Kukho intetho ecaleni kwemigca ethi zimbini kuphela izinto ebomini eziqinisekileyo: ukufa kunye neerhafu.
Ngokuqinisekileyo, uninzi lwabantu luyakwazi ukuphepha le yokugqibela, kodwa eyokuqala yinto ekufuneka ijongane nayo yonke into ephilayo ekugqibeleni.
Ukufa kuyinxalenye engenakuphepheka yobomi yinxalenye yomjikelo wobomi ubuqu… kwaye sisifundo esoyikisa ngokupheleleyo icandelo elikhulu labemi.
Inkcubeko yaseNtshona ingakumbi iyaphika ukufa, kunye nenkolo yayo yolutsha kwaye ibonakala ngathi iyayithiya nantoni na endala okanye egulayo.
Oku kulusizi, kuba abantu abaqubisana ngesiquphe nokuphela kobomi bahlala kwimeko yoloyiko kunye nokothuka, kuba khange babonakalise ubumnene kwinkqubo ebudeni bobomi babo.
Ke, umntu angalwenza njani uxolo kunye nokufa, kwaye aphelise uloyiko olunxulumene nalo?
Izizathu ezi-7 eziphambili
ICainlin Doughty, ugqirha oswelekileyo kunye nomsunguli we Umyalelo woKufa okuhle uqokelele izizathu ezisi-7 zokuba kutheni abantu bethanda ukoyika ukufa:
- Uloyiko lokuba ukufa kuya kubangela intlungu kubantu obathandayo.
- Uloyiko lokuba amabhongo abalulekileyo kunye neeprojekthi ziya kufikelela esiphelweni.
- Uloyiko lokuba inkqubo yokufa iya kuba buhlungu.
- Uloyiko lokuba abasayi kuphinda babe namava.
- Uloyiko lokuba abasayi kuphinda bakwazi ukunyamekela abaxhomekekileyo.
- Uloyiko malunga nokuza kwenzeka ukuba kukho ubomi emva kokufa.
- Uloyiko malunga nokuba kungenzeka ntoni emzimbeni wabo emva kokuba beswelekile.
Ukuba ukhomba ngokuthe ngqo ukuba yintoni le ikoyikisayo, uyakwazi ukusebenza ngoloyiko kwaye ufumane isisombululo, akunjalo? Ke, masingene sizijongise nganye nganye.
1. Ukoyika Ukufa Kubangela Intlungu Kwabathandekayo
Intlungu ayinakuphepheka, njengoko sinamava amahle kakhulu ebomini bethu. Nabani na oziva uthando ekugqibeleni uya kuziva ubuhlungu, kodwa abantu bangaphezulu kakhulu ukomelela kunokuba sihlala sibanika ityala.
Ewe ukuphulukana nawe kuya kubangela iintlungu, kodwa ekugqibeleni abahlobo bakho kunye namalungu osapho baya kuba nakho ukugxila kuwo onke amava amnandi ababenawo nawe, kwaye ubumnandi buya kunciphisa usizi.
Ukuba ukhathazekile ngezinto ezishiyiweyo zingachazwanga, okanye uziva ngathi ufuna ukubaqinisekisa malunga nendlela abathandwa ngayo, babhalele iileta ukuba banokuvula xa sele uhambe.
Thetha yonke into oyifunayo, kwaye uyazi ukuba amagama akho (ekukhethwa ukuba abhalwe ngesandla sakho) aya kugcinwa kwaye afundwe ngokuphindaphindiweyo ukuzisa intuthuzelo.
2. Uloyiko lweeProjekthi eziBalulekileyo ezingafezekiswa
Kule meko, ukuba nesicwangciso esomeleleyo sexesha likaxakeka kunye nokucwangcisa izinto eziyimfuneko kunokunciphisa uloyiko lwakho.
Umzekelo, ukuba ubulima igadi entle yoluntu, qinisekisa ukuba unezicwangciso ezimiselweyo zendlela ofuna ukuba iqhubeke ngayo.
Nika ezi zicwangciso kumgcini-mntu omaziyo onokumthemba ukuba uza kwenzeka, ukuze wazi ukuba yonke into iya kuba sezandleni ezilungileyo wakuba uhambe.
