Bambalwa unxibelelwano lwasentlalweni olumnandi kunencoko ebanzi, nazo zonke izinto ezijijekileyo zendalo.
Ayinamsebenzi nokuba uthetha nabantu obathandayo, abahlobo, abantu osebenza nabo, okanye nabantu oqubisana nabo ebomini.
Ingxoxo emnandi iyandonwabisa ngokwendalo ukusuka kwisihloko ukuya kwisihloko ngokufafaza uburharha apha naphaya, kwaye mhlawumbi nokuba nomdlalo wobukrwada wokuhombisa izinto kancinci (ukuba kufanelekile!).
Iincoko ezinjalo zenza ukuba ii-endorphins zibaleke kwaye zinokushiya uvutha kukukhanya okufudumeleyo kotshintshiselwano kangangexesha elithile emva.
Kwelinye icala, imeko eguqukayo inokuba mbi…
… Incoko ekhubekayo usuka kolunye utshintshiselwano olungaqhelekanga uye kwelinye ngaphandle kokuhamba, uninzi lweziphelo ezifileyo, kunye nezoyikekayo nezibonakala ngathi azipheli 'ixesha lokuwohloka'.
Iziphumo ezisemva kwemeko enjalo ezinokuhlala ixesha elide kwimemori yakho.
Makhe siqwalasele ezinye zeendlela onokuzisebenzisa ukugcina intetho igeleza kunye nokuthula okungathandekiyo kubuncinci.
Uya kufumanisa ukuba ezi ndlela ziluncedo ekuvuseleleni incoko xa isantya siqala ukucothisa kwaye ngaphambi kokuba sigaye into engenakuphepheka kunye ne-oh-so-awkward.
Ke, ugcina njani incoko iqhubeka?
1. Ungaze ulijongele phantsi ixabiso lentetho encinci
Nangona kwiinkcubeko ezininzi umbono wengxoxo malunga nezihloko ezingabalulekanga ezinje ngemozulu okanye umdlalo ubonwa njengenkcitha xesha, thina bantu bathetha isiNgesi basebenzisa intetho encinci njengesango elincokola.
Isivumela ukuba senze eyona nto ingumntu yokuvavanya omnye umntu kunye nokufumana umbono wokuba yintoni ebenza baphawule.
Ekugqibeleni ivumela incoko ukuba iphuhle ngokwendalo njengoko ubudlelwane phakathi kwezithethi busekiwe kwangoko kwaye buya bunzulu.
Izihloko ezingafunekiyo nezihlala ziphindaphindwe kakuhle zentetho encinci- uhlala phi, wenza ntoni, imozulu, ezemidlalo, njl. Njl. -Nceda onke amaqela ukuba aphumle kwaye abeyiyo.
Ukuba uchithe ixesha elithile usazana nomnye umntu ngencoko encinci, mancinci amathuba okuba ezo ukuthula zithuthuke njengoko incoko iqhubeka.
2. Khetha izihloko oziqonda ukuba omnye umntu unomdla kuzo
Enye yezibonelelo zentetho encinci yemizuzu embalwa kukuba iyanceda ukulinganisa izinto abazithandayo nabangazithandiyo.
Kuba uninzi lwabantu luthanda ukuthetha malunga neziqu zabo, ungayigcina incoko ngokuqhubeka ngokubuza imibuzo enzulu kwizihloko ekunokwenzeka ukuba sele zithathiwe.
Umzekelo, incoko engenamsebenzi malunga nemozulu inokuthi ikhokelele kwincoko malunga nohambo lokuskiya kutsha nje okanye ubushushu obuchaziweyo kunye neziphumo ezinokubakho.
3. Qiniseka ukuba ubuza imibuzo 'evulekileyo'
Xa kufikwa ekungeneni nzulu kuwo nawuphi na umxholo, indlela obeka ngayo imibuzo yakho ngoyena ndoqo wempumelelo.
Akukho ndlela ingcono eya kwincoko engathandekiyo ngaphandle kokubuza imibuzo evumela impendulo 'ewe' okanye 'hayi'.
