Yimpelaveki, kwaye okwesihlanu umntu wakho omthandayo egxadazela ngengobozi yokuhlamba ezele ziimpahla ezomileyo ngelixa ubukele umabonwakude.
NguLwesithathu kwaye uzilungiselele isidlo sangokuhlwa, waze wenza ulingelo kwaye wazama into entsha, kodwa awuyikhankanyi okanye uyiqaphele oku ngexesha lonke lesidlo.
Iinyawo zakhe zibuhlungu kukubaleka (ngamanye amaxesha ngokoqobo) ukuthumela yonke imihla. Ngamaxesha athile- mhlawumbi ngaphambi kokuba ulale - umbona nokuba uyaphumelela njengoko ephulula unyawo. 'Uyazi ukuba kuza kuna ngomso?' uyabuza.
Iminyaka emihlanu ezantsi komgca kwaye isithandwa sakho simkile. Akukho siganeko sikhulu sokuphendula ngokwahlukana. Uyothuka kancinci.
Ngokuqhelekileyo izinto ezincinci, kungekhona ezinkulu, eziphelisa ubudlelwane. Eyona nto inkulu ibonisa ukuba kwakungekho ubudlelwane bokwenene kwindawo yokuqala.
Singalucinga uvelwano njengokubukela nje. Vumela umntu omthandayo inzuzo yazo zontlanu izivamvo zakho kunye nazo naziphi na izinto ezifihlakeleyo onokuba nazo. Oku kugqitha kothandekayo ukunxibelelana nazo zonke iimfuno zabo.
Uvelwano oluxhaphakileyo, ukukwazi ukuziva omnye kunye nokwenza intlalontle yabo, kubaluleke kakhulu kulo naluphi na ulwalamano, kodwa kaninzi kuyatyeshelwa ngenxa yemidlalo engaphezulu yomzabalazo wamandla obudlelwane.
Akukho bugqi bokubonisa uvelwano kwabanye, nokuba zezothando okanye ngeplato . Uvelwano aluzange ibe lilo kuphela iphondo leemvakalelo eziyimfihlakalo phakathi kwethu. Hayi, uvelwano lumalunga nokunyaniseka ngokweemvakalelo. Kukuvuleka nokungoyiki ukuphendula kwiimfuno ezingaziwayo zomnye.
I-Absolutists inokuthi, 'Ewe, ukuba umntu ufuna into mabazithethele.' Kuyavunywa. Kodwa uthando lukwathetha ngamanye amaxesha ukuba ungaze uthi, 'Nceda uthambise iinyawo zam' ukuze uzikhuhle.
Kuya kufuneka uqaphele umntu ongomnye ngaphandle kwakho ukuba uza kwenza unxibelelwano kweli lizwe lethu. Akwanelanga ukuhlala endaweni yomnye umntu yonke imihla kwaye uzixelele “Kulungile, kuyasebenza oku, obu bubudlelane obuchanekileyo,” kuba sisiqinisekiso esingenakuqhekeka sokuba, ngaba leyo yindlela ocinga ngayo umntu usebenzisa ingcinga efanayo ethi 'mandiphume apha.'
Uthando lufuna ukudityaniswa kweemvakalelo, iingcinga, kunye neminqweno ngokuvuleka okufuna ukutshintshana simahla kovelwano phakathi kweentliziyo ezichaphazelekayo.
Lithini inqanaba lokuvelana nesithandwa sakho? Ulufikelela njani uvelwano lwakho? Kwaye xa sele kufikelelwe, ngaba kulindeleke ukuba uyigcine ivuliwe, uhlala ukulungele ukuthambekela kwimfuno (impendulo emfutshane: hayi)?
Ufumana inqanaba lovelwano ngokuzibuza ukuba unyaniseke kangakanani kwiimvakalelo zakho. Uninzi lwethu sizigcina sibhotile ngenxa yezizathu ezininzi, kwaye ngeendlela ezininzi ezahlukeneyo umlinganiso weemvakalelo zethu awunakuze ubonise into efanayo kabini.
Ubomi bumisela ukukhusela. Yinyaniso engenakuphepheka leyo. Kude kube sifikelele kwimeko yolwazi oluphezulu ngokwasemoyeni, kufuneka sikhusele iziqu zethu ukuze ezo bits zikhule zikhusele ezinye iibits, kude kube zonke iibits- kunokuba zibe lukhuni kwaye zixhobile- zizityebi kakhulu kwaye zichume apho zikhula khona ziluhlaza amasimi azele bubomi kunye nokudlamka. Ukukhusela okuninzi, nangona kunjalo, ityuwa yomhlaba ekujikeleze ii-hillocks ezingabamelwane, endaweni yokuba ingca yazo ifikelele ekudibaneni neyakho, suka. Kubo ilanga lelinye indawo.
Ukuba, nangona kunjalo, unokuzixelela ukuba ayibobuthathaka ukubonisa ukuba sesichengeni, ukudinwa, isidingo, umnqweno, okanye into engaqhelekanga, utyekelo olungelulo, ukulungele ukuvula ngokwakho ukunika uvelwano. Sele uyifumene kwabanye, uyazi ukuba uyayifumana. Kwaye uyazi ukuba uyayithanda: ezo zingabuzwanga zontamo emva kwempelaveki yomdlalo we-tennis ii-omelets ozityayo ngovuyo rhoqo ngentsasa yangeCawa emva kokuba ivumba lesidlo sakusasa likuvuselele ngendlela ongasokuze ubuze ngayo ikofu yakho oyithandayo xa usenza ikofu yenziwe. Izinto ezincinci zibaluleke kakhulu.
