Ukuqonda amanqanaba osizi kunye nendlela yokubuhlungu ngokulahleka kwakho

Isiqulatho

• Icandelo 1: Isingeniso kwintlungu
• • 1.1: Iindidi ezahlukeneyo zentlungu
• Icandelo 2: Iimodeli zosizi
• • 2.1: Amanqanaba amahlanu osizi nguGqirha Elisabeth Kübler-Ross noDavid Kessler
  • 2.2: ImiSebenzi emine yokuzilela nguGqirha J. William Worden
  • 2.3: Amanqanaba amane obuhlungu nguGqirha John Bowlby kunye noGqr Colin Murray Parkes
  • 2.4: Iinkqubo ezithandathu zikaRando zokuBuyisa kwakhona nguGqirha Therese Rando
  • 2.5: Inkqubo yeDual Model yoMvandedwa kaMargaret Stoebe noHenk Schut
  • 2.6: Imodeli yelahleko / uhlengahlengiso olwenziwe nguMardi Horowitz, MD
• Icandelo lesi-3: Iingcebiso zokuziKhathalela zokuLilela
• Icandelo 4: Iintsomi eziqhelekileyo malunga nosizi
• Icandelo 5: Ekuvalweni…

Inqaku lomhleli: esi sikhokelo asiyoncwadi yemiyalelo yosizi. Oku ayisiyiyo “Ukulilela iiDummies,” kwaye ayisiyondlela yenyathelo nenyathelo ekufuneka uyilandele.

Ngelixa ixoxa ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo ezichaza amanqanaba osizi umntu anokufumana kuwo, ezi zibonelelwe ukukunceda uchaze indlela oziva ngayo kwaye uqonde ukuba kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuziva ngale ndlela.

Unokunxibelelana nezinye zezi zinto zibhalwe apha ngezantsi, okanye akunjalo. Kulungile nangayiphi na indlela.

Sebenzisa esi sikhokelo njengesiqalo apho uza kuvavanya iingcinga zakho, iimvakalelo zakho kunye namava akho osizi.

unokuba mhle njani xa umbi

Intlungu yintlungu enamandla, ehlala ixhaphakile, yemvelo ethi ifumaneke ebantwini ngexesha lokulahleka okukhulu.

Inokubangelwa kukusweleka komntu omthandayo, utshintsho olukhulu kwimeko yobomi bomntu, isifo esiqatha okanye isifo esibulalayo, okanye nayiphi na enye ilahleko ngequbuliso okanye enkulu.

Umntu unokuzifumana eziva elusizi kakhulu okanye nokuba ndindisholo ngokupheleleyo xa bezama ukuqhubeka nobomi babo bemihla ngemihla, kodwa abakwazi ngenxa yobunzima beemvakalelo abahlangabezana nazo.

Intlungu yahlukile kuba inomdla kakhulu ngelixa ingamava kwindalo iphela. Wonke umntu uhlangabezana naloo nqanaba, nangona ubungakanani kunye nesikali singahluka ngokuxhomekeke kwinto ebangelwe lusizi kunye nembonakalo yexhala.

Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba ungazami ukutyhala iimvakalelo zakho okanye zomntu omthandayo kwibhokisi encinci ecocekileyo ukuzama ukubenza ukuba baqonde. Abantu kunye neemvakalelo zabo zinzima kakhulu kunoko, kwaye uya kuphumelela kuphela ekuhlukaniseni nasekucaphukiseni abo basentlungwini.

Esi sikhokelo silandelayo senzelwe ukukunika isishwankathelo seentlobo ezahlukeneyo zentlungu, amava kunye neempawu ezijikeleze usizi, iimodeli zokulila, ezinye iingcebiso kunye neendlela zokulwa, kunye nokulahla ezinye zeentsomi eziqhelekileyo malunga nosizi.

Masiqale ngeentlobo ezahlukeneyo zosizi umntu anokuhlangabezana nazo.

Intlungu inokubonakaliswa ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo kuxhomekeke emntwini. Inokuchaphazela umntu ngokwasemzimbeni, ngokwasentlalweni, ngokuziphatha, okanye ngokuqonda ngokutshintsha kweendlela zokuziphatha kunye namandla abo okusebenza.

Intlungu eqhelekileyo - Usizi oluqhelekileyo akufuneki luthathwe njengolunye uhlobo nangayiphi na indlela. Ligama nje elikhethiweyo ukubonisa uhlobo lwentlungu umntu anokulindela ukuba umntu adlule kuyo xa ejongene nelahleko.

Umntu ohlangabezana nosizi oluqhelekileyo uya kulungisa iimvakalelo zabo kwaye ahambele ekwamkeleni ilahleko, ngamandla okuncipha, ngelixa bekwazi ukugcina ubomi babo.

Akukho buhlungu bufanele ukuthathwa njengongabalulekanga okanye obungaphantsi komnye. Intlungu yokulahleka iyinyani kwaye ibalulekile.

Usizi olulindelweyo -Umntu unokufumana usizi olulindelweyo xa edibana nokuxilongwa okwenzakalisa yena okanye umntu amthandayo.

Ukudideka kunye nokuziva unetyala kuhlala kuhamba nosizi olulindelweyo kuba umntu usaphila.

Luhlobo lokuzila ngenxa yezicwangciso ezazibekwe ngaphambili okanye ezilindelweyo kunye neemvakalelo ezijikeleze ukuphulukana naloo mkhwa wexesha elide kunye nokuba sempilweni komntu.

Olu luhlobo losizi oluqhele ukudibaniswa nezinto ezinje ngesifo esinganyangekiyo.

Intlungu exineneyo Intlungu eyinkimbinkimbi ikwabizwa ngokuba yintlungu eyenzakalisayo okanye ende.

