Ayisiyo imeko yokuba nabani na anenjongo yokuphelela kuyo, ukanti abantu abaninzi bazifumana betshatile kodwa bethandana nomnye umntu.
Iya kucaca gca kuwe ukuba uziva ngolu hlobo (ngakumbi ukuba ufunda le nto ngoku), kodwa usenokungabinalo nofifi yintoni ngokwenene yenza ngayo.
Le yimeko entsonkothileyo kwaye ubungakanani obunye abuhambelani konke, yiyo loo nto siza kugubungela uninzi lwezinto onokukhetha kuzo kunye neziphumo ukuze wenze konke okusemandleni akho ukuba uqonde indlela ekufuneka uye ngayo phambili.
Khumbula ukuba, ngelixa ingeyiyo le meko intle ukuba ubekho, inyani yokuba ufunda eli nqaku ibonisa ukuba ufuna ukwenza into ngayo kwaye ufumane isisombululo, yeyona ndlela ingcono kumntu wonke obandakanyekayo.
Ukuba akukho nto yenzekileyo… okwangoku.
Kulungile, ke uqaphele ukuba uneemvakalelo ngenye indoda okanye umfazi ongeloqabane lakho.
Akukho nto yenzekileyo, kodwa uyalingwa. Uthetha ukwenza ntoni?!
Okokuqala, vavanya ukuba ziyinyani na ezi mvakalelo. Ngokucacileyo kukho into ngasemva kwabo, kodwa kubalulekile ukuba usebenze ukuba yintoni na ngaphambi kokuba wenze nasiphi na isigqibo esikhulu.
Uninzi lwethu luphuhlisa iimvakalelo zabantu abangabalingani bethu, kwaye oku kunokuba luluhlu olukhulu lwezizathu.
Cinga nje ngokuqina komtshato wakho- ngaba awufumani ngqwalaselo uyifunayo? Ngaba iqabane lakho alunalo uthando (ngabom okanye ngenye indlela)? Ukuba kunjalo, unokuba ujonge ukuyifumana komnye umntu.
Isenokungabi ngomnye umntu othandana naye, kodwa iimvakalelo zokuzithemba, umtsalane, kunye noxabiso olonwabisayo.
Cinga malunga nokuba uyamthanda okanye awumthandi omnye umntu, okanye indlela abaziva ngayo.
Ukuba uyaqonda ukuba awumthandi ngokwenene omnye umntu, kuya kufuneka ufumane indlela yokufumana ulwaneliseko olufanayo kwaye ungxamile kwiqabane lakho - ngumba ohluke ngokupheleleyo, kodwa ngokuqinisekileyo ungasebenza kuwo!
Kuya kufuneka ucinge ngobunyani bezi mvakalelo. Kwakhona, isenokungabi ngoyena mntu umthanda ngaphandle komtshato wakho, kodwa umbono yabo.
Mhlawumbi uyayithanda imbono yokubaleka okanye ukonwaba, okanye uyayithanda ingxelo yothando yomnye umntu.
Awungekhe ubuthande ubunyani bazo, ezinokuba likamva elikruqulayo xa iadrenaline yokufihla kunye neemfihlo iphela.
Usenokuba ubabonile emsebenzini kwaye wabafumana benomtsalane kakhulu kuba banomtsalane kwaye banomtsalane - kodwa banokuba namaxabiso awahlukileyo kuwe kwaye baneempawu ongenakuzifumana zinomtsalane.
Khumbula ukuba unomdla kwinto oyaziyo kubo (ekunokwenzeka ukuba yahluke kakhulu kwiqabane lakho kwaye ke inomdla ngakumbi), hayi iziqu zabo.
Ukuba ucinga ukuba niyathandana enyanisweni, inokubonakala yahluke kakhulu kuwe xa uthandana neminqweno yakho.
