Tsibela ku:
- Ukukhanyisa ngegesi kulwalamano
- Ukukhanyisa ngegesi phakathi koSapho
- Ukukhanyisa ngegesi emsebenzini
- Iimpawu ze-14 zobuqu bokuKhanyisa ngeRhasi
Ngaba kukho umntu owakha wathetha into kuwe eyakunqanda kwaye wakwenza ukuba ubuze impilo yakho?
Ngaba ikwenze wazithandabuza iinkumbulo zakho kunye nokuqonda kwakho ngokwenyani?
Kungenzeka ukuba ube lixhoba lokukhanyisa igesi.
Yintoni ukukhanya kwegesi?
Ukukhanyisa igesi yindlela yokuxhatshazwa ngokweemvakalelo. Enye yezona zinobungozi zikhona. Kuthatha ukujolisa ngokungagungqiyo kwimvakalelo yokuzithemba komntu, ngokuthe ngcembe uyikrwempuzela kude kuye kushiyeka ebuza ukuba ingaba amava abo, ukucinga kwabo, kunye nokuziva kwabo kuyinyani na okanye intelekelelo engqondweni yabo.
Injongo icacile: ukudida nokuphazamisa ixhoba ukuze umenzi wobubi afumane ulawulo olupheleleyo phezu kwabo. Okukhona imbewu yokuthandabuza inokuhlwayelwa kwingqondo yexhoba, kokukhona kuya kusiba lula ukuba umenzi wobubi ayalele zonke iimeko ngendlela athanda ngayo.
Ukukhanya kwegesi kukwajongela phantsi amandla omntu-kunye nomnqweno-wokucela umngeni kwabo baxhaphazayo kuba ngalo lonke ixesha besenza, iipali ziyashukunyiswa kwakhona ukuze kuguqulwe iimpikiswano zabo.
Ekugqibeleni, ixhoba liye lingabi namandla ngenxa yoloyiko kunye nokuthandabuza kangangokuba kulula ukuba benze nantoni na enqwenelwa ngumenzi wobubi. Baphulukana nawo wonke umlo wabo kwaye babe ngoonodoli abazekelisayo beenkosi zabo ezixhaphazayo.
Ngubani osebenzisa ukukhanyisa ngegesi?
Ukukhanyisa irhasi licebo eliqeshwe ngabakwa-narcissists, Matshievellians , iinkokeli zonqulo, oozwilakhe, kunye ulawulo freaks . Ngamanye amaxesha, nabantu 'abaqhelekileyo' banokubhenela kuyo ngethemba lokutshintsha izimvo zomnye kwezabo.
Ukukunceda uqonde kwaye uchonge eli qhinga lokukhohlisa, nantsi eminye yemizekelo yokusebenza kwalo.
Ukukhanyisa ngegesi kulwalamano
Mhlawumbi olona hlobo lusetyenziswayo lokukhanyisa ngegesi lelinye iqabane kwisibini. Abo bakulwalamano banokugxininisa kwilizwe langaphandle ukuba luthando kwaye lusondele, kodwa akunjalo. Ewe, ukusetyenziswa kwale ndlela yokusebenzisa ubuqhetseba kuthintela uthando lokwenene nothando.
Iqabane elilawulayo liya kuqala ukufefa ukukhanya kwegesi kancinci kutshintshiselwano kwangoko kubudlelwane. Mhlawumbi okokugqibela ubabona, wavuma ukwenza into ngoMgqibelo, kodwa xa uyizisa kamva ngomyalezo okanye kwifowuni, babuyela umva:
“Hayi, bubudenge, ndatsho ngeCawa. Ndixakekile imini yonke yangoMgqibelo. ”
Oku kubonakala ngathi luluvo olungenatyala kwaye yenye awuyi kubuza kakhulu kuba ukwinqanaba elibethiweyo kwaye mhlawumbi uve nje okanye ukhumbule okungalunganga.
Olu hlobo lwento, lodwa, oko akuthethi ukuba uyakhanyiselwa ngegesi. Kungenzeka ukuba ubukhe weva kakubi, okanye baphosile ukuthetha ngaphandle kwentsingiselo. Ukuba olu hlobo lwesiphithiphithi luba yinto eqhelekileyo, nangona kunjalo, kuya kufuneka uqale ubuze ukuba kutheni.
