Ukungcungcuthekiswa ngokweemvakalelo liqhinga elinokusetyenziswa ngabantu abasondeleyo kuthi ukusenzakalisa nokusikhohlisa, nokuba ngabom okanye ngabom.
uzothini kumhlobo osandula ukuhlukana
Ugculelo ngokweemvakalelo kuxa umntu othile esebenzisa ubuthathaka bethu, iimfihlo zethu, nokuba sesichengeni kwethu ukuze afumane kanye le nto bayifunayo kuthi.
Singaphathwa kakubi ngokwasemphefumlweni liqabane lethu, abazali, abantwana, abantakwethu, abahlobo, abantu esisebenza nabo, okanye nabani na esisondeleyo kuye ngaphandle kokuqonda ukuba kuqhubeka ntoni…
… Okanye, ngokungathi kunjalo, singafuni ukuvuma ngokwethu okwenzekayo.
Ngamanye amaxesha, i-blackmailer isenokungaziboni iipatheni zabo zokuziphatha (okanye ayinqweneli ukuvuma ukuphathwa njengesiqhelo) ke iyaziphika kubo nakubo bonke abanye abantu.
Ngeenjongo zeli nqaku, siza kugxila kubudlelwane bezothando, kodwa ukungcola ngokweemvakalelo kwezi ntlobo zichazwe ngezantsi zinokusebenza kulo naluphi na uhlobo lobudlelwane.
Olu hlobo lwento lwenzeka rhoqo kubudlelwane bomntu, kodwa lunokwenzeka nakubudlelwane bobuchwephesha.
Kwakhona kubalulekile ukuba uqaphele ukuba kukho amanqanaba ahlukeneyo obukrakra obuchaphazelekayo apha.
Sonke senza izinto ziphosakele, kwaye uninzi lwethu luya kusebenzisa iindlela ezilula kakhulu zokugculela ngokweemvakalelo kubudlelwane bethu ngaxa lithile.
Oko akusenzi ukuba sibe ngabakhohlisi abagcweleyo.
Singabantu nje, kwaye sonke sinesiphene ngendalo yethu.
Kubalulekile, nangona kunjalo, ukuba uqaphele iintlobo ezahlukeneyo zobundlobongela ngokweemvakalelo ezikhoyo kunye neempawu ezenzekayo.
Oku kuyakuvumela ukuba uchonge xa into ihambe kakhulu kwaye ibe yingxaki kubudlelwane bakho.
Uxinzelelo lokuKhanya alusoloko luBlackmail
Ngaphambi kokuba siqhubele phambili, kufuneka siqinisekise ukuba kulo naluphi na ubudlelwane, ukupha nokuthatha kuyinto eqhelekileyo kwaye kusempilweni. Ngamanye amaxesha kuya kwenziwa kuwe.
Kubalulekile ukuba nikwazi ukungavumelani kodwa nize nifikelele kwisivumelwano kunye, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha kuya kufuneka nenze izinto eningazukukhetha ukuzenza.
Kodwa uzenza nakanjani ukuze ulwalamano lwakho kunye nomntu omthandayo.
Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, ukuba ihlala iyindlela yakho okanye uhola wendlela, kuya kufuneka uqwalasele inyani yokuba umntu omnyama ngokweemvakalelo kulwalamano lwakho usenokuba nguwe.
Kodwa kukho umgca apha. Ukunikezela kuyo nantoni na efunwa liqabane lakho akufuneki kube yinto eqhelekileyo, ngakumbi xa imalunga nezinto ezibaluleke kakhulu kuwe.
Isiphatho sokwenene sisoloko sizihoya iimfuno zomnye umntu kunye neemfuno zakhe kwaye akawaboni amalungelo omnye umntu njengabalulekileyo.
Bathanda ukuba neqabane ebomini babo abanokubalawula kwaye abanamdla nakuphi na ukulungelelanisa okubandakanya ubudlelwane obunempilo.
Banokuzama ukugcina olo lawulo kumaqabane abo ngayo nayiphi na kwezi ndlela zilandelayo.
Iindlela ezi-3 zokuCwangciswa kakubi
Ugqirha wezifo zengqondo uGqirha Susan Phambili uqulunqe isifinyezo esithi FOG ukwenza isishwankathelo seendlela ezisebenzisa ubuqhetseba- uloyiko, uxanduva kunye nokuziva unetyala.
