Ilizwe le-narcissists´ linzima. Isiphithiphithi abanaso sidida abantu ababangqongileyo malunga nokuba kuqhubeka ntoni. Indlela abaziphethe ngayo ibaluleke kakhulu kangangokuba kukho isigama esithile esifunekayo ukuze uyiqonde.
Nanga amagama amathandathu aphuma 'kulwimi lwaseNarcissus' ukuze uyiqonde ngcono indlela abaziphethe ngayo kwaye ubachazele abanye.
Ndingahlala kule quiz yolwalamano
Isaladi yamagama
Eli binzana lisetyenziselwa ukuchaza uthotho lwamagama angadibaniyo ngaphakathi komxholo wesivakalisi okanye intetho, kwaye angahambelani nombuzo okanye incoko abasuka kuyo.
Imvelaphi yayo ivela kunyango lwengqondo, ichaza indlela abantu abanesifo sengqondo esenza ukuba bathethe ngamanye amaxesha. Bazama ukwenza izivakalisi kwaye bazivakalise, kodwa ingqondo ayikwazi ukwenza kunye nokusebenzisa is syntax efanelekileyo. Iziqeshana zamabinzana ezingenangqondo.
Kutheni le nto ii-narcissists ziyisebenzisa?
- Kubonakala ngathi bayaphendula umbuzo-ndiyathetha, uyathetha-nokuba abayazi impendulo. Iqinisekisa ukuba bafumana igama lokugqibela. Kukhuphiswano lwe-hyper banokuguqula nantoni na ibe lukhuphiswano. Kukuthetha ngomlomo, hayi abantu abadala ababini abanencoko eqhelekileyo.
- Ilawula imeko yexhoba kwaye ivelise ukudideka. Ngokungaqondakali kwabo kweelwimi, babangela ukungaqiniseki kunye nokungabikho koncedo kwixhoba ukuze banikezele kwaye bavuleke ngakumbi kwiingcebiso. Uninzi lwee-narcissists zinolwazi lwendalo malunga indlela yokusebenzisa ulwimi ukukhohlisa kwaye bafumane ixhoba labo kwimeko apho 'abenzele inceba' (Kubonakala ngathi bonke baya kwisikolo esinye ukuze bafunde ezi zinto).
- Ukucaphukisa ngokungaginyisi mathe imo engathandekiyo, ukwenza izinto kwixhoba, ukuba ngumntu okhohlakeleyo, onganyanisekanga, oziphethe kakubi, ...
Iinkawu ezibhabhayo
Eli gama laqulunqwa ukusuka kumdlalo bhanyabhanya 'IWizard yeOz,' apho igqwirha elikhohlakeleyo lithumela phezu kweenkawu zalo ezindizayo ukuba ziphazamise uDorothy.
Iinkawu eziphaphayo ngabo bantu basetyenziswa yi-narcissist njengezixhobo ukuze bafumane oko akufunayo. Ukuba, umzekelo, i-narc ifuna ukuqala iphulo lokuthintela ixhoba, iya kusebenzisa iinkawu eziphaphazelayo ukuba zenze umsebenzi omdaka, njengokuhambisa ubuxoki, ukuxhaphaza okanye ukuhlukumeza ixhoba.
Zimbini iindidi zeenkawu eziphaphazelayo: eyona inesidima kwaye ikholelwa ngokungaboniyo kubuxoki be-narcissist, kunye ne-cynical eceba ukwenza i-narcissist. Iinkawu ezibhabhayo zihlala ziba lusapho okanye izihlobo ze-narcissist.
U-rusev no-lana basatshatile
Ingqondo yokuDissonance
Isazi ngengqondo uLeon Festinger wayengowokuqala ukuchaza ithiyori yokungaqondani kakuhle kwengqondo. Kuthetha umbono wokungahambelani phakathi kweengcinga ezimbini ngaxeshanye ezinokuba nefuthe elibi kwizimo zengqondo okanye ekuziphatheni.