Njengoko izinto ziqhubeka, unokuqaphela ukungangqinelani okungaphaya phakathi kwento abayithethayo kwiindawo ezahlukeneyo ngexesha. Usenokucebisa ngokuya kwivenkile yokutyela yaseThai ngokuhlwa kuba babekhe bathi bayazithanda izidlo zaseThai. Kuphela, unokufumana le mpendulo:
'Andinguye umlandeli omkhulu waseThai, kodwa ndiyayazi indawo entle yaseMexico ekufuneka sizamile kuyo.'
Ngaba uyaphazama? Ngaba ngomnye umntu owathi bayakuthanda ukutya kwaseThai? Okanye ngaba ibali labo litshintshile phakathi kwangoku nangoku? Ukuba uqinisekile ngokuqinisekile ukuba bavakalise ukuthanda into enye kuphela ukuba bajike bayikhanyele kamva, le isenokuba yindlela yabo yokukubeka ngonyawo lwangasemva kwaye bakuhlazise ekucingeni ukuba awunikeli ngqalelo.
Njengokuba ukukhanya kwegesi kusiwa kwinqanaba elilandelayo, umenzi wobubi uya kuqala ukwenza ukuba nguwe obuya umva kule nto ubuyithetha ngaphambili. Kuxhomekeka ekubeni unexesha elingakanani uyinto, banokuthi okanye bangangakubizi ngokuthe ngqo. Le yingxoxo enye onokuba nayo:
Wena: 'Ndixelele usapho lwam ukuba uza kwisidlo sasemini sePasika. Bayakuvuyela ukudibana nawe. ”
Them: 'Khange sivume ukuba sizokulinda ithutyana ngaphambi kokwenza into yosapho?'
Wena: 'Sasithethile ngalento ngenye imini usithi wonwabile ngokuza.'
Them: “Ndithe kuzakubamnandi ukwazana nabazali bakho, kodwa ndicebise ukuba siphinde sinike enye inyanga. Ubonakala ngathi uyavumelana nam. Yenziwe ngoku, kwaye andifuni ukubaphoxa, ndiza kuza ke. ”
Ewe kunjalo, ngoku zibonakala ngathi zihlala kwindawo yokuhlala ngokuvuma ukuza, nangona besele bethethile kuyo kakade.
Elinye inyathelo eliza kuthathwa ngumenzi wobubi kukuphumelela ekuphenduleni kwiingxelo zakho okanye imibuzo ngobuxoki, ukuqala incoko ngobuxoki malunga nento abayithethileyo okanye oyenzileyo. Unokuva:
“Uyakhumbula usithi ndingaboleka ikhadi lakho letyala? Ewe, ndiyalele nje izihlangu ezitsha. Ndiza kukuhlawula kungekudala. ”
Ngeli xesha, bayila incoko apho ubanike imvume yokusebenzisa imali yakho. Bayazi ukuba khange yenzeke. Uyazi khange yenzeke. Kodwa ukuba uzama ukubachasa malunga noku, baya kuphindaphinda buxoke malunga nokuba babuza njani xa uxakekile upheka kwaye uthe kulungile… okanye elinye ibali elikholelwayo.
kutheni abantu bengakuthandi
Kwakhona, oku kuyilelwe ukukwenza ukuba uzithandabuze kwaye ubavumele ukuba babenolawulo kuwe nobomi bakho, iimvakalelo kunye nezinto onazo.
