Imicimbi yeemvakalelo ixhaphake kakhulu kunokuba ungacinga.
Kwaye ubuchwepheshe bale mihla kunye nonxibelelwano benza ukuba kube lula ukuwenza.
Kulula kakhulu ukuba abantu banxibelelane ngeendlela ezingezizo ezesiko, ngakumbi kwimithombo yeendaba zentlalo, ukuba ubuhlobo beplato bunokuziphatha ngokulula kwimicimbi yentliziyo nengqondo.
Nangona bengenakuze babe ngokwasemzimbeni, umcimbi wovakalelo unokwenzakalisa ngakumbi kunokwasemzimbeni.
Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, ukuthandana ngokwasemzimbeni kunokuba lula sisiphumo sezigqibo ezimbi okanye ukungxama.
Ukuthandana ngokweemvakalelo, nangona kunjalo, kufuna ubuxoki, inkohliso, ubuqhetseba nokushiya inyani.
Eli nqanaba lokungcatsha linokutshabalalisa ngokulula konke ukuthembela kubudlelwane.
Yintoni imicimbi yeemvakalelo?
Zininzi iindlela zokudibanisa ezijika ubudlelwane. Enye yezona zinto zinkulu kakhulu kukuthandana ngokweemvakalelo.
Iqabane lobudlelwane kufuneka libe ngumntu onokuzityand 'igila kwiingcinga zakho ezinzulu, uloyiko, iminqweno kunye neemvakalelo.
Nabo, bazityand 'igila kuwe, nto leyo enceda ukukhula nokukhulisa umanyano olusondeleyo phakathi kwakho.
Ukuthandana ngokweemvakalelo kuxa elinye iqabane liqala ukwakha olo lwalamano lusondeleyo nomntu wesithathu ongaphandle kobudlelwane.
Ukunganyaniseki ngokweemvakalelo kunokukhokelela ekutsaleni ngokunzulu ngokweemvakalelo nangokwengqondo.
Umntu unokuphinda azichaze iingxaki abanazo kubudlelwane babo nomntu wesithathu, oko kuqinisa ubudlelwane phakathi komthathi-nxaxheba kunye nomntu wesithathu.
Ihlala iqala ngokulula, ubuhlobo beplato ...
UJack udibana nalo mfazi mkhulu kwaye ucofa kakuhle naye. Uthetha naye rhoqo kwaye ufumanisa ukuba banomdla oqhelekileyo.
UJack uqala ukuthetha naye malunga nobunzima bomsebenzi wakhe, inkosikazi yakhe kunye nosapho.
Yena kunye nenkosikazi yakhe khange benze naliphi na inyathelo lokuhlala bathandane omnye nomnye ngoxanduva kunye nokuzimela kwimpilo yemihla ngemihla, ke ulwalamano olusondeza lo mfazi ngaphandle kobudlelwane bakhe luqala ukuphazamisa ubudlelwane bakhe.
UJack uqala ukuchitha ixesha elininzi kunye namandla kunxibelelwano kunye nelinye ibhinqa ngaphandle komfazi wakhe.
Into elandelayo ayaziyo, uqala ukuzibuza ukuba ubomi buza kuba njani ngomnye umfazi endaweni yomfazi wakhe.
Iimpawu ze-8 UNOKUBA NOKUBA UTHATHELE XA UKUKHANJISWA NGOKUNGENAKO
Kukho imiqondiso eyahlukeneyo yokuba unokuba uthandana nomntu ngokweemvakalelo. Nazi eziphambili.
1. Usoloko unxibelelana nomnye umntu.
Ukunxibelelana nomntu kuhlala kwaye kuyaqhubeka.
Ungazifumana ushiya ecaleni iqabane lakho ukwenza ixesha lokuthetha nalo mntu, amaxesha ngamaxesha angalunganga, njengaxa ngekhefu lesidlo sasemini, ezinzulwini zobusuku, okanye xa uleleyo.
Uchitha ixesha elininzi kakhulu unxibelelana nalo mntu.
2. Uzibona ucinga ngalo mntu rhoqo.
Umntu ungena kwiingcinga zakho rhoqo. Uqala ukuba neengcinga ngabo ngokungathi ubuya kwenza ngomntu othabatheka nguye.
Ufuna ukwabelana ngezinto nabo, wabelane nabo ixesha, kwaye uhlala uzibuza ukuba baqhuba njani.
Lo mntu uya kuba semqondweni wakho rhoqo kunokuba ungalindela ntoni ngobuhlobo beplato.
Uxoxa ngezihloko zobuqu naloo mntu.
Zimbalwa kakhulu izihloko zencoko ezingavumelekanga phakathi kwenu nobabini. Unokuzifumana uxela iingxaki zakho kubo rhoqo, ufuna intuthuzelo kumagama okanye kwizenzo zabo.
Ukwafumanisa ukuba wabelana ngeengxaki zobudlelwane bakho okanye ukugxekwa kweqabane lakho nalo mntu.
4. Uyakholelwa ukuba lo mntu uyiqonda bhetele kuneqabane lakho.
Lo mntu unokubonakala ngathi ufumana indlela enzulu ngakumbi kuneqabane lakho.
Kwaye amaxesha amaninzi, baya kuthi, kuba imizila yonxibelelwano iqhekekile phakathi kwakho neqabane lakho ukuze bangazazi nakuphi na ukukhula okanye utshintsho okhe wahlangabezana nalo.
5. Uqala ukwenza izizathu zokuchitha ixesha elininzi nomntu.
Oku kunokuba okanye kungabi ngokwasemzimbeni. Isenokuba ukutsiba umsebenzi endaweni yokuchitha ixesha lakho uncokola nevidiyo okanye uthumela imiyalezo nomntu.
Ukunganyaniseki ngokweemvakalelo kuhlala kukhuthazwa kukunxibelelana rhoqo kunye rhoqo nomntu.
6. Uqala ukuthelekisa iqabane lakho nomntu.
Unokulungelelanisa iqabane onalo ukuba uthandana nalo ngokweemvakalelo, uthelekise iqabane lakho nalo.
yimalini isongezo rae ngexabiso
