Ubulolo yimvakalelo entsonkothileyo, kwaye xa usithi uziva ‘ulilolo’ emtshatweni wakho, oko kunokuthetha izinto ezahlukeneyo.
Mhlawumbi uziva ungavakali okanye ungathandwa okanye unqanyulwe kwiqabane lakho, ngaphandle kobuhlobo obukade wabelana ngabo.
Amathuba awubonanga ukuba eza, kwaye isithukuthezi ohlangabezana naso ngoku emtshatweni wakho singene kuwe.
Isenokuba kukufezekiswa kwakutshanje, okanye usenokuziva unqanyulwe kwiqabane lakho kangangeenyanga okanye iminyaka.
Ngokwasemzimbeni awunakuba wedwa, kodwa ngokwasemphefumlweni akukho mntu ubonayo.
Uziva ukude kwiqabane lakho njengoko nirhoxile kwiindawo ezahlukileyo zommandla enabelana ngawo.
Thatha intuthuzelo kwinto yokuba oku kuqhelekile kunokuba unokucinga, kwaye, kungcono, kodwa ngokwazi ukuba kukho amanyathelo onokuwathatha ukuphinda umise unxibelelwano olukhethekileyo olukhokelele ekubopheleleni iqhina kwasekuqaleni.
Inyani yile yokuba ukutshata, okanye ukuzinza, ubudlelwane bexesha elide, akukhuseli ekufumaneni isizungu.
Kwisifundo esinye Ukusuka eNetherlands, phakathi kwama-20% nama-25% abantu abadala abatshatileyo abangaphezulu kweminyaka engama-64 abanamava okumodareyitha ukuya kubomelele abanesizungu ngokweemvakalelo okanye kwezoluntu.
Kodwa ubulolo bunokuba ngumcimbi nokuba ungakanani na kwaye nokuba utshatile ixesha elide kangakanani.
Buhlala Njani Ubulolo?
Ke ulwalamano olusondeleyo nolothando wena kunye neqabane lakho beninalo njani ngezo ntsuku zokuqala lathathelwa indawo ziimvakalelo zokuba bodwa kwaye nokuba kude?
Kwenzeka njani ukuba umhlobo wakho osenyongweni abe ngumntu ongamaziyo?
Ukuzahlula kufaniswa nomhlaza oyingozi othe chuu kuwonakalisa umtshato wakho. Ihlala ingenabuhlungu ekuqaleni, kodwa, ngelixesha uyayiqonda ityhefu, usulelo lusasazekile.
Ngaphambi kokuba wazi okwenzekileyo, ungafumana ubudlelwane bakho bukrwitshwe liqela kunye nesithukuthezi.
Kwiimeko ezimbi kakhulu, xa ulambile oksijini yokusondela emzimbeni nangokweemvakalelo, umtshato unokuhlaselwa sisifo esinganyangekiyo ngaphambi kokuba kufunyaniswe.
Uninzi lwethu ngabantu basekuhlaleni abanqwenela ukusondelelana. Njengabantu abadala, ngokwendalo sijonga olo lwalamano emtshatweni.
Kodwa, njengoko kuqhelana nokuqhelana, ukuhlala uxakekile kunye nokudinwa kobomi bosapho kuyakhula kwaye ukuxabisana kuyaqala ukunciphisa. Kulula kakhulu ukuba isibini sihlukane, inyathelo ngenyathelo elikhohlakeleyo.
Ubudlelwane buhamba kwiitraki ezimbini ezahlukileyo, kwicala elinye, kodwa ngokuzimeleyo.
Kukho imvakalelo yokukhutshelwa ngaphandle, umgama, kunye nokusondelelana okuncinci.
Niyatya kunye, nilala kunye, nilala ebhedini enye ukuze nibukele umabonwakude, kwaye nibe ngabazali abantwana abafanayo, kodwa kwangaxeshanye niziva nindedwa.
Kunokubakho isondo, kodwa uthando alukho. Kukho intetho, kodwa akukho nxibelelwano lokwenyani, unxibelelwano, okanye ukuqonda.
Iimpawu zokuba nesithukuthezi emtshatweni
Ukwazi iimpawu ezixeliweyo zesizungu emtshatweni kunokunceda ekupheliseni ingxaki kwi-bud.
Jonga olu luhlu kwaye uqwalasele ukubaluleka kwazo kwimeko yakho.
- Uziva ungavakali okanye ungaqondwa liqabane lakho.
- Iingcinga ezinje ngo 'Ngubani okhathalayo?' okanye 'Yintoni inqaku?' zihlala zingena engqondweni yakho.