Ngale nto, ndithetha ukuphepha imibuzo efana nale:
ndingabubuyisela njani ubomi bam endleleni
'Ke, waya eCosta Rica ngeholide kunyaka ophelileyo?'
Endaweni yoko, zama umbuzo ovulekileyo onje:
“Ukhankanyile ukuba uye eCosta Rica kunyaka ophelileyo. Yayinjani imozulu / ulwandle / izilwanyana zasendle zazinjani? ”
Umbuzo ovulekileyo unika ithuba lokuba omnye umntu acacise kwaye, oko kuya kukhokelela kwiminye imibuzo kwaye ngethemba lokuvula isiseko esityebileyo sengxoxo.
Ingcebiso ephezulu yokuqinisekisa ukuba ugcina imibuzo yakho 'ivulekile' kukuqala ngantoni, phi, nini, ngoba, ngubani, okanye njani.
Zonke azilahlekanga ukuba ugqiba ukubuza umbuzo 'ewe / hayi' unokuphinda ubuye ngokulula ngokucela ulwazi oluthe kratya, utsho into efana nale:
“Ndingathanda ukwazi okungakumbi. Ungandixelela ngakumbi nge…? ”
4. Ngoku ke thatha ingxoxo ukuya kwinqanaba elinzulu
Nje ukuba intetho encinci iwenzile umsebenzi wayo, umsebenzi wentetho elungileyo kukuthatha incoko phambili ngokubuza imibuzo ethe kratya.
Ukuba sele ubuzile ukuba 'Uhlala phi?', Ungaqhubeka ubuze 'Kutheni uye wafudukela apho?'
Ngapha koko, imibuzo 'kutheni' ilungile ukuba ufuna ukumba ubunzulu obuncinci kwaye uphuhlise incoko.
Ilizwi lesilumkiso kweli nqanaba: yakuba imibuzo ibenobuqu ngakumbi kwaye isondele, qiniseka ukuba uhoya nakuphi na ukungahambi kakuhle.
Ukuba omnye umntu ubonakala engonwabanga, qiniseka ukuba uyabuya umva kwaye ubuyele kumhlaba okhuselekileyo ngaphandle kokungena, imibuzo engathathi hlangothi.
5. Mamela ngokusondeleyo
Akukho nto incinci ngokubuza yonke loo mibuzo mihle evulekileyo ukuba ngokucacileyo awumameli kwimpendulo.
Sebenzisa ubuchule bokumamela ngokusebenzayo, ukuze uyiqonde kakuhle imbono yomnye umntu.
Sukuphazamisa kwaye, xa begqibile ukuthetha, yiba nesishwankathelo soko bakuthethileyo ukubonisa ukuba ubenikele ingqalelo…
'Ukuba ndinelungelo eli, kuvakala ngathi ...'
Kwaye ukuba ufuna ingcaciso kuba uyiqonde phosakeleyo into, zama into enje ...
“Uthi…?”
Ukuba ubusoloko ujonge ingqalelo, ungabonisa uvelwano ngokuzibeka ezicathulweni zesithethi.
Umphulaphuli olungileyo uya kukulungela ukugcina incoko iqhubeka xa isantya sicotha kwaye nomdla ubonakala ngathi uyancipha.
Umzekelo, izihloko ezinokuchukunyiswa ngaphambili kwincoko zinokubuyiselwa kumdlalo onombuzo onje:
“Uye wakhankanya ngaphambili ukuba…”
Ngokwendalo oku kuvula ithuba lokuqhubeka kwengxoxo.
Unokuthanda (inqaku liyaqhubeka ngezantsi):
- Imibuzo esi-7 yokuBuza ukuba Ngokwenene Wazi uMntu
- Izihloko ezingama-55 ezinomdla zokuthetha malunga nabahlobo bakho
- Ungathetha Njani Ngawe (+ 12 Izinto Ezintle Onokuzithetha)
- Indlela yokucinga ngaphambi kokuba uthethe
- Ungawuvakala njani uSmart kwaye uthethe ngokuBanzi
- Izizathu ezili-13 zokuba kutheni abantu bengakuphulaphuli
6.Bonisa ukuba Uzibandakanye Nale Nto Bayithethayo
Umphulaphuli olungileyo ngokwenyani akapheleli nje ekungeniseni ulwazi ngokungakhathali.
