zityibilike ukuba uyakholelwa ukuba awunamtsalane kwaye emva koko uye uzifezekise.
Iimpahla ezicocekileyo kunye neenwele kufuneka ziphakame, uncamathisele uncumo kwaye ulungise loo mehlo aqaqambileyo kwihlabathi elikungqongileyo. Khumbula ukuba abantu aba nomdla are umdla .
2. Andilufanelanga uthando kuba ndingumntu ombi- BUBUXOKI
Kulungile, ke umbuzo wokuqala ofuna ukuphendulwa apha uthi: 'Ngubani othi ungumntu ombi?'
Inyani yile yokuba kunokwenzeka ukuba ube lixhoba apha kunomenzi wobubi. Umntu okwisikhundla sempembelelo, nokuba ungumzali, utitshala, umthandi, umntakwabo, ukuxelele le nto ingeyonyani, eyinxalenye yendlela yabo yokunyanzela ulawulo okanye umdlalo wamandla.
Ngokwenyani, ungumntu olufanelwe luthando njengaye nawuphi na umntu.
Inyaniso yokuba ubukho ukuhlanjwa kwengqondo ekukholelweni ukuba awufanelanga thando yinto efuna ukubonwa ukuba injani kwaye ijikwe entlokweni yayo embi.
Iinkqubo ezingalunganga ezinjalo zihlala zibhalwe nzulu kangangokuba azinakubuyiselwa umva ngokulula. Nangona kunjalo, ukuthetha ngonyango, nokuba kunye nabahlobo abathembekileyo okanye ingcali, kunokunceda ukuveza ukuba le nkolelo iphosakeleyo ivela phi.
indlela yokujongana namaxoki kubudlelwane
Xa ilifu okhe waphila kulo ixesha elide liphakanyisiwe, uya kuba nakho ukwamkela ikamva apho ukulungele ukuthanda nokuthandwa khona.
Esinye isizathu sokuziva ngathi ungumntu ombi siphantsi kwimbali yakho kubudlelwane bangaphambili. Mhlawumbi uziphathe kakubi, waphoxa umntu, okanye wabakhathaza kakhulu.
Oko akuthethi ukuba awukwazi ukulungisa iindlela zakho kwaye ufumane uthando lokwenene, kodwa kuya kufuneka uzixolele kuqala , kunye nokuzibophelela ukuba ungenzi iimpazamo ezifanayo kwakhona.
Isenokuba yimeko ethile yobomi, okanye isaqhwithi esigqibeleleyo sobuntu obungalinganiyo, esenze ukuba senze izinto ezibuhlungu ozisolayo ngazo ngoku.
Kungenxa yokwenza iimpazamo ukuba sifunde, sikhule, kwaye sikhule njengabantu, ke kusenokwenzeka ukuba ungoyena mntu ulunge ngakumbi, ojikeleze ngakumbi ngoncedo lwamava akho angaphambili.
Zisike kancinci kwaye ungazibhali njengomntu ombi ongalufanelanga uthando. Akunjalo nje!
3. Andilufanelanga uthando kuba ndiza nempahla eninzi - BUBUXOKI
Inyani apha yile yokuba wonke umntu unemithwalo, nokuba yeyomzimba okanye yemvakalelo.
Ukuphalaza umthwalo weemvakalelo kunzima ukwenza. Kodwa, ukuba usatyiwa ziimvakalelo ezingalunganga, intsalela yobudlelwane bangaphambili obonakalisayo- nokuba ngumsindo okanye ulangazelelo okanye ukuzisola-ke kuya kufuneka udlule ngaphaya koko ngaphambi kokuba ulwalamano-lukulungele .
Ke, inyani yokuba usindwa zezi mvakalelo ayithethi ukuba awufanelanga ukuthanda kwakhona, kukuba awukakulungeli okwangoku.
Ukuphilisa kwintlungu ebalulekileyo yinkqubo eqhelekileyo kwaye kunokuba lide ukuba uthando lwangaphambili lwalunzulu. Zinike elo xesha lokuphilisa.
Thetha ngemithwalo yakho yeemvakalelo nabahlobo abasondeleyo okanye usapho. Ukuba le avenue ingangoncedo, cinga ngokuchitha ixesha kunye nomcebisi oqeqeshiweyo ukukunceda uqhubeke.
Oku, kunye nomnye umphilisi omkhulu-ixesha-kuya kukuvumela ukuba uvulele intliziyo yakho umntu oza kukuthanda kunye nempahla yakho ngaphandle kwemeko.
Kodwa uza kuthini ukuba umthwalo wakho ungaphezu komzimba?
Mhlawumbi ubotshelelwe ngamatyala okanye iingxaki zemali ezivela kwixa elidlulileyo, ngenxa yamashwa okanye izigqibo ezimbi.
Mhlawumbi unomntwana okanye abantwana kunye nobudlelwane obunengxaki kunye neqabane lakho langaphambili eliguqukele ekubeni ngumzali kwindawo yemigodi.
Mhlawumbi uhlala kwaye unakekela isalamane esikhulileyo.
Ngokuqinisekileyo, zonke ezi ngxaki zinzima, kodwa azikwenzi ungalufanelekelanga uthando.
Masijongane nayo, bambalwa kakhulu abantu abadala abakhulileyo ngaphandle ngaphandle komthwalo ofanayo okanye omnye.
Uhleli esihlalweni somqhubi apha, unoxanduva lwenjongo yakho. Ukuzivumela ukholelwe ukuba iimeko zakho zangoku zithintela uthando kunokwenzeka ukuba uzanelise.