- Awubonakali ukwazi ukukholisa iqabane lakho okanye ukuhlangabezana nolindelo lwakho kuwe.
- Uziva ngathi iqabane lakho likude kuwe kwaye lihamba ngendlela yalo.
- Uyabukhanyela ubunyani bemeko kwaye uzenze kwabanye ukuba yonke into ilungile, nangona uyazi ezantsi ukuba ayisiyiyo.
- Unqande ukuthetha malunga nomcimbi kunokuba uwukhulise kwaye uzivelele iintlungu ezingenakuphepheka kuwe nakwiqabane lakho.
Iindlela ezi-6 zokwehlula isithukuthezi emtshatweni
Ngenxa yokuba uziva ulilolo emtshatweni wakho, oko akuthethi ukuba unetikiti lokuya kuphela kwinkundla yoqhawulo mtshato.
Akunyanzelekanga ukuba uyamkele imeko ekhoyo.
Makhe sijonge ezinye zeendlela onokuphinda uqhagamshele kunye neqabane lakho, uvule kwakhona amajelo onxibelelwano ayinyani, kwaye uphinde ufumanise ukusondela kunye nolwalamano olufunayo.
1. Zijonge kuqala.
Khumbula ukuba ungumntu othile, hayi isiqingatha esinye nje sesibini.
Jonga ubomi bakho ngaphandle kobudlelwane bakho. Ngaba umsebenzi uthathe umthwalo? Ngaba unengxaki yokulala?
Zama ukuthatha ixesha lakho elingabandakanyi umyeni / umfazi wakho. Thatha ikhefu losuku, uthathe ibhafu, uye kwiklasi yokudanisa / yokuzivocavoca, ucamngce.
Ukuzondla kubalulekile njengokukhulisa umtshato wakho, nokuba leyo yeyona njongo yakho iphambili.
Ukugxila kuwe nakwimpilo-ntle yakho kuya kukunika amandla kunye nokomelela njengoko uthatha amanyathelo okubuyisa ukusondela onqwenela ukukwenza emtshatweni wakho.
2. Yenza inyathelo lokuqala.
Kulula kakhulu ukukholelwa ukuba nguwe wedwa oziva ukhathazekile kwaye ulilolo emtshatweni wakho.
Ngapha koko, kukho onke amathuba okuba iqabane lakho lifumana iimvakalelo ezifanayo zokuziva ulilolo.
Ukuba iqela ngalinye likholelwa ekubeni elinye kufuneka liwubone umsantsa okhulayo- 'baya kubona ukuba bakhathalele ngokwenene' - kulula kakhulu ukuba ikratshi kunye neenkani zingene endleleni kwaye izinto zifikelele kwisithintelo.
Umntu othile kufuneka enze inyathelo lokuqala lokuwela ukwahlula okuvuliweyo.
Ukuze umntu abe nguwe.
Kodwa akufuneki ukuba ibe ngumtsalane omangalisayo enyanisweni, kungcono ukuba akunjalo. Amanyathelo omntwana yiyo yonke into efunekayo.
Ukuba uphuma uhamba, tyibilika nje isandla sakho kwiqabane lakho okanye uhambise ukumanga okumangalisayo ngelixa bexakekile ngomnye umsebenzi okanye enye (ukunikela ukubanceda bawugqibe umsebenzi inokuba licebo lobulumko, kananjalo).
Okanye thatha isandla seqabane lakho ngelixa nibukele iTV kunye.
zingaphi iimamas baby ezizayo
Kuya kuba sisikhumbuzo esibalulekileyo sokudibana kwakho kwangaphambili. Ukuphindaphinda rhoqo kunye nothando lokwenyani, iqabane lakho kufuneka linethemba lokubuyekeza.
Unokuthanda (inqaku liyaqhubeka ngezantsi):
- Iindlela ezili-16 zokuBuyisa uMtshato wakho
- Wenze Ntoni Ngobudlelwane Obungenabudlelwane kunye noQhagamshelo
- Ukuba Ufuna Ukuziva Uthandwa Ngakumbi Kwaye Ufuna Kubudlelwane Bakho, Yenza Ezi Zinto Zili-10
- Iimpawu ze-15 Uthathwe ukuze unikwe ulwalamano lwakho
3. Phinda uyivule incoko.
Unxibelelwano emtshatweni ngokulula lungahle lube 'lolweentengiselwano,' luxubusha kuphela ngezinto eziyimfuneko zabantwana, ezemali, ezomsebenzi, ezemisebenzi, njl.