Ngaba uqhuba umbutho ongenzi nzuzo? Nika umntu ukuba aqhubeke nomsebenzi wakho ngendlela oyikhethileyo.
Ngaba unika isisa esithile? Qinisekisa ukuba bangabanye babaxhamli kumyolelo wakho.
Okokugqibela, kuyehla kuye entlanganweni, ke xa unexesha lasimahla, hlala phantsi ubeke izicwangciso ezizizo ekusebenzeni.
3. Uloyiko lokuba Inkqubo yokufa iya kuba buhlungu
Esinye isihloko esiza ngokuqinisekileyo xa usebenza noloyiko lokufa kukukhathazeka ukuba kuya kwenzakala.
Kubonakala ngathi uninzi lwabantu aloyiki ukufa kunaleyo indlela abanokufa ngayo .
Kubantu abaninzi, amava abanawo ngokufa ukuza kuthi ga ngoku ajikeleze izalamane eziye zafa esibhedlele, zihlala zikhona izifo ezifana nomhlaza.
Banqabile ukuba babone ukufa uqobo: okulele ezandleni zabasebenzi base-hospice kunye nabongikazi, ke inkqubo yokuphela iyacingelwa kunokuba yinyani, nazo zonke iintlobo zemifanekiso eyoyikisayo evela kwifilimu nakumabonwakude iphoswe kwimilinganiselo emibalabala yokuhambisa iingcinga kwindawo egqithisileyo.
Yi inyanzelekile ukuba nomyolelo wokuphila apho ucacisa khona izikhokelo ezihambele phambili ukuba awufuni ungenelelo ngoncedo lwezonyango olugqithisileyo ukugcina ubomi bakho.
Abantu abangenayo le miyalelo endaweni baphantsi kwamagatya 'abagcine bephila nangayiphi na indlela efunekayo' kwizibhedlele ezininzi, ke qiniseka ukuba ubhala into eyamkelekileyo nengamkelekanga kuwe.
Xa kuziwa kwiintlungu ezinokuthi zifumaneke, kukho izisombululo ezigqwesileyo zokulawulwa kweentlungu ezikhoyo, kubandakanywa ukhetho lokufakwa kwi-coma ye-palliative ukuba intlungu ayinakubekezeleka.
Yintoni ixabiso lesa vanderpump
Musa ukuvuselela iiodolo ezinokuthi zibekwe endaweni, kwaye kwiindawo apho ukufa okuncediweyo kunokukhetha, kukwakhona ukubuphelisa ubomi ngokwamazwi akho xa ukulungele ukwenza njalo.
4. Ukoyika ukungasakwazi ukuba namava
Ingabonakala ilula ukuyithetha, kodwa isisombululo koku kukuba namava NGOKU.
Ngaba ukhe wazifunda ezi zintlu zintlanu (okanye 10) zidweliswe ngokudibeneyo ngabahlengikazi, malunga nezinto abantu abazisolayo kuzo abazisolayo ngazo?
Enye yezona zinto bazisola ngazo yayikukungaphili ubomi obuyinyani: ukungaphili ubomi ababufuna ngokwenene, besenza izinto abafuna ukuzenza.
Hlela loo nto. Ngoku.
Uyayazi intetho ethi, 'phila usuku ngalunye ngokungathi kukugqibela kwakho'? Ingcebiso elungileyo, njengoko isikhuthaza ukuba sizonwabele ngobuhle esinabo phambi kwethu NGOKU endaweni yokubeka ulonwabo kude kube lusuku olude kakhulu xa siziva sinako okanye kufanelekile ukwenza njalo.
Ukuba uloyiko lokungafumani nto ibalulekileyo kuwe yile ibikukhathaza, ngenene thatha ixesha ucinga ngento oziva ukuba usafuna ukuyiphumeza, kwaye kutheni kubalulekile ukuba wenze njalo.
Yenza uluhlu (umbono 'woluhlu lwamabhakethi' uvakala ngathi uyitshizi, kodwa nzulu, bhala phantsi), kwaye wenze oku kulandelayo:
- Izinto osafuna ukufikelela kuzo.
- Izizathu zokuba kutheni ufuna ukwenza ezi zinto.
- Kuya kuthatha ixesha elingakanani ukuba uzenze.
- Izixhobo ziyafuneka ukuze zenzeke.
