Ngamanye amaxesha, imitshato iyamangalisa, ubudlelwane obonwabisayo obuhlala ubomi bonke.
Kwaye ngamanye amaxesha azikho.
Ngapha koko, eminye imitshato inokutshintsha ukusuka kulwalamano lothando, lokuxhasa iye kwiimeko ezixakekisayo ezibethwayo ngamaqela omabini.
Akukho mntu uya emtshatweni elindele ukuqhawula umtshato, kodwa zininzi izinto ezinokuba negalelo kolo hlobo lokuqhekeka.
Ukuba ubeke umsebenzi kwaye unike umtshato wakho ithuba lokuphila, kwaye loo mizamo isilele yonke, unokhetho olubini: chitha ubomi bakho bonke kunye lusizi olupheleleyo, okanye wenze isigqibo sokuqhawula umtshato.
umyeni akanamdla kum
Ngokwendalo, zininzi iimeko zoqhawulo mtshato ezahlukileyo njengoko kukho ubudlelwane emhlabeni, kodwa kukho ezimbalwa eziqheleke ngakumbi kunabanye.
Ukuba uzama ukuthatha isigqibo sokuba uyinqumle loo ntambo okanye hayi, unokuba ujongene nenye (okanye engaphezulu) yale micimbi ilandelayo.
1. Aninakukwazi ukuma omnye komnye.
Bonke ubudlelwane buhamba buhamba, kwaye zombini ukucaphuka kunye nembambano akunakuphepheka, ukuya kuthi ga kwinqanaba.
Kodwa ukuba ufikelele kwinqanaba lokuba uhlale emva kwexesha emsebenzini ukuphepha ukuchitha ixesha ekhaya, okanye ukuhlala emotweni yakho kwaye uzame ukuthetha ngokwakho ukungena ngaphakathi endlwini, yenye imeko kwaphela.
Abanye abantu abatshatileyo bayakhula ngokwahlukeneyo ngokuhamba kwexesha. Oku kunokuba kungenxa yokuba bangena emtshatweni ngaphambi kokuba bazane kuqala. Okanye iimeko zobomi, uxinzelelo, kunye neminye imiba eyahlukeneyo ibangele ukungavisisani phakathi kwabo.
Ukuziqhelanisa kunokuvelisa indelelo, kwaye ukuba ukudelela kuye kwenyuka ukuya kwindawo apho ukuhlala kunye kubuhlungu ngokwasemphefumlweni nasemphefumlweni, kutheni ungaqhubeka ubeka wena, kunye nomnye, ngaloo nto?
Ngamanye amaxesha, ukuphelisa umtshato yeyona nto ingcono onokuyenza- kokubini wena kunye nomnye umntu.
2. Akukho kuthandana ngokwesondo, okanye nina nobabini nibe ‘ngabantakwenu.’
Oku kuqheleke kakhulu kwizibini ezingaphezulu kweminyaka engama-50 okanye njalo, kodwa inokwenzeka nakuluphi na ulwalamano, nakweyiphi na iminyaka.
Ngoku, abanye abantu banokonwaba ngokugqibeleleyo kwixesha elide, ubudlelwane beplato . Ukuba omabini amaqabane alungile kwimeko, kulungile - banokuba nobambiswano oluhle, umhlobo / umntakwabo olusebenzayo ixesha elide.
Ukuba elinye iqabane alonwabanga yiplatonic, nangona kunjalo, izinto ziye zingahambi kakuhle.
Lowo ufuna ukusondelelana nomnye uya kugqibela ekhathazekile kwaye enqatshiwe xa enqatshelwe amaxesha ngamaxesha.
Kwelinye icala, iqabane lika-platonic liza kuziva lingonwabanga kwaye linenzondo malunga nokuhlukunyezwa ngenxa yesondo, kwaye liza kuphinda libuyele kubo.
Kukwakho nethuba lokuba omabini amaqabane aziva njengabantakwabo-omnye komnye. Ukuba oku kuyenzeka, kwaye kusekho ubuhlobo obuqinileyo kunye nolwalamano oluqinileyo lweemvakalelo, kunokuba nakho ukuxoxwa.
Imitshato evulekileyo okanye i-polyamory inokukhetha, kuxhomekeke kumanqanaba entuthuzelo yamaqabane ngezi ntlobo zamalungiselelo.
Ukuba, nangona kunjalo, omabini amaqela angathanda ubudlelwane bexesha elide obubandakanya ukusondelelana ngokwasemzimbeni, kwaye abafuni ukwabelana ngamaqabane nabanye abantu, ngokwenene kukho ukhetho olunye kuphela.
Oko kwathiwa, ukuba ubudlelwane bakho / ubuhlobo buqinile ngokwenene, akufuneki ukuba uhlukane ngeendlela.
Usengowosapho, akunjalo?
Ke kule meko, uqhawulo-mtshato luyalikhulula nje iqhina elithile, likuvumela ukuba ulandele iintlobo zobudlelwane ozifunayo nobabini.