Kulungile, ke usenokuba uqaphele ukuba uyayithanda le ndoda okanye umfazi ngenxa yabo kwaye ucinga ukuba izinto zinokusebenza ngokwenyani. Ukuba kunjalo, siyaxolisa - le yimeko eyoyikekayo ukuba ube kuyo kwaye unokwenza izinto uzive uxinzelelo kwaye kunzima. Siza kuqhuba ngokunika ezinye iingcebiso ngendlela yokulawula oku kungezantsi.
wazi njani ukuba umhle na
Ukuba sowuyenzile…
Kunokuba nzima kakhulu ukungazenzi iimvakalelo zethu, ngakumbi ukuba ziqiniswa kukukhawuleza kwemfihlo ye-adrenaline.
Ukukopa iqabane ayisiyonto abantu abaninzi bazimisele ukuyenza, kodwa kuyenzeka kwaye kuhlala kukho a Zininzi izizathu ezahlukeneyo ngasemva kwayo.
Ukuba izinto sele zenzekile phakathi kwakho nalo mntu uthandana naye, kuya kufuneka ucinge ngononophelo ngento oza kuyenza ngokulandelayo.
Siya kuhlala sicebisa ukuba wena xelela iqabane lakho ukuba ubuqhathe . Siyazi ukuba akukho lula, kodwa ukunyaniseka kwiqabane lakho yeyona ndlela yokuqhubela phambili.
Usenokuba uqaphele, uchithe ixesha kunye, ukuba awufuni enye into yenzeke nalo mntu kwaye ulithanda ngokwenyani iqabane lakho.
Ukuba kunjalo, unetyala kwiqabane lakho lokunyaniseka.
Ukuba awusukeli zinto nomnye umntu, kungenxa yokuba ufuna ukwenza izinto zisebenze nomyeni wakho okanye umfazi-kwaye izinto azizukusebenza nabo ukuba ugcina le mfihlo.
Banokuqonda ngakumbi kunokuba ucinga, njengoko benokwazi ukuba yeyiphi na imicimbi ekuqhubele kule ndawo kwasekuqaleni. Nokuba yeyiphi indlela, awungekhe utyale imali emtshatweni wakho ngaphandle kokunyaniseka.
Ukuba ufuna ukuqhubeka nokubona umntu ongatshatanga naye onemvakalelo ngaye, kuya kufuneka ucinge ngeyona ndlela yokwenza oku.
Kwakhona, singacebisa ukunyaniseka kwiqabane lakho. Ungaziva udidekile ukukhetha phakathi kweqabane lakho kunye nomnye umntu, kodwa kuya kufuneka wenze isigqibo ngaxa lithile.
Kufuneka wenze ntoni ukuba utshatile kodwa uthandana nomnye umntu?
Sele siyichukumisile le nto, kodwa siqinisekile ukuba ngumba oxineneyo engqondweni yakho.
Siza kungena kwiinkcukacha ezithe kratya malunga nokuphonononga indlela oziva ngayo kwaye kutheni kamva, kodwa eli candelo ligubungela ezinye zezinto onokuzenza ngoku.
1. Thetha nabantu obathandayo.
Thetha nabantu obathandayo kwaye ubathembileyo, kwaye ngubani ongayi kuvumela nantoni na ishiyeke kwiqabane lakho.
Ukuba uye wathandana nenye indoda okanye umfazi ongelilo iqabane lakho, kusenokwenzeka ukuba uzive udidekile (kwaye unokuba netyala) malunga nezo mvakalelo, kwaye kufuneka ukhulule.
Ngelixa sisihloko esinzima ukuxoxa ngaso, unetyala kwimpilo-ntle yakho kunye nokuzigcina usempilweni nasengqondweni.
Unokukhetha ukuba ungena kwiinkcukacha ezingakanani, kodwa kunokuba kufanelekile ukufuna iingcebiso, okanye iindlebe nje, zomntu osondeleyo kuwe. Kuhlala kukho ukhetho lokufuna iingcebiso neengcali apha.
2. Nxibelelana neqabane lakho.
Ukuba uyazi ukuba kutheni ujonge kwenye indawo okanye uwela omnye umntu, kuya kufuneka ucinge ngokuxoxa ngesi sizathu neqabane lakho.