Njengokuba isisombululo sakho siqala ukuba buthathaka, umxhaphazi uyakuxhomekeka kancinci kobuqhetseba kwaye atshintshele kubuxoki obungenanto. Baza kukuxelela ukuba wena / wenze (okanye awuzange) wenze into, okanye wenze (okanye awuzange) uthethe into. Mhlawumbi uqala ukuhlamba kwaye ushiye igumbi uyokwenza enye into ngelixa ulindile. Xa ubuya, baye bangena kwaye bathatha indawo yakho. Bayakunyanzelisa:
“Ndingene apha kwimizuzu embalwa edlulileyo ndavula iitephu. Kuya kufuneka uyicinge ukuba ucinga. Mhlawumbi undivile ndiyenzile kwaye wawufumana lo mbono engqondweni yakho. ”
Njengokuhlekisa njengoko kuvakala, lo msebenzi wentsomi emsulwa awukho ngaphaya kweendawo ezinokubakho. Ngalo lonke ixesha kusenzeka, ukuzithemba kwakho kuncitshisiwe kancinci kwaye ufikelela kwinqanaba apho ubuza yonke into ingqondo yakho ekuxelela yona.
Ukukhanyisa ngegesi phakathi koSapho
Kwintsapho eguqukayo, olona khokelo lubalulekileyo lokukhanyisa igesi ukusuka kumzali kuye emntwaneni. Ngelishwa, abantwana ngabona basesichengeni kule ndlela yokuxhaphaza kuba umbono wabo wehlabathi ubukhulu becala uphenjelelwa zizinto abazithethayo nabazenzayo abazali.
Umntwana uhlala eyindawo ekugxilwe kuyo ngokuziphatha okukhohlakeleyo ngomnye okanye bobabini abazali kwaye baxelelwa ukuba bohlwaywe okanye bohlwaywe nokuba babetyala. Khawufane ucinge ngemeko apho umzali nomntwana bafike emva kwexesha endlini ngentsasa enye kungenasiphoso somntwana. Umzali anganyanzelisa ukuba yayiyimpazamo yakhe:
“Uza kufika emva kwexesha esikolweni ngoku ngenxa yakho konke ukugcuma kwakho ngale ntsasa. Kutheni ungaziphathi kakuhle kwaye wenze njengoko uxelelwe? ”
Umxholo oqhelekileyo kwiintsapho ezininzi, mhlawumbi, kunye nabantwana abangabantwana, ngamanye amaxesha ukulibaziseka kuya kuba phantsi kubo. Kodwa ukuba amagama anje ngala athethwayo nokuba umntwana akenzanga nto imbi, kukukhanyisa ngegesi. Ifundisa umntwana ukuba banengxaki kwaye abathobeli nokuba abekho ngaphezulu kwakhe nawuphi na omnye umntwana, bejija iinkolelo zabo kunye nokuziqonda kwabo.
Ngokuqhelekileyo abantwana baya kuvavanya imida ebekwe ngabasemagunyeni njengabazali nootitshala. Oku kwenzeka besebancinci kwaye kuyinkqubo ebalulekileyo efundisa abantwana ukuzibamba kunye noxanduva lokuphendula. Ukunyanzelisa imida efanelekileyo ukuba ngumzali osempilweni, kodwa abanye abazali abafuni kuyibona imithetho yabo isophulwa, kangangokuba nobona bulumko buncinane buhlangabezene nesohlwayo esiqatha:
'Ungumntwana ombi kwaye andazi ukuba sizakwenza ntoni ngawe.'
Olu hlobo lwesiteyitimenti lusebenza ukomeleza inkolelo yomntwana yokuba abalunganga ngokwaneleyo. Ikwalatha kwiziphumo ezibi ukuba le ndlela yokuziphatha iqhubeka, idala uloyiko emntwaneni oluthintela umnqweno wabo wokuphanda kunye nokufumanisa ukuba bangobani. Babhalwe amagama kwaye bayakholelwa ukuba le lebhile iyinyani.
Unokuthanda (inqaku liyaqhubeka ngezantsi):
- AbaLwimi beeNarcissist basebenzise ukuGweba kunye nokuKhathaza amaxhoba abo
- Izinto ezi-8 i-Narcissist ayinakuze ikwenzele yona (okanye nabani na ongomnye)
- Indlela yokujongana neNarcissist: Ekuphela kwendlela eQinisekisiweyo yokuSebenza
- Indlela yeGrey Rock yokujongana ne-Narcissist xa kungekho nxu lumano ayisiyiyo inketho
- ICoververt Narcissist: Iintloni, iintlobo eziNgenisiweyo zinokuba ziiNarcissists
- I-Rollercoaster yokubuyisela kwimeko yesiqhelo kwiNarcissistic Abuse
Ukukhanyisa ngegesi akunakwenza nje umntu ukuba abuze iziganeko ebomini babo, kunokuhlwayela imbewu yokuthandabuza malunga neemvakalelo abazifumanayo. Oku kuyinyani ngakumbi ebantwaneni abasaya ngokuhambelana neemvakalelo zabo kunye noko bakuthethayo.
