Inkcubeko edumileyo isikhokelele ekubeni sikholelwe ukuba ukuba abantu abasingqongileyo ababonakalisi kwinqanaba elilindelekileyo lovelwano, kukho into engalunganga kubo.
Abanye babizwa ngokuba ngama-narcissists, abanye bathi intlalo , kodwa ngaba ngokwenene? Kuyavunywa, kukho umthwalo ophalalayo wezo ntlobo phaya, kodwa ukungabikho kovelwano emntwini akusosizathu sokucinga ukuba bawela nakwezo ndidi.
Xa sihlupheka kwaye siphethukela komnye umntu ukuba asixhase, silindele ukuba asibonise uvelwano kwaye asithuthuzele. Lowo ngumnqweno womphefumlo onamandla xa sivumela ukuba sesichengeni nabanye.
Ke, xa sibonisa ukuthamba kwethu kwaye sithande ukuba sifuna inkxaso, kwaye le siyivulekileyo ukuba ijike kuthi, kubuhlungu njengesihogo.
Singaziva sothukile, ukungcatsha , kunye nezinye iimvakalelo ezingalunganga kuba umhlobo wethu ngokusisiseko enze ngokuchasene ne-polar kwinto esiyifunayo kubo, kwaye ukucinga kwethu kukuba bayabanda. Bakhohlakele. Ziintlalontle okanye I-narcissists ebalaseleyo kwaye singabinakho kwaphela ukuziva ngokufanelekileyo, kuba ukuba benjenjalo, bebeya kuziqonda iimfuno zethu ngalo mzuzu kwaye baguqe ngasemva ukusinika inkxaso yabo.
Kunokubakho izizathu ezahlukeneyo zokuba kutheni umntu engabonisi uvelwano okanye uvelwano ngendlela olindele ukuba bayiqonde ngayo, ngexesha apho ufuna ukuba benze njalo, kwaye izizathu ezidweliswe apha ngezantsi zimbalwa kuzo.
Bayakhathazwa, kwaye abanakuyithatha
Uninzi lwethu luyayeka ukuchitha yonke imicimbi yethu yobuqu kuwo onke amajelo eendaba ezentlalo, kwaye ngenxa yoko asazi ukuba omnye umntu uza kuhamba ngawuphi na umzuzu.
iliwa vs uluntu ndiyeke umdlalo
Abanye abantu bayakwazi ukugcina i-façade eyomeleleyo ngelixa bejongana nexabiso elingenambaliso intlungu - zombini ngokwasemzimbeni nangokweemvakalelo , kodwa nangona zibonakala ngathi ziyi-stoic kwaye zilungile, enyanisweni zibambe kancinci i-sh * t yazo kunye. Yonke into abayifunayo inye inqaku elincinci ukubenza bawele kwidama lokulila.
Njengomzekelo, omnye wabasetyhini osebenza nabo (masimbize ngokuba nguJenna) usenokuba ujongene nolunye unyango olungaphumeleliyo lokuchuma, kwaye ngoku ujongene nenyani eqinisekileyo yokuba akanakufane azale umntwana ongowakhe.
Khange axoxe ngale nto nabani na emsebenzini kuba ungumntu wabucala kakhulu, kodwa ukhathazekile ngokwasemphefumlweni kwaye ubambekile ebambelele kwimaski yobuchwephesha, enxibe ngayo.
Ngexesha lesidlo sasemini, e-enkantini yeofisi, omnye umntu asebenza naye uveza isihloko malunga nomhlobo wakhe olusizi kuba usandula ukuphunyelwa sisisu, kwaye uJenna uphuma egumbini ngaphandle kwelizwi. Wonke umntu uqala ukuhlebeza, ukhutyekisiwe yindlela aziphethe ngayo kwaye umbiza engenantliziyo ngenqanaba leemfesane zehashe elifileyo, ngelixesha uzivalele emotweni yakhe ukuze akwazi ukukhala ngesifuba ngasese.
wazi njani xa umntu ekuncwasa
Kunzima ukungacingi nokugweba abanye ngokuziphatha kwabo, kodwa kuba asisoze sikwazi fikelela kwingqondo yomnye okanye intliziyo kwaye uyazi ngenene indlela abavakalelwa ngayo, ihlala ilungile into yokuba ubanike inzuzo yokuthandabuza.
Kwangokunjalo ...
Banobunzima Bokudinwa Kwemfesane
Ngaba uyazi ukuba namhlanje, umntu oqhelekileyo uya kutyhilwa kwiindaba ezininzi kunye nolwazi kunokuba umntu othile kwixesha lama-Victori wayenokufunda okanye ukuva malunga nonyaka?
Kuyamangalisa ukuba kutheni abantu abaninzi bexhalabile kwaye benoloyiko xa usuku nosuku, imithombo yeendaba zabo zentlalo zigcwele zonke iindlela zokungabikho kokusesikweni, amabali ayoyikisayo, kunye nokuphelelwa lithemba.
Abanye abantu, ukuhlaselwa rhoqo kuko konke ukungakhathali kunokubangela ukuba bahlakulele imfesane yokudinwa. Luphawu oluthi ngamanye amaxesha lukhule kubongikazi. Emva kwexesha elithile lokuchaphazeleka ixesha elide kwiimeko okanye ulwazi olonakalisa ngokwasemphefumlweni, ingqondo nje… uhlobo lokuvala iziko lovelwano njengendlela yokuzikhusela.