Umntu unokuba nosizi oluntsonkothileyo ukuba ukwimeko eyandisiweyo yosizi ephazamisa amandla abo okuziphatha rhoqo ebomini.

Banokubonisa indlela yokuziphatha engahambelaniyo kunye neemvakalelo, ezinje ngokuziva unetyala ngokunzulu, ukuzibulala, iingcinga zokuzibulala okanye ubundlobongela, utshintsho olukhulu kwindlela yokuphila, okanye ukusebenzisa gwenxa iziyobisi.

Oku kunokubangela ukuba umntu aphephe intlungu yabo kunye bengazivumeli ukuba bazive iimvakalelo ekufuneka beziva ukuba bayachacha.

Intlungu ebiweyo Intlungu engafunekiyo iyabambeka ngakumbi kwaye inokubonisa ukuswelekelwa ngumntu okanye into abantu abangayi kuhlala bedibana nayo, enjengomhlobo oqhelekileyo, umntu osebenza naye, umntu otshate naye, okanye izilwanyana zasekhaya.

Inokubandakanya uhlobo lokwehla okunxulunyaniswa nesifo esinganyangekiyo kumntu omthandayo, njengokukhubazeka komzimba okanye isifo sengqondo esixhalabisayo.

Olu hlobo lwentlungu lusuka kwabanye abantu bangayibeki ukubaluleka kwentlungu yomntu, ebaxelela ukuba ayiyonto imbi okanye kufuneka bayimunce bajongane nayo.

Intlungu engapheliyo -Umntu onentlungu engapheliyo unokubonisa iimpawu ezinxulunyaniswa nokudakumba okukhulu, ezinje ngeemvakalelo ezingapheliyo zokuphelelwa lithemba, ukuba ndindisholo, kunye nosizi.

Umntu okhathazayo unokuziphepha ngokuthe ngqo iimeko ezibakhumbuza ngelahleko yabo, abangakholelwa ukuba ilahleko yenzekile, okanye nokuba nezinto eziphambili zeenkolelo zabo ezibuzwa ngenxa yelahleko.

Intlungu engapheliyo inokuthi iguquke ibe kukusebenzisa gwenxa iziyobisi, ukuzenzakalisa, iingcinga zokuzibulala, kunye noxinzelelo lweklinikhi ukuba ziyekwe zingalungiswa.

Intlungu eqokelelweyo Usizi olongezelelekileyo lunokwenzeka ukuba umntu uhlaselwa ziintlekele ezininzi ngexesha elifutshane apho bengenalo ixesha elifanelekileyo lokukhathaza ilahleko nganye.

Usizi olufihliweyo -Ubuhlungu bunokubonakaliswa ngeendlela ze-atypical, ezinje ngeempawu zomzimba okanye ngaphandle kweempawu zokuziphatha. Oku kwaziwa ngokuba lusizi olufihliweyo. Umntu okhalayo uhlala engazi ukuba utshintsho lunxulumene nosizi lwabo.

Intlungu egqwethekileyo -Umntu okhathazekileyo unokuziva enetyala okanye umsindo ohambelana nelahleko ekhokelela kutshintsho kwindlela yokuziphatha, ubutshaba, ukuzenzakalisa kunye nokuziphatha okuyingozi , iziyobisi, okanye ukuzenzakalisa.

Intlungu ebaxekileyo - Olu hlobo losizi luqinisa into enokuthi ithathwa njengempendulo eqhelekileyo yosizi. Inokukhula ngamandla njengoko ixesha liqhubeka.

Umntu angabonakalisa ukuzenzakalisa, utyekelo lokuzibulala, enye indlela yokuziphatha eyingozi, ukusetyenziswa gwenxa kweziyobisi, amaphupha amabi, kunye noloyiko olugqithisileyo. Olu hlobo lwandisiweyo lwentlungu lusenokubangela ukuphazamiseka kwengqondo okucwangcisiweyo kuvele.

Intlungu ethintelweyo -Abantu abaninzi abaziva bekhululekile ukubonisa intlungu yabo, ke bayathula kwaye bathule bodwa.

Oku, kukodwa, ayisiyonto imbi ukuba nje basathatha ixesha lokuba buhlungu ngendlela yabo.

Iba yinto embi xa umntu engazivumeli ukuba akhathazeke kwaphela, enokwenza ukuba usizi lwabo lubi kakhulu kwaye kubenzima ukujamelana nalo njengoko ixesha lihamba.

Usizi oluhlangeneyo Intlungu ehlanganyelweyo yile yeqela, njengaxa intlekele ihlasela uluntu okanye umntu wasemhlabeni eswelekile.

Intlungu efinyeziweyo -Umntu ofumana ilahleko unokufumana into ezalisa isithuba esasishiywe yilahleko, ebangela ukuba babe nosizi olufinyeziweyo.

Oku kunokwenzeka kwakhona xa umntu ekubone ukwehla kancinci kothandekayo, esazi ukuba isiphelo siza, kwaye wayenamava okulindela. Intlungu abaya kuba nayo emva kokuba umntu abamthandayo eswelekile sisifinyezo sentlungu.

Intlungu engekho -Intlungu engekhoyo yenzekile xa umntu engayamkeli ilahleko kwaye angabonisi zimpawu zosizi. Oku kunokwenzeka ngenxa yokothuka okanye ukukhanyela okunzulu.

Ukuphulukana kwesekondari Ukuphulukana okwesibini kunokubangela usizi kwixhoba. Ilahleko zesekondari zizinto ezilahlekileyo ngokungangqalanga ngenxa yentlekele.

