Ukuba ufunda le nto, ke sele usenzile isigqibo… nokuba awukasivumi kuwe okwangoku.
Idlulile.
Nokuba ukhe wahlala nomntu iinyanga ezimbalwa okanye iminyaka igqithile, ukwahlukana naye ngekhe kube lula.
Uyazi ukuba yinto elungileyo, kwaye nobabini niza kuba ngcono ekugqibeleni, kodwa ingcinga yokwahlukana nabo ayiyonto imnandi.
ndingasithatha phi isithandwa sam xa sizokuzalwa
Ngokuqinisekileyo ayinakuphepheka ukuba uya kulilimaza iqabane lakho ngokuphelisa ubudlelwane, kodwa Njani kwaye nini Ukwahlukana nabo kuya kuchaphazela indlela ekucaphukisa ngayo nobabini.
Nazi izinto ezimbalwa onokucinga ngazo ngaphambi kokuba wohlukane nomntu, ukuzama ukunciphisa iintlungu oza kuzenza.
1. Yenze ngobuqu, ukuba kunokwenzeka
Ngokwesiqhelo ungabaleka ngokuphelisa izinto phantse ukuba ubukhe wanemihla embalwa okanye khange ubonane ixesha elide.
Qiniseka ukuba ngokwenene baxelele, ngenxa yothando lukaThixo. Ukuba ucinga ukuba ukwamkela umoya kwamkelekile eluntwini ungayeka ukufunda ngoku. Akukho themba ngawe.
Ukuba uqale ukudibana nabahlobo bomnye nomnye, ukuhlala ngaphaya kwenye indawo yomnye, okanye uziva nje ukuba izinto zidlule kwinqanaba lokuqala lobudlelwane, ubatyala ityala lokwahlukana ubuso ngobuso.
Ukuba yinto ekudala ikho, ngokuqinisekileyo kufuneka ibekho emntwini. Isithandwa somhlobo wam seminyaka emibini sahlukana naye ngenkohlakalo kwimizuzu eli-10 ekhawulezayo yokufowuna eofisini. Unesibetho ebomini. Musa ukuba nguloo mfo, okanye loo ntombazana.
Ukwahlukana nomntu othile akuvumeli ukuba ubaphathe ngentlonipho encinci. Inkcazo yobuso ngobuso yokuba kutheni uphelisa izinto iya kunceda omabini amaqela amkele ukuphela kwale meko.
Lungiselela ukuba uzibone kwaye uzise ngokukhawuleza, kuba intetho encinci ayizukuhlala kakuhle kule meko.
Kwelinye icala, ukuyenza buqu akusoloko kunokwenzeka ngokwasemzimbeni. Ukuba ungenile ubudlelwane obude , akukho sidingo sokulinda ukwahlukana nabo ngesiqu ukuba awuzukubabona iinyanga. Ukuba uyazi ukuba kugqityiwe, kungcono ukuyenza phantse ukuze niyeke ukuchitha ixesha.
2. Khetha indawo eyiyo
Ngokukhetha, yenze kwenye indawo yabucala njengendawo yabo (hayi eyakho, ngaphandle kokuba nihlala kunye-mababe kumhlaba wasekhaya!), ke akufuneki bajongane nohambo olugodukayo ngobuso obunezinyembezi.
Ubuncinci khetha kwenye indawo engaxakekanga ngokukodwa, ke ukuba bayacaphuka emva koko abalileli phambi kwezihlwele zabantu. Ipaki ihlala ilungile ukuba imozulu ilungile.
Nceda ungakhethi kwindawo ethile ebonakala ngathi yeyothando, kwaye ungayenzi kwisidlo sangokuhlwa kwindawo yokutyela enabantu abaninzi.
3. Yenze ngokukhawuleza
Into yokugqibela ofuna ukuyenza kukubenzakalisa, ke kusenokwenzeka ukuba uqhubeka ubeka, kodwa mhlawumbi sele besazi ukuba kukho into engalunganga.
Banokuxela ukuba izinto zitshintshile. Ambalwa kakhulu amaqhekeza eza njengothuko olupheleleyo emntwini owahlukaniswa naye, nokuba uyaphika.