Khawufane ucinge ngemeko apho inja yosapho ethandekayo idlula kwaye umntwana ephazamisekile ziinyembezi ezihamba ngokukhululekileyo. Umzali unokuphosa iimvakalelo zomntwana ecaleni esithi:
“Andazi ukuba kutheni ulila kangaka, zange wayithanda inja. Wenza nje kwaye unyanzela ezinye iinyembezi zengwenya ukuba ziqwalaselwe. Kufuneka ube neentloni ngesiqu sakho xa inguye okhathazeke ngokwenene apha. ”
Kwesinye isiqhulo, umzali ulusebenzise ngokupheleleyo usizi lomntwana kwaye wade wacebisa ukuba kufanele ukuba bazive beneentloni ngenxa yokulahleka kwenja. Baye bamazisa nomntwana ukuba ngabo, umzali, osokolayo ngenene- nokuba bayakhathazeka okanye hayi. Umyalezo ucacile: iimvakalelo zam zibalulekile kuwe.
Njengokuba umntwana ekhula eba ngumntu omdala omncinci kwaye emdala, iifom zokukhanyisa igesi zitshintsha ngandlela thile. Umntwana usenokuba wakhula ekwaziseni ukuba izinto aziqhelekanga kwaye omnye okanye bobabini abazali babo baxhaphaza iminyhadala ukulungiselela inzuzo yabo.
Umzali kufuneka aqhelane neemeko. Enye indlela abanokukwenza ngayo oku kukuxhomekeka kancinane ekukhanyeleni ngokupheleleyo into eyathethwayo okanye eyenziweyo, kodwa befuna ukuba izinto zithathiwe ngaphandle komxholo kwaye zaqondwa phosakeleyo. Amabinzana afana nala aphuma kwimithi:
Ayiyiyo le nto bendithetha yona. Awuqondi ukuba bendizama ukuthini. '
Okanye…
'Wenza elakho ibali ukuze lilingane noko bendikuthethile xa kungenakuba kude nenyaniso.'
Ngokusisiseko, into eyenziwa lolu hlobo lwentetho iphosa ukuthandabuza kwingqondo yomntwana malunga nendlela abatolike ngayo amagama abazali babo (amabinzana afanayo anokusetyenziswa xa izenzo zabo zilithambo lengxabano).
Abahlobo kunye namaqabane athandanayo anokuza kwaye ahambe njengoko umntwana ekhula, kodwa ukubaluleka kwabo kuhlala kuko konke. Umzali uyakuqonda oku, kodwa endaweni yokubhiyozela olu nxibelelwano lunentsingiselo, baya kuzama ukubonakalisa.
Ukukhanyisa ngegesi yenye yeendlela abaza kufuna ukwenza oku. Banqwenela ukweyisela umntwana ukuba abahlobo babo kunye namaqabane abo ababathandi. Ukwenza oku, banokuphalaza amagama anje ngala:
“Uyazi ukuba abahlobo bakho abakuthandi, akunjalo? Bakusebenzisa nje kuba unemoto. ”
“UPatrick uza kukushiya kungekudala, phawula amazwi am. Akakuthandi kwaye ulindele ukuba kufike umntu ongcono. ”
'UDebbie undixelele ukuba yena nabanye abantwana ofunda nabo bakumemela emathekweni kuba benovelwano kuwe.'