Uvelwano luvelisa izinto ezincinci. Usenokubiza nokuba uyayiqwalaselwa ukuba igama eliqhelekileyo libonakala linencasa. Kukaninzi kangakanani ukuba nolwazelelelo kwabanye kukhe kubegxotha?
Kodwa okuchaseneyo, ukungabinamdla, ukusilela kwiziphathamandla ezisisiseko ezinxibelelana ngoobani ngeendlela amagama angenakukwazi ukuzenza, kubonile ukubhabha kwezigidi.
Unokuthanda (inqaku liyaqhubeka ngezantsi):
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- Ubafundisa Njani abantu indlela yokuNyanga
Ukuba uswele uvelwano kubudlelwane bakho, uqhuba esinye isiqingatha kude ngoluhlobo:
Intlonipho
UAretha Franklin akazange acule ngale nto ukuze ungayihoyi. Uvelwano ludlala indima enkulu ekuhlonipheni abanye, kuba lusivumela ukuba sibabone njengabantu abazalisekiswe ngokupheleleyo kunokwandiswa kweemfuno zethu. Siyayihlonipha kuphela into esivumela ukuba ibe 'yinyani'
Kodwa ukuba asikwazi okanye asizimisele ukuthetha iilwimi ezingathethwayo kunye nezintanda ebomini bethu, sibaxelela ngokucacileyo ukuba azikho ngokwenyani: abadinwa kakhulu bafuna nje ukuba sibonise igxalaba lethu kunye nemizuzu embalwa bokuthula abazidingi ukuva amazwi enkxaso kunye nobumbano emva kokuhambisa iindaba zokuba into ebalulekileyo kubo iwele phantsi abavumelekanga ukuba bangcangcazele kwaye bafuna nje ukuba sijonge emehlweni abo ukubazisa ukuba konke kulungile.
izimvo ezintle zokwenza intombi yakho
UKUYA ukungabikho kovelwano yintsimbi kumoya esimthandayo obhengeza ukuba asibahloneli.
Yixabise
Ukuba asikwazi ukuba novelwano nomnye, thina zithathe kancinci : Impahla yokuhlambela ngomlingo iyasongwa kwaye ibekwe kude nokuba umntu omthandayo ngandlel 'ithile uyakwazi ukufundisisa isidlo sangokuhlwa enokuba sisithambiso esifakwa ngaphakathi kuyo yonke ingqwalaselo esiyinika ukulungiselela kwayo.
Ukuba asikwazi zive into umntu ayibekiyo nje kusuku lwabo, kodwa nolwethu ngokunjalo, sinciphisa isenzo sabo silindele ngaphandle kokubonisa uxabiso, kwaye eyona ndlela ikhawulezayo yokwenza umntu asijonge ngokungathandabuzekiyo kukubenza bazive bengaxatyiswanga.
Buyisela
Nokuba uphile kangakanani kwaye unika umntu kangakanani, wonke umntu ngaxa lithile ulindele ukuba Yamkela . Oku kuyinxalenye ye-genome. Ayisiyo tit for tat, kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo ayisiyonto yokugcina amanqaku. Umntu unokunika iirubs ezinyaweni zenyanga, kodwa ulindele enye njengembuyekezo. Nangoku nagokuya. Kungakuhle.
Okanye mhlawumbi baxelelwa ukuba siza kwenza ikofu ibaleke endaweni yabo. Ngcono nangoku, ukuba basebenza kuyilo olumnandi lomthengi ngelixa ikati ijikeleza iinyawo zabo, sibeka ikomityi yeti esandula ukwenziwa etafileni.
Zininzi iindlela ezincinci, ezinomtsalane zokubuyisela omnye umntu ngeendlela ezincinci, ezithandekayo! Kodwa ukuba sivakalelwa kukuba ngandlel 'ithile ibango elongezelelekileyo kubuchule bethu, ukuswela kwethu uvelwano kusibangela ukuba siyiphose into yomthendeleko.
Qhagamshela
Uvelwano alukho nje malunga nokubonelela ngeemfuno ezithethiweyo okanye ezingathethiyo, yindlela yokuqinisa unxibelelwano nesithandwa sethu. Ukuba sikhe sanethamsanqa ngokwaneleyo ukuba sibe phakathi kwezibini ezinamathele ekuhambeni kwenye, siza kubona umdaniso ongabonakaliyo uvela. Bayashukuma, bacinge, baziphathe kakuhle kwaye balindele kwangaphambili ngendlela evuselela umoya wethu. Oku kuvulelekile kwimikhwa yenye. Bayazi imo yomnye komnye bayazonwabela bobabini ukuba lulonwabo kunye nokubonelela ukonwaba komnye nakumaxesha okungoneliseki abonakala ngathi edibeneyo ngaphaya kwendima engaphezulu. Olu luvelwano.
Kwaye, ngokulula, ukuba asinakho ukudibanisa ichaphaza elisisiseko njengokuzonwabisa ngokonwaba olufunyanwa luthando lwethu, sishiyeke nolwalamano apho enye kunye nenye ingazange yenze nyani ngokwenene.
Eli phepha linamalungu onxibelelwano. Ndifumana ikhomishini encinci ukuba ukhetha ukuthenga nantoni na emva kokucofa kuyo.