Ngokukhawuleza uyakwenza, ngokukhawuleza unokuhamba nobomi bakho kwaye wonwabe kwakhona.
Oko akutsho ukuba kufuneka ulahle ubudlelwane ngokukhawuleza xa ushaya umhlaba onamatye - ubudlelwane bunzima kwaye uthathe umsebenzi.
Kodwa ukuba awukwazi ukubona isiphelo esinokubakho sonwabe kwizinto, akukho sizathu sincinci sokulibazisa okungenakuphepheka.
Ngaphandle kwalo mthetho…
4. Zama ukukuphepha iimeko ezizodwa
Ukuba unako, zama ukunqanda nayiphi na imihla ebalulekileyo eyenzelwe ukonwaba, njengosuku lwabo lokuzalwa okanye uEva woNyaka oMtsha.
Zama ukunqanda naziphi na iintsuku ezibuhlungu, njengesikhumbuzo sokufa komntu omthandayo.
Sebenzisa nje ingqondo yakho kwaye ucinge ngendlela onokuziva ngayo kwizihlangu zabo.
Kwelinye icala, nceda ungalindi kwaye uyenze ngosuku EMVA KOKUZALWA kwabo. Ayibenzeli nceba. Ubanike iinkumbulo ezithandekayo kusuku lwabo olukhulu, kodwa kwangoko wenza ukuba iinkumbulo zijike zibe krakra ngokumangalisayo, njengoko baya kwazi ukuba ubuzicwangcisa lonke elixesha.
5. Baxelele Inyaniso
Ndiyazi ukuba usenokucinga ukuba kulungile ukubaxelela ukuba ulungile ukuwa ngenxa yothando nabo kunokuba uye wathandana nomnye umntu, kodwa akunjalo.
Baza kuyifumana inyani, kwaye nokuba abayenzi loo nto, baya kuhlala beziva ngathi kukho into engalunganga kwaye ubungabaxeleli lonke ibali.
Ukunyaniseka yi-100% eyona migaqo-nkqubo ilungileyo, nokuba siyintoni na isizathu sokuqhekeka kwabo.
Phendula imibuzo yabo ngokunyaniseka, ngaphandle kokubanika iinkcukacha ezingeyomfuneko eziza kwenza izinto zibe mandundu.
Oku kubuyela kwingcinga yokwahlukana ngokusekwe kwintlonipho yeqabane lakho. Ukuxoka okanye ukunganiki nayiphi na ingcaciso konke konke akuyondlela yokubonisa intlonipho kumntu omkhathaleleyo.
Kodwa ungazichaza izizathu zakho ngobuchule kwaye oku kungcono ukwenze ngokuthetha ngendlela oziva ngayo kwaye ungabheneli ekufundeni uluhlu lweempazamo zabo.
Ngokuqinisekileyo, indlela abaziphethe ngayo inokuba sesinye sezizathu eziphambili zesigqibo sakho, kodwa ngoku ayiloxesha lokukhomba umnwe wokusola.
Kwaye ukuyila ukwahlukana njengokusekwe kuwe kunye neemvakalelo zakho kubanika ithuba elincinci lokuba bathi bayakutshintsha.
6. Yibani Nethemba malunga nexesha lenu kunye
Ngelixa uhlala unamathele enyanisweni, zama ukuveza kwiqabane lakho ukuba niza kujonga ngothando ngexesha enilichithe kunye.
Kuya kuba lula kubo ukuba abaziva ngathi uzisola ngobuhlobo bonke.
Baxelele ukuba ubanqwenelela okuhle kwaye unethemba lokuba baya kufumana umntu abanokonwaba kunye naye.
La magama alula anokunceda iqabane lakho ukuba libone isiphumo esihle kukwahlukana kwaye babone ubudlelwane njengenxalenye efanelekileyo yohambo lwabo.
7. Sukucela ikhefu
Zingaphi izibini ozaziyo eziye zaya 'ekhefini' xa izinto ziba nzima zaze zabuyela emva, zahlala zinjalo? Ndicinge njalo.
Ikhefu lihlala lisetyenziswa nje njengenyathelo lethutyana labantu abafuna ukwahlukana neqabane labo xa bengenaso isibindi sokwenza kwangoko.