Funa amanye amaqela enkxaso yabantu abakwiimeko ezifanayo kwaye uyakuyibona loo nto imithwalo yakho ikude lee ekubeni yahlukile.
Qiniseka ukuba ujongeka ujonge ngaphandle kwaye ugcine umnyango uvulekile. Awusoze wazi ukuba umntu othile okhethekileyo uza kuyinyathela nini, umthwalo kunye nakho konke.
4. Andilufanelanga uthando kuba ndophuke kakhulu - BUXOKI
Mhlawumbi uziva unamanxeba amaninzi kwaye wenzakele kakhulu ukuba ungathandwa.
Mhlawumbi unexhala lokuba la mava amabi nawayonakalisayo akwenza ungakufanelekeli ukuba nolwalamano oluhle kwaye ukwenze ungathandeki.
Akulunganga.
Akukho namnye yaphuke kakhulu kangangokuba ayikufanelanga ukuthandwa.
Nokuba uthini na amazwi aphikisayo angaphakathi, wena are ilunge ngokwanele. Kodwa inyani ihlala ihlebeza yabo inetyhefu inokuba yinto entle.
Kulula ukuthathwa ngabo de uzifumanise usonakalisa ubudlelwane bakho, ke loo mazwi alawula ikamva lakho.
Oko kukuthi ukuba uyabavumela…
Iimpawu ezifihlakeleyo umfazi uyakuthanda
Nangona ungasokuze uphumelele ekubathuliseni ngokupheleleyo, ungafunda ukunciphisa ivolumu kwaye ubeke endaweni yazo ngeengcinga ezintle ukuba ulungile ngokwaneleyo.
Ungakholelwa ngoku ukuba amanxeba akho eemvakalelo akwenza ungathandeki, kodwa cinga ngesi sicatshulwa singaziwayo: “Isiva nje sithetha ukuba ubomelele ngaphezu kwayo nayiphi na into ezame ukukwenzakalisa.”
Ke ngoko, nangona ungazibona ubuthathaka ngamava akho othando abuhlungu ngaphambili, inyani kukuba amanxeba akho abonisa ukomelela kwakho, hayi ubuthathaka bakho. Ungomntu osindileyo.
Mhlawumbi kukho iimeko kunye neziganeko ezivela kwixesha lakho elidlulileyo ongazidliyo ngazo kwaye mhlawumbi ezinye zazo zizenzele ngokwakho awunakuzinceda ngelo xesha.
Kodwa musa ukuxhonywa kwinkolelo yokuba ezi mpazamo zikwenza ube ngumntu owaphukileyo. Ngapha koko, bakwenza ukuba ube lilungu elihlawulelweyo ngokupheleleyo loluntu oluneziphene kakhulu, iziva kunye nako konke.
Ungalahli umbono wale nyani: nawuphina umntu olufanelwe uthando lwakho uya kuthanda amkele iindawo ezingcolileyo kunye neendawo ezilungileyo. Amathuba okuba bazimanye neqela kunye nezikrelemnqa ezizezabo.
5. Andilufanelanga uthando kuba ndingaqhelekanga - BUXOKI
Nantsi into, amaxesha amaninzi abantu abazicingela bona, kunye / okanye abazichazayo, njengabantu 'abangaqhelekanga' ngokwenene ngabantu abakrelekrele kakhulu.
Bacinga nzulu, abakhulileyo ngokwengqondo ngaphezu komndilili kubakaki beminyaka yabo. Ngamafutshane, banabantu abanesiphiwo, nangona besokola ukuqonda le nyaniso.
Endaweni yoko, baya ezantsi emngxunyeni womvundla ongancediyo wokuzifanisa ngokungathandekiyo nabanye ababona kufanelekile ‘kwesiqhelo.’ Bayazibuza ukuba kutheni bengalingani kwaye yintoni engalunganga kubo.
Umbono wokuthandwa ngenxa yomntu oza kuthi awamkele umahluko wabo kwaye ubathande ngenxa yoko kungabonakala kungenakufikeleleka.
Ngaba oku kuyavakala njengawe?
Inyani yile ungu hayi mangalisi -Ukhetheke ngokwenyani, kwaye unamandla eengcinga ezimangalisayo ngokwenene.
Yimbono yakho nje ukuba akukho mntu uya 'kukufumana' kuko konke ukwahluka kwakho okubeka ecaleni nokwenza uthando lubonakale ngathi lunokwenzeka kude.
Unguwe kwaye awunakukutshintsha oko, kodwa unako, mhlawumbi, ukutshintsha indlela onxibelelana ngayo nabanye, indlela ozibonakalisa ngayo.
Ungathini ngokuhambisa ezinye zobukrelekrele oboyikisayo ukuze ufumane indlela yokwenza oko?
Ukujoyina amaqela abantu ababelana ngeminqweno yakho, nokuba kukugcina izirhubuluzi, ukutsiba nge-bungee, okanye ukuqokelela iminqwazi yeebhotile yindawo entle ongaqala kuyo.
Nje ukuba usete ngempumelelo apho uzibona ukwi ecaleni kwabo bonke abantu ekuthiwa 'baqhelekile', kuyakufuneka ujonge kuba uya kuba nabantu abawela ezinyaweni zakho, befuna ukuthanda nokuthandwa ngabantu ababalaseleyo kuwe are.
Ngaba awuqinisekanga ukuba ufanelwe uthando? Ngaba ufuna uncedo lokuyifumana? Thetha kwi-Intanethi kwingcali yobudlelwane kwi-Relationship Hero enokukunceda ufumane izinto. Ngokulula.
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