Ukufa kweqabane kunokuthetha ukuphulukana nengeniso, ukulahleka kwendlu, ukulahleka kwesazisi, kunye nelahleko yazo naziphi na izicwangciso isibini esasinazo ngekamva. Ezi lahleko zongezelelweyo zihlala zifuna ukulila nazo.

Kule minyaka, usizi luye lwafundwa ngabantu abaninzi bezama ukuqonda amava onke.

Ezi zifundo zinike umhlaba iimodeli ezahlukeneyo zosizi ezizama ukusebenza njengesikhokelo ngokubanzi kwiimvakalelo ezinxulumene kunye neenkqubo.

Zonke iimodeli zosizi zinengxaki yesiphene esifanayo- ukuba akunakwenzeka ukuba uchaze ngokuthe gca amava omntu ngokwamaqela ezonyango kunye namagama.

Wonke umntu uhlangabezana nentlungu eyahlukileyo. Wonke umntu uneendlela ezahlukeneyo zokuziva ukuba usizi lukhona okanye alukho. Abanye abantu bajonga amava amabi ngobukrakra obuninzi okanye obuncinci kunabanye.

Ke, iimodeli zinokujongwa njenge Umgaqo ngokubanzi wesithupha kwaye akukho nto iyenye.

Izinto ezingama-25 onokuzenza xa ukruqukile

Esi sikhokelo siza kugubungela ngokufutshane iimodeli ezintandathu zosizi, zonke zinokufaneleka kunye nokusilela kwazo. Khumbula: akukho modeli ichazayo esebenza kuye wonke umntu okanye kwimeko.

Kwaye, uphando oluthe kratya kunye nenkqubela phambili kwizifundo ezinxulumene nosizi kunye nentlungu yokufelwa zibambe ukuba abantu abaninzi abanamava obundlobongela ngendlela enefuthe elibi kubuchule babo bokuziphatha ubomi babo, ngenxa yoko akukho mzekelo ulinganayo kubo kuba abadluli kuwo nawaphi na amanqanaba ngokubonakalayo indlela.

Imodeli yaseKübler-Ross ayizange isebenze ekuqaleni kwintlungu yelahleko. Ugqirha Kübler-Ross uphuhlise umfuziselo ukwenza ingcinga yenkqubo yeemvakalelo zomntu owamkelayo ukuba bayasweleka, uninzi lomsebenzi wakhe ubandakanya abagulela ukufa, kwaye waziswa ngolohlobo kwincwadi yakhe yowe-1969, Ekufeni nasekufeni .

Kwakungekade kube kamva wavuma ukuba imodeli yakhe inokusebenza nakwindlela abantu abahlangabezana ngayo nosizi kunye nentlekele.

Imodeli yafumana ukubambeka okuqhelekileyo kwaye ekugqibeleni yaba lungelelwaniso kwi-psychology pop.

Imodeli kaKübler-Ross ibeka ukuba umntu onentlungu uza kudlula kumanqanaba amahlanu, kungabikho myalelo-ukukhanyela, umsindo, ukuxoxisana, uxinzelelo, ulwamkelo.

Ukukhanyela

Ukukhanyelwa ngokubanzi kuthathwa njengenyathelo lokuqala kwintlungu. Inokuthatha uhlobo lokothuka kunye nokungabikho kolwamkelo ngayo nayiphi na intlekele esinokuhlangabezana nayo. Umntu angaziva ebundindisholo, ngokungathi akanakukwazi ukuqhubeka, okanye akafuni kuqhubeka.

Kucingelwa ukuba ukwala kunceda ekuthini ukuhlaselwa kwentlungu yokuqala kunxulunyaniswe nelahleko, ukuze ingqondo yamkele ilahleko kwaye isebenze ngeemvakalelo ezinxulumene noko kwisantya sayo.

Umsindo

Umsindo unikezela nge-ankile ebalulekileyo kunye nolwakhiwo lwexesha elinesiphithiphithi.

Impembelelo yokuqala yelahleko inokushiya umntu eziva engenanjongo kwaye engenasiseko. Umntu osentlungwini unokufumana umsindo wakhe ujolise kulo naliphi na inani lezalathiso ezahlukeneyo, kwaye kulungile.

Ihlala iyinxalenye yenkqubo yokuza nelahleko engalindelekanga. Kubalulekile ukuzivumela ukuba yiva umsindo wabo , kuba ekugqibeleni iya kunika ezinye iindlela zokuqhubekeka.

Iingxoxo

Umntu unokuzibona ethethathethana ngokuzama ukuqonda kunye nelahleko yakhe, ukuzama ukugcina ubomi babo njengoko babekade besazi njalo.

Oku kunokuza ngokuzama ukuxoxa ngegunya elingaphezulu ukuba ubani unomoya othembekileyo (“Thixo, nceda ugcine umntwana wam kwaye ndiza…”) okanye nesiqu sakho (“Ndizakwenza yonke into ukuze ndibengumfazi ongcono xa iqabane lakho liyakwenza oku. ”)

Ukuxoxisana yimpendulo yendalo yomntu osebenzela ukuza kummiselo nge utshintsho ebomini babo .

Uxinzelelo

Usizi olunzulu njengoxinzelelo lunokuvakala kwilahleko. Olu lusizi alunyanzelekanga ukuba lubonise ukugula ngengqondo, kodwa yenye impendulo yendalo kwilahleko enkulu.

Umntu unokurhoxa, Ndiziva ndililolo kwaye ndedwa , kwaye uzibuze ukuba ngaba akukho ngongoma yokuqhubeka uqhubeke.

Olu hlobo loxinzelelo ayisiyonto eza kuhamba okanye ilungiswe, nangona impendulo kunokuba kukuzama ukuyilungisa.