Beka ezi ndawo ngokokubaluleka kwazo ukuya kwezona zibalulekileyo, kwaye nceda, unyaniseke kwisiqu sakho.
Xa ujonga ezona ziphezulu kuluhlu-ezo ufuna ukuzifumana okanye uziphumeze-zibuze ukuba yintoni na ethintela wena ekwenzeni ezo zinto.
Ukusuka apho, unokumisela isicwangciso somsebenzi ukukunceda ubenze babe yinyani. Oko kuyakuhamba indlela ende ekunciphiseni (okanye kude kususe) ukuzisola, kwaye loo nto inkulu kakhulu xa kufikwa ekwamkeleni ukuba obu bomi buza kuphela ekugqibeleni.
Unokuthanda (inqaku liyaqhubeka ngezantsi):
- Ukuqonda amanqanaba osizi kunye nendlela yokubuhlungu ngokulahlekelwa kwakho
- Ukufumana Ngeentsuku Zokukhumbula Umntu Olahlekileyo
- Ungayifumana njani intsingiselo yokuzibulala komntu omthandayo
- Imigaqo eyi-9 ekufuneka uyilandele xa umntu omthandayo esentlungwini
- Endaweni yokuba 'Uxolo ngokulahleka kwakho,' Yitsho amazwi ovelwano ngala mabinzana
5. Ukoyika ukungasakwazi ukukhathalela abaxhomekekileyo
Le yinto enkulu, kwaye iyavakala ukuba kutheni abantu bexhalabile ngayo, ngakumbi ukuba abantwana abancinci okanye abazali abagulayo bayabandakanyeka.
Ukuba olu lolunye uloyiko lwakho olukhulu, hlala phantsi negqwetha nibonisane ngokuba loluphi ukhetho lwakho.
Ungahlela iimeko zokubagcina, uthembe imali, kunye nazo zonke iindlela zokuqinisekisa ukuba abo ubakhathaleleyo baya kuba sezandleni ezilungileyo ukuba kwaye xa ezakho zingasafumaneki kubo.
6.Uloyiko Lobomi Emva Kokufa (Okanye ukungabikho)
Xa kuziwa kuloyiko lobomi basemva kokufa - okanye ukungabikho kobunye - kuyehla ngokwenene koko ukukholelwayo ngokwenene, ngokomoya.
Ukuba oku kuyakoyikisa, zama ukukhomba ngokuthe ngqo ukuba woyike ntoni: woyika uhlobo oluthile 'lwesihogo' olulindele wena, kuba ucinga ukuba ufanelwe luhlobo oluthile lwesohlwayo ngenxa yokophula umthetho?
Okanye woyika ukuba emva kokufa akusayi kubakho nto?
Ukuba unenkxalabo malunga nobomi basemva kokufa, khangela inkokheli yokomoya kwinkolo okanye kwifilosofi ehambelana kakhulu nawe, kwaye uthethe nabo malunga nokwesaba kwakho.
kwakutheni ze pat no jen bahlukane
Phantse kuqinisekisiwe ukuba nantoni na eyoyikisayo onokucinga ukuba iyakukhathaza ngaphezulu kunenkolo yakho ethe ngqo emva kokufa.
Yonke inkcubeko kwiplanethi inoluvo lobomi basemva kokufa. Kweminye, yindawo entle efana neZulu okanye i-Summerlands, kwaye kwabanye, kukho ukuphindukuzalwa: ukuba siyayishiya le mizimba yexeshana njengezambatho, kwaye imiphefumlo iyaqhubeka nokuba yimizimba emitsha, okanye iphakame iye kwiindawo eziphakamileyo zobomi, njengokuhlangana kwakhona noMthombo wawo onke amandla.
Nokuba awukho ngokomoya ngokukodwa, kodwa endaweni yoko ubambelele kwi-agnostic okanye ungakholelwa kubukho / kwinzululwazi, kukho intuthuzelo enokuthathwa kwinyani yokuba akukho nto iphela ngokwenene. Awunakho ukutshabalalisa amandla: itshintsha nje ifom.