Nangona ibiya kuba krwada ukuphazamisa, qiniseka ukubonisa ukuzibandakanya kunye nabanye xa bethetha ngokusebenzisa 'izikhuthazi' ezinje ngo 'Ngokwenene?' (ngaphandle kokuhlekisa!), 'Ah' kunye 'Oo.'
Ungasebenzisa ukukhuthaza okungathethiyo nawe, njengokulinganisa ukubonwa kobuso besithethi ngokujonga ukumangaliswa okanye ukukhathazeka ngokufanelekileyo.
7. Sebenzisa Amehlo Akho Ukubonisa Umdla Wakho Koko Bakuthethayo
Mjonge rhoqo njengoko incoko ihamba kunye nesi esinye isibonakaliso senqanaba lokuqwalaselwa kwakho.
Ngalo lonke ixesha jonga amehlo ekuqaleni kwencoko kwaye ugcine ngokujonga komnye umntu emehlweni kangangemizuzwana emi-4 okanye emi-5…
… Hayi ixesha elide okanye uya kuba semngciphekweni wokuzikhuphela ngaphandle, ke qiniseka ukujonga kude.
Ngelixa amehlo akho ethanjisiwe, qiniseka ukuba awujongi kakhulu kwabanye abantu okanye izinto, nangona, kuba oko bekuya kubonisa ukungakhathalelwa.
Emva koko phinda uqalise ukujonga ngamehlo emva kwemizuzwana embalwa.
Ibhalansi efanelekileyo kukujolisa ekunxibelelaneni kwamehlo malunga ne-50% yexesha xa uthetha kunye ne-70% yexesha xa umamele.
Mhlawumbi kubonakala kungaqhelekanga ukuyinciphisa kwifomula, kodwa yeyona ndlela ilula yokukhumbula ukuba ungakanani na ukudibana kwamehlo ngaphandle kokuwenza ngaphezulu.
8. Jonga into ethethwa nguLwimi lwakho loMzimba
Incoko elungileyo ayisiyiyo yonke into malunga nokuthetha! Kukho unxibelelwano oluninzi olungathethi ngomlomo oluqhubeka nakuluphi na unxibelelwano lomntu kunye nolwimi olulungileyo lomzimba ngoyena ndoqo ekutshintshisweni, ngokukhululekileyo kokutshintshiselana.
Ukuba uhlala okanye ume ngokuqinileyo, umzekelo, oko kunokwenza ukuba omnye umntu azive engonwabanga.
Zama ukuncika kancinci esitulweni sakho, kwaye ungalibali ukongeza uncumo olunobunono (hayi i-grin egcweleyo, nangona-ngaphandle kokuba kufanelekile!).
Ukuba umile, ke ukuthembela ngokungathandekiyo kwibar okanye eludongeni kunefuthe elifanayo.
Owu, kwaye ungalibali ukugcina loo magxa ezantsi - akukho nto ibonisa uxinzelelo olucace gca kunokuba amagxa akho anyuse iindlebe zakho!
9. Ukuhleka okuncinci kuhamba ixesha elide
Alithandabuzeki elokuba uburharha obuncinci bunceda nayiphi na incoko ngokuhamba, kungaphelelanga apho kuba kuyanceda ukwakha ulwalamano oluhle kunye nokwakha ulwalamano lobuhlobo.
Ayinguye wonke umntu ongumhlekisi omkhulu, ke musa ukuyinyanzela.
Akunyanzelekanga ukuba uyipepile incoko yakho ngobukrelekrele-ii-liners okanye uxele iziqhulo. Amagqabantshintshi axesha elifanelekileyo okanye izimvo zokuzithoba zinokuphakamisa ukuhleka ngokunjalo.
Ukuthula kungayinto yegolide
Kulungile, ke ndiye ndaqala eli qhekeza ngokukhankanya amaxesha atshabalalisayo xa ukuthula kungaphumeleli kwincoko emva koko kuyibulale ifile.
Ngokwenyani, nangona kunjalo, awufanele woyike ukuthula okwenzeka ngamanye amaxesha.