Zama ukwazisa izihloko ezahlukileyo kwincoko yesidlo sangokuhlwa, endaweni yezinto eziqhelekileyo zemihla ngemihla.
Zama ukufumanisa ukuba iqabane lakho livakalelwa njani ngemiba enzulu ngaphandle kwendlela abantwana abenza ngayo kwaye ngubani oza kuhlawula ityala lombane.
Akukho sidingo sokuzabalaza xa usiza nezimvo - sikufumene. Thatha inkuthazo kwinqaku lethu: Imibuzo eli-115 yokuBuza omnye uMntu oBalulekileyo ukuba aQalise incoko
Yigcine ikhanya kwaye uyigcine imnandi, uqiniseke ukuba ungayenzi ibonakale ngathi kukuphanda imibuzo.
Kwaye ungalibali ukumamela iimpendulo zabo. Iimbono zabo zinokumangalisa kwaye zikunike ukuqonda okungcono kumntu ocinga ukuba umazi kakuhle.
4. Thembeka kwaye ubonise iimvakalelo zakho.
Indlela entle yokunxibelelana nomntu okuthandayo kungo ukubonisa ukuba sesichengeni kwakho .
Njengokuba iimvakalelo zakho zokuzahlula zikhula, kulula ukubeka imiqobo ngokuba womelele kwaye uzimele, nto leyo ebangela kuphela ukwahlukana.
Ukubonisa iimvakalelo zakho zokwenyani kunokuba sisityhilelo kwiqabane lakho. Kungenzeka ukuba bangokoqobo kwaye abasikelelwanga ngendalo enomdla. Mhlawumbi bafuna izinto ezichaziweyo ukuze ‘bafumane’ indlela oziva ngayo.
Kodwa qiniseka ukuba ungabeki sityholo, esenziwa ngokulula xa uziva ubuhlungu kwaye ukhutshelwe ngaphandle. Musa ukubabetha, 'Kutheni ungaboni ukuba ndililolo, ndedwa, kwaye ndikhathazekile?'
Indlela engcono yokuvula incoko kukuthetha into enje, “Ndiziva ndililolo kakhulu mva nje. Ndiyakukhumbula. Ingavuya kakhulu ukuba singazipha ixesha lokuba nathi kule mpelaveki. ”
Mhlawumbi kufuneka ufumane umntu oza kukugcina okanye uhlengahlengise izicwangciso esele zikho. Ukuphosa nje izimvo ngeenxa zonke kuya kukunceda ukusondeza. Kodwa qiniseka ukwenza kubo - ukuthetha akubizi, kodwa isenzo sithatha umzamo.
Xa utyhila iimvakalelo zakho, qiniseka ukuphepha ukuthi, “ wena ndenze ndizive. ” Oko kuyakubabeka ekuzikhuseleni kwaye kunokwenzeka ukuba bahlasele.
Endaweni yoko, isakhele incoko ngokwembono yendlela wena zive.
5. Chithani ixesha kunye.
Kuyamangalisa indlela ekulula ngayo, nokuba sisibini 'esidityanisiweyo', ukuba sihlukane ngokuhamba kwexesha.
Ubomi bunendlela yokurhubuluza nokubeka isinqe phakathi kwendoda nenkosikazi, ngakumbi xa nisebenza kwaye kukho abantwana ekufuneka begcinwe kwaye bagcinwe bonwabile
Xa abantwana bephambili, kulula ukuba umtshato udlale ifiddle yesibini kwaye ekugqibeleni kwelinye iqabane lizive ngathi alihoywanga, alixatyiswanga, kwaye alifakwanga.
Ukuba ukongeza ishedyuli yomsebenzi onzima kumxube, yirisithi yokwahlulahlula, ukubekelwa ecaleni, kunye nokuba yedwa.
Ukugcina imithombo yeendaba zosasazo yenye into etya ixesha elithile (funda: Imidiya yokuncokola inokubuchaphazela njani ubudlelwane )
Sixakeke kakhulu sinxibelelana kwaye sinxibelelana nabantu abakwi-intanethi ngendleko zokuchitha ixesha nabo sibathandayo kwaye sabelana ngobomi bethu nge-24/7.
Ukucwangciswa kobusuku obuqhelekileyo bomhla yeyona ndlela ifanelekileyo yokubonisa ukuba uyayixabisa inkampani yomnye nomnye kwaye uyakuxabisa ukuchitha ixesha kunye.
Beka bucala nakuphi na ukwenzakala osenokuba ukugcinile kwaye ucebise ngokwenza into ebenikade niyonwabela njengesibini.