Nangona isenokungabonakali injalo ngaphezulu, le yinto entle yokuzingca. Ukuba uyazi ezantsi ngokwenene iphelile, lixesha lokuba uyigqibe. Musa ukuyikhupha.
8. Kwaye Sukufuna 'Ixesha' Nokuba
Enye indlela esetyenziswa ngabo bangenalo uluvo lokwenza nje. Ukuxelela iqabane lakho ukuba awuqinisekanga malunga nolwalamano kwaye ubabuze ixesha lokucinga ngezinto akupholanga.
indlela yokuhlonipha imida yabanye
Banokuchitha elo xesha bethe phithi yiyo kwaye beziva belusizi, xa benokuba baqala inkqubo yokuqhubela phambili.
9. Yenze icace ukuba iphelile
Musa ukuwela kumgibe wokucinga ukuba ukubashiya nentwana yethemba kulunge kunokutsala ngokupheleleyo i-band-aid. Ayiyo.Ukuba bayazi ukuba kugqityiwe, banokuqala ukudlula kuyo.
Ukuba ubashiya phantsi kwengcinga yokuba kukho ithuba lokuba nina nobabini nibuye nibuyelane, banokuzimisela ukukubuyisela.
10 Kambe ke, yiba Nobulali!
Ngelixa ukukrazula i-band-aid izandi zikhohlakele, akufuneki kube njalo! Kufuneka uqine kwaye ucace, kodwa kuya kufuneka ulunge kwaye ube nokuthantamisa.
Ungazivumeli ukuba usebenze, kwaye uzame ukungakhali ukuba unganceda.
Kwelinye icala, musa ukwenza ngokungathi wenziwe ngamatye, njengoko ungafuni ukuba bacinge ukuba awukhathali.
Sisenzo sokulinganisa, kodwa kungcono uhlale uzikhumbuza ngendlela oziva ngayo ukuba ubusezihlangwini zabo kwaye uyisebenzise njengesikhokelo sokuziphatha kwakho.
Nantoni na oyenzayo, ungabaxeleli ukuba ucinga ukuba bayasabela.
11. Bayeke bachaze ukuba zihamba njani na izinto
Unokuba nokubuya okungathandekiyo kwezinto zomnye umntu oza kujongana nazo, okanye kusenokwenzeka ukuba nihlala kunye. Nantoni na efuna ukwenzeka, kungcono ubavumele ukuba babe ngabo babiza izithonga (nangona ungafanelanga ukuba ngumnyango wenyawo).
Ndihlala ndibona ukuba akukho qhakamshelwano yeyona ndlela yokuhamba xa uqala ukwahlukana, ukunika amaqela omabini ithuba lokuqhubekeka kwezinto kunye nokuqala ukubuyela kwimeko yesiqhelo.
Ukuba bafuna ukuhlala benxibelelana kwaye ungacingi ukuba iphilile, baxelele ngobuchule kangangoko kunokwenzeka.
Unethemba lokuba ngabahlobo phantsi komgca, kodwa akukho mntu unokujika ngaphandle komthungo ubudlelwane bothando buye kubuhlobo.
Ukuba uqala ukubona umntu omtsha (okanye ubusele ukhona), qiniseka ukuba awuzukuqhayisa. Yigcine kwimithombo yeendaba zasekuhlaleni okwexeshana ngenxa yokuhlonipha.
Eyothusayo njengoko le nkqubo inokubonakala, zama ukuyigcina ikwimeko efanelekileyo. Uya kulunga, kwaye baya kuphila. Yeyona ilungileyo. Unayo le.
Ukwahlukana nee-FAQ
Ngaphandle kwesenzo sokwahlukana ngokwawo, kukho ezinye izinto ekufuneka ziqwalaselwe.
Nantsi eminye imibuzo edla ngokubuzwa enokuthi ikuncede ufumane amava ngokungangxamanga.
Kuthekani ukuba ndihlala neqabane lam?
Ukwahlukana okunempilo kunzima xa uphantsi kweenyawo zabanye ngalo lonke ixesha, ke ukuba uyazi ukuba uza kuphelisa ubudlelwane, zama ukulungiselela indawo yokuhlala yethutyana kwenye indawo.
