Ngaba ufumanisa ukuba abantu bathanda ukuthetha ngeziqu zabo, okokuqala nokuphambili?
Okanye mhlawumbi ukhubekise ungaqondanga umntu ngokwabelana ngamava akho xa bezama ukwabelana yabo ibali nawe?
Ingcali kwezentlalo uCharles Derber unike igama lokuziphatha ngale ndlela- Incoko narcissism.
Nangona kuqhelekile ukuba kukuziphatha okungacacanga nokungazi, i-narcissism yencoko ngumnqweno wokuthatha incoko, yenza uninzi lokuthetha, kwaye uguqule ingqalelo yencoko ngokwakho.
UDerber ukholelwa ekubeni “yeyona nto ibalulekileyo ekubonakalweni kwezengqondo eMelika.”
Imibongo yokulahlekelwa lilungu losapho
Incoko ifana nomdlalo wokubamba. Umntu onebhola uyiphosa komnye emva koko bayiphosa emva.
Incoko elungileyo iya kusebenza ngendlela efanayo. Umntu omnye uya kufaka igalelo emva koko umntu abancokole naye azokuxhasa naye. La maqela mabini ayiphosa ibhola yawo yokulinganisa naphambili.
Kodwa abantu banentambo yokuthetha ngeziqu zabo okanye nangabantu besithathu abakho ngaphezulu komntu abadlala naye[Nye].
Isizathu kukuba xa umntu esiva ibali, ingqondo yakhe iqala ukukhangela amava abenawo anokuthi ancede ekuqulathiweni kwento abayivayo.
Ingxaki kukuba amava ethu kunye nemeko yokuqulathiweyo isenokungahambelani nomnye umntu okanye amava abo.
Sineendawo ezahlukeneyo zeemvakalelo. Kwaye uthethe into enje, 'Ndiyayiqonda.' Kukutsiba kakhulu kunye nokucinga ngendlela avakalelwa ngayo loo mntu kwaye abone amava abo.
Ingangcungcuthekisa kwaye yenzakalise, kuxhomekeke kubukhali bento ekuthethwa ngayo.
Kuyamangalisa ukuba ukuthetha ngesiqu sakho kubangela kwawona malungu engqondo anoxanduva lokonwaba kunye nomvuzo[Mbini].
Ingqondo inamava ohlobo olunye lweemvakalelo ezonwabisayo zokuthetha ngathi njengoko isenza kukutya ukutya okanye ukwenza isondo.
Iyavakala ke into yokuba ngokwendalo singazitsalela kolu hlobo lokuziphatha, kungekuphela ngolonwabo kunye nomvuzo wenxalenye yengqondo yethu yokudubula, kodwa umnqweno wokuba ngumntu olungileyo kwaye axhase abantu esibakhathaleleyo.
Ndiziva ngathi ndiyalila kodwa ndinako t
Iindaba ezimnandi zezokuba ukuncokola nge-narcissism kukuziphatha esinokusebenzela ukuzinqanda ngaphakathi kuthi. Ukutshintsha indlela yokuziphatha, kufuneka kuqala sikwazi ukuyichonga.
Imizekelo yeNarcissism yokuNxibelelana kwiZenzo
Incoko ye-narcissism imalunga nomntu obuyisela incoko ngasemva ukunika umntu lowo ithuba elingakumbi lokuthetha ngaye.
Kodwa ikhangeleka njani?
Omnye wale mizekelo ilandelayo uqaqambisa iindlela umntu anokulawula ngazo incoko ngokuyibuyisela kuye, iimvakalelo zakhe, kunye namava abo.
