Umntwana okhulileyo ongamhloniphiyo umzali wakhe ekhayeni lakhe yimeko yoxinzelelo, enzima.
Kunzima ukuba umzali aluphathe olu hlobo lokungahloniphi kuba bahlala bengaziva begunyazisiwe ukuba benze imithetho ngokungathi bayakwenza ngomntwana omncinci okanye banyanzelise imida ngokungathi bayakwenza ngomntu omdala ongenantlonipho abangazalaniyo naye.
Umntwana okhulileyo ngumntu omdala, ngokunokwenzeka noxinzelelo kunye noxanduva lwabo, kwaye banokungazibambi uxinzelelo lobomi ngendlela esempilweni.
Eso akusosizathu sokwamkela okanye sokuvumela ukungabi nantlonelo.Wonke umntu kufuneka afunde indlela yokulawula uxinzelelo kunye neemvakalelo.
Kwiimeko ezinje ngezi, kulula ukuba nomsindo emva kwawo onke amadini, ixesha, kunye namandla angene ekukhuliseni umntwana.
Umntwana omdala owenza ukungabongi okanye ukungabonakalisi ntlonelo angaziva eyimpama ebusweni, kodwa umsindo uhlala uyenza mandundu imeko kuba uyomeleza ukuba umntwana omdala unelungelo lokucinga ngendlela abenza ngayo okanye abenze ngayo.
Indlela yokujongana nomntwana okhule engenantlonipho ixhomekeke ikakhulu ekubeni indelelo ivelaphi. Yiyo i-engile esiza kuqala kuyo.
1. Zama ukuvelana nomntwana wakho omdala ukuze nibone ukuba buvela phi ubutshaba babo.
Okokuqala nokuphambili, oku kuyakuba ngumsebenzi onamathelayo kuba kufuna ukuzazi nokuzimisela ukunyaniseka kwisiqu sakho.
Akukho mzali ugqibelele kwaye abanye benza iimpazamo ezinkulu ngakumbi kunabanye.
Kwaye abanye benza iimpazamo ezinzulu ezenze ukuba uxhatshazo okanye iimeko ezigwenxa ezibangele umphumo ohlala ixesha elide kwingqondo yomntwana kunye nokuziqonda kwabo.
Ngamanye amaxesha, eyona nto sinokuyenza ayisiyiyo yonke loo nto ilungileyo, kwaye kuthatha ixesha kunye nomzamo omdibeneyo wokuvumelana naloo nyani.
Umntwana okhulileyo usenokuba uzama ukusombulula iingxaki zabo kwaye ahambelane nobomi ebebunabo ukuza kuthi ga ngelo xesha.
Ngamanye amaxesha, banokuthatha isigqibo sokusola umzali ngezo ngxaki, ingaba banoxanduva okanye hayi.
Banokuzama ukufumana iinyawo zabo njengomntu okhulileyo kwaye babe nengqondo yelizwe elinamaxesha aqinisekileyo.
Iindaba ziyothusa, imithombo yeendaba zentlalo ibalaselisa yonke into esingenayo kwaye isikhumbuza ngolonwabo esicinga ukuba kufuneka sibe nalo, kwaye abantu abanakuba yiyo yonke loo nto.
Uxinzelelo kunye noxinzelelo lokusebenza emsebenzini nasesikolweni kunokubangela nawuphina umntu ukuba aphume, ingakumbi kwabo babangqongileyo.
Asinguye wonke umntu okwaziyo ukujongana noxinzelelo kakuhle. Umntwana okhulileyo usenokuba akanamava okanye ubukrelekrele bemvakalelo yokuphatha owabo umthwalo kakuhle.
uyandithanda okanye ufuna nje isex
Banokuba besokola nemicimbi yezempilo yengqondo ethe yanda kuyo yonke indawo. Ukugula ngengqondo kuqhelekile kwaye kunokuba nempembelelo enkulu kwindlela umntu asebenzisana ngayo nehlabathi kunye nabantu ababathandayo.
Zama ukuzibeka ezicathulweni zomntwana wakho omdala okomzuzwana.