Usengasondela kakhulu - qiniseka nje ukuba amaqabane akho amatsha ayazi ukuba nisondelene kakhulu, kungoko ke kungekho xhala malunga nomona okanye okunye ukungathandeki.
3. 'Ninezinto ezingafaniyo ezingenakulungiswa.'
Abantu batshintsha kakhulu kwikhosi yobudlelwane, kwaye akusoloko kwicala elinye.
Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, sinokutshintsha ukusuka kwiveki ukuya kwenye, ke unokucinga ukuba bangakanani abantu abanokuphinda bazibuyise kwaye bazihlaziye kwiminyaka eliqela.
ndingenza ntoni ngosuku lokuzalwa kwesithandwa sam
Ukuba ukukhula kwakho buqu kuyahambelana neqabane lakho, ke olu tshintsho lunokuhamba kunye, nokuba zichasene ne-polar. Ukuhloniphana, inkxaso, kunye nenkathalo akufuneki isekwe ekuvumelaneni kuyo yonke into.
Kodwa ukuba utshintsho lwakho alunakuthethathethwana ngemvisiswano, ungafumanisa ukuba awusenanto efanayo.
Ngapha koko, ninokuba kunye emqaleni omnye nomnye ngalo lonke ixesha ngenxa yokuba niye nje ningahambelani ngoku.
Olunye lolu tshintsho olunokubakho 'kukuqhekeza isivumelwano' kunokubandakanya:
- Uguquko olungahambelani nenkolo
- Ukwahlula izimvo zezopolitiko
- Ukuziphatha okuluthayo abangavumiyo ukufumana uncedo
- Imilinganiselo yesondo enye engabelani ngayo / inkxaso
- Ukutshintsha kwesini
Abanye abantu benza nje kakuhle kubudlelwane nezinto ezichasene nabo ngokupheleleyo, kwaye abanye abazenzi. Kwaye kulungile.
Nyaniseka kuwe, nakwinto oyenzayo kwaye awufuni kubudlelwane. Ukuba nobabini aninakuthetha-thethana ngomhlaba ophakathi, okanye nipolisiwe kakhulu kumacala ahlukeneyo, ke kungcono ukuba nisahlule ngeendlela.
4. Xa kwenzeka into engenakuxoleleka (okanye engalibalekiyo).
Uxolelo luyamangalisa, kwaye lungcwele ngokupheleleyo xa usebenza nabanye abantu. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, abantu baneziphene, izidalwa ezinamaphutha, kwaye siyajijeka kakhulu.
Ukuqonda ukuba abanye abantu bayasilela, ukuba semngciphekweni, kunye nobuthathaka bomntu kuyamangalisa - kusivumela ukuba siqonde izizathu zabo, kwaye sibaxolele ngokunyanisekileyo.
Oko kwathethi, ngamanye amaxesha abantu benza izinto ezimbi kakhulu, siye sichukunyiswe ngokupheleleyo kukuziphatha kwabo.
Singakwazi ukubaxolela kwinqanaba elithile, kodwa sikhathazwa zizenzo zabo (okanye amagama), okanye - ukuba bekukhohlakele ngenene - abanakudlula kule nto bayenzileyo.
Njengomzekelo, umntu endimaziyo ufumanise umxholo ongandilisekanga kolona hlobo loyikekayo kwikhompyuter yendoda yakhe. Wayothuke kakhulu kangangokuba wabiza amapolisa, wabuyela endaweni yabazali bakhe ngelixa kusenziwa utyando.
Lo ngumzekelo ogqibeleleyo wemeko engenakuxolelaniswa: wayothuke kakhulu kukuziphatha kwakhe ade acinge ngokunamathela.
p> Ukuba okwenzekileyo kubi ngokwaneleyo, umntu usenokungakwazi ukujongana namaqabane abo kwaphela. Ngapha koko, njengemeko engentla, banokoyikiswa zizenzo zabo kangangokuba abasafuni kwanto engenza neqabane labo kwakhona.
Ukuba ujongene nemeko ongenakukwazi ukuyisingatha ngenene, kuyaqondakala ngokupheleleyo ukuba ufuna ukusika amaqhina, uhambe, kwaye uzame ukungabheki emva.
ndingaze ndiyifumane indoda
Imbongi enkulu uAlexander Pope wathi:
'Ukwenza isiphoso ngumntu ukuxolela, ubuthixo.'
Kule nto, ndiza kongeza:
“… Nokusika amaqhina kukhuseleko lwakho, impilo-ntle yakho nokuba sempilweni kulungile.”
5. Ubudlelwane buhlukumeza.
Ukuba umtshato wakho uye wahlukumeza kwaye awukhuselekanga, lixesha lokuba uhambe.
Ndiyathemba ukuba ukhe wazama ukujongana nale micimbi, njengoko kuhlala kukho izizathu ezinokuba negalelo kuzo. Kodwa ukuba kulungile, utshintsho lokwenyani alwenzeki, ukuhlala ke kuya kubangela ukonzakala okungaphezulu.