Siza kuhamba ngezizathu ezingezantsi, kodwa, ukuba uyazi ukuba kungenxa yokuba uziva uthathwe ngokungakhathali, umzekelo, ungathetha neqabane lakho malunga noku.
Yenze ngokuzolileyo, ngendlela engangqubaniyo, kwaye ubazise ukuba ikwenza uzive njani. Basenokungaqondi ukuba bayayenza kwaye ungothuka yindlela abakhawuleza ngayo ukutshintsha indlela abaziphethe ngayo- kwaye ikwenza ngokukhawuleza kangakanani na ukuba ufuna ukutshintsha okwakho.
3. Beka imida ethile kwaye ususe isilingo.
Ukuba utshatile kwaye uthandana nomnye umntu, unokufuna ukuzinika ixesha lokufumanisa ukuba wenzeni.
ndikhetha ukuba ndedwa
Ungayinceda le nkqubo ngokubeka imida kwenye indoda okanye umfazi.
Ukuba niyathandana, yekani ukubonana ngelixa nisenza into enifuna ukuyenza. Ukuba balifanele ixesha nentliziyo yakho, baya kukuqonda kwaye bakuhlonele oku.
Unokuyeka ukuthumela imiyalezo rhoqo, uyeke ukuya kwibar oyaziyo ukuba baya kuba kuyo, okanye, ukuba akukabikho nto yenzekileyo okwangoku, ziyeke ukunxibelelana nabo ngxi.
Isilingo esincinci, kokukhona unokugxila kwinto ofuna ukuyenza-umtsalane, inkanuko, kunye neemvakalelo zokudideka ecaleni.
Ungabathanda bobabini?
Usenokukufumanisa kunzima kakhulu ukuqhubekeka nendlela oziva ngayo, nto leyo iqheleke ngokupheleleyo. Ukuthandana nomnye umntu ngelixa utshatile yimeko edidayo kakhulu ukuba ube kuyo.
Siyazi ukuba abanye abantu bathi awungekhe umthande ngokwenene umntu ukuba ungamkhohlisa, kodwa kunzima kakhulu kunoko.
Ungabathanda abantu ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo, kwaye iimfuno zakho zingaguquka ngokuhamba kwexesha, oko kuthetha ukuba abanakuqhubeka nokudibana ngexesha lomtshato wakho nangasiphi na isizathu.
Kunokwenzeka ngokupheleleyo ukuthanda ngaphezulu komntu omnye ngexesha elinye, nokuba izinto zenzekile ngomntu wesibini okanye akunjalo.
Kutheni uwe komnye umntu?
Njengoko sichukumisile ngasentla, kufanelekile ukucinga malunga nokuba kutheni ukwazile ukuhlakulela iimvakalelo zomntu ongaphandle komtshato wakho.
1. Kufuneka uvale isithuba esishiywe liqabane lakho.
Inokuba kungenxa yokuba kukho into engekhoyo emtshatweni wakho. Mhlawumbi awusabelani ngesondo neqabane lakho, kwaye ulahlekile wabelana ngokwasemzimbeni, unxibelelwano olusenyongweni nomntu.
Mhlawumbi ukusilela kwesondo kuthetha ukuba utsala umdla ngakumbi kwabanye abantu abajongela phandle i-vibes zesondo, okanye uvuleleke ngakumbi chemistry yesondo .
2. Ufuna ukuthandwa.
Kusenokwenzeka ukuba uziva uthathelwa phezulu emtshatweni wakho kwaye awuzive uthandwa okanye uhlonitshwa.
Usenokuba ufumene umntu owamkela izinto ezincinci ozenzayo kwaye ekwenza uzive ngathi ukhathalelwe kwaye uxabisekile ngendlela engenakwenziwa ngumfazi okanye ngumyeni wakho.
3. Unqwenela ukuziva wonwabile ngawe kwakhona.
Usenokuba uthandane nomnye umntu kuba iqabane lakho alisabonakali linomtsalane.
