Sonke sifuna ukuhlonitshwa ngabantu ebomini bethu, nokuba ngaba ngabahlobo bethu, umphathi wethu, okanye umntu esithandana naye.
Ukuba ujonga iindlela zokwenza indoda ikuhloniphe, sukujonga phambili.
Eli nqaku lichaza indlela yokufumana kunye nokugcina imbeko yendoda, nokuba yeyiphi na indima abayidlalayo ebomini bakho.
1. Qonda ukuba ukuswela kwakhe intlonipho kuvelaphi
Zininzi izizathu zokuba kutheni amadoda ekufumanisa kunzima ukuhlonipha abantu basetyhini, nokuba esi sisigqibo esingekho zingqondweni.
Kusekho ukubekwa amabala kubafazi abangakwaziyo njengamadoda - hayi njengabakrelekrele okanye abazimiseleyo, kwaye bengafanelanga mpumelelo.
Oku kuvela kwimbali ende yokungalingani kunye nokwabelana ngesondo kwaye, ngelixa kuphucuka, kusekho indlela ende ekufuneka ihanjisiwe.
Kubalulekile ukuba ukhumbule ukuba ukungabikho kwembeko kwabasetyhini akusoloko kunenjongo ngokupheleleyo.
Oko akuthethi ukuba ayicaphukisi kwaye iyacaphukisa, kodwa kulungile ukuba uqaphele ukuba ezinye zazo azikho ngabom njengoko sinokucinga.
Kwamanye amadoda, yinto nje yento abayaziyo.
Ngaba iyayilungisa loo nto? Hayi, kodwa oko kuthetha ukuba kukho inkcazo efanelekileyo emva kwayo.
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Umphathi wakho ngekhe abekho umntu obhinqileyo kwibhodi ngaphambili, kungoko kunzima ukuba akuhloniphe njengoko esibajonga njengabasetyhini njengoonobhala.
Ewe, kuyaphazamisa, kodwa ubuncinci izinto ziqhubela phambili kwaye unokufumana iindlela zokuqonda indlela yokuziphatha kwabantu.
Ukuba iqabane lakho alikubonisi imbeko kwaye linolindelo oluqinisekileyo kuwe, kusenokwenzeka ngenxa yokukhuliswa kwakhe.
Amanye amadoda anamava kuphela kubafazi njengabenzi bamakhaya- mhlawumbi umama wakhe wayehlala ekhaya kwaye epheka kwaye ecoca ngelixa utata wakhe wayengumondli.
Ukungabikho kwentlonipho oziva ngathi kunokuvela koku kuqonda nzulu kwendima yesini.
Oku akuthethi ukuba akunakwenzeka ukuba atshintshe kuphela kuthetha ukuba kuya kufuneka ulungelelanise iimpendulo zakho kunye nokuziphatha ngokuhambelana noko.
2. Mbonise ubuNono bakho
Kunzima ukuyeka ukucinga malunga neenkolelo xa ujongene nendoda engafuni ukukuhlonipha!
Ngokuthatha inyathelo ubuye umva kwaye ucinge ngakumbi, nangona kunjalo, uya kufumana iindlela zokufumana imbeko elungele wena.
Ngqina ubukrelekrele bakho (ayikuko ukuba kufanelekile!) Ngokuba nezimvo kwaye ungoyiki ukubabuyisela.
Yiya kwindlela yakho yokwabelana ngeembono zakho - ngaphandle kokuzithoba okanye ukwazi konke-kwaye amadoda akungqongileyo aya kukhawuleza aqonde ukuba awoyiki ukuthetha.
Amanye amadoda acinga ukuba abafazi bangaphantsi ngenxa yokuba bengengobukrelekrele, ke sebenzisa uxinzelelo lwakho ukukomeleza.
Thetha phezulu ezintlanganisweni okanye uveze uluvo lwakho ukuba uye phi ngomhla wakho wesidlo sangokuhlwa. Zizinto ezincinci, kodwa sisiqalo.