I-manipulator inokusebenzisa zonke ezi ndlela zintathu zezicwangciso ngaxeshanye, okanye ixhomekeke kwinto enye okanye ezimbini kuzo.
Umntu angabamba uloyiko lweqabane lakhe (mhlawumbi malunga nolwalamano luphele), axhokonxe iimvakalelo zabo zokuzibophelela (mhlawumbi ubakhumbuze ukuba ngabo abondla usapho), okanye abenze bazive benetyala (ngokubeka iingxaki zabo ngokupheleleyo kumaqabane abo umnyango).
Benza oku besebenzisa ulwazi abalufumeneyo kule minyaka idlulileyo malunga nokuba yintoni ebangela ukuba amaqabane abo aphawule.
Ukwazi ezi zicwangciso kunye neendlela ezine zempatho-mbi exoxwa kamva kunokukunceda uchonge isimilo osenokungaziboni njengezikhohlisayo.
Makhe siqwalasele ngakumbi ezi zicwangciso zintathu, emva koko sivavanye ezi ndidi zinegunya lokujonga kunye nokubona ukuba zinxibelelana njani.
Uloyiko
Uloyiko sisenzo esenzelwe ukusikhusela, sibangela iimpendulo zomzimba ezisilungiselela 'ukulwa okanye ukubhabha' xa sizifumana sikwimeko ezoyikisayo.
Ezo meko azinyanzelekanga ukuba zibe yingozi emzimbeni.
Singaziva sisoyika ukuphulukana nabantu esibathandayo okanye ukwenzakala kubo.
Ngamanye amaxesha, kunjalo uloyiko olungaziwayo abo badlali badlala ngabo.
Kukho zonke iintlobo zoloyiko ezinokusetyenziselwa ukubamba abantu bathimbe, njenge uloyiko lokushiywa , ukoyika ukucaphukisa umntu, ukoyika ukungqubana, ukoyika iimeko ezikhohlisayo, kunye noloyiko lokhuseleko lwakho lomzimba.
Imbopheleleko
Sihlala siziva sinyanzelekile kubantu abasingqongileyo kuba, njengabantu, uluvo olomeleleyo loluntu yinxalenye enkulu yento ebangele ukuba iintlobo zethu ziphumelele.
Kukho ukhuseleko kumanani, kwaye sonke sifuna ukubandakanywa kwiqela. Ukuze samkelwe, besisoloko sinezibophelelo ezithile ekufuneka sizifezekisile.
Abaphembeleli bangasebenzisa iindlela ezahlukileyo ukusikhumbuza ngezo zibophelelo, ukutyhala amaqhosha asenza siziva sinyanzelekile ukuba senze into abayifunayo.
Umzali unokukhumbuza umntwana ngokuzincama abenzele kona kwaye abaxelele ukuba abanambulelo.
Iqabane linokuthi libenokwenza nantoni na ekucele ukuba uyenze ukuba iindima zibuyisiwe.
Umntu onobuqhophololo usenokutyhola umhlobo ngokuzingca.
Ukuziva unetyala
Ukuziva unetyala kunxulumene kakhulu nesibophelelo.
Ukuba asenzi into esicinga ukuba sinyanzelekile ukuba siyenze, sihlala siziva sinetyala, okanye siziva ngathi sifanelwe kukohlwaywa ngandlela thile.
Kulula kakhulu ukuqala ityala kumntu, kuzo zonke iintlobo zezizathu.
Singaba njalo ndenziwe ndaziva ndinetyala wento esiyenzileyo yokucaphukisa umntu, ngenxa yokuzingca, okanye ngokungakwenzi isabelo sethu somsebenzi kubudlelwane.
Sinokuba netyala lokukhubekeka ngokusebenza kakhulu, ukuchitha kakhulu, ukuchitha ixesha nabanye abantu, okanye nokonwaba okanye ukuzonwabisa xa omnye umntu ephantsi okanye efumana ubunzima.