Umzekelo 1
Umalumekazi kaJohn wamkhulisa ukususela ebuntwaneni bakhe. Uyadlula. Ezama ukufumana inkxaso, uxelela umhlobo wakhe uAdam, “Heyi, ndiphantsi ngokwenene ngoku. Umakazi wam usweleke. ”
UAdam, efuna ukuxhasa, ujonge ukufumana indawo avumelana ngayo noJohn ngokubalisa ngelahleko eyeyakhe, “Ndiyayiqonda into oyithethayo. Ukusweleka kukatata, ndaziva ingathi yonke into emhlabeni yam ime… ”
Umzekelo 2
“Ndifumana ukunyuselwa emsebenzini!” UAmber uthi kuJennifer. 'Ndizakuba ngulawulo lweprojekthi endaweni yokusebenza kwiprojekthi!'
'Intle kakhulu!' UJennifer uyaphendula. “Akwaba bendinalo olo hlobo lwethamsanqa emsebenzini wam. Umphathi wam akanyamezeleki kwaye andibonakali ngathi ndenza nantoni na mva nje. Ndicinga ukuba kungafuneka ndiqale ndifune umsebenzi omtsha. ”
Umzekelo 3
“Wenza ntoni ke ngoku?” UJason ubuza uStacy.
'Ndisebenza njengomthengisi kwintengiso yeemoto.'
“Nyhani? Iivenkile ezithengisa iimoto zinomthunzi. Ndizamile ukuthenga imoto kule ndawo kwaye into abayenzileyo kukundinika nje ukuba ndibaleke ngokwemigaqo kunye neentlawulo. Sithe sakugqiba ukuyilungisa loo nto, imoto yajika yaba lilamuni! ”
Unokuthanda (inqaku liyaqhubeka ngezantsi):
Imizuzwana emi-5 yeengoma zasehlotyeni
- Imizekelo eli-9 yokuziPhatha kwaBantu abaDala
- Ungayigcina njani incoko kwaye yithintele ii-cwaka
- Iindidi ezi-8 zokumamela ezisetyenziswa ngabantu
- Izithintelo ezi-8 kuNxibelelwano oluSebenzayo
- Iimpawu zokuziphatha ezi-9 ezinokuthi ziqhubele abahlobo bakho kude
- Iimpawu ze-9 zoBukrelekrele boLuntu oluPhezulu
Ungayinqanda njani iNarcissism yeNtetho kwaye uyeke ukuthetha ngawe
Ukujonga imizekelo eyahlukeneyo, sinokubona apho umntu athetha naye ebuyisela khona incoko kubo, kunokuba banike iqabane labo lencoko indawo abayifunayo yokugqiba iingcinga neemvakalelo zabo.
Kumzekelo 1, uAdam uzama ukuba ngumhlobo olungileyo ngokufumana indawo avumelana ngayo noJohn malunga nokuswelekelwa ngumakazi wakhe.
NgoJohn ekwindawo enzima ngokwasemphefumlweni, unokutolika isenzo somhlobo wakhe njengokugubungela intlungu yakhe okanye ngokungathi uAdam akafumaneki ukumva.
Ngokuqinisekileyo uAdam angacinga ngelahleko zakhe ukuze aqonde ngcono iintlungu zomhlobo wakhe, kodwa indlela ebhetele kukuba athethe into enje, “Ndicela uxolo ngokuva malunga nelahleko yakho. Ngaba uyafuna ukuthetha ngayo? ” Kwaye ubekhona apho kumhlobo wakhe.
Kumzekelo 2, u-Amber wonwabile kukonyuselwa kunye notshintsho emsebenzini wakhe.
UJennifer, onobunzima emsebenzini wakhe, engaqondanga uyibuyisela kuye incoko ngokusebenzisa ithuba lokukhupha ezakhe iingxaki, ngaloo ndlela egquma ukonwaba kuka-Amber kunye nokufezekisa.
Ingxaki ebonakalayo kule ndlela yokuziphatha kukuba uJennifer akaqondi u-Amber ukuba akayikhathalele ngokwenene u-Amber kwaye ubona iingxaki zakhe zibaluleke ngakumbi.
Eyona ndlela ingcono kukuba uJennifer avume kwaye abhiyozele ukufezekiswa komhlobo wakhe. Ukuba ufuna ukukhupha awakhe umsebenzi, kungangcono alinde ixesha elahlukileyo lokuwenza.