Ukuzivumela ukuba uve usizi lwabo, uxinzelelo olunzulu, kuya kubavumela ukuba baqhubeke nohambo lwabo lokwamkela.

Ukwamkelwa

Ukwamkelwa kuhlala kudidekile kukuziva ulungile xa ulahlekelwe. Uninzi lwabantu aluziva lulungile xa ulahlekelwe kakhulu.

Ukwamkelwa ngakumbi kukuba sifunda ukusebenza kwaye siqhubele phambili, kwanomngxunya oshiyekileyo ebomini bethu.

Isivumela ukuba sithathe amaqhekeza aseleyo kwaye siqhubele phambili nathi kwikamva, siqhubela phambili apho siqala khona ukuba nezinto ezilungileyo kun iintsuku ezimbi kwakhona.

Oko akuthethi ukuba sithatha indawo yelahleko, kodwa sizivumele ukuba sakhe unxibelelwano olutsha kwaye siqhubeke nokufumana ubomi.

Ndiyabulela ukwamkelwa okuqhelekileyo kwemodeli yaseKübler-Ross, abanye baye bashenxisa iimodeli ezifanayo eziguqula umsebenzi wokuqala kaGqr. Kübler-Ross. Eyona idumileyo zezi ziNqanaba ezisixhenxe zobuhlungu, apho umntu ongaziwayo wongeze amanyathelo ambalwa (ahlala ahluka ngokuxhomekeka ekubeni ngowuphi umthombo).

Akubonakali ngathi le modeli itshintshileyo ivele kuye nawuphina umntu ovunyiweyo okanye iziko.

Umda wemodeli yaseKübler-Ross kukuba ubeka into umntu osentlungwini anokuthi ahambe nayo, kodwa engathethi ngendlela umntu anokuzilawula ngayo iintlungu kwaye aqhubeke nohambo lwabo lokuphilisa.

Ugqirha J. William Worden ucebise ukuba kukho imisebenzi emi-4 yokulila ekufuneka umntu ayigqibile ukufikelela kwinqanaba lokulinganisa kunye nentlungu yakhe.

Le misebenzi mine ayimigca, ayinyanzelekanga ukuba ibotshelelwe kulo naliphi na ixesha, kwaye ixhomekeke ekubeni iimeko zihamba njani na. Le misebenzi ngokubanzi isebenza xa kusweleke umntu omthandayo.

Umsebenzi wokuQala-Yamkela inyani yelahleko.

U-Worden wayekholelwa ukuba ukwamkela inyani yelahleko sisiseko sako konke ukuphilisa kwangaphambili.

Umntu osokolayo ukwamkela ubunyani belahleko unokuthatha inxaxheba kwimisebenzi eqinisekisa ukuba ilahleko yenzekile.

Njengomzekelo, ukuba umntu omthandayo usweleke, ukubukela umzimba okanye ukunceda ukucwangcisa umngcwabo kunokumnceda umntu amkele ukuba ilahleko yenzekile.

Umsebenzi wesiBini-Yenza intlungu yakho kunye nentlungu.

Zininzi iindlela ezingapheliyo zokuba umntu aqhubekeke nentlungu kunye nentlungu.

Akukho mpendulo iphosakeleyo yokwenene okoko nje izenzo zomntu zibanceda ukuba baqhubekeke, kwaye azisetyenziswa njengokubaleka kwinyani yabo entsha.

Abanye abantu kufuneka benze nje thetha ngayo , abanye bafuna unyango olugxile ngakumbi, abanye banokusebenzisa iintshukumo kunye nemisebenzi ukunceda ukuhamba nokujongana- njengomsebenzi wokuzithandela neqela elinxulumene nokwenzakala kwabo.

Umsebenzi wesiThathu-Lungisa umhlaba ngaphandle kothandekayo kuwo.

Ukufa komntu omthandayo kuya kuzisa utshintsho ebomini bomntu. Ukwamkela olo tshintsho kunye nokuqhubela phambili kunokunceda lowo ukhathazekileyo ukuba amkele ilahleko.

Oko kunokuthetha ukwenza izinto ezinje ngokutshintsha iimeko zokuhlala, ukubuyela emsebenzini, kunye nokuphuhlisa izicwangciso ezitsha zekamva ngaphandle komntu omthandayo.

Ukungabikho kongasekhoyo kunokuchaphazela umntu ngeendlela ezininzi, ngendlela engalindelekanga. Ngokukhawuleza baqala ukwenza olo hlengahlengiso, kuya kuba lula kubo ukuqala kwindlela yabo entsha yobomi.

Umsebenzi wesine-Ukufumana indlela yokugcina unxibelelwano nomntu osweleke ngelixa uqala ebomini bakho.

Inqanaba lesine libandakanya ixhoba lifumana indlela yokugcina unxibelelwano lweemvakalelo nomntu wabo obathandayo oswelekileyo, ngelixa bekwazi ukuqhubekeka beqhuba ubomi babo.

Ayisiyo eyokulibala okanye ukuyeka oswelekileyo omthandayo, ungabinayo loo nto intlungu ngaphambili nakwiziko, kulawula ubomi bexhoba kunye nokuphila kakuhle.

U-Worden ugxininise kakhulu ukuba akukho xesha lifanelekileyo lokuba umntu asebenze kule misebenzi mine. Abanye abantu banokuhamba ngokukhawuleza, abanye bangathatha iinyanga okanye iminyaka ukufikelela kuzo.

Abantu bafumana ilahleko ngeendlela ezininzi ezahlukeneyo kunye namandla, ngenxa yoko olona khetho lulungileyo kuku Linda njengokuba ixhoba lihamba indlela yalo.