Amaxhoba afumana uxinzelelo olusisigxina ezingqondweni zawo lokufumana imiyalezo emibini eyahlukileyo nengqubanayo ngexesha elinye. Kwelinye icala, icala leemvakalelo zengqondo (ngaphambili linxiliswe yi-oxytocin overdose thanda ibhombu ) uthi i-narcissist ngumntu olungileyo, othandekayo, olungileyo. Kwelinye icala, uthotho lwezibakala zikhokelela umntu ekubeni agqibe ngokusesikweni ukuba i-narcissist iyaxoka, iyabakhohlisa, iyabakhohlisa kwaye iyabahlaza.
Iziphumo eziqhelekileyo zokungazithembi uxinzelelo, uxinzelelo, ityala, umsindo, unxunguphalo kunye / okanye iintloni. Amaxesha amaninzi, amaxhoba awela ekuzikhohliseni ukuze ayeke ukuziva ukuba uneengxaki. Okukhulu kutyalo-mali lwexesha kunye neemvakalelo kubudlelwane (umzekelo, masithi ixhoba litshatile kwaye linomntwana kunye narcissist), kokukhona ixhoba liya kuthambekela ekuzikhohliseni ukuze lithethelele isimilo nokuziphatha. ukungaboni ngasonye.
Ngokusisiseko, baya kuthi ngokungazi bavelise iingcinga ezintsha (buxoki kubo) ukubuyekeza, kwaye babhale ngaphezulu, ezo ziphazamisayo.
I-Azape kunye neNkwenkwe egolide
I-narcissist ayinabo abantwana yokubabonisa uthando olungenamiqathango, njengaye nawuphi na utata okanye umama oqhelekileyo. I-narcissist inabantwana ukuze ifumane umthombo omtsha wonikezelo lwe-narcissistic.
AbakwaNarcissists bajonge abantwana babo, kwaye ababoni njengabantu, kodwa njengezandiso zabo. Abantwana bomzali ongakhathaliyo abafumani luthando, kodwa ubuzwilakhe obufihlwe njengokuvunywa okanye ukungamkelwa. Kusapho apho kukho utata okanye umama ongathandekiyo, abantwana baya kudlala indima, eya kuthi yabelwe i-narcissist: inkwenkwe yegolide kunye ne-Azazeli.
Inkwenkwe egolide ngoyena mntwana umthandayo we-narcissist, oya kuthi abonakalise isiqu sakhe. Kumzali we-narcissistic, inkwenkwe egolide igqibelele, ihlala yenza konke ngokuchanekileyo, ayinasiphako kwaye ayenzi mpazamo. I-narcissist iyaphatha, iyateketisa, kwaye ikhusele umntwana wegolide, nokuba akaziphathi kakuhle. Umntwana wegolide ufunda, ukuqala xa emncinci, ukufuna unyango olukhethekileyo, ukutyhola abanye ngeempazamo zakhe, ukuphatha ngobuqhetseba nokuxoka, esazi ukuba abayi kohlwaywa ngumzali wakhe ongathandekiyo lo gama nje / Uyathobela kwaye uyamdumisa.
I-Azazele ngoyena mntwana uzondwa kakhulu ngumnqandi weegusha omnyama wosapho. U-narcissist ucinga ukuba i-scapegoat yenza yonke into engalunganga njengomvukeli okrwada kwaye ongenambulelo. Lo mntwana, ngokuchasene nomntwana wegolide, unetyala kuzo zonke iingxaki zosapho. Utata okanye umama ongakhathaliyo uya kugxeka, ahlazise, angamkeli, kwaye abeke ityala ku-Azazeli, nokuba lo mntwana akenzanga nto imbi.