Unokuthanda (inqaku liyaqhubeka ngezantsi):
- AbaLwimi beeNarcissist basebenzise ukuGweba kunye nokuKhathaza amaxhoba abo
- Amaqhinga ama-6 amaNarcissist asebenzise ngokuchasene namaxhoba abo (ekufanele ukuba uyazi)
- Ukuba ulawula abazali, UNGAZE unyamezele ezi zinto zintathu kubo
- Iindidi ezi-8 zokuLawula abantu onokuthi uhlangane nazo ebomini
- Imida eli-12 ekufuneka uyibeke kubudlelwane bakho
- Kutheni le nto unyango oluthe cwaka lilingana nokuxhatshazwa ngokweemvakalelo kunye nendlela yokuphendula
Iindidi ezi-4 ze-Emotional Blackmail
Ugqirha Phambili uphakamise iindidi ezine ezahlukeneyo zendlela yokubamba abantu esetyenziswa ngabantu kubudlelwane babo.
Umntu unokuthatha enye okanye ezingaphezulu kwezi ndima ukuze akwenzele into ayifunayo.
Ukohlwaya
Olu hlobo lwe-blackmailer luyakwazi ukohlwaya, kwaye alunqikazi ukwenza ingxelo ebhaliweyo ekuxelela ukuba ziya kuba yintoni iziphumo ukuba ubuya kwenza (okanye ungenzi) into ethile.
Isicwangciso abadlala kuso kakhulu luloyiko.
Isohlwayo abasenzileyo isenokuba yiyo nantoni na ekubambeni uthando kunye nokuphelisa ubudlelwane, ukukuthintela ekuboneni abanye abantu ababalulekileyo ebomini bakho, ukuya kwizohlwayo zemali.
Ukunyanzelwa ngokweemvakalelo kunokusekwa kwisoyikiso sokohlwaywa ngokwasemzimbeni kunye nokuphathwa gadalala.
Umntu oziphindezelayo
Abanye abantu abakhohlisayo banokusebenzisa iqhinga lokohlwaya (okanye basongele ukohlwaya) ngokwabo, besazi ukuba liyakwenza ukuba iqabane labo lisokole.
Esona sixhobo siphambili sokuhlasela lityala (okanye ithemba lokuziva unetyala onokuthi ujongane nalo ukuba isigunyaziso silandele izoyikiso zabo), kodwa bazama ukubangela uloyiko (lokuba umntu omkhathaleleyo uza kwenzakalisa).
Imizekelo yoku ingabandakanya ukugrogrisa ngokwenzakalisa okanye nokuzibulala ukuba ngaba ubashiyile okanye ubanga ukuba indlela oziphethe ngayo iya kubenza badandatheke xa ungazingisa nayo.
Umguli
Abagulayo babamba usizi lwabo phezu kwentloko yamaqabane abo njengendlela yokubenza benze into abayifunayo.
Banokubanga ukuba ukugula okanye imeko yengqondo sisiphoso somnye umntu, okanye baxelele amaqabane abo ukuba ukuba abayenzi le nto bayifunayo baya kuva ubunzima ngenxa yoko.
Baxhomekeke kumxube woloyiko (ukuba intlalo-ntle yabo iza kusokola), uxanduva (abaphilanga ngoko ke kufuneka ubancede), kunye netyala (ukuba ungaziva ungonwabanga ukuba baye bahlupheka) ukufumana indlela yabo.
Ngamanye amaxesha balindela amaqabane abo ukuba abenako ukubona ukuba yintoni engalunganga kubo ngaphandle kokuxelelwa… 'ukuba ubundithanda ngenene, uyazi.'
Isitshisi
Ngelixa zonke ezinye iintlobo zempatho-mbi yeemvakalelo zingaphezulu kweendlela 'zokuncamathela', le yindlela 'yomnqathe'.
Oku kuyathembisa ngohlobo lomvuzo, nokuba ubambekile okanye awuphatheki. Nangona umvuzo awunakufane ubonakale.
Uloyiko (lokuphoswa ngumvuzo), uxanduva (babuze kakuhle kwaye banikezela umvuzo), kunye netyala (uya kuziva ungonwabanga xa usithi hayi) konke kuya kuthi kubandakanyeke kwinqanaba elithile.
Bayakucela ukuba wenze into njengembuyekezo yenye into, kodwa ayisoloko iyintengiso efanelekileyo.
Ngelixa abanye abakhohlisi baya kuxhomekeka kwesinye seziqhinga ezi-3 kwaye bawele kwelinye lala mahlelo ama-4 (eyona bayifumeneyo isebenze), abanye baya kutshintshela phakathi kwabo, batyhale onke amaqhosha akho ade afumane indlela.
