Ukuzimela kuxa umntu azibona njengakufanelekele amalungelo angafumanekanga. Aba ngabantu abakholelwa ukuba ubomi bunetyala kubo, umvuzo othile, umgangatho othile wokuphila.
liphuma nini icandelo elilandelayo lenamba yebhola enkulu
Ungaxela xa ujongene nomntu onjalo kuba baya kubonisa ezi mpawu zi-5 zilandelayo.
1. Njengoonobumba, ndiza ngaphambi kuka-U.
Uluvo lwamalungelo luzisa imeko yokungalalanisi. Kukho ukunqongophala kokuqonda kweemfuno zabanye kunye neemeko ezithile zentlalo, ezihamba kunye nolindelo lokuba kufanelekile ukuba ube nomdla ngakumbi kubomi babo kunasezakho.
I-Narcissism kusezintliziyweni zolu phawu uluvo olugqithisileyo lokuzixabisa okuhamba kunye nemibono yamandla, ubuhle kunye nokuqaqamba. Izivumelwano, ezifuna ukuba umntu adibane nabanye phakathi, azikho kwihlabathi labanelungelo. Wonke umntu ukhuphiswano - esongela impumelelo yakhe- okanye engafanelekanga.
Ukuqaqadeka, ‘indlela yam okanye indlela ephezulu’ yokucinga luphawu oluqhelekileyo. Indlela echukumisayo eya empumelelweni ichaziwe kwaye iyalandelwa. Le khosi inokuba nesiqhamo kubo, kodwa abayazi kwaphela indyikityha yokufa eleleyo kwabo, kwaye bayaphika ngokupheleleyo ngokubamba nayiphi na uxanduva lomntu ngezenzo zakhe .
Inkolelo yokuba 'konke kum' ihlala ifakwa ekhaya, xa, njengabantwana, abazali babo babenza babe sisazulu sendalo iphela. Ngelishwa, indlela yabo eya ekuvuthweni ayihambelani nokukhula kovelwano lwabo. Rhoqo, ilungelo-lakho lokungena elizweni libambekile kwingqondo ekhumbuza ngakumbi ulutsha oluzingcayo.
2.Yintoni eyam yeyam yeyam yeyam.
Imigangatho ephindwe kabini evela kwimvakalelo yokuziva unelungelo lokuziva inokubothusa kuluntu olwakhiwe ekubuyiselaneni. Ngelixa bengoyiki kwizicelo zabanye, abantu abazimeleyo benza amabango angekho ngqiqweni, bengazi ukuba ulonwabo lwabo buza ngendleko yomnye. Khawufane ucinge ngalo mntu uluvulele ucango, kodwa angaze alubambele wena, nokuba sele ulayishe iingalo zakho ngokupheleleyo.
Isimo sengqondo sokungabi nambulelo sihlala sijolise kuwe emva kokuba ubenzele isenzo esihle. Unokutshintsha rhoqo iphethini yokutshintsha ukulungiselela iholide / abantwana / amadinga abo, umzekelo, kodwa abanikeli ukubuyisela ubabalo, nokuba ulufuna ngokwenene. Ilungelo elinelungelo lokuzibamba lihlala libonakala lingaqondakali kwaphela kukuphazamisa okukubangeleyo.
Ukongeza, ubudlelwane babo buhlala bukhona icala elinye kwaye zinokuba ngokumangalisayo Ndonqena . Imilinganiselo elindelekileyo ekuhlaleni ayenziwa, njengokungavumi ukuhlamba izitya emva kwesidlo esele siphekelwe bona, okanye ukuthatha ithuba labo lokwenza ikofu eofisini. Ukuphuhliswa kombono wokwabelana akwenzekanga. Kuzo zonke izinto ekugxilwe kuzo nokuzimisela komntwana oneminyaka emibini, akukho hlazo okanye ityala elinokuthintela iimfuno zabo.
3. Ukulindelwa lilungelo elikhulu kakhulu kushiya ukulingana uziva ngathi yingcinezelo.
Uluvo lokuphakama luhlala kwilungelo lakho. Baneenjongo zokuqala ukusuka phezulu kwileli, ngaphandle kokuqhoboshela, indlela esezantsi-phezulu ethathwa ngabantu abaninzi.