Ukuxela kwangaphambili i-Kübler-Ross imodeli yamanqanaba amahlanu, imodeli yeziGaba ezine nguB Bowlby kunye neeParkes yayiphefumlelwe kakhulu kwaye ivela kwimisebenzi yobuvulindlela yeB Bowlby kwithiyori yokuncamathisela nabantwana.

seth rollins kunye ne-becky lynch yomtshato

Umdla kaGqirha Bowlby wawukwinkxalabo kulutsha kwaye zeziphi iimeko zosapho ezibumba ukukhula okunempilo nokungafanelekanga ebantwaneni.

Emva kwexesha uthathe umsebenzi wakhe kwincamathiselo yokuncamathisela kwaye wawusebenzisa kwintlungu kunye nentlungu, ebonisa ukuba usizi lwalusisiphumo sendalo sokuba nolwalamano olunothando lwaphukile.

I-Bowlby iya kuba negalelo uninzi lwethiyori kunye nezigaba ezithathu, ngelixa iiParkes ekugqibeleni ziya kulungelelanisa ezinye.

Isigaba sokuqala-Umothuko kunye nokubhabha.

Kweli nqanaba, abo basentlungwini banoluvo lokuba ilahleko ayisiyonyani, kwaye ilahleko ayinakwenzeka ukuba yamkelwe. Umntu unokufumana iimpawu ezibonakalayo anokuthi azenze okanye angadibani nazo.

Umntu osentlungwini ongasebenziyo kwesi sigaba uya kuba neempawu zoxinzelelo ezifana nokubathintela ekuqhubekeni ngokwamanqanaba.

Isigaba sesiBini-Ukulangazelela nokuphanda.

Eli linqanaba apho abantu abasentlungwini besazi ngokusweleka komntu abamthandayo kwaye baya kujonga iindlela zokuzalisa loo nto. Basenokuba baqala ukuqonda ukuba ikamva labo liza kubonakala lihluke kakhulu.

Umntu kufuneka aqhubele phambili kwesi sigaba ukuvumela igumbi lokufumana ikamva elitsha nelokwahlukileyo lokukhula ngaphandle kwentlungu yelahleko elawula ubukho babo ngokupheleleyo.

Isigaba seThathu-Ukuphelelwa lithemba kunye nokungalungelelaniswa.

Kwinqanaba lesithathu, abantu abasentlungwini bayamkele into yokuba ubomi babo butshintshile, kwaye nekamva ababecinga ukuba kalisayi kubakho.

Umntu unokufumana umsindo, ukungabi nathemba, ukuphelelwa lithemba, unxunguphalo, kunye nemibuzo njengoko behlela ezi zinto.

Ubomi bungaziva ngathi abusoze buphucuke, bulunge, okanye buxabiseke ngaphandle kothandekayo wabo oswelekileyo. Ezi mvakalelo zinokuqhubeka ukuba azifumani ndlela yokuhamba kwesi sigaba.

Isigaba sesine -Ukuhlengahlengiswa kunye nokubuyiselwa kwimeko yesiqhelo.

Ukholo ebomini kunye nolonwabo luqala ukubuyela kwisigaba sesine. Intlungu inokuseka iipateni ezintsha ebomini, ubudlelwane obutsha, unxibelelwano olutsha, kwaye uqalise ukwakha kwakhona.

Banokuqonda ukuba ubomi bunokuhlala buhleli kwaye bulungile, nkqu nelahleko abaya nayo.

Ubunzima bomthwalo buye bukhanye ngakumbi kwaye nangona iintlungu zingaze ziphele ngokupheleleyo, iyayeka ukulawula iingcinga neemvakalelo zomntu.

Uninzi lwethiorists zentlungu, kubandakanya uGqirha Kübler-Ross, baphenjelelwa kakhulu yinqaku likaBowlby lika1961, Iinkqubo zokuzila , eyavela kwiJenali yaMazwe ngaMazwe yoNyango lwezeMpilo yeengqondo.

Ukuqonda uGqirha Rando's Iinkqubo ezi-R zoBuyiselo, kufuneka umntu aziqhelanise nolwahlulo oluthile kwisigama, izigaba zakhe ezintathu zokuzila, kunye neenkqubo ezintandathu zokusebenzisa ezo zigaba.

UGqr. Rando wahlula phakathi kwentlungu nosizi. Intlungu kukuphendula ngokungafunekiyo xa usiva ilahleko. Ukulila yinkqubo eqhelekileyo, esebenzayo yokusebenza kwintlungu yomntu ukuya kwindawo yokwamkelwa kunye nokuhlala.

Wayikholelwa loo nto ukunqanda, ukungqubana, kunye nendawo yokuhlala zizigaba ezintathu zokuzila ekufuneka umntu asebenze ngazo.

Iinkqubo ezithandathu zikaRando zokuLila ziwela phakathi kwezi zigaba zithathu kwaye zivumela lowo ukhathazekileyo ukuba afikelele apho aya khona ngohambo lwabo lokuphilisa, oko kukuthi, inqanaba apho usizi lomntu lungasoyisi kwaye banokuqhuba ubomi babo ngendlela enenzuzo, enentsingiselo.

Inkqubo 1-Ukuqonda ilahleko (ukuthintela)

Umntu osentlungwini kufuneka aqale aqonde kwaye aqonde ukusweleka komntu abamthandayo.

Inkqubo 2-Ukuphendula ngokwahlukana (ukujongana)

Umntu osentlungwini kufuneka abe neemvakalelo ezinxulumene nelahleko, kubandakanya ukuchonga, ukuziva, ukwamkela, kunye evakalisa ezo mvakalelo Ngendlela enengqiqo kwabo basentlungwini. Le nkqubo ikwabandakanya ukuphendula kuyo nayiphi na ilahleko yesibini enxulumene nelahleko ephambili.