Oku kunxibelelana nokungabikho kwesondo, kodwa isenokuba ngenxa yokuba iqabane lakho lingaze likuhoye kwakhona.
Mhlawumbi abasakuqapheli xa utshintshe iinwele zakho, okanye xa usenza umzamo ngeempahla zakho. Mhlawumbi bayalile inkqubela yakho okanye abasakuncomi.
Nokuba yeyiphi na indlela, ukuba iqabane lakho alikwenzi uzive umhle kwaye unomtsalane, inokuthi ichaze ukuba kutheni uvuleleke ngakumbi kwinkqubela phambili yomnye umntu owenza ukuba uzive ngaloo ndlela.
4. Umtshato wakho awusafani nakuqala.
Eminye imitshato inokungabi naluthando ekuhambeni kwexesha. Kubuhlungu, kodwa izinto kunye nabantu bayatshintsha njengoko iminyaka ihamba.
Kungathatha abantwana ukuba baphume okanye batshintshe indlela abaphila ngayo (enje ngemisebenzi emitsha, umhlala phantsi, okanye indlu eshukumayo) ukuze izibini ziqonde ukuba izinto zitshintshile kubudlelwane babo.
Ungasaziva ungasondeli emfazini okanye kumyeni wakho ngendlela obukade uqhele ngayo. Mhlawumbi anisayi kuchitha ixesha elisemgangathweni kunye okanye nabelane ngezihlandlo ezisondeleyo kunye.
Umtshato wakho unokuziva ngathi nobabini nihamba nje, uhamba kwi-auto-pilot ukusuka kusuku olunye ukuya kolandelayo.
Usenokubathanda ngandlela thile, kodwa akukho luthando nje phakathi umtshato kwakhona.
Esi siqhelo sisizathu sokuba abantu bafune uthando, ingqalelo, nothando kwenye indawo. Abasaziva bengabudlelwane, kwaye bafuna ukuziva ngaloo ndlela kwakhona - nokuba ukunye nomntu omtsha.
5. Iqabane lakho belingathembekanga ngaphambili.
Ukuba iqabane lakho likukhohlisile kwixa elidlulileyo, unokuba nakho ukujonga kwenye indawo ngokwakho.
Unokuziva ukuba umtshato sele ungcolisiwe okanye ‘wonakele,’ ngoko uziva ngathi akukho nto ilahlekileyo okanye umngcipheko xa uthandana nomnye umntu.
Unokwenza ukuba uphinde uziphindezele, kwinqanaba elithile, nokuba uyazi okanye ungazi. Unokufuna ukuba bafumane iintlungu ezinokubakho ngenxa yokuqhathwa.
Ngokulinganayo, inokuba yayiyinjongo yakho yokuqala, kodwa usenokuba uyifumene intuthuzelo nomnye umntu kwaye wavelisa iimvakalelo zokwenene ngabo, ngaphandle kokufuna ukuyenza ngaphandle kwento yokuqala.
Ngaba yinyani okanye uphawu lomtshato ongenampilo?
Njengakwimizekelo esele siyikhankanyile ngasentla, kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba ucinge malunga nokuqiqa emva kwakho ukuwela omnye umntu. Oku kunokukunceda ukuba uqonde ukuba zithini na ezi mvakalelo.
1. Uyathandana nefantasy.
Siyichukumisile ngentla apha, kodwa usenokuba uwe ngenxa ye umbono lomntu ngokuchasene nenyani yomntu.
Kulula kakhulu ukuthandana nento entsha nenomdla esenza sizive sinqweneleka kwaye sixatyisiwe, kodwa kufuneka sizibuze ukuba ingaba iyenzeka nyhani na.
Ukofi kingston uphumelele ubuntshatsheli be-wwe
Ungaluthanda uluvo lomntu ovela emsebenzini uthandana naye kuba bengafani nendoda / nenkosikazi yakho - bancinci, banomdla ngakumbi, kwaye, ewe, awukabinamava wodwa kubo.