Wakhe wanomntu osikiweyo phambi kwakho emgceni wevenkile enkulu, okanye ugcinise indawo kwindawo 'yokuthenga ngaphambi kokuba utye' indawo yokutyela ekhawulezayo- ukushiya unokutya kodwa ungenasihlalo? Iyacaphukisa! Kuya kufuneka ujonge nzulu, kuba ulindelo lwelungelo linokufihlwa kubume bokuba singobani: inqanaba eliphezulu lokuhlawulwa ngenxa yesini, unyango olukhethiweyo ebhar ngenxa yobudala, okanye ithuba lokuhlala ngenxa yobuhlanga okanye iklasi.
Bazibaxa izinto abaziphumezileyo ngelixesha ngaxeshanye bejongela phantsi eyakho, bedala entlokweni yabo 'ukuzithethelela' ngokulindela kwabo ilungelo. Njengomzali, kungekudala uza kufumanisa ukuba ngabaphi abanye abazali abaya kuthi ngovuyo 'bathathe' isibonelelo sokuhamba kuwe, xa uJohnny omncinci enesimemo sepati. Le nkqubo isebenza kakuhle xa nobabini nitshintshana ngokuqhuba. Ukanti 'abathathi' abathile kubonakala ngathi abanalo ithuba lokuphindisela. Kwiimeko apho banyanzelwa ukuba bathathe ithuba labo, benza njalo ngokumangalisayo, baqinisekisa ukuba wonke umntu uyazi 'ngesenzo sabo esikhulu'.
Yiyo le mfanelo yelungelo ekugqibeleni eyonzakalisa bona. Ekugqibeleni, siyazikhwelela kubantu abanjalo ukunciphisa umda wezenzo zabo kuthi. Olu hlobo lokuziphatha luza kubonakala luqhutywa kwimbono engeyiyo yelizwe, kubandakanya nokucinga ukuba iimeko zokuphila zilungile kunye nonyango.
Unokuthanda (inqaku liyaqhubeka ngezantsi):
Kutheni abantu boo roman kulawula
- Izizathu ezili-9 Ezizimeleyo zihlala zingonwabanga
- Izizathu ezili-9 zokuba kutheni ungaze uMntu obawayo
- Ungayilwa njani into yokuGqithisela kwilungelo
- Iindlela ezi-7 Abantu abaQhelekileyo ngokweMvakalelo baphatha abantu abaNzima
- Ngaba Uyaphazama iMachiavellianism yeNarcissism?
- Iimpawu ze-9 zabantu abangenambulelo (+ Indlela yokuSebenzisana nabo)
4. Indoda / umfazi onomsindo, oziva ukuba umsindo wakhe ulungile.
Abazimeleyo abanabo abantu abangaziwayo ukuba bajongane nabo. Okuhlala kusaziwa ngokugqajukelwa ngumsindo okugqithisileyo nakowuphi na umntwana omncinci anokuphosa, isimilo sabo esingenanceba, sokuzingca siyabavumela ukuba bakholelwe ukuba oku kufanelekile. ‘Andikholelwa ukuba kufuneka ndisebenze nge morons ezinjalo’ kunye nokunye ukudubula okungafanelekanga kuhamba ngokukhululekileyo emilonyeni yabo.
Umsindo wabo unokuntywila ngokungenziwanga kwakhona, ukujonga nje ukusika okanye ukurhola amehlo kubonisa indelelo yabo kwabo babangqongileyo. Ukulinganisa ukunganyaniseki kubonisiwe kwi iimbono ezigxekayo nezigxekayo . Abazimele ngokwabo, umzekelo, abanakuze bakudumise ngokwenyusa isikhundla sakho endaweni yoko, bayakholelwa (kwaye bayenze icace) ukuba uyifumene kuba 'ubusondele nomphathi wakho / eyona nto ingcono yeqela elibi / malunga nexesha olonyuselwe ngalo'.