Ubonisa ukuba awunguye owasemdeni kwaye unako yimela ngokwakho .
Amanye amadoda anokoyikiswa bubukrelekrele bakho okanye ukukwazi ukuzithethela-qhubeka noku!
Amadoda afanelekileyo ngexesha lakho aya kuqonda amandla akho kwaye ayayixabisa.
3. Thatha uLawulo
Amanye amadoda asacinga ukuba abafazi abanako ukwenza njengabo, nokuba kukwenza i-DIY, ukuqhuba, okanye ukudlala imidlalo.
Endaweni yokulinda ujonge ukubonwa ngamadoda kukugweba, yiba nenxaxheba kwaye uthathe isigqibo sokubabonisa ukuba uyakwazi kangakanani.
Abakwazi ukubuza ubuchule bakho ukuba ubungqina kubo kuqala!
Musa ukoyika ukuthatha uxanduva.
Endaweni yokuba ulinde isithandwa sakho ukuba sitshintshe ibhalbhu, yenza ngokwakho.
Ngokuqinisekileyo, yinto encinci kwaye ayifanelekanga ukuba ungayenza, kodwa amanye amadoda afuna ukukhunjuzwa ukuba ungumntu onamandla, onamandla rhoqo!
Unokusebenza kwi-DIY ejikeleze indlu, nayo. Ukuba awuqinisekanga nge-100%, jonga iividiyo zeYouTube okanye ufumane imiyalelo kwi-intanethi kuqala.
Iqabane lakho liya kuchukumiseka lulwazi kunye nezakhono zakho.
4. Zihloniphe kuqala
Intlonipho iyahambelana. Oko akuthethi nje ukuba wena nomnye umntu kufuneka nihloniphane, oko kuthetha ukuba kufuneka niyenzele iprojekthi ukuze niyifumane.
Okukhona uzihlonipha, kokukhona abanye abantu baya kuqonda ukuba uyifanele nembeko yabo.
Khawufane ucinge ngomfanekiso-ubona umntu engena egumbini. Bajongeka benentloni kwaye bengazithembi.
Impendulo yakho yokuqala isenokungabi yinto entle. Oko kunokubonakala kunzima, kodwa sineemvakalelo zesisu ngesizathu!
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Ngoku khawufane ucinge ukuba kungena umntu othile, eziphethe kakuhle kwaye esenza kakuhle uku-oda igumbi, ngandlela thile.
Uyakukholelwa kwangoko ukuba bayazithemba kwaye bayazihlonela, 'bayakufanelekela' ukuqaphela, ukuba uyathanda.
Indlela esiziphatha ngayo kwaye sizibonisa ngayo ithetha kakhulu malunga nendlela esivakalelwa ngayo ngathi.
Nokuba uzama ukufumana imbeko kumphathi wakho okanye kumhla wokuqala, gcina oku engqondweni.
Ukuba ungayibonisa le ntlonipho kunye nezenzo zakho, uya kuvelisa uhlobo olufanelekileyo lwe-vibe!
5. Intlonipho Emsebenzini
Ubudlelwane emsebenzini bunokuba ngumzabalazo, nokuba ngubani obandakanyekayo.
Rhoqo kukho amandla okutshintsha okanye ezopolitiko eofisini ekufuneka uzilandele ngokungafanelekanga, ezinokwenza izinto zikhohlise.
Xa kuziwa kwikhondo lomsebenzi wakho, kubalulekile ukuba uzive uhlonitshwa kwaye wonwabile.
Ukuba usebenza nomntu osebenza naye okanye umphathi, ubugcisa buhamba indlela ende.
Nokuba ungasebenza ngokungaqhelekanga okanye ngokungacwangciswanga kwimeko yakho yomsebenzi, kuyahlawula (ngokoqobo) ukuba uziphathe kakuhle kwaye ube nokuziphatha kakuhle.
Uya kukhawuleza ufumane imbeko koontanga bakho abangamadoda ukuba ungabamba incoko kwaye ugcine umoya wobungcali.