Inkqubo 3 -Khumbula kwakhona kunye namava kwakhona (Ukujongana)

Le nkqubo ivumela abantu abasentlungwini ukuba baphonononge kwaye bangakhumbuli umfi kuphela, kodwa basebenze nangazo naziphi na iimvakalelo ebezinokuhlala phakathi kwabo ngaphambi kokubhubha.

Inkqubo 4-Ukuyeka izincamathiselo ezindala (Ukujongana)

Ababuhlungu baya kufuna ukuyeka iziqhotyoshelweyo zabo kubomi ababebucebile nomfi basekhona. Oku akuthethi ukuba bayamlibala okanye bamshiye ngasemva lowo ungasekhoyo, kukuba nje bayeke le yangoku kunye nekamva ebebecinga ngalo nomntu.

Inkqubo yesi-5-Ukulungiswa kwakhona (Indawo yokuhlala)

Inkqubo yokulungiswa kwakhona ivumela abo basentlungwini ukuba baqale ukuqhubela phambili kubomi babo obutsha, kubandakanya endala ngokudala ubudlelwane obahlukeneyo nomfi, ebavumela ukuba bathathe iimbono ezintsha zehlabathi kwaye bafumane isazisi sabo esitsha.

Inkqubo 6-Ukutyala kwakhona (Indawo yokuhlala)

Inkqubo yokutshala kwakhona kukukhathazeka ukuphuma nokuphuma kubomi babo obutsha, ukutyala imali kubudlelwane kunye neenjongo ezintsha.

Ugqirha Rando wayekholelwa ekubeni ukugqibezela ezi nkqubo zintandathu kwisithuba seenyanga okanye iminyaka kuyakuvumela abo basentlungwini ukuba baqhubele phambili ebomini babo.

Wayekholelwa ngokukodwa ukuba kubalulekile ukuba umntu osentlungwini aqonde ukuba yintoni ebangele ilahleko ukuze bayamkele. Oko kunokuba nzima kakhulu ngokufa okungenakho ukwenza ingqiqo, njengokudlula ngaphezulu okanye ukuzibulala .

umi ntoni umkhosi?

Inkqubo yesibini yoHlobo lweNtlungu ingaphantsi malunga nokufumana indlela yokuhamba kwintlungu, kunye nokunye malunga nokuqonda indlela umntu afumana ngayo kunye neenkqubo zentlungu malunga nokufa kothandekayo.

Imodeli ithi umntu osentlungwini uya kujikeleza phakathi kweempendulo ezilahlekileyo kunye neempendulo ezijolise ekubuyiseleni njengoko besebenza kwinkqubo yokuphilisa.

Iimpendulo ezijolise kwilahleko yilento abantu bacinga ngayo xa becinga ngentlungu. Banokubandakanya ukudabuka, ukulila, ukungabi nto, ukucinga ngomntu omthandayo, kunye nomnqweno wokurhoxa kwihlabathi.

Iimpendulo ezijolise ekubuyiseleni kubandakanya ukuqala ukuvala izithuba ezashiywa ngothandekayo ongasekhoyo. Oko kunokubandakanya izinto ezinje ngokufunda ukulawula iimali, ukuthatha imisebenzi ebalulekileyo kunye nendima ayithandayo umntu lowo kulwalamano, ukwenza ubudlelwane obutsha kunye namava ezinto ezintsha.

Umba obalulekileyo wale modeli kukuba ubeka ulindelo ekuvumeleni lowo ukhalazayo ukuba ahambe ngendlela.

Ewe kuya kubakho iimpendulo ezinzulu, ezijolise kwilahleko apho banokufumana kunzima ukusebenza kubomi babo bemihla ngemihla.

Nangona kunjalo, banokuthatha induduzo ngokwazi ukuba yinxalenye yenkqubo, ukuba ngumjikelo, kwaye baya kuthi ekugqibeleni bajikeleze umva babuyele kwiimpendulo ezijolise ekubuyiselweni.

Umntu osentlungwini uya kulandela umjikelo emva naphambili njengoko besentlungwini de bafike kwindawo yokuphiliswa.

Imodeli yokulahleka / yokuziqhelanisa noMardi Horowitz, MD yenzelwe ukuchaza ngcono iimvakalelo, iipateni, kunye nenkqubo yamanqanaba ahlukeneyo osizi.

Nangona inamava ngokwahlukileyo ebantwini, le modeli inokunceda njengesikhokelo ngokubanzi sokuba umntu osentlungwini angafumana ntoni.

Isikhalo

Ukuphulukana nomntu omthandayo kunokubangela isikhalo kwixhoba. Isikhalazo sinokuba ngaphandle okanye ngaphakathi.

Isikhalo sangaphandle sisoloko siyindlela engalawulekiyo njengokukhala okubuhlungu, ukuwa, okanye ukulila.

Abantu banokuba baziva iimvakalelo ezingqinelanayo nezikhalazo zangaphandle, kodwa zibathintele ukuba bangadinwa zizo. Oku kuqhuma kweemvakalelo zokuqala okwethutyana kwaye ngokwesiqhelo akuhlali xesha lide.

Ukuphika kunye nokungenelela

Emva kwesikhalo, umntu uya kuthi gingci phakathi kokungavumi kunye nokungena.

Kwimeko yale modeli, ukukhanyela kubandakanya imisebenzi evumela umntu ukuba angajongani nelahleko athe wayifumana. Oko kunokuba zizinto ezinje ngokuziphosa emsebenzini wabo okanye ukuthatha uxanduva oluninzi kangangokuba abanalo ixesha lokucinga ngelahleko yabo.