Ukufunda okubaluleke ngakumbi kwe-narcissist (inqaku liyaqhubeka ngezantsi):
- Iimaski ezi-6 i-Narcissist inokuthi inxibe (kunye nendlela yokuzibona)
- Izinto ezi-8 i-Narcissist ayinakukwenza yona (okanye nabani na ongomnye)
- Indlela yokujongana neNarcissist: Ekuphela kwendlela eQinisekisiweyo yokuSebenza
- Ngaba Uyaphazama iMacaavellianism yeNarcissism?
- Ukuqinisekisa ngokunyanga amaxhoba okuxhatshazwa
- Ukususwa kubuntu: Inkqubo yooNarcissists kunye neeSociopaths zokuphatha kakubi abanye
Ukuhamba ngaphezulu
Igama elithi 'hoovering' livela kwinto eyaziwa njenge-vacuum cleaner. Yindlela yokusebenzisa ubuqhetseba esebenzisa i-narcissist ukubuyisa ixhoba (amaxhoba) lakhe, ukubabuyisela ebomini bakhe Ukuphathwa kakubi ngokweemvakalelo .
Ukuba ukhe wazibandakanya ne-narcissist, kukulungele ukuqonda kwaye ujongane nesi sigaba sokukhohlisa njengenxalenye yobudlelwane bakho. Ukuhamba ngenyawo kunokwenzeka kwiinyanga ezimbalwa emva kokuba umhambisi ekuyekile (okanye wohlukene nabo), okanye ngamanye amaxesha kudlula iminyaka ngaphambi kokuba bakukhangele kwaye bazame ukukubuyisela umva.
Kutheni ndiziva ndisisidenge
Le yimizekelo yokubhola (kuyilo olukhulu, njengoko ubona):
- Ufumana umyalezo usithi bakhathazekile ngawe: Ufuna ukwazi ukuba unjani, uziva njani, ukuba unoxinzelelo, ulusizi, njalo njalo. Ukhohlisa ukuze abone ukuba uyawa kwakhona kwaye ubuyele umva kuye / kuye.
- Unxibelelana ngokungathi akukho nto yenzekileyo: “Unjani? Ubusenza ntoni?' Unixelela izinto ezimehleleyo ngokungathi akukho nto ibiqhubeka phakathi kwenu nobabini. Uyakubiza okanye akubhalele umhla wokuzalwa kwakho, ngeKrisimesi, okanye ngezinye iintsuku ezibalulekileyo.
- Ukuphathwa gadalala nabantu besithathu (okt abantwana): 'Ndiyazi ukuba uyandizonda, kodwa xelela umtshana wakho ukuba andikwazi ukuya kumhla wokuzalwa kwakhe, kodwa ndimthanda kakhulu.'
- Unomhlaza, unestroke, okanye ufuna ukuzibulala. Le yiklasi ye-narcissist. Uvavanya ukuba ubakhathalele kangakanani, ukubona ukuba uyabaleka uyokunceda. Kufana nosana olunomsindo, ukujonga ukuba ukukhwaza kakhulu kukhokelela kwingqwalaselo abayifunayo.
- Imiyalezo ebekufanele ukuba yenzelwe omnye umntu: bathumela imiyalezo kuwe 'ngempazamo,' njengoko 'babetyholwa' ukuba yenzelwe omnye umntu (iqabane elitsha, umzekelo) ukukhuthaza impendulo okanye ukudala umona.
- Imiphefumlo engamawele: bayanxibelelana ukuze bakuxelele ukuba ungumphefumlo wabo abangamawele, ukuba wenzelwe omnye nomnye, ukuba uyakuhlala uluthando lobomi bakhe, ongasokuze umfumane umntu onjengaye, ukuba yintoni ubunothando olumsulwa. URomeo ujongeka njengejerk xa uthelekiswa nabo.
Ukukhanyisa ngegesi
Le yipateni yokuxhatshazwa ngokweemvakalelo esetyenziswa ngumnxibelelanisi wexhoba apho ixhoba liqhutywa ngobuqhetseba ukuze lizenze lithandabuze umbono walo, ukugweba okanye inkumbulo. Yenzelwe ukwenza ixhoba ukuba libe nexhala, lidideke, okanye lidandatheke.