Cela ukuhlala esofeni yomhlobo, ubuyele kubazali bakho, okanye ubone ukuba kukho ihotele efikelelekayo okanye iB & B kufutshane onokuyenza okwethutyana.
Kwixesha elide, omnye okanye bobabini niyakufuna ukufumana enye indawo yokuhlala kwaye le nkqubo kufuneka iqale kwangoko.
Okukhona uhlala ixesha elide neqabane lakho langaphambili, kuya kuba nzima ukuba nobabini niqhubeke.
Kwaye, okulusizi kukuba, kusenokubakho imvakalelo yokugula phakathi kwenu enokuthi ivele kwiingxabano ukuba kuvunyelwe ukukhula ixesha elide.
What if ndisabathanda?
Usenokubona ukuba ubudlelwane abuphilanga okanye ayenzelwanga ukuba ibe njalo, kodwa oku akuthethi ukuba awukhathali ngeqabane lakho.
Ungabathanda kakhulu, kodwa Uthando alusoloko lwanele ukugcina abantu ababini bekunye .
Uthando sisizathu sokunika ubudlelwane lonke ithuba lokuphumelela, kodwa ayisosizathu sokuzingisa ngento engekho kwenye yezona mfuno zakho kwixesha elide.
iphi i-wwe summerslam 2015
Xa usenza isigqibo sokuba ungahlukani okanye ungaphumeleli, zama ukwahlula iimvakalelo zakho kwizinto eziluncedo nezinyanisekileyo.
Sukuvumela iimvakalelo-nothando-ukukugcina kubudlelwane obuza kugqitywa ekugqibeleni.
Kuthekani ukuba abalindelanga?
Ngelixa uninzi lwabantu luza kuqonda ukuba into ayilunganga ncam kubudlelwane, akusoloko kunjalo.
Oku kuyinyani ngakumbi ukuba awuzange uthethe neqabane lakho malunga nendlela oziva ngayo.
Ukuba umntu akalindelanga ukuba aqhekezwe kunye, iindaba ziya kubetha kabini nzima. Kodwa ingcebiso ayitshintshi kakhulu…
… Musa ukulibazisa, thembeka, cacisa, kwaye uqine.
Kuthekani ukuba abafuni / abayikuvuma ukuba ndohlukane?
Xa besaphula umtshato, abanye abantu baya kuzama nzima ukukhusela ukuba kungenzeki.
Basenokunyanzelisa ukuba unike izinto 'ithuba elinye,' nangona sele unike ubudlelwane lonke ithuba lokuphumelela.
Musa ukunikezela nakweyiphi na imfuno kwaye ume uqinile kwisigqibo sakho nokuba bazama ukukubekekisa ityala, sebenzisa ukumngcungcuthekisa ngokweemvakalelo , okanye kuba nje zibonakala zonakaliswe ziziganeko.
Musa ukuziva ngathi kufuneka ubathethelele kubo ukuba kutheni uphelisa ulwalamano.
Nika inkcazo ecacileyo ukuqala ngayo, kodwa ungaziva imfuneko yokubonelela ngeenkcukacha ezithe vetshe.
Ukuba usenzile isigqibo kwaye yinto oyicingisisile, kufuneka ume uqinile kwaye qhubeka uphindaphinda ukuba iphelile kwaye akukho nto banokuyithetha okanye bayenzayo enokutshintsha ingqondo yakho.
Zilungiselele ukuyiphelisa incoko kwaye uhambe xa kukho imfuneko.
Kwaye ukuba bayaqhubeka nokuzama ukukubuyisela umva, yala nje ukubandakanyeka nabo xa bezisa esi sihloko.
Ngokuqinisekileyo, kusenokufuneka uthethe nalo mntu ngezizathu ezahlukeneyo, kodwa akufuneki uthethe nabo ngobuhlobo bakho.
Ndiziva ndibi kakhulu, kufuneka ndenze ntoni?
Akunakuphika ukuba ukwahlukana nomntu othile - ngakumbi ukuba uyamthanda - yinto enzima ukuyenza.
Unyanzelekile ukuba ube neemvakalelo ezingathandekiyo ezinjengokuziva unetyala, ukuzisola, ukudana, kwanokungazi nto elandelayo.