Umntu uya kwi-autopilot ekwaziyo ukwenza kwaye enze umsebenzi wabo ngokufanelekileyo, kodwa ngaphandle kokubandakanyeka ngokweemvakalelo. Rhoqo, nokuba yiyo, okanye ukuphazamiseka kwemithambo-luvo ngenxa yazo zonke izinto ezoyikisayo, ezothusayo ezikwimvakalelo abalwa nazo.
indlela yokujongana nomntwana okhulileyo ongenantlonipho
Abantu abasebenza kwiindawo zoxinzelelo oluphezulu (ezinje ngoonesi beewadi ezixhwalekisayo okanye ezonyango kwimimandla yemfazwe) bakwacwangcisa imvakalelo kumanqanaba ahlukeneyo, kwaye babe nezinto eziphambili ngokubaluleka xa kufikwa koko bakuthatha njengobunzima.
Kunzima ukuvelana nomntu okhalayo kwaye elila malunga neqatha lakhe elaphukileyo xa kuye kwafuneka unqumle ilungu lomnye umntu ngenxa yokuba wabethwa yibhombu, uyazi?
Kulomntu ujongana nomnxeba, inokuba yeyona ntlungu ibikhe yakwehlela kwaye bafuna intuthuzelo kunye nokuqinisekiswa ngumntu abamkhathaleleyo. Kumayeza endle, ngumbuzo wokuba 'andinako noku. Yiza sithethe xa usopha emehlweni. ”
Unokuthanda (inqaku liyaqhubeka ngezantsi):
- Iindlela ezi-4 zokungabikho kovelwano ziya kutshabalalisa ubudlelwane bakho
- Ukuba Ufuna Uthando oluhlala luhleli, Khangela umntu oziva enovelwano njengawe
- Ukutyibilika ngokutyibilika Kokungakhathali: Isilumkiso kubo bonke abantu
Bajongana neTrauma yoBuntu okanye iPTSD
Abanye abantu, ukungabikho kovelwano kunokubangelwa ngamava abuhlungu kwixesha labo elidlulileyo.
Abantu abathi, njengabantwana, kwafuneka bajongane neemeko apho babephethwe gadalala, okanye bajongana noxinzelelo oluphezulu, imeko ebuhlungu, kuye kwafuneka ukuba bazicime iimvakalelo zabo ezisebenzayo ukuze baqhubeke.
Kananjalo, kukho uhlobo lwesiphumo esincitshisiweyo xa kufikwa kwiimvakalelo zabo indlela yokulwa yayikukunciphisa indlela abasabela ngayo kwisistim seemvakalelo, ke kubonakala ngathi banomqobo ophakamileyo wokungqina iintlungu kunye nokubandezeleka.
Alice e Wondlandland ndiye ndaphambana
Banokubonakala bebanda okanye bengenaluvelwano, kodwa ezo mpendulo (okanye ukusilela kwazo) zisuselwe kwisidingo sokuzikhusela xa bejamelene neemeko ezibi kakhulu kwixesha labo elidlulileyo.
Le yenye into ebhekisa kwinto yokuba kunqabile ukuba sazi abanye abantu njengoko sicinga ukuba siyakwenza, kwaye kungathatha iminyaka abantu ukuba basivulele malunga noburharha abakhe baphila kubo, ukuba bakhe bathetha ngako kuthi kukonke.
Kulula kakhulu ukugweba omnye kubanda babo obubonakalayo, xa kunokwenzeka ukuba abanalo ulawulo olukhulu kuloo mpendulo kwaphela.
Eyona nto ingcono ukuba ungagwebi .
Banokungakwazi ukudibana nomnye
Kukho esinye isizathu esiqinisekileyo sokuba kutheni abantu benokubonakala ngathi abanalo uvelwano, kwaye lonto kukuba abaninzi banokuqonda kuphela kwaye bavelane nezinto abazifumene nabo buqu.
Njengomzekelo, umntu ongazange afumane ityhefu ekutyeni unokuhlekisa ngabo baye babuhlungu kuyo, de babe sele benayo ngokwabo kwaye bethanjiswa lusizi nentlungu.
NGOKU, bakuba bezibonele ngawabo amehlo, bayakwazi ukuvelana nabanye abantu betyhubela kuloo nto: 'Ndiva wena, ndoda… bendine-curry yedodgy kwaye indophule iveki.'
Ezi ziindidi zabantu abathi, xa bejamelene namabali okanye imifanekiso yabantu abahluphekayo kumazwe akude, abanako ngokwenyani ukunxibelelana nezinto abajamelana nazo kwaye, ngenxa yoko, abanamandla impendulo ngokweemvakalelo ekujikeni.
Izinto ezimbi zenzeka kwindawo engenamsebenzi 'kude lee, phaya phandle kwenye indawo,' kodwa izinto ezenzekayo zisuswe kude 'apha' kangangokuba zibonakala ngathi ziyi-surreal… phantse kufana nokubukela umboniso bhanyabhanya okanye inkqubo yeTV ezele ngabadlali kunabantu bokwenyani.
Oku kukunye 'okunye' ekufuneka sikulumkele malunga nokukhumbula ukuba ngenxa yokuba umntu ehlala kude, oko akuthethi ukuba akaziva izinto ezifanayo nathi. Bayafana nathi.
Njengenqaku elisecaleni, abantu abanobunzima bokuvelana nabanye abakude abafani nabo banokubheka abantwana ababhityileyo okanye iimbacu ezilambileyo bathethe nje into ethi 'hayi isizwe sam, hayi ingxaki yam.'
nini imali ye-wwe ebhankini ye-2019
Zizo iimpundu.