Umbono wazo uyonwabisa kwaye uyaphupha, kodwa inyani isenokungabi kude kangako kwimeko yakho yangoku!
Cinga malunga nokuba unemvakalelo ngalo mntu ngokungqalileyo, okanye nawuphina umntu okunika indawo yokuphuma emtshatweni wakho kunye nento onokucinga ngayo malunga nokuphupha kwakho.
2. Unqwenela into ongakuniki yona iqabane lakho.
Kwakhona, sinokuhlala sincamathela kwiimvakalelo umntu asinika zona ngokuchaseneyo nenyani yokuba kunye nabo.
Ukuba ubukhe ungenaluthando okanye ukungonwabi emtshatweni , iyavakala iyonke into yokuba ungawa ngokukhawuleza emntwini okunika ingqwalaselo kunye nothando obukade uluswele.
Kuyaqondakala ukuba ubuya kujonga kwenye indawo ngale nto - sonke sifuna inqanaba elithile lothando ebomini bethu ukuze sisebenze!
Ukuba siqhelene nonxibelelwano ngokwasemzimbeni ngumntu esimthandayo, umzekelo, inokuziva ikhathaza intliziyo ngequbuliso inokuthi ithathe kuthi, ngakumbi ukuba ithathwa ngoyena mntu uqhele ukusinika yona!
Ungafumanisa ukuba ulikhoboka leemvakalelo onokukunikwa ngulo mntu mtsha.
Kukho iikhemikhali ezithile ezikhutshwe kuthando lomzimba kunye neemvakalelo ezikhuthaza ingqondo yethu kwaye zisenze sizive sikhulu kwaye 'siphezulu,' njenge-dopamine.
Ezi zinokukhutshwa ngokuwola, ukuhleka nomntu omthandayo, isini, ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo, njl.
Ukuba uziva 'uphezulu' emva kokubona umntu ongelilo iqabane lakho, zama ukufumanisa ukuba ngaba ziimvakalelo zokwenene zomntu lowo, okanye uvuyo olukhulu lokufumana uthando kunye nokunikwa ingqalelo nabani na.
3. Awuzalisekiswa ngokwesondo.
Siwuchukumisile umba malunga nokusondelelana ngokwasemzimbeni kunye nokwabelana ngesondo ngaphambili, kodwa kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba uqwalasele ukuba ingakanani indima edlalayo kwindlela oziva ngayo (okanye ucinga ukuba uziva njani) ngalo mntu ungomnye.
izinto zokwenza xa udikwe ekhaya
Kusenokwenzeka ukuba awuzange ulale nomfazi okanye umyeni wakho ixesha elide, kwaye loo nto inokuba iqhuba isigqibo sakho sokucinga ukukopela kubo.
Ezinye izibini zine ukuqhuba ngokwesondo okungafaniyo , ezinokubonakala ngakumbi, kwaye kunzima ukuzilawula, ekuhambeni kwexesha.
Ukuba awuzange ulale ngesondo ixesha elide kodwa ufumane isikhuthazo kwaye ufuna ngokwenene, unokuba unzima ukuhlala uthembekile.
Ukuba uyazi ukuba ukhona omnye umntu onokuthi ulale naye, okanye umntu othile aqhutshane nawe okanye enze isincomo, uya kuyazi kakhulu inyani yokuba unolo khetho, ukutsho.
Cinga malunga nokuba unemvakalelo yokwenene na ngalo mntu, okanye ukuba uyakonwabela ukulala nabo - okanye uthanda nje inyani yokuba bona ndifuna ukulala nawe.
Indlela esivakalelwa ngayo ngathi inokuhlala isuka kwindlela abanye abavakalelwa ngayo ngathi, evakalayo.
Ukuba iqabane lakho alifuni ukulala nawe, uziva ungonwabanga. Ukuba umntu omtsha uyeza kwaye ufuna ukulala nawe, uziva u-sexy. Kwaye kusenokwenzeka ukuba ufuna ukuqhubeka nokuziva ushushu, ngakumbi ukuba nawe ubafumana benomtsalane kwaye bafuna ukuvunywa kwabo.