Ukuqhula kuhlala kulungile, kodwa ulumke ungagqithi kwimida.
6. Intlonipho evela kubahlobo
Ubuhlobo bohlukile ekusebenzeni ubudlelwane, ke indlela oziphatha ngayo kubo nabaphi na abahlobo abangamadoda abasondeleyo iya kuhlala yahlukile kuleyo yempangelo.
Abahlobo kufuneka bakwenze uzive ukhuselekile kwaye uzithembile, kwaye ubuhlobo bakho bufanele buzive buluncedo kwaye busempilweni- ixesha elininzi, ubuncinci.
Ukufumana imbeko endodeni kubandakanya inqanaba elifanayo lamandla kunye nokuzimela.
Kwakhona, yiba noluvo! Ukuba awufuni ukubona imovie abayicebisayo, baxelele.
Banokuthi bathathwe kancinci ekuqaleni ukuba awuqhelekanga uzibonakalise kangako, kodwa baya kukuqhela.
Ngokwenza ezi zinto zincinci, uyakha kwakhona indlela abahlobo bakho abangamadoda abakubona ngayo.
Thatha ulawulo ngokuzimela kwaye unamathele kwimipu yakho. Abahlobo bakho bayakuqonda ukuba akukho lula ukuyihamba yonke kwaye baya kukuhlonipha ngokuzithemba kwakho.
7. Intlonipho kubudlelwane
Ukuba usebudlelwaneni kwaye uziva ngathi iqabane lakho alikuhloniphi, kukho into efuna ukutshintsha.
Kubalulekile ukuba uqaphele ukuba awudelwa kwaye kufuneka ushiye ubudlelwane, okanye ukuba le yinto ocinga ukuba ingatshintsha ngaphandle kokuchaphazela impilo yakho okwangoku.
Xa kufikwa kumba wokuyalela imbeko kubudlelwane, ungalandela imigaqo efanayo nolunye unxibelelwano.
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Iprojekthi oyifunayo ukuyifumana kwaye ungoyiki kunxibelelwano oluvulekileyo nolunyanisekileyo.
Ukuba ubudlelwane obutsha, nina nobabini unokufumana nje imida kunye namanqanaba intuthuzelo omnye komnye.
Ukuba benikunye kunye okwethutyana, amanqanaba okungahloniphi oziva usenokuba ngumkhwa ngokuhamba kwexesha.
Nokuba yeyiphi indlela, unokwenza konke okusemandleni akho ukulawula imeko.
Qala ngencoko ethembekileyo malunga nendlela oziva ngayo. Oku kulula kakhulu ukukwenza neqabane kunomphathi wakho, umzekelo, njengoko kufanelekile ukuba uzive ukhuselekile kwaye uthandwa kubudlelwane bakho.
Kulungile ukuba sesichengeni kunye nabo ubathembileyo. Thetha ngendlela oziva ngayo, njani Ndifuna ukuziva, kwaye ucinga ukuba ninokwenza ntoni nina nobabini ukuya apho.
8. Mhlonele
Sonke siyayazi intetho ethi, 'phatha abanye ngendlela onqwenela ukuphathwa ngayo,' kwaye oku kuyinyani xa kuziwa kwintlonipho.
Njengaye nabani na, ukuba ufuna ukuhlonitshwa, kuya kufuneka uyenze loo nto ngamava.
Bonisa intlonipho komnye umntu ngokuthatha ixesha lokumamela oko bakuthethayo, ukujonga abantu emehlweni, kwaye ngokubanzi ube nexesha labo kunye nezimvo zabo.
Ngokubonisa omnye umntu imbeko, uyenza icace into oyilindeleyo.
Sonke sihlala sifunda, ke unokuziva ukhululekile ukumphosela ezinye iindlela zentlalo kwaye umenze aqale kwicala elifanelekileyo!
Amanye amadoda afuna ukuqinisekiswa ukuba ubakhathalele okanye unomdla kuwo.