Inxalenye yokungenelela kuxa umntu eziva iimvakalelo ezinxulumene nelahleko ngamandla kangangokuba azinakuyityeshela. Umntu osentlungwini usenokuba ndiziva ndinetyala xa bengeva buhlungu belahleko, kodwa kulungile kwaye yinxalenye yenkqubo iyonke.

Umjikelo phakathi kokukhanyela kunye nokungenelela kunika ingqondo yomntu amandla okuphumla kunye nokuseta kwakhona njengoko ihamba ngeentlungu.

Ukusebenza

Ixesha elingaphezulu lokudlula, ixesha elide lokuhamba ngebhayisikile phakathi kokungavumi kunye nokungena.

Umntu uchitha ixesha elincinci ukucinga malunga nelahleko, iimvakalelo ezinxulumene nelahleko ziqala ukuya kwinqanaba kwaye zinciphise, kwaye ziye zingaphantsi.

Umntu uya kuba ecinga kwaye aqhubekeke neemvakalelo zakhe ezisingqongileyo zelahleko yakhe, kwaye aqale ukusebenzela ukufumana iindlela ezintsha zokuqhubela phambili kunye nokuziphatha ubomi ngaphandle komntu amthandayo.

Banokuqala ukubuyela ebomini kwakhona, njengokufuna ubuhlobo obutsha kunye nobudlelwane, ukuthatha izinto zokuzonwabisa ezintsha, okanye ukukhangela imisebenzi eyonwabisayo ngakumbi yokuzibandakanya kuyo.

Ukugqitywa

Kungathatha iinyanga okanye iminyaka, kodwa ekugqibeleni umntu uya kufikelela kwixesha lokugqitywa, kuba ngoku banokusebenza nelahleko yabo.

Oko akuthethi ukuba bangaphezulu kwelahleko okanye bayishiya ngasemva ngokupheleleyo, oko kuthetha ukuba umntu ngoku angasebenza kwaye azibandakanye nobomi babo ngaphandle kwelahleko elawula imeko-bume yeemvakalelo zabo.

Umntu usenokuba nosizi olunxulumene nezinto ezibalulekileyo zobudlelwane, njengezikhumbuzo, imihla yokuzalwa, indawo yeholide, okanye indawo yokutyela oyithandayo. Intlungu abayifumanayo kwisigaba sokugqitywa kwesiqhelo iya kuba incinci kwaye yexeshana.

Unokuthanda (inqaku liyaqhubeka ngezantsi):

• Indlela yokujongana noloyiko lokufa kwaye wenze uxolo ngokufa
• Ukufumana Ngeentsuku Zokukhumbula Umntu Olahlekileyo
• Imigaqo eyi-9 ekufuneka uyilandele xa umntu omthandayo esentlungwini
• Endaweni yokuba 'Uxolo ngokulahleka kwakho,' Yitsho amazwi ovelwano ngala magama

Kulula ukungena kwisithuba soxinzelelo kunye nokuzithemba xa uxinezelekile.

Umntu kufuneka alwele ukugcina imikhwa elungileyo kunye esempilweni kangangoko anakho, nokuba ingqondo yabo inokuhamba kwindawo enzima. Ngokwenza njalo, umntu unokunciphisa imiceli mngeni yangaphandle ngelixa elilela ilahleko yabo.

1. Yiba nobubele nomonde ngesiqu sakho.

Isiseko sokubuyisela kwimeko yesiqhelo kunye nokujongana nomonde. Inkqubo yokulila ayizukukhawuleza.

Kuxhomekeke kubuzaza bentlungu, kungathabatha iminyaka ukuba iintlungu zibuyele kwinqanaba apho zingalawuli ubomi okanye iingcinga zikabani. Ukuba buhlungu yinkqubo ethatha ixesha.

2. Gcina iindlela zokuzikhathalela ezisempilweni.

Kulumkele ukuwela ekuziphatheni okubi ngokweemvakalelo. Kulula ukubhenela ekutyeni ngokweemvakalelo, ukulala kakhulu, okanye ukutyibilika ungene kwinto kunye nokulutha njengesixhobo sokuhlangabezana nayo.

Yazi le migibe kwaye uzame ukugcina indlela yokuphila esempilweni ngokutya ukutya okusempilweni, ukusela amanzi amaninzi, kunye nokulandela ishedyuli yokulala.

Ukuhlolwa rhoqo nogqirha wakho kukwayinto entle, kuba uxinzelelo lunokuwenza buthathaka amajoni omzimba anokukushiya usesichengeni sokugula.

3. Yamkela okanye uqhubeke ngokwenza umthambo.

Ukuzilolonga rhoqo kunika izibonelelo ezininzi zokungagcini nje ngokugcina umntu esempilweni ngokwasemzimbeni, kodwa kananjalo inegalelo ekupheliseni usizi okanye uxinzelelo .

Nokuba kukuhamba nje okumbalwa ngeveki kunokuphucula kakhulu impilo yomzimba kunye nengqondo. Qiniseka ukuba ubonisana nogqirha wakho ngaphambi kokuba uqalise okanye wenze utshintsho olukhulu kwindlela yokwenza umthambo.

4. Nxibelelana nabanye abantu.

Uluntu sisixhobo esinamandla esivumela abantu abavela kwiindawo ezahlukeneyo zobomi abahlangabezana namava afanayo ukunxibelelana.

Ungafunda ngeendlela zokujonga imeko kunye nemibono evela kwabanye abantu abahambe iindlela ezifanayo ngelixa benika kwaye befumana inkxaso kubantu abayiqondayo.

Amaqela enkxaso asekuhlaleni okanye unyango lunokuba zizixhobo ezibalulekileyo kwinkqubo yokuphilisa.