Ukuhlawulela i-sitter ngaphezulu kokuhlawula ngokuhlwa kunokuba yindleko, kodwa kuthathe njengotyalo mali kubudlelwane bakho.
Ngokwenyani, nangona kunjalo, awunyanzelekanga nokuba uphume uphele endlwini. Yenza nje ukuzibophelela ekuchitheni ixesha kunye emva kokuba abantwana bethe tywa ebhedini, nokuba kukujonga nje umabonwakude esofeni kungekho zinto ziphazamisayo, ngakumbi iifowuni.
Ukwabelana ngezimvo emva kwayo nayiphi na into oyibonileyo yindlela elungileyo yokwenza ixesha leTV libe ngumsebenzi wonxibelelwano.
Ukuba kusihlwa kunzima kakhulu kubantwana kunye neeshedyuli ezixakekileyo, zama ukudibana nesidlo sasemini ngelixa abantwana besesikolweni okanye bathathe ikofu kunye. Nokuba imizuzu elishumi elinesihlanu yanele.
Ukuhambahamba ujikeleza ipaki, upheka isidlo kunye - uhlobo lwezinto ebeniqhele ukuzenza xa niqala-zezinye iindlela zokuphinda nisondele.
Okanye ukuba unexesha elongezelelekileyo ezandleni zakho kuba abantwana bakho bayabhabha indlwane, ungazama ukufumana umdlalo omtsha njengesibini .
Nantoni na ingena kwiishedyuli zakho kwaye ikunika ithuba lokuba kunye.
Yenza ixesha lesibini hayi nje ukuya kuqala, kodwa i kuqala.
6. Vala isikhewu somzimba.
Inye into enokuthi iwele ecaleni kwendlela kukuthandana ngokwasemzimbeni kunye nothando.
Ezo zithintelo besithethe ngazo ngaphambili zihlala zineemvakalelo, kodwa kwa ezo ndonga zikuvumela ukuba ube neentloni zokunxibelelana nomzimba, nangona ulangazelela intuthuzelo ekuzisa.
Ukuba iqabane lakho liziva lililolo njengawe, uya kuba nezakhe izixhobo, enze omnye umqobo phakathi kwakho.
Kungenzeka ukuba usafumana ukukhululwa ngesondo, kodwa oko kube yinto eyenziwa ngomsebenzi, isenzo esiqhelekileyo kunokuba isenzo sothando.
Ingxaki apho ilele kwinzondo eyakha ngokuchasene neempendulo ezizenzekelayo xa isisa singekho.
Izenzo ezizenzekelayo zothando lomzimba, kude negumbi lokulala kwaye ngaphandle kwayo nayiphi na i-ajenda efihliweyo, zezizo eziza kunceda ekudilizeni izithintelo kunye nokubuyisela ukusondelelana phakathi kwakho.
Amathuba okuba baya kunceda ukuphucula ubudlelwane bezesondo nabo.
Xa niphuma nihamba kunye, zama ukuthatha isandla seqabane lakho. Okanye ubeke ingalo egxalabeni okanye esinqeni ukuba uziva ulungile.
Nika ingqalelo ukwanga kunye nokubulisa kwaye ubenze bafudumale kwaye basuke entliziyweni, kunokuba kungabonakali kwaye kuzenzekelayo.
Izimbo zomzimba ezincinci, impembelelo enkulu.
Ukushwankathela…
Kuyothusa ngokwenene ukuziva ulilolo emtshatweni wakho, kodwa inyani kukuba nolona lwalamano luhle luya kumaxesha apho elinye okanye omabini amaqabane aziva ekheswa okanye ekhutshiwe.
Ikwayinyani ukuba yonke imitshato ifuna ukukhuthazwa ngamandla, igcinwe luthando kunye nokwabelana ngokusondelelana.
Akufuneki kubekho imeko yokungaphumeleli ekuzifumaneni apho ukhoyo ngoku, ubuncinci kuba usete injongo yokunyanga ukwahlukana okubangele ukuba wohlukane.
Ngoku unezixhobo zokukunceda ubuyisele ubuqabane bakho.
Kuhlala kuluncedo ukukhumbula ukuba sonke singabantu abaneziphene kwaye umtshato ogqibeleleyo zizinto zeentsomi, hayi inyani.
Ngaba awuqinisekanga ukuba wenzeni ngomtshato wakho? Thetha kwi-Intanethi kwingcali yobudlelwane kwi-Relationship Hero enokukunceda ufumane izinto. Ngokulula.