“Kutheni uvumela uMichael akuphathe kakubi kangaka? Awuboni ukuba usidla ngawe? ”
Emva kokuva la mabinzana kunye nabanye abafana nawo, umntwana angaqala ukubuza ukuba ziyinyani na ezi zinto. Nokuba bayamazi umzali wabo ukuba ulixoki elikhohlisayo, kunokuba nzima ukungavumeli izimvo zabo ukuba zifike kubo. Njengako konke ukukhanya kwegesi, ityala imbewu yokuthandabuza kwaye ngamanye amaxesha iyakukhula kwaye itshabalalise ubudlelwane obubalulekileyo emntwaneni.
Sixoxe ngentla ngendlela iinkumbulo ezinokusetyenziswa njengesixhobo sokudida umntu kubudlelwane bezothando, kwaye kwenzeka okufanayo kulungiselelo lomzali nomntwana. Kuphela ngeli xesha, mininzi iminyaka apho iinkumbulo zomntwana zinokungagcinwa kakuhle kuba babebancinci ngelo xesha.
Umzali unokukuxhamla koku ngokubalisa kwakhona umcimbi kwaye anyanzelise ukuba 'iinyani' zahlukile kunoko umntwana acinga ukuba ziyiyo. Umzekelo inokuba yimeko apho umntakwenu wakha wangena engxakini esikolweni ngokulwa. Umzali unokukujika oku ngoluhlobo:
“Akundiphelisanga intloko xa wawusemncinci. Kanye ngeloxesha ndibizelwe esikolweni kuba ubhaqwe usilwa. Ndandineentloni kakhulu. ”
Umntwana unokuziva eqinisekile ukuba ngabantakwabo abangena engxakini, kodwa kwakukudala ngoko, ke banokuba baphazama? Ngaba, enyanisweni, ngabo baya edabini? Ukuba bazama ukulungisa umzali wabo, baya kudibana nokukhatywa okukhawulezileyo nokuqinileyo kweli nqanaba kumzali emva kwayo yonke loo nto, bebekhulile kwaye ubungumntwana nje, ke kunjalo bayikhumbula ngcono kunawe.
Xa umntwana ekhula, ukukhanyisa ngegesi kuhlala kusetyenziswa ngumzali ukuzikhusela kwaye aqinisekise ukuba bangumzali olungileyo. Oku kunokubandakanya ukuphinda ubalise elidlulileyo okanye uxoke okwangoku. Masithi, umzekelo, ukuba umntwana ngoku ungumzali ngokwakhe kwaye le ncoko iza:
Umntwana: 'Zange watsho nakanye ukuba mhle kangakanani umzukulwana wakho.'
Mzali: 'Ububhanxa, nditsho ukuba uyathandeka ngalo lonke ixesha.'
Umzali kufuneka ayithethe lento kuba, kulungile, bebeya kubonakala njengomzali notatomkhulu ombi ukuba khange benze njalo, kwaye ayisiyiyo le nto baya kuyivuma. Bubuxoki obulula, kodwa kwakhona bubeka umntwana kunyawo lwangasemva kuba kunzima ukungqina.
Ngelixa imizekelo kweli candelo ibhekisa ngqo kubudlelwane phakathi komzali nomntwana, ukukhanya kwezibane kunokubandakanya nawaphi na amalungu osapho. Abantakwenu, oomalume, oomalume, abazala, oomakhulu nootatomkhulu, okanye ubudlelwane obukude- akukho mda wokuba inokwenzeka nini kwaye njani.
Ukukhanyisa ngegesi emsebenzini
Nokuba ngumphathi okanye umntu osebenza naye, kunokwenzeka ukuba uzifumanise ukhanyiselwa igesi kwindawo yokusebenza. Ihlala isetyenziswa njengeqhinga lokufumana okanye ukugcina amandla, inokuqhuba ukuba uphelelwe lithemba ukuba uyayivumela.
Emva kokucelwa ukuba wenze umsebenzi othile, uxela kumphathi wakho ukuba wenziwe, kuphela ukuba baphendule:
'Kutheni uchitha nje ixesha lakho xa bendisithi wenze u-X endaweni yakho?'
Kwaye ukuba uyacaphuka oku (kuyindalo) kwaye uzama ukuzikhusela, unokujamelana nolu hlaselo luqhelekileyo:
'Awucingi ukuba usabela kakhulu nje?'
Okanye masithi wathenjiswa ngokunyusa emva kwexesha elithile, kuphela ukuba uxelelwe oku xa usizisa nomphathi wakho:
“Andizange ndithi ndiza kukunika imali. Ndithe ndiza kuyicinga malunga nokusebenza kwakho kwaye ihlala isilela. ”
Kwaye kukho umntu osebenza naye owenza amayelenqe okunyusa umgangatho phambi kwakho oza kuthi ngokungakhathali alahle eminye yale migca ilandelayo kwincoko yokujongela phantsi ukuzithemba kwakho kwaye akwenze ukuthandabuze ukufaneleka kwakho xa kufikwa kumba wokunyuka kwinqanaba lekhondo lomsebenzi:
“Ndivile umphathi akonwabanga yile ngxelo ubumthumele yona. Umntu usengxakini! '
“Ubungekho kule imeyile? Ndicinga ukuba umphathi akakuthembi ngolu hlobo lolwazi. ”
“Ndithe kuphela kufuneka uphakamise umdlalo wakho kancinane. Jeez, umntu unovakalelo namhlanje! ”
Ewe inokuba zizenzo kunye namagama enza ukukhanya kwegesi. Mhlawumbi bayayicima ikhompyuter yakho ngelixa ukude kwidesika yakho okanye uhambise izixhobo ezithile kwindawo eyahlukileyo kunaleyo uyishiyileyo.
Khumbula, ukukhanya kwegesi kuyilelwe ukukudida kwaye kukwenze uzive ungakhuselekanga, kwaye oku kungathatha iindlela ezininzi ezahlukeneyo.
Isithako esifihlakeleyo
Kwezinye iimeko-nangona ingezizo zonke-isiphithiphithi sikhuliswa kusetyenziswa ubuchule obulula.
Kude kube ngoku, siphonononge iimeko apho umenzi wobubi ngokubanzi athetha amaxhoba phantsi, ebenza babonakale belibala okanye bebuthathaka okanye bengonelanga. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba oku bekuhlala kunjalo, ixhoba liya kuzama ukubalekela ubudlelwane-nokuba liqabane, umsebenzi, okanye iyunithi yosapho.
Kungenxa yoko le nto, ukunqanda oku kunokwenzeka, umenzi wobubi ngamanye amaxesha unokwenza i-180 epheleleyo kwaye athulule umtsalane, ububele, kunye nokuziphatha kothando. Oku kuyenzayo kukugcina ixhoba linethemba lesiphumo esihle. Ibabonisa ukuba izinto azizizo zonke ezimbi kwaye banokuthi banamathele izinto kolunye usuku.
Ineziphumo ebezingalindelekanga ezinamandla xa kuziwa ekudidekeni nasekuphazamiseni ixhoba. Ngokuthandeka ngamanye amaxesha, umenzi wobubi uhlwayela imbewu engakumbi yokungaqiniseki kwixhoba lexhoba. Endaweni yokwazi ukuba balindele ntoni, ixhoba liyakuhlala lingaqinisekanga ukuba loluphi uhlobo lomxhaphazi wabo eliya kujongana naye yonke imihla. Ngaba iya kuba intle okanye ikhohlakele?
Eli nqaku lokugqibela liqheleke ikakhulu kubudlelwane bezothando apho umbono wothando yeyona nto ibambe ixhoba lisebukhobokeni kwiqabane lalo.
Iimpawu ze-14 zobuqu bokuKhanyisa ngeRhasi
Eminye yale mizekelo ingasentla ingavakala ngathi iqhelekile.
Ukuba bayayenza, kukho ithuba elihle lokuba impilo yakho yengqondo ihlupheke ngenxa yokukhohliswa kwengqondo.
Ukuba ucinga ukuba ulixhoba lokukhanyisa ngegesi, nantsi eminye imiqondiso yokuzijonga ngaphakathi kuwe enokukuqinisekisa oku.
1. Ujolisa kwiimpazamo zomlinganiswa wakho.
Enye yeenjongo eziphambili zerhasi kukukwenza ucinge kancinci ngawe. Ukujija indlela ozijonga ngayo kwaye uyenze ibe mbi ngakumbi.