Iimpawu ezi-6 ezingakumbi zokuBlackmail ngokweemvakalelo
Ukuba usebudlelwaneni ne-blackmailer yeemvakalelo, emva koko ukufunda oku kungasentla kungacwangcisa iintsimbi ezimbalwa zealam.
Kodwa nantsi eminye imiqondiso ekufuneka uyijongile ukuba unawo nawaphi na amathandabuzo okuba usebudlelwaneni nomkhohlisi, okanye kufuneka uhlangane nenye kwixa elizayo.
1. Uyazi nzulu.
Kangangoko unokuzama Zixokise okanye ukufumana kunzima ukuvuma ukukrokrela kwakho kubahlobo okanye kusapho lwakho, uyazi ezantsi xa umntu onaye edlala ngeemvakalelo zakho ukuze afumane le nto ayifunayo.
Mamela ezo mvakalelo zingagungqiyo emngxunyeni wesisu sakho kwaye ngekhe uye kude kakhulu.
2. Bathanda ukuqhayisa.
Abantu abakhohlisayo badla ngokuthetha phandle ngendlela abahle ngayo… kuba bayakholelwa ngokwenene!
Ukuba umntu ubonakala eswele ukuthozama okufanelekileyo, lowo ngumqondiso omkhulu wesilumkiso.
3. Bayasithanda isandi selizwi labo.
Abaqhayisi nje, kodwa bathetha kakhulu, belawula iincoko, kanye njengoko bezama ukongamela iqabane labo.
Abangomphulaphuli olungileyo kwaphela.
izinto zokwenza udikwe ekhaya
4. Abalunganga ekuthatheni iingcebiso / ukugxekwa.
Ngaphakathi kubo bayakhuseleka, nangona bexhoba ukungazithembi nokuba sesichengeni.
Baye bajonge nayiphi na ingcebiso abayinikiweyo njengesithuko kubukrelekrele babo kunokuba iyintoni.
Kwaye inkosi ikuncede ukuba uzama ukubagxeka, nokuba uyakholelwa ukuba yingxelo eyakhayo.
5. Bayazigxeka izimvo zabanye baze badlale impumelelo yabo.
Abafuni ukuba abanye abantu bajongeke bhetele kunabo, ke bayenza injongo yabo kukuhlazisa izinto ezithethwa ngabanye abantu.
Kananjalo abanakho ukunyamezela ukubona abanye abantu bephumelela kwaye bephumelela xa bengekho, ngakumbi iqabane, kwaye bayasokola ukufihla umona wabo.
Ngokusisiseko, konke malunga nabo.
6. Bavuthela kushushu kubanda.
Yonke into i-hunky dory ngelixa befumana indlela yabo, kodwa ukuba kujongeka ngathi imimoya iyatshintsha okanye bafumana uxhathiso kumaqabane abo, banokuhamba ukusuka kwi-zero ukuya kwi-mad ngemizuzwana ethe tyaba.
Bayonwaba kuphela xa bekwazi ukuphatha izinto ngendlela abafuna ngayo, kwaye bayazisebenzisa Ukutshintsha kwemood njengendlela yokugcina iqabane labo kwiinzwane zabo.
Ukukhanya okuthe ngcembe kokungcungcuthekiswa ngokweemvakalelo, ngelishwa, kuyimeko yekhosi kuninzi lobudlelwane.
Kodwa ukuba ufumanise ukuba le ndlela yokuziphatha iye yangumfuziselo ongalunganga ongathath'into kuwe unokuba kubudlelwane obuhlukumezayo.
Nokuba yeyiphi na indlela, ukuqonda izinto ezintathu ezisisiseko-uloyiko, uxanduva, ityala- kunye neendidi ezi-4 zobundlobongela onokuthi ujongane nazo kunokukunceda ukuba uphathe ngcono imeko.
Ngaba awuqinisekanga ukuba ungayiphatha njani into ebangelwa liqabane lakho? Thetha kwi-Intanethi kwingcali yobudlelwane kwi-Relationship Hero enokukunceda ufumane izinto. Ngokulula.
Eli phepha linamalungu onxibelelwano. Ndifumana ikhomishini encinci ukuba ukhetha ukuthenga nantoni na emva kokucofa kuyo.