Ukuthula yinxalenye ebalulekileyo yobugcisa bencoko. Ukwazi ixesha lokuthetha kunye nokuba ungathethi nini sisakhono esisisiseko ekufuneka sifundwe ngokuhambelana.
Kukho umhlaba owahlukileyo phakathi kokuthula okungathandekiyo kunye nemizuzwana embalwa yokumisa incoko.
Le yokugqibela yinto eqhelekileyo, ke sukuphakuzela xa isenzeka. Ungaziva ngathi ufuna ukuphalaza into-nantoni na! -Ukuzilahlela ukuzalisa isithuba.
Inokukunika ithuba lokuqokelela iingcinga zakho. Ingabonisa ukuba isihloko sifikelele kwisiphelo saso sendalo okanye siye saba yitad kakhulu kakhulu ukuthuthuzela kwaye sivumela utshintsho lwento.
11. Ukwaphula umthetho ngeenjongo
Kulula kakhulu ukuba uthethe into ebangela isikhubekiso esinzulu ngexesha lengxoxo, nokuba ibingazange yenzelwe njalo.
Ukuthetha into engafanelekanga okanye ukungakhathali kuyiphosa incoko ibhalansi kwaye kudale ukungonwabi ekunzima ukubuyela kuko.
Eyona ndlela ilungileyo ihlala ijongene nayo, uyiqambe igama, kwaye uqhubele phambili.
Ungazami ukwenza ngokungathi khange kwenzeke. Leyo yindlela eqinisekileyo yokwandisa inzondo kunye nokuzisa incoko kwisiphelo esingathandekiyo nesingapheliyo.
12. Hambisana Nemicimbi yangoku
Ukuba wenza iinzame zokuhlala ngaphezulu kwento eyenzekayo kuzwelonke nakumazwe aphesheya, ukusuka kwintlebendwane yosaziwayo ukuya kwinkxalabo yenguqu yemozulu, uyakuhlala une-seam esityebileyo yezihloko zokugcina incoko iqhubeka.
Ilizwi lokucebisa nangona: xa ukunye nabantu ongabaziyo, kusoloko kububulumko ukuzikhusela kwipolitiki kunye nemicimbi yezenkolo ngenxa yezizathu ezicacileyo.
Inqaku lokugqibela
Sukuqhubeka ubetha ihashe elifileyo!
Kukho amaxesha apho iinzame zakho ezilungileyo ziya kuba lilize kuba elinye iqela alinamdla okanye alizimiselanga ukubandakanyeka kwincoko.
Oku kunokuba ngenxa yezizathu ezininzi, uninzi okanye zonke ezingaphaya kolawulo lwakho.
Zama nje ukuyiphelisa ngokukhawuleza ngokukhawuleza ingakhange ibe krwada. Beka phantsi kumava kwaye uqhubeke!
UkuShwankathela izinto phezulu
Ungazami ukufaka ngaphezulu kwesinye kwezi ngcebiso ngexesha okanye ungaziva uxakekile kwaye uxhalabile okuyomisa incoko kwangoko.
Kutheni ungakhe uzame enye nje? Xa uziva ukuba ubenobuchule kuyo - kwaye ngethemba lokuba sele iqalile ukwenza ukuba iingxoxo zihambe kancinci ngokutyibilikayo- uya kuziva uzithembile ngokusebenzisa ezinye iindlela ukuya phambili.
Ezinye zeengcebiso ezingentla zinokuthatha ukuziqhelanisa kunye nokucinga kwangaphambili, kodwa imivuzo oyakuyivuna ekuphuculeni izakhono zakho njengomntu onencoko iya kuwufanele umzamo.
Kuya kubakho izabelo kubomi bakho bobungcali kunye nentlalontle kwaye (ukuba awutshatanga kwaye ugcina ujonge iqabane elifezekileyo) kunye nobomi bakho obuthandanayo!
Igama lokugqibela liya kwimbongi yaseBritane uDavid Whyte:
Incoko yokwenyani ihlala iqulethe isimemo. Umema omnye umntu ukuba azityhile kuwe, akuxelele ukuba bangobani okanye bafuna ntoni. ”