Utitshala ongumBuddha kunye nombhali uThich Nhat Hanh wabelana ngokufana nokufa kufana nomjikelo wamanzi wendalo:
Khawufane ucinge ilifu elimhlophe elinempuphu ezulwini. Emva kwexesha, xa kuqala ukuna, awuboni ilifu elinye. Ayikho phaya. Kodwa inyani yeyokuba ilifu lisemvuleni. Akunakwenzeka ukuba ilifu life. Inokuba yimvula, ikhephu, umkhenkce, okanye uninzi lweefom… kodwa ilifu alinakubakho akhonto . Awungekhe ukhale ukuba uyazi ukuba ngokujonga nzulu emvuleni uya kuhlala ulibona ilifu.
- Ukusuka Akukho kufa, akukho loyiko: Ubulumko obududuzayo boBomi
Oku kunxulumene ngokupheleleyo nokufa kwale fomu sikuyo ngoku: asipheli, sishenxela nje kwimeko entsha yobomi. Amanzi anokutshintsha abe ziintlobo ngeentlobo, kodwa wona awapheli Yiba.
7. Uloyiko malunga noko kwenzeka emzimbeni emva kokufa
Ukuba ubukele iziqendu ezininzi ze-CSI kunye neemarathons ezoyikisayo ze-movie, kunokwenzeka ukuba uyaphambana malunga nokuba kungenzeka ntoni emzimbeni wakho emva kokuba usweleke. (Molo zombie apocalypse! Uyadlala. Hayi, ngokwenene.)
Nangona umzimba wakho usisithuthi nje sethutyana okhwela kuso, unamathele kuso kwaye ubusoloko usikhathalele kangangeminyaka, ngenxa yoko ukukhathazeka ngokubola okungaphephekiyo kuyinto eqhelekileyo.
Ngumbono olungileyo ukwenza uphando lwakho ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo ezikhoyo zokuhlela umzimba wakho xa ungasahlali kuwo. Ukwenza idinga lokuthetha nomntu oswelekileyo ngumbono olungileyo, kodwa zininzi neencwadi ekufuneka uzenzile.
Ukutshiswa kwesidumbu kunye nokungcwatywa kwendalo zizinto nje ezimbalwa onokukhetha kuzo - usenokunyanzela uthuthu lwakho ukuba lube yidayimani encinci ukuba inxitywe ngumntu omthandayo, okanye umzimba wakho ungcwatywe ujikelezwe ngomthi omncinci oza kukhula ube ngumthi omkhulu, mhle, ondliwe Intsalela yasemhlabeni.
Jonga kuyo, kwaye xa usithathile isigqibo sokuba yeyiphi eyona nto uyithandayo, yibhale phantsi ukuze uqiniseke ukuba iyakwenzeka.
Inqaku elongeziweyo: Umba wokungaqiniseki
Inye into engakhathazi abantu abaninzi kukucinga ukuba ukufa kunokwenzeka nangowuphi na umzuzu. Sithanda ukuba izinto zicwangciswe, zinokuthenjwa: sihlala sikhawulela kwizimanga, kwaye ke ... ukuphela kobomi ngokuqinisekileyo kungamangalisa.
Endaweni yokufanisa ukufa njengamandla ahlaselayo ajikelezayo, alungele ukubetha nangawuphi na umzuzwana, kungcono ukuwuthathe njengeqabane elithambileyo elisikhuthaza ukuba sonwabele ngokupheleleyo umzuzu wangoku.
Ekugqibeleni, kuko konke esinako.
Nini kwaye ukuba uzifumana ukhululeka malunga nesiphelo sakho sokugqibela, buyisela ingqalelo yakho kumzuzu wangoku.
Ngobunene, ngaphandle kokuzigxeka: thatha nje ukuphefumla okunzulu kwaye ujonge kwinto eyenzekayo kanye kule yesibini.
Oku umphefumlo, le ukubetha kwentliziyo, le uvakalelo.
Ndiyazi ukuba ndichukumisile kumaxesha amaninzi kumanqaku endibhale apha, kodwa ukuhlala engqondweni nangokuhlala kumzuzu wangoku yenye yeendlela ezilungileyo zokulwa unxunguphalo kwaye uphelise rhoqo ukuba “kuthekani ukuba” ngakumbi xa kufikwa ekufeni.
Ikwasivumela ukuba sonwabele ngokupheleleyo kwaye siwaxabise onke amava esinawo, kwaye sifumane uxolo olukhulu kolu hambo lungaqhelekanga silubiza ngokuba bubomi.