Kumzekelo 3, uJason umamele uStacy kuphela ukuze afumane ithuba elifanelekileyo lokuthetha ngaye.
Impendulo yakhe kubizo alukhethileyo luzikhathalele kuba imalunga naye namava akhe amabi ngokuthenga imoto kwindawo ethengisa izinto ezithandabuzekayo.
Eyona ndlela ilula yokuba uJason alungise indlela yakhe kukuseta amava akhe amabi ecaleni kwaye ajonge kumava kaStacy.
Unokubuza ngokulula imibuzo evumela ukuba imnike indawo eyaneleyo yokuthetha ngomsebenzi wakhe. Imibuzo efana nale: 'Kutheni uthathe isigqibo sokuya kuloo msebenzi?' 'Kunjani ukusebenza kwindawo yokuthengisa iimoto?' 'Yintoni eyona nto uyithandayo ngomsebenzi wakho?'
wazi njani ukuba umthanda nyhani umntu
Isitshixo sokuphelisa eyakho incoko yokuncokola kukwazi ukubona iipateni kunye nokuziphatha kwiincoko zakho.
Ngaba kukho amaxesha apho ucaphukise umntu kuba engaziva ngathi umamele? Okanye ukuba ubusibekele amava abo?
Ngaba ukhe wayishiya incoko ungakhange uthethe nyani ngomnye umntu kuyo nayiphi na inkcukacha enkulu?
Ngaba uhlala ulawula incoko kunye nebali emva kwebali malunga namava akho?
Kulungile ukuba uzobe kumava akho kumxholo kunye nolwazi olongezelelweyo, kodwa ngokubanzi umbono olungileyo ukunqanda ukuthetha ngamava akho ngokunzulu.
Ngaphandle kokuba uthetha neqabane okanye umhlobo osenyongweni kwaye ngamnye kuni unika elinye ixesha ukothula iingxaki zabo- ngokulinganayo.
Indlela yokujongana naBantu abaLawula iincoko
Ukuthetha ne-narcissist yokuncokola yinto eyahlukileyo ngokupheleleyo.
Unokufumana ukuba awukwazi ukufumana igama ngokukhawuleza njengoko behlala bezama ukuyibuyisela incoko!
Eyona nto ibaluleke kakhulu ukuba uyiqonde malunga narcissism yencoko kukuba uninzi lwabantu aluqondi ukuba luyayenza.
Sisiphumo sendalo sendlela esithetha ngayo kunye nendlela uluntu lwethu olujongana ngayo nokufumana ingqalelo.
Incoko ethe ngqo malunga nokuziphatha ihlala iyeyona ndlela ilungileyo yokujongana nayo.
Ukuba umntu uqhubeka ukusika okanye ukubuyisela ukugxila kubo, ziqinisekise kwaye ubabuze ukuba bayaqonda ukuba bayibuyisela incoko kubo endaweni yokuba nincokole nani.
Umntu ongaziqondiyo ukuba bayayenza kodwa uzama nje ukuba abe ngumhlobo olungileyo ngethemba lokuba uyayiva le ngxelo kwaye enze uhlengahlengiso kwindlela abaziphethe ngayo.
Kwelinye icala, usenokufumanisa ukuba abayikhathalelanga okanye abayicingi into oyithethayo ibalulekile, kwaye uya kwazi ukuba ungazikhathazi ngokwenza ezo ncoko nabo okanye ulindele ukuba bakukhathalele.
wenzeni xa umoshile kubudlelwane
Awunakunyanzela umntu ukuba akhathalele okanye atshintshe angafuniyo. Akukho ndawo ekuchitheni amandla axabisekileyo ngokweemvakalelo ngokuzama ukuzitshintsha.
Imithombo:
Nye. https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/BF02912493
Mbini. https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/the-neuroscience-of-everybody-favorite-topic-them ones/