Umsindo, kunye nezinye iimvakalelo eziguqukayo ezihamba nemvakalelo yokufumana ilungelo, zihlala zibangelwa kukuhlazeka. Imaski yelungelo inokusetyenziselwa ukugubungela imfuno enzulu. Njengoninzi lwabaxhaphazi, umsindo kuqikelelwe baye kwabanye bahlala beqhutywa kukungazithembi kwabo.
5. Ndihlwempuzekile kancinci kum.
Xa ukubalasela, ukuba ndlongondlongo kungabancedi abo banegunya lokufikelela kwiinjongo zabo, ityala labasweleyo lingaphuma. Isimo sengqondo sokuzisizela esidibene nokukhohlisa kunye Ukuziphatha okufuna ingqalelo yenza inkampani yabo idle.
Nangona utyiwa yinkolelo yokuba imithetho yezentlalo ayisebenzi kubo, unokuqiniseka ukuba bayakhalaza kakhulu ukuba baziva ngathi bayatshintshwa! Oku kuhlala kuyikhulisa intloko ekusebenzeni kweqela. Masithi iqela lakho libeka intetho kunye. Umntu omnye usilela ekudibaneni nesabelo sakhe somsebenzi onzima. Nangona kunjalo lo mntu ulindele elona xabiso likhulu lekhredithi xa iprojekthi ihamba kakuhle. Ngapha koko, loo mntu uya kuyishiya inqanawa ezitshonayo ukuba ayenzi njalo. Oku kunokuhlala kuvela kwindlela yokuziphatha apho 'ukuthanda kwabo' kuchazwa 'njengeemfuno'. Bazichaza ngendlela engeyiyo iimvakalelo zabo njengezinyani kwaye abanye bahlala betyholwa ngenxa yemeko abazifumana bekuyo. Ulindelo lwabo olungafezekiswanga lubashiya beziva bengonelisekanga kwaye bedanile ngokungapheliyo.
Emva kwayo yonke le ndlela yokuziphatha umntu unqwenela ukunconywa nokunconywa. Basoloko befuna ukuqinisekiswa koontanga babo, ngelixa kwangaxeshanye befuna intlonipho. Ngokugcwele ngokuzithemba ngokungazithembi, luxinzelelo lwabo lweemvakalelo abazama ukulungisa ngokunyanzelisa ukubalasela kwabo. Iimpawu ezonakalisayo zentlalo zibenze bangabikho eluntwini, kwaye ekugqibeleni, kwanabo basondeleyo kunye nabathandekayo bafunda ukuzibamba. Uxinzelelo lunokuseta xa udonga lokuzimela luqala ukuwa.
Isiseko seemvakalelo ezinamandla zokuzimela kwabanye kufuneka zilawulwe. Ukunika ihempe emqolo akuyi kwanela. Qaphela xa utsalwa kwimeko ethi 'akukho mpumelelo' kwaye uzikhuphe ngobunono. ‘Hayi, ndiyaxolisa andikwazi ukudibana ngentsimbi yesi-4: 00 ngokuhlwa. Singamisela elinye ixesha ukuya ku-5.00… ’ Qiniseka, kodwa ulunge . Ukulalanisa phakathi kwakho kwanele, kodwa zoba umgca kwaye ulungele ukuhamba.
Ngoku phosa iliso lakho kumphefumlo wakho. Ukuya kuthi ga kwinqanaba elithile, sonke siziva sinelungelo ngaphakathi kwethu, kodwa njengakwiimpawu zobuntu, sihlala kwiindawo ezahlukeneyo kwisikali esityibilikayo. Ngaba unikela ingqalelo kwiimfuno zabanye? Bonisa ulwazi ngeemvakalelo zabanye abantu kunye neemeko? Ngaba uyakwazi ukubaxolela abo bathe bakwenza ngendlela engalunganga, kungenjongo okanye ngokungakhathali? Iimpawu ezinesihloko zingaphakathi kuthi sonke, sinokulungisa kwakhona ibhalansi ngokuzithoba kunye nombulelo. Ulonwabo lwethu lobuqu kunye noluntu luxhomekeke kuyo.