Uyabona ukuba bajongene nantoni? Ukuba kukho into ekulula ukuyichonga, yinto onokuthi usebenze kuyo kunye nomntwana wakho omdala.
2. Yiba nencoko nomntwana wakho omdala malunga nokuziphatha okungenambeko.
Incoko inokuba lula ngokwaneleyo ukuqala:
Ndifuna ukuthetha nawe malunga nokuziphatha kwakho okungenantlonelo kum. Kuqhubeka ntoni ngawe? Kutheni usenza ngoluhlobo?
Ukuvula le ncoko kukunika ithuba lokuva ukuba kuqhubeka ntoni ngomntwana wakho omdala.
Banokutyhila ulwazi okanye uxinzelelo obungazi malunga nalo olunokuchaphazela indlela abaziphethe ngayo.
Oku kuya kukunceda ukuba ube novelwano olungcono ngemeko yabo okanye uxinzelelo.
Kubalulekile ukugcina ukuzola kwakho kwaye uhlale uvulekile xa ubuza olu hlobo lombuzo.
Umntwana okhulileyo unokufumana ukugxeka okungqwabalala malunga nawe okanye banokuthi benze njengenxalenye yomnqweno wabo wokutshintsha amaphiko abo kunye nokuziphatha.
Oko kunokuba nzima, ngakumbi xa usazi ukuba wenza konke onako ukukwenza ukuba umntwana wakho abe nobomi obonwabileyo nobonwabisayo.
Kwelinye icala, basenokungaphenduli kakuhle kolo phando, kwimeko apho kuya kufuneka ubeke phantsi kwaye unyanzelise imida ethile, efanayo naleyo ubuya kuyenza nakowuphi na umntu ongamhloniphiyo.
Ukulungiselela ukuhamba ngale nkqubo, siza kubiza la manyathelo 3A kunye 3B.
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3A. Umntwana omdala uzimisele ukuthetha malunga nento eyenzekayo kwaye ufuna ukufumana ukulungelelanisa.
Eyona meko ilungileyo, iindlela zonxibelelwano ziyavuleka kwaye ungawusombulula ingxaki nomntwana wakho.
Basenokungayiqondi into yokuba baziphatha gwenxa okanye khange baqonde ukuba indlela abaziphethe ngayo ikuchaphazela njani.
Iyenzeka. Akukho mntu ugqibelele.
Banokuthatha isigqibo sokutshintsha isimilo sabo ngokupheleleyo okanye nobabini kungafuneka nifumane ulungelelwaniso olulihloniphayo nobabini.
Thatha ixesha lokujonga ngononophelo nakuphi na ukulalanisa oza kukwenza ukuqinisekisa ukuba bayayihlonipha imida kunye neemvakalelo zakho.
Kulungile ukunika umhlaba omncinci, qiniseka nje ukuba ayinguwe wedwa onikayo.
Kusengqiqweni ukuba ulindele ukuba kuphuculwe indlela yokuziphatha kwaye ulandele nokuba yeyiphi na imithetho yekhaya.
3B. Umntwana omdala akazimiselanga ukuthetha ngento eyenzekayo kwaye uyala ukulalanisa.
Ukuba umntwana okhulileyo akazimiselanga ukuthetha kwaye afumanise ukulalanisa, kuya kufuneka ubeke imithetho ethile kwaye unyanzelise imida yakho ukuze uzikhusele.
Basenokungacingi ukuba le nto bayenzayo imbi, banokufuna indlela yabo njengomntu omdala, okanye banokuba neminye imicimbi abangayiqondiyo okanye abangazimiselanga kuyithetha.
Nokuba siyintoni na isizathu, uvumelekile ukuba wenze imithetho kwaye ube nemida yeyakho, Nokuba oko kuthetha ukuba umntwana wakho okhulileyo ukhetha ukungahlali phantsi kophahla lwakho, imithetho kunye nemida.
'Kodwa andinakuyenza loo nto emntwaneni wam!'