Asikukhuthazi ukuba ulahle yonke into, kodwa qiniseka ukuba iqabane lakho liyazi ukuba zezona ziphambili ebomini bakho.
Mxelele ukuba mkhulu kangakanani, uxhase usukelo lwakhe, kwaye ube yeyona ntshatsheli yakhe inkulu.
Isenokungabi nangqondo kuwe, kodwa i-ego yamadoda ifuna ukubethwa qho rhoqo, ke musa ukoyika ukudlala kuloo nto.
Vumela iqabane lakho lazi ukuba uyakuthanda ukuchitha ixesha naye, yazisa umphathi wakho ukuba ubalulekile ngokumenzela ikofu.
Yindala kwaye yeyomhla, kodwa ngokuqinisekileyo iyakususa kunyawo lwasekunene!
9. Funda ukuba ungamphatha njani
Kubalulekile ukuzimela ngokwakho xa kufikwa ekufumaneni imbeko kwabanye.
Bonisa ukuba awoyiki ukuba noluvo, kwaye uzithembe ngokwaneleyo ukuba ungayibuyisela loo nto.
Musa ukufumana i-cocky, njengoko oku kunokukhokelela kwimicimbi emininzi yamandla kunye nentukuthelo. Endaweni yoko, qiniseka kwizigqibo zakho kwaye uya kufumana intlonipho enkulu ngaloo nto yodwa.
Amadoda afana nokufumana umceli mngeni xa eqonda ukuba izakulungelana. Ukuba uza kumenza abukeke esisiyatha okanye engafanelekanga phambi koogxa bakhe, ngekhe kuphele kakuhle.
Fumana iindlela zokwenza ingongoma yakho ungamhlazisi.
Yenza kuvakale ngathi ukwiqela elinye - uyaluxabisa uluvo lwakhe, kodwa ucinga ukuba indlela yakho inokusebenza ngcono 'kuye wonke umntu obandakanyekayo.'
Ukuba ungathengisa uluvo lwakho njengesisombululo kwingxaki enkulu, kwaye ukuba uyamvumela athathe ikhredithi ngayo, kungekudala uza kuqala ukubonisa imbeko ngakumbi.
Ewe kunjalo, ngelixa kubalulekile qiniseka nokuzithemba, intlonipho ikwangokuhlangabezana neemfuno zomnye umntu.
Ngamanye amaxesha oko kuthetha ukuthatha inyathelo umva kwaye uye ngendlela ethambileyo-ethambileyo. Oku akudingi ukuba kuthetheke kwi-ego yakhe kuthetha ukuba uhamba nento emlungeleyo.
Amanye amadoda kufuneka aphathwe ngokwahlukileyo, ke oko kunokuthetha ukudlala icala lakho lobufazi kwaye umcele ukuba akuncede.
Mxelele ukuba uyakuxabisa oko akutshoyo kwaye ufuna ukuba akucebise ngeprojekthi yakho yamva nje.
Onke amadoda athanda ukuziva edingekile kwaye ebalulekile, ke dlala kuyo ngokuza kuye ukuze ufumane uncedo rhoqo.
Uya kufumana intlonipho eninzi ngokuguquguquka kwakho. Ukuba ubhetyebhetye ngeendlela zakho kunye nezigqibo, uya kuqala akuhloniphe.
Zama izinto ezimbalwa ezahlukeneyo ukuze ufumane oko kusebenza kakhulu kumntu ngamnye ojamelana naye.
Xa kuziwa ekusombululeni ukungavisisani, kuyakufuneka ube nentliziyo evulekileyo kwaye uzimisele ukwamkela izimvo zabo-njengoko unokwenza nakubani na, ngenene!
10. Funda ngokuziPhatha
Ukufunda ukuphatha ngokwakho yenye yeendlela ezilungileyo zokufumana imbeko endodeni.
Kwakhona, sisidala esidala, kodwa sikhona isizathu - amadoda acinga ukuba abantu basetyhini baneemvakalelo ezigqithileyo.