4. Ukhangele isizathu sokuphelisa izinto - ngokulungileyo.
Ewe kunjalo, sikho esinye isizathu esiqhelekileyo sokuthandana nomntu ongaphandle komtshato wakho, kwaye kunokuba nzima ukwazi ukuba kungenxa yeemvakalelo zokwenyani okanye ubudlelwane obungenampilo.
Kukho ithuba lokuba ujonge ngokungazi ukuba kutheni umtshato wakho uphela. Unokwenza oku ngenjongo, ewe, kodwa masicinge ukuba awuyazi loo nto okwangoku.
Ukuba umtshato wakho awunampilo, usenokuba sele uzame iindlela zokuphuma kuwo. Unokoyika ukucela uqhawulo mtshato, kodwa sele uqalile ukutyala imbewu ngethemba lokuba izinto ziyawa ngokwendalo.
Mhlawumbi uyekile ukwenza umgudu kunye nabo, okanye ulele kumagumbi ahlukeneyo kwaye uchitha ixesha kunye.
Unokucinga ukuba uneemvakalelo zokwenene ngomnye umntu, kodwa unganethemba lokuba ngokukhohlisa iqabane lakho, uya kunyanzela izinto ukuba ziphele.
Banokunyamezela into yokuba ungaze uphinde wabelane ngesondo, okanye uyekile ukucoca nokubaphekela lonke ixesha. Banokwamkela ukuba ufuna ukuchitha ixesha elininzi wedwa, kwaye banokulunga xa ugwema incoko enzulu nabo.
Nangona kunjalo, ungazi ngasemva kwengqondo yakho ukuba abanakuze ndikuxolele xa ukopela . Inokuba iyinto ekuchukumisayo ukuba ikuqhubele ekubeni wenze ukukopela-uyazi ukuba eso iya kuba sisiphelo somtshato wakho kwaye ungawubaleka, kube kanye.
Ngelixa ingqondo yakho eyaziyo ngekhe ifune ukuvuma ngenjongo yokutshabalalisa umtshato wakho (yiyo loo nto ikuxelela ukuba yenza mthande lo mntu), ingqondo yakho eyazi kakuhle ukuba iyakukukhulula emtshatweni ongenampilo.
Njengoko sibalekile kweli nqaku, ukutshata kodwa sithandana nenye indoda okanye umfazi kuyabhidisa kakhulu. Zininzi izizathu onokuthi ube nazo ezi mvakalelo (okanye cinga uneemvakalelo), kwaye akukho mpendulo ilula xa kufikwa kumba omele ukwenze ngayo.
Into yokuqala onokuyenza kukumba nzulu kwaye ucinge malunga nokuba zivela phi ezi mvakalelo. Kubalulekile ukuba usebenze ukuba ngaba ezo mvakalelo ziyinyani, kwaye uyamthanda omnye umntu, okanye ukuba ziimpawu zomtshato ongenampilo kwaye walatha kumcimbi owahlukileyo.
Singacebisa ukuba uthathe ixesha lakho ngaphambi kokwenza iimvakalelo zakho, ukuba awukabikho, oko kukuthi.
Awunakho ukuhlehlisa into enje, kwaye ngenene kufuneka uyenze into ofuna ukuyifumana ngokwenza.
Khumbula ukuba uhlala unokhetho, kwaye olo ncedo lobuchwephesha luyafumaneka-kuwe ngokwakho kumntu ngamnye ukuze usebenze ngezi mvakalelo, nakuwe njengesibini esitshatileyo ukuze ufumane okungahambi kakuhle, okanye indlela yokuqhubela phambili, nokuba oko kukunye okanye ngaphandle.
Ngaba awuqinisekanga ukuba wenzeni ngothando lwakho ngenye indoda okanye umfazi? Thetha kwi-Intanethi kwingcali yobudlelwane kwi-Relationship Hero enokukunceda ufumane izinto. Ngokulula.
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