Ukuphathwa gadalala akufuneki kubundlobongela kuwe. Ukungahoywa, inkohlakalo yomoya, ukukhanya kwegesi, ixesha elide lokuthula , nolunye uhlaselo lwengqondo… zonke ezi ziindlela zokuxhatshazwa ezinokumonakalisa umntu kakhulu ekuhambeni kwexesha.
Ngamanye amaxesha ezi zinokukhulisa iintloko zazo ezimbi xa elinye iqabane lifuna ukuphelisa ubudlelwane, kodwa alifuni ukuba 'libi' ngokuqhawula izinto.
Mhlawumbi bacinga ukuba nina nobabini kufuneka nihlale kunye ngenxa yabantwana, okanye mhlawumbi imvelaphi yakho yenkcubeko okanye inkolo iyakhaba kuqhawulo mtshato. Ke lonke olo xinzelelo, ukungonwabi, kunye nengqumbo kuyayifaka intloko kwimo yokuziphatha embi, eyonakalisayo.
Ukuba ukhe wazama ukujongana neqabane lakho malunga noku kwaye izinto khange ziphuculwe, okanye ukuba uyoyika, ndicela ufumane uncedo. Thetha nabahlobo bakho kunye nosapho, funa uncedo lonyango okanye umcebisi, kwaye ungoyiki ukubiza amapolisa ukuba uyafuna.
Ukuxhatshazwa akwamkelekanga, kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo akunandawo emtshatweni. Ukuba le yinto ojongana nayo, phuma nge-ASAP.
6. Akukho nto iseleyo 'ukulungisa'
Ukuba izinto bezingalunganga okwethutyana, ninokuba nobabini nifaka iinzame zokugcina ukugcina ukuhlala koxolo endlwini.
Bobabini abatshatileyo banokuxakaniseka kukudakumba, unxunguphalo, ukuqaqanjelwa bubuthongo, kunye neminye imiba emininzi eyenzekayo xa abantu bekwimeko ezimbi, kodwa bengathethi-okanye benze inyani-yabo.
kutheni umyeni wam ehlala enomsindo
Njengoko bekutshiwo ngaphambili, ezinye ubudlelwane zihlala ubomi bonke, kwaye ezinye azenzi njalo. Kwaye kulungile. Oko akuthethi ukuba umtshato 'usilele,' kodwa endaweni yoko ukuba ukudibanisa kwakho kuqhubekile.
Ukuba utshintshe ikhondo lomsebenzi, oko akuthethi ukuba 'usilele' kule yakho yangaphambili, akunjalo? Kodwa endaweni yoko, uyitshintshile kwaye uyilahlile le nto ubuyilandele ngaphambili, kwaye kufuneka uqhubeke nokuzaliseka okukhulu kwikhondo elikulungele ngcono.
Ukuba ngenene nenze konke okusemandleni ukugcina obu budlelwane buqhubeka, kwaye akukho nto isebenza, mhlawumbi kungcono ukuba nobabini niqhubeke.
Ndiyathemba ukuba ninemiqathango eyoneleyo eninokusebenza kunye ukukhathalela abantwana bakho, izilwanyana zasekhaya kunye neeprojekthi kunye. Usenokude ufumanise ukuba uvana ngcono kakhulu njengabahlobo abasenyongweni kunakwintsebenziswano esondeleyo.
*
Ukuba ufunda eli nqaku, kunokwenzeka ukuba sele uqinisekile malunga nesigqibo osixhomekeke kuso. Unokufuna nje isiqinisekiso sokuba olu khetho lulungile. Ndiyathemba ukuba sikwazile ukukunceda wazi ukuba akunjalo okanye hayi.
Ekugqibeleni, 'uqhawulo-mtshato' akufuneki lube ligama elibi. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, ukuba nobabini anonwabanga yimeko yenu, ukuyiphelisa kuyanivumela nobabini ukuba niqale uhambo olutsha, oluthembekileyo ngakumbi.
Kunokubakho i-adventure enkulu elinde elowo kuni ukuba ngekhe nikwazi ukuyiqala kude kuyinqumle le ntambo.
Ukuba ungakwenza oko ngothando kunye neenjongo ezilungileyo kunomsindo okanye ubukrakra, konke kungcono. Kuthathe oku kohlukana njengesenzo sothando: esakho nesiqu sakho.
Yonke le meko inokubonakala ngathi iyoyikisa, kodwa ukucaphula uSeneca:
' Zonke iziqalo ezitsha zivela kwesinye isiqalo sesiqalo. '
Ngaba awuqinisekanga ukuba uza kuwuqhawula umtshato okanye umyeni okanye umfazi wakho? Okanye ufuna nje uncedo ngayo? Thetha kwi-Intanethi kwingcali yobudlelwane kwi-Relationship Hero enokukunceda ufumane izinto. Ngokulula.
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