Akukho pilisi yomlingo yokukunceda ulahle ezi mvakalelo, kodwa kufanelekile ukuba ukhumbule ukuba kutheni usenza eli nyathelo kwasekuqaleni.
Cacisa izizathu zakho engqondweni yakho kwaye uzisebenzise ukukunceda ukukhumbuza ukuba wenza into elungileyo.
Kwaye musa ukuvumela ukudabuka, umsindo, okanye ukuphoxeka kweqabane lakho ukuba kubunzima emagxeni akho.
Usenokuba nguwe owaqalisa ukwahlukana, kodwa ubudlelwane bumalunga nabantu ababini kwaye iimvakalelo zabo ayizizo ezakho ukuba ubenazo okanye ujongane nazo.
Kuthekani ukuba ndiphinde ndacinga kwakhona?
Ukuba wohlukana neqabane lakho emva koko nibe namava wesibini, sukukhathazeka, oku kuqhelekile.
Ukuba benikunye kunye nakuphi na ubude bexesha, ngaphandle kwamathandabuzo niya kuba zizinto ezibalulekileyo kubomi bomnye nomnye.
Ukujongana nokudityaniswa kobo bomi kunye nokungaqiniseki kwekamva kunokuba yinto enkulu esebenzayo kunye neemvakalelo.
Kuyaqondakala ukuba unqwenela ukuba yonke into ibuyele kwindlela ebekuyiyo.
Kuphela, bekungasebenzi njani kuwe kwaye kuya kufuneka uhlale uzikhumbuza oku de ube uhlengahlengise kwinyani yakho entsha.
Kuthekani ukuba banexinzelelo okanye eminye imiba yempilo yengqondo?
Ukuphelisa ubudlelwane nomntu onengxaki yoxinzelelo okanye enye ingxaki yempilo yengqondo kunokuziva kunzima kabini.
Unokuziva unoxanduva ngentlalo-ntle yabo kunye nozinzo, kodwa inyani kukuba kangangoko unokubanceda bakwazi ukumelana nemeko yabo, ikwayimeko yabo.
Ukuba ubudlelwane abuphilanga kuwe okanye kubo okanye bobabini, ukuphela kwayo sisisigqibo esifanelekileyo.
Le ngcebiso ingentla iseyinyani, kwaye akukho lula ukuba ube nobuntu ngakumbi kunokuba unokuba kunye nomntu ongenayo imicimbi yezempilo yengqondo.
Ekuphela kwento onokunqwenela ukuyenza ngokwahlukileyo, ngakumbi ukuba ubunaye nalo mntu ixesha elide kwaye ubazi abahlobo babo kunye nosapho, kukubazisa emva kokuba wohlukene neqabane lakho.
Ingaziva ngathi ubuya umva kwiqabane lakho, kodwa ukuba uyakholelwa ukuba baya kuyidinga inkxaso kwaye banokubangela nawuphina umngcipheko kubo, kuyinto entle nenengqiqo ukuyenza.
Ndiyoyika ukohlukana neqabane lam, ndingenza ntoni?
Ukuba obu budlelwane buye baba yinxalenye enkulu yobomi bakho kangangexesha elibalulekileyo, ukubuphelisa kunokuba ngumthombo woloyiko.
Olu loyiko lunokwenzeka ngenxa yentlungu engenakuphepheka oya kuyifumana wena, ikamva elingaziwayo elizayo, kunye nethemba lokuthetha loo mazwi.
Uloyiko luyindalo, kodwa lunokoyiswa. Kuya kufuneka ugcine ingqondo yakho ijolise kwizizathu zokuba kutheni unqwenela ukwahlukana neqabane lakho.
Ezi zizathu ziya kukunceda utyhale kuloyiko kwaye ufikelele kwinqanaba apho uthatha inyathelo kwaye wahlule nabo.
Ngaba awuqinisekanga ukuba uzakuhamba njani ngokwahlukana neqabane lakho? Thetha kwi-Intanethi kwingcali yobudlelwane kwi-Relationship Hero enokukunceda ufumane izinto. Ngokulula.
Unokuthanda:
oko kuthathwa njengento engenamsebenzi kuthetha
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