Ukuba indoda iyacaphuka entlanganisweni, inomdla kwaye iqhutywa kwikhondo lomsebenzi wayo. Ukuba umfazi wenza okufanayo, uyahlutha kwaye akazinzanga.
Le yindlela engafanelekanga yokwahlula isini, kodwa yenzeka ngalo lonke ixesha.
Yiba phambili komdlalo ngokulawula iimvakalelo zakho kwaye unganiki nawaphi na amadoda isizathu sokuba akubone 'njengowasetyhini oqhelekileyo onemvakalelo.'
Oko kuthetha ukuhlala ujonge kwaye ube yingcali kwindawo yokusebenza. Akukho kulila, akukho kuthetha ngeemvakalelo zakho.
Gcina olo hlobo lwento ngobusuku bewayini kunye namantombazana kwaye ujolise ekubeni ube yingcali ngangokunokwenzeka.
Kuyafana nakubudlelwane bakho - unganiki iqabane lakho nasiphi na isizathu sokucinga ukuba unomona ongenangqondo, okanye naziphi na ezinye iimpawu zobuntu ezingcoliswe ngabafazi!
Hlala uzolile, bonisa intlonipho ngokwakho ngokuqhubeka nezinto, kwaye kungekudala uza kutyhila ngentlonipho.
Yiba nazo naziphi na iimpazamo ozenzayo. Oku kuya kunceda amadoda akuhloniphe ngakumbi njengoko aya kubona ukuba awoyiki ukuthatha uxanduva.
Hlala uphendula kwaye amadoda aya kuqonda ukuba awuyiki into enokucinga ngayo.
Baza kuhlonipha ukunyaniseka kwakho kunye nokunyaniseka kwaye baya kugqiba ukukuthemba ngakumbi kunokuba benzile ngaphambi kokuba wenze iphutha - kwaye ukuthembela kubaluleke kakhulu xa kuziwa kwintlonipho.
11. Yiba Nethemba
Ingaziva ingenakwenzeka ngamanye amaxesha, kodwa utshintsho luya kwenzeka ukuba uyayilandela.
Iprojekthi oyifunayo kwaye ufumane konke okusemandleni akho ukuba uhlale unethemba kwaye unomdla ovulekileyo.
Ukuba izinto ziya zisiba ninzi kwaye usokola ngokwenene kulwalamano, nokuba kungobungcali okanye kukuthandana, kungafuneka ucinge ngokwenza utshintsho olukhulu ngokwakho.
izimvo zokwenza xa udikwe ekhaya
Ekupheleni kosuku, sonke kufanelekile ukuba, kwaye sizive, sihlonitshwe. Ukuba indoda ekuthethwa ngayo ayinakho okanye ayizimiselanga kuzalisekisa loo mfuno, sicebisa ukuba unqumle amaqhina kwaye wenze konke okusemandleni akho ukuba uqhubeke.
Ngaphandle kwalonto, hlala uqinisekile kwaye uqhubeke nokunyanzela into owaziyo ukuba uyifanele.
Abanye abantu ngokunyanisekileyo bafuna nje ukuxelelwa ngendlela yokuziphatha, ke khumbula ukuba ukuthembeka sisitshixo!
Ngaba awuqinisekanga ukuba ungayenza njani indoda yakho ikuhloniphe?Kuxhomekeka kwindlela aziphethe ngayo ngoku kunye nendlela akuphatha ngayo, kunokuba luncedo ekufumaneni iingcebiso ezifanelekileyo kulwalamano lobuchwephesha. Ukuthetha nomntu malunga nemeko yakho kunye nokufumana ingxelo xa uzama iindlela ezahlukeneyo kunokufumana ubudlelwane bakho apho ufuna ukuba ube khona.Ke kutheni ungaxoxi kwi-Intanethi kwenye yeengcali ezivela kwiQabane lobuhlobo ezinokukunceda ukukukhokela kule nto. Ngokulula.
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