Ihlabathi lingaba yindawo enzima. Ngamanye amaxesha kuvakala ngathi sihlaselwa macala onke ngaphandle, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha ngaphakathi.
Amadabi esilwa sodwa ezingqondweni zethu zezona zinzima. Kulula Yothuka ziimvakalelo zokuphelelwa lithemba, ukuphelelwa lithemba, okanye ukudideka. Ezo mvakalelo zinokubangela ukuba umntu abaleke kwiingxaki ajongene nazo.
Ngelishwa, oko akusoloko kusebenza. Utshintsho lwembonakalo okanye ukutshintsha imeko inokuba yinto entle, kodwa kwiimeko ezininzi ayizisombululi ngokwenyani ingxaki kwaye iyithintele ukuba ingabuyi kwixesha elizayo.
Singasifumana njani isibindi sokujongana neengxaki kunye noloyiko esisoyika kakhulu?
Wamkele ukungonwabi kunye nokubandezeleka.
Ewe. Ngaba ukwamkela ukungonwabi kunye nokubandezeleka? Leyo yingxelo eyomeleleyo, akunjalo?
Uninzi lwezinto ezintle nezintle ebomini ngokuqinisekileyo ziya kubandakanya okanye zizise ukubandezeleka. Akukho ndlela yokwenyani kuloo nto.
Ngaba uyafuna ukufumana uthando olunzulu? Ke kuya kufuneka uyamkele into yokuba ekugqibeleni uya kuziva ulahleko olunzulu.
Ngaba uyafuna ukunciphisa umzimba? Ke kuya kufuneka wamkele indlela otya ngayo kunye nendlela ophila ngayo ukuze kwenzeke oko.
Ngaba uyafuna ukufumana iingxaki zengqondo phantsi kolawulo? Ke kuya kufuneka ukwamkele ukungahambi kakuhle okuza nonyango kunye noogqirha.
Ngaba uyafuna umsebenzi ongcono? Emva koko kuya kufuneka ukwamkele ukungaqiniseki kunye nokuphazamiseka kokukhangela umsebenzi, udliwanondlebe, okanye uqeqesho lomsebenzi omtsha.
Akukho nto ifunyanwa ngaphandle kokubandezeleka, kodwa abantu abaninzi bazimisele ukufumana ulonwabo oludlamkileyo, oluyintsomi kangangokuba bonakalisa amandla abo okufumana izinto ezinentsingiselo.
Kutheni abantu behamba bebuya
Kunqabile ukuba nabani na afezekise nantoni na ngaphandle komsebenzi omninzi, ngamanye amaxesha kuthetha ukubandezeleka ngenxa yezinto ezidinayo nezingonwabisiyo.
Ukujongana neengxaki zakho ngenkalipho, kuya kufuneka uyamkele into yokuba awuzukuziva ukhululekile. Ayizukuba yinkqubo elula, eyonwabileyo, okanye emnandi.
Kwaye ngaphambi kokuba siqhubeke, i-caveat. Oku akuthethi ukuba 'yonke into yenzeka ngesizathu' okanye ukuba ubusokola ngokuphathwa ngokungenantlonipho okanye ngokuxhatshazwa. Oko akuthethi ukuba ufanele ukubandezeleka. Kuthetha kuphela ukuba utshintsho luza kuzisa iintlungu kunye nalo. Akukho kuyiphepha.
Jika kuyo nayiphi na inethiwekhi yenkxaso onokuba unayo.
Zininzi iihambo ebomini Ndedwa , kodwa akufuneki zibekho. Kukho abanye abantu phaya abakwiindlela ezifanayo, abaye benza uhambo olufanayo, abazabalazela ukufezekisa iinjongo ezifanayo.
Kusenokubakho nabantu abakungqongileyo onokuthi uxhomekeke kubo njengoko usebenza ukoyisa nayiphi na imiqobo ozama ngamandla ukuba ungayibaleki.
Ayizizo zonke iindlela ezifuna ukutshiswa wedwa, nokuba iyinto yobuqu. Kukho abantu phaya sele behambile iindlela osele uziqalisile.
tyikitya intombazana ikuthanda ngokwenene
Unokwazi ukufumana inkxaso kwimimandla yempilo yengqondo, unyango, amaqela enkxaso, okanye nakumaqela eendaba ezentlalo.
Kodwa, kufuneka ulumke kwaye usebenzise umgwebo ononophelo. Ukuba yimpilo yengqondo okanye umceli mngeni onxulumene nomothuko osebenzela ukuwoyisa, licebo elihle ukuhlala kwiindawo ezilawulwa ngononophelo apho iingcali zikhona ukuba kunokwenzeka. Amaqela abathengi anokuba luncedo, kodwa banokuba nazo iindawo ezingathandekiyo okanye ezinobundlobongela ngamanye amaxesha.
Usapho kunye nabahlobo, ngelixa banokukuthanda kwaye bekhathalele ngawe, basenokungabi nalo uhlobo lolwazi olufunekayo ukukunika inkxaso efanelekileyo kunye nokuqonda kuhambo lwakho.
Kwaye ngamanye amaxesha akhona apho sinokuzifumana sisodwa kwindawo enqamlezileyo ebomini bethu kwaye inkxaso yobungcali inokuba kuphela kwendlela elungileyo.
Unokuthanda (inqaku liyaqhubeka ngezantsi):
- Iindlela ezili-9 zokukhula kwengqondo iya kubuguqula ubomi bakho (kunye nendlela yokuphucula enye)
- Isizathu esiyiyo sokuba woyike ukusilela (kwaye kufuneka wenze ntoni ngayo)
Yenza isicwangciso esinexesha elifutshane kunye nelizayo.
Uloyiko luhlala lubangelwa kukungazi, ukungabikho kolwazi malunga nesifundo esithile. Olu loyiko luhlala luyinto ephambili xa abantu bebaleka iingxaki zabo.
Sinokusebenzela ukuphelisa olo loyiko ngokufunda okungaphaya malunga nomceli mngeni esijongene nawo kuphela, kodwa nenkqubo yokujongana nokoyisa.
I-Therapist yindawo entle ukuba uqale ngokwakha kolu lwazi, kuba unokuzithemba ngokubanzi kwizalathiso ezilungileyo kwezinye iincwadi kunye nezixhobo malunga nayo nayiphi na ingxaki ofuna ukuyoyisa.
Banokukunceda ukuba uphuhlise ikhondo elifanelekileyo lezenzo apho uya kuba nakho ukumisela inkqubela yakho ekuphumeleleni kwakho. Yilapho iinjongo zexesha elifutshane kunye nexesha elide zingena emfanekisweni.
Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba ube nayo iinjongo zakho ufuna ukulandela njengoko usebenza ngokwakho. Ayikukuboneleli kuphela ngesakhelo sokufezekisa, kodwa banokukugcina ukhuthazeka xa kunzima.
Ungajonga ngasemva kwizinto ozifezileyo, ukuba kude kangakanani, kwaye uyazi ukuba unamandla, amandla kunye namandla okuphumeza ngakumbi.
Ukumiselwa kweenjongo yinxalenye ebalulekileyo yenkqubela phambili. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, uza kwazi njani xa ufikile kwindawo oya kuyo ukuba awuyazi into oya kuyo? Kwaye xa usenza njalo, thatha ixesha lakho ukubhiyozela impumelelo yakho ngaphambi kokubeka iinjongo ezintsha!
Phicotha isangqa somhlobo wakho kunye nabo bakufutshane kuwe.
Baninzi abantu ngaphandle kwihlabathi abangenanto yakwenza nenkxaso. Banokubona kuphela umhlaba ngeendlela ezimnyama okanye ezimfiliba kwaye banyanzelisa ukosulela wonke umntu obangqongileyo ngokungakhathali okufanayo.
Kukwakho nabantu phaya abafuna ukubona abanye besokola njengabo okanye bejongela phantsi iinzame kunye nempumelelo yabanye. Ingqondo 'yononkala ebhakedeni', apho elinye unonkala liya kuzama ukuzikhupha kwaye elinye unonkala libuyisele kulo.
Kuya kufuneka ujonge ixesha elide kubantu abakufutshane kuwe. Uya kuba nexesha elinzima kakhulu lokujongana neengxaki zakho kwaye uziphucule ukuba ngabahlobo bakho okanye iqabane lakho elithandanayo ndikujongela phantsi , ujongela phantsi iinzame zakho, okanye ulutshaba kuwe lokuba uziphucule.
Kuyinyani ebuhlungu yokuba abantu abaninzi bathambekele ekuphulukaneni nabahlobo xa beqala ukugxila ekuphuculeni.
Ukuziphucula kunzima. Kwaye xa uthatha isigqibo sokuphucula wena okanye isikhundla sakho, abanye abantu abakungqongileyo banokucinga ngokungafanelekanga ukuba uhlasela ukhetho lwabo okanye ukungafuni ukuphucula. Awunakho ukuvumela ukuba ungene kulolo hlobo lokungakhathali kunye nokuhla kwezinto.
Ngaba oko kuthetha ukuba uya kubagxotha kwaye ubalahle abahlobo bakho? Hayi akunjalo kwakona. Oko kuthetha ukuba kufuneka uqinisekise ukuba abantu abaza kujongela phantsi okanye batshabalalise inkqubela phambili yakho abanawo amandla okanye amandla okwenza oko.
Bubomi bakho, ayingobabo kwaye akukho sizathu sakubeka izimvo ezingenamsebenzi okanye ubundlobongela.
Ngelishwa, ngamanye amaxesha siyaphela kuphelile ubuhlobo obudala kunye nobudlelwane kuba babebangelwe kukungakhathali okwakungabonakali ngelo xesha. Eso sisigqibo onethemba lokuba akusayi kufuneka usenze, kodwa ungothuki xa usenza njalo.
Yenza ukhetho lokuma ulwe.
Yonke utshintsho olunentsingiselo kubomi Iza emntwini ethatha isigqibo sokuba kwanele. Abasafuni ukufumana ubomi ngendlela ababenza ngayo.
Ayinamsebenzi ukuba umntu ubaleka kangakanani okanye ngokukhawuleza, kungekudala okanye kamva, iingxaki zethu ekugqibeleni ziyasifumana. Ngexesha elithile, kuya kufuneka wenze ukhetho lokuma kwaye ulwele ukuphumelela, ngaphandle kwendleko.
Kufuneka ube nguwe oza kwenza ukhetho lokumelana noloyiko lwakho kwaye ulwe nabo. Unokuziva ngathi awunawo amandla okanye amandla okwenza oko, kodwa unayo. Unamandla ngakumbi kwaye ukomelela kunokuba usenokuqonda.
Kodwa kunzima ukuyenza ngokwakho. Ngaba ufuna uncedo lwengcali yezempilo yengqondo eqinisekisiweyo. Banokusebenza njengesikhokelo esihle kakhulu sokoyisa uloyiko kunye neengxaki zakho ukuze uqale ngokuphila ubomi bakho ngokwakho!
ukungaziva ukhululekile kulusu lwakho
Ngaba awuqinisekanga ukuba uza kujongana njani kwaye woyise iingxaki onazo? Thetha kumqeqeshi wobomi namhlanje onokuhamba kwinkqubo. Cofa nje apha ukunxibelelana nenye.