Intsomi-Intlungu yomntu inokungena ngokulula kwimodeli enokuxelwa kwangaphambili.

Inyani yile yokuba usizi ngamava abukhali awodwa aya kwahluka kumntu kumntu. Abanye abantu baya kuba nosizi olunzulu, abanye abayi kuba nalo.

Iimodeli ezichazwe kwesi sikhokelo zisebenza kuphela njengezikhokelo ngokubanzi zezinto onokuzilindela. Iingcali zempilo yengqondo ezisebenzisa ezi ntlobo zeemodeli zifundisiwe kwaye ziqeqeshelwe ukuqonda ukuba akukho nto ilula, ubungakanani obulinganayo busilinganisa sonke isisombululo sokuhamba kwimeko yomntu.

Intsomi-Ukubuyiswa okusebenzayo kwintlungu kuthetha ukushiya ilahleko okanye ukulahleka kothandekayo ngasemva.

Injongo yokulila kunye nokuzila ayikokushiya ilahleko okanye umntu omthandayo ngasemva, kodwa kukuza kwindawo yeemvakalelo apho ubunzima bentlungu bungakhubazeki okanye kulawula iingcinga zakhe.

Kuya kuhlala kukho iintlungu malunga nelahleko enkulu. Umahluko kukuba ixhoba liyakwazi ukuhamba entlungu, liqhubeke nokuphila ubomi balo, kwaye liqhubele phambili kumava amatsha kunye nobudlelwane.

Intsomi-Ukubuyiswa kobuhlungu kufanele ukuba kwenzeke ngaphakathi kwexesha elithile.

Akukho xesha libekiweyo ekubuyiseni usizi. Kungathabatha iiveki zomntu omnye, kungathatha omnye umntu iminyaka.

Ixesha lokufumana kwakhona usizi luxhomekeke kwizinto ezininzi ezahlukeneyo ezingenakulinganiswa nangayiphi na indlela efanelekileyo. Umntu makasoloko ekuthintela ukubeka ithayimthebhile kwintlungu yomntu, kubandakanya neyabo.

Intsomi - Intlungu ayifanelekanga ukuziva. Umntu kufuneka ayifunxe kwaye ajongane nayo.

Le yintsomi eyoyikisayo enokubangela imicimbi enzima njengokusetyenziswa gwenxa kweziyobisi, umlutha kunye noxinzelelo lweklinikhi.

Uluvo lokuba nabani na kufuneka amunce nje usizi lwabo kwaye ajongane nalo luhlobo lwentlalo oluchaphazela kakubi impilo-ntle yomntu, ukukwazi ukumelana, nokuphilisa kwilahleko yakhe.

Ukuzama ukubaleka nokuzifihla kwintlungu kuhlala kuphela kakubi. Ihlala ibamba, kungekudala okanye kamva, ngamanye amaxesha iminyaka ezantsi kwendlela. Wonke umntu kufuneka azi ukuba kulungile ukuziva usizi, ukuba kuyimpendulo yendalo ngokweemvakalelo kwilahleko.

Intsomi-Kukho inkqubo elusizi okanye inkqubo eya kusebenza kakuhle ekuncedeni umntu azilile.

Inkqubo yokuchacha yahlukile kuye wonke umntu. Akukho sisombululo silingana nesayizi enye. Abacebisi abasentlungwini kunye nonyango ngokubanzi basebenza njengezikhokelo zokunceda ixhoba ukuba lihambise iimvakalelo zalo, libeke ulindelo, kwaye liququzelele ukuqhubela phambili. Oko kunokujongeka kwahlukile kumntu kumntu.

andazi ukuba mawenze ntoni ngobomi

Ulwamvila olubukhali lwelahleko luya kuvelelwa ngumntu ngamnye ngexesha elithile. Abantu baya kubethwa lusizi ngenxa yenkathazo ngokubanzi kunye nokuqhubela phambili kobomi.

Intlungu inokubangelwa kukuphulukana nomsebenzi, ukusweleka kwesithandwa okanye isilwanyana esithandwayo, utshintsho olukhulu kubuntu bokuqhuba ubomi babo, njengesifo esinganyangekiyo okanye ingozi, okanye ukuphela kobudlelwane.

Konke esinokukwenza kukujongana nosizi lwethu ngamandla amakhulu kunye nokusombulula njengoko sinokufumana. Ngamanye amaxesha, ayizukuziva ngathi kuninzi. Kukho amaxesha apho ubunzima bunzima kangangokuba siye sizive ngathi asikwazi ukuya phambili.

Kulungile.

Akunyanzelekanga ukuba uqhubeke uye phambili, kodwa sukubaleka kuyo nokuba yeyiphi. Ngamanye amaxesha umntu ufuna nje ukuphumla.

Umonde lelona candelo libalulekileyo lokulilela okanye ukubakhona kunye nemfesane kumntu omthandayo osentlungwini. Kuya kufuneka sinyamezele kungekuphela kuthi, kodwa nexhoba ukuze lifumane indlela ngexesha elinzima kakhulu. Sonke sinokusebenzisa umonde omncinci ebomini bethu.

Kufika inqaku apho kusengqiqweni ukufuna uncedo lweengcali. Ukuba iintlungu zelahleko zinzima kwaye ziyadodobalisa, umcebisi wentlungu okanye umcebisi oqinisekisiweyo wezempilo yengqondo unokunceda ixhoba ukuba lihambe kwindlela yalo yokubuyela kwimeko yesiqhelo.

Musa ukuthandabuza ukufuna uncedo, okanye ukukhuthaza umntu omthandayo ukuba afune uncedo lobuchwephesha, ukuba umntu othile unengxaki yokujamelana nelahleko.