Bambalwa abazali abafuna ukuthathwa njengabakhohlakeleyo okanye abangenabubele emntwaneni wabo. Inyani yile yokuba imida ibalulekile kwaye iyimfuneko ukuze abantu bakhule.
Ukumisela nokunyanzelisa imida yinto ebangela ukukhula okusempilweni. Ifundisa umntwana omdala ukuba abanako nje ukwenza le nto bayifunayo, bafumane le nto bayifunayo, nanini na bafuna.
Uhlobo akufuneki luthethe okuhle. Ububele abuhlali busiza ngoncumo.
Ngamanye amaxesha ukwala okungagungqiyo ukugoba kwinto oziva ngathi ayilunganga, ukuze abanye babone ukuba kukho indlela ebhetele yokwenza izinto, eqhuba ukukhula kwabo.
4. Landela yonke imithetho, imida kunye nolungelelwaniso olufikelele kulo.
Elona candelo linzima lenkqubo kukulandela ixesha elide.
Imithetho iya kwaphulwa, imida iya kuvavanywa, kwaye ukuyekelela kunokwaphulwa.
Xa oko kusenzeka, kufuneka uzimisele kwaye ukwazi ukunyanzelisa iziphumo zokhetho lomntwana wakho omdala.
Ekugqibeleni, indlela abakhetha ukwenza ngayo nokuphendula lukhetho lwabo.
Cacisa kunye nomntwana wakho malunga neziphumo zokungabi nambeko kwabo kwaye ubanyanzelise.
Abantu ngokubanzi baya kukuphatha ngendlela obavumela bakuphathe ngayo. Ukuba bayazi ukuba banokuhamba phezu kwakho, baya kuthi. Ukuba bayazi ukuba abanakukubaleka ngokwenza oko, baya kuba nentlonipho ngokubanzi.
Ngokwenyani uyalela into ovumayo ukuyinyamezela ngokunganikeli okanye unyanzelise iziphumo. Ifuna ukuba yinxalenye yencwadi yakho yokudlala.
5. Wena nomntwana wakho omdala ninokungafaniyo okanye niphile ngeendlela ezingafaniyo.
Abanye abantu abaxubeki kakuhle, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha abo bantu banokunxulumana.
Ungamthanda umntu kodwa ungazithandi ukuba ungubani na.
Okanye ungamthanda loo mntu, kodwa ubuntu bakhe kunye nendlela abenza ngayo ubomi babo yinto encinci.
Wena kunye nomntwana wakho okhulileyo ninokungahambelani ukuhlala kwindawo yomntu ngamnye ixesha elide.
Nobabini ninokudinga nje ikhefu omnye komnye ukuze uncede ukucoca umoya, wenze indawo, kwaye unike wonke umntu ithuba lokuphefumla.
Akukho nto iphosakeleyo ngokuthabatha ikhefu omnye komnye. Ubudlelwane bunokuphucuka ngokumangalisayo kunye nexesha kunye nendawo phakathi kwabantu abaphikisanayo.
6. Umcebisi wosapho angangoyena unokukhetha.
Inkqubo ebhalwe kweli nqaku inokusebenzela abantu abahlangabezana neengxaki ngokubanzi ngomntwana wabo omdala.
Ngamanye amaxesha ezo ngxaki ziba nzulu kunokuba besinokucinga.
Umntwana okhulileyo unokuba nezinto eziqhubeka nazo ezingafuni ukuba zabelane nomzali wakhe.
Umsindo wabo okanye ukungabi nantlonelo kunokuba neengcambu kwiingxaki ongenako ukujongana nazo ngokufanelekileyo, njengokugula ngengqondo okanye ukwenzakala.
Unganqikazi ukubonisana nengcali yezempilo yengqondo eqinisekisiweyo malunga nengxaki.
Banokusebenza njengenkxaso yemvakalelo yokudibanisa njengoko usebenza kubunzima ojamelene nabo nomntwana wakho.
Yindlela enzima ukuzama ukuhamba wedwa. Uncedo lobuchwephesha lunokwenza inkqubo icace ngakumbi, ukuba akukho lula.