Ke unokufumanisa ukuba iingcinga zakho zihlala zijikwa ngaphakathi njengoko ucinga kakhulu ngeempawu zakho ezimbi ozibonayo.
Usenokukholelwa ukuba unobubi okanye wonakele ngokwemvelo kwaye iziphene zakho zikwenza ungathandeki okanye ungathandeki.
Isizathu sokuba umbane oqaqambileyo azame ukwenza oku kukwenza ukuba ungabinako ukubashiya. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, mhlawumbi ucinga ukuba akekho omnye umntu onokukufuna.
2. Ukuzithemba kwakho kuphantsi.
Oku kuhamba ngesandla kunye nenqaku lokuqala. Uneembono eziphantsi okanye isiqu sakho kangangokuba uyayamkela into yokungahloniphi kumxhaphazi wakho nakuwe.
Awunantembelo kubuchule bakho kwaye awukholwa ukuba ufanele ulonwabo.
Ngenxa yoko, uyawala amathuba amatsha okunxulumana, ukuqhubela phambili kwikhondo lomsebenzi wakho, okanye ukukhula njengomntu.
Kwaye mhlawumbi unamaxhala rhoqo kuba awuziva ukwazi ukujamelana neyona mingeni mncinci.
3. Uyaqikelela wena ngalo lonke ixesha.
Ngaba ubisi ulubeke ekhabhathini kunye necereal kwifriji ngempazamo? Kungcono uye kujonga.
Unentembelo encinci kwimemori yakho nakwindlela yokusebenza njengomntu oqhelekileyo kangangokuba uhlala ucinga ukuba wenze into engalunganga.
Ewe, umntu owenza ukukhanya kwegesi kwakuthetha ukuba yenzeke lento kuba yenza ukuba kube lula ukukhohlisa njengoko benokukhanyela izinto, benze ubuxoki, bakubize uphambene… kwaye uyakukholelwa.
4. Uhlala uziva udidekile.
Ngaphandle kwesibini ukuthelekelela ngokwakho, uziva udidekile malunga neenkalo ezininzi zobomi bakho bemihla ngemihla.
Oku kunokuchaphazela izinto ezithile okanye uluvo ngokubanzi lokuba amandla akho engqondo awanako konke.
5. Ukufumanisa kunzima ukwenza izigqibo.
Akumangalisi ke ngoko, ukuba awukwazi ukwenza nezona zincinci izigqibo ngokwakho.
Awukholelwa nje ukuba uyakwazi ukukhetha ngokuchanekileyo kwaye uhlala ufuna ukubuyela emntwini ukuze akuxelele ukuba wenze ntoni.
Umntu ojika kuye, uyilo, ngumlaseli. Bazibeka njengesisombululo seengxaki zakho.
Kwakhona, oku kukwenza uxhomekeke ngakumbi kubo kwaye kunokwenzeka ukuba uhlale nabo kuba ungazi ukuba ungayenza njani into ngaphandle kokhokelo lwabo.
6. Uxolisa kakhulu.
Ucinga ukuba xa umntu enetyala, ngokuqinisekileyo ngokuqinisekileyo nguwe.
Ke uxola ngalo lonke ixesha, nokuba iphoso likabani na.
Ewe kunjalo, oku kudlala kanye ezandleni zombane ngoba banokuphepha ukuthatha naluphi na uxanduva ngezenzo zabo, besazi ukuba uza kugqiba uxolise kubo ngenye indlela.
7. Uziva uphoxekile.
Uziva ngathi abanye abantu bayaphoxeka kuwe. Heck, nidanile ngenxa yenu.
Oku kubuyela kukungazithembi kunye nenkolelo yakho yokuba uneziphene ngeendlela ezininzi. Engqondweni yakho, awulunganga ngokwaneleyo kulo naliphi na inqanaba.
Akumangalisi ukuba uzive ufuna uxolo ngalo lonke ixesha.
8. Uziva unqanyulwe kumntu owawukade unguye.
Kwenye indawo kwiinkumbulo zakho zangaphambili, kukho umntu owahlukileyo ohlala emzimbeni wakho.
Yahlukile wena. Kodwa awukwazi nje ukuzazi kubo.
Uziva unqamlezwe ngokupheleleyo kubuntu bakho bangaphambili kuba ubona le nto uyiyo ngoku (okanye, endaweni yoko, ucinga ntoni ngoku) kwaye ayingqinelani nobani ngelo xesha.
Ngandlel 'ithile, kufana nokujonga emva komnye umntu ngokupheleleyo. Ubomi obudlulileyo.
9. Ubeka izizathu zokuziphatha kwe-gaslighter.
Xa umbane eziphatha gwenxa xa ejikeleze nabanye, uyakhawuleza ukubathethelela okanye ubathethelele.
Engqondweni yakho kufanelekile ukuba uphathwe ngale ndlela awuyi kuva igama elibi elichasene nabo.
10. Uyaxoka kuwe nakwabanye ukunqanda ungquzulwano.
Ukhule wazenyanya ukungqubana kwalo naluphi na uhlobo kuba sele uqhele ukuba phantsi kwaye woyisiwe.
Ke uyaxoka ukuze uphephe nokuba kukungavani okuncinci.
Uthi ewe kwizinto onokuthi hayi kuzo. Uthobela izicelo okanye iimfuno zabanye ngaphandle kokubabuza.
Unokwenza ngokuchasene nokuziphatha kwakho kunye neenkolelo ukuba zigcina uxolo.
11. Uyazibuza ukuba u-ethe-ethe kakhulu.
Olunye lweempazamo zomlinganiswa onokuzibona kwinqanaba # 1 kukungakhathali.
Usenokukholelwa ukuba uyasabela ngokugqithiseleyo kwiziganeko nakoko kuthethwa ngabanye kwaye yile nto ibangela uninzi lweengxaki ojamelana nazo.
12. Uhlala phantsi xa ujikeleza irhasi.
Nanini na xa lo mntu engena egumbini, unokukuva ukuba umzimba wakho uphelile.
Le yindlela abasabela ngayo emzimbeni abaphethwe gadalala ngokweemvakalelo nangokwasengqondweni.
Yinto yempendulo yokulwa nenqwelomoya, ekulungiseleleni ukubanakho kokuqhubeka nokukhanyisa ngegesi.
13. Uva ukuba kukho into engalunganga, kodwa awukwazi ukubeka umnwe wakho kuyo.
Ngaphakathi ezantsi uyazi ukuba into malunga nobudlelwane bakho nalo mntu ayilunganga.
Ingxaki kukuba, awukwazi ukubona iiflegi ezibomvu ezicacileyo kubo bonke abanye abantu. Awuqinisekanga ukuba yintoni le micimbi kwaye ke awazi ukuba ungajongana nayo njani.
Kwaye uyakuhlala unoluvo olukhathazayo lokuba inguwe obekek 'ityala ngemeko elusizi yemicimbi.
14. Awunakuyibona indlela yokuphuma.
Ngenxa yayo yonke imiqondiso ye-13 apha ngasentla, awunakuze ubone izinto zitshintsha. Urhoxile kwisiphelo sakho.
Ukukhanyisa ngegesi sisixhobo
Nokuba ujonge eyiphi indlela, ukukhanya kwegesi sisenzo esibi. Ijolise ekuthobeleni ingqondo yomntu ngendlela enokuthi ibenze babe sengozini kulawulo lomnye okanye kwisindululo.
Inokuchazwa kuphela njengesixhobo kuba ibangela umonakalo omkhulu ngokwasengqondweni nangokweemvakalelo. Yindlela ecacileyo yokuxhatshazwa ngokwasemphefumlweni kunye nokwaphulwa kothando nentlonipho yexhoba.
Ndiyathemba ukuba le mizekelo ingentla iya kukunceda ukuba uchonge iimeko zokukhanyisa ngerhasi ebomini bakho okanye ngaphambili. Ukuyazi ukuba linyathelo lokuqala lokulwa neziphumo zalo eziyingozi.
Khawukhumbule nje: akukho mntu unelungelo lokukukhohlisa ngale ndlela, nokuba luhlobo luni lobudlelwane.