Imvelaphi yekota ivela kwimiboniso bhanyabhanya yase-Bhritane yango-1940 ebizwa ngokuba yi “Gaslight” eyalelwa ngu-Thorold Dickinson, esekwe kwisiqwenga seGesi sokuKhanya esibhalwe nguPatrick Hamilton (owaziwa njenge-Angel Street e-USA). Kwimuvi, indoda ilawula umfazi wayo ukuze imenze acinge ukuba uyaphambana ukuze ebe ubutyebi bakhe obufihliweyo.
Ufihla izinto ezinjengemifanekiso kunye nejeli, ngelixa emenza ukuba acinge ukuba nguye onoxanduva, kodwa sele elibele ngayo. Eli binzana libhekisa kukukhanya kwegesi okusetyenziswa ngumyeni kwigumbi eliphezulu ngelixa ekhangela ubuncwane obufihliweyo. Umfazi uyazibona izibane, kodwa umyeni unyanzelisa ukuba uyazicingela.
Eminye yemizekelo yokukhanyiswa kwegesi ngu-narcissist yile:
ngubani otshatileyo
- Ukwenza ngathi akuyiqondi into ethethwa lixhoba okanye ukwala ukumamela.
- Ukuphika into ayithethileyo, kwanangaphambi kwemizuzu ngaphambili, emva koko etyhola ixhoba ngokungaze alimamele.
- Ukutshintsha isifundo esithi akafuni kuthetha ngaloo nto (nokuba bebethetha ngenye into).
- Ukutyhola iqela elixhatshazwayo ngokuba nomfanekiso-ngqondweni ogqithisileyo kwaye 'uhlala emafini.'
- Utyhola elinye iqela ngokuba nomona, ezakho , ndinyanzelisa,… xa ndizama ukutshintsha incoko ngenjongo yokufihla into ayenzileyo.
- Ukulilahla ixhoba limxelela ukuba izimvo zalo ziyahlekisa kwaye zibubuntwana.
- Ukuzama ukulihlukanisa ixhoba ngokumxelela ukuba likholelwa kakhulu kwinto ethethwa ngabanye abantu kunale nto liyithethayo. Uya kuthi azive ebuhlungu kwaye engcatshiwe. Ukuzikhetha yile nto ijongwa yi-narcissist ukuze ixhoba lixhomekeke kuye kuphela.
- Ukuphika izinto abazithethileyo: 'Khange ndithembise / ndithethile.'
Funda nzulu: Ukukhanyisa ngegesi: Imizekelo engama-22 yale Migaqo yokuLawulwa kobuGwenxa * ck
Ukuba uthe wazibona ezi ndlela zokuziphatha komnye umntu okujikelezile (emsebenzini, iqabane lakho, umhlobo wakho, umntu oqhelene naye,…) ukubuyela umva kancinci kancinci uthathe ixesha lokumhlalutya lo mntu, hayi lento ayithethayo. , kodwa kwinto ayenzayo kunye nendlela oziva ngayo xa uhlala nabo.
Umzimba wakho osisilumko uya kukuxwayisa ukuba usengozini yokuba noxinzelelo, ukungazinzi, ukungalali ngokwaneleyo, ukungabi namvakalelo, ukudinwa, ukukhala ngokuluhlaza,… Ukuba lo mntu yinyani, ujongene nomntu isebenza ngokuchasene nawe, kwaye oko kuya kuzama ngazo zonke iindlela ukukuqinisekisa ngokuchaseneyo.
Ngaba ngoku uyaqonda ukuba kwezi zinto zintandathu kubudlelwane (obudlulileyo okanye obukhoyo) ebomini bakho? Ngaba eli nqaku likuncedile ukuba uziqonde ngcono iindlela zedokodisa? Shiya iikhomenti ezingezantsi kunye neengcinga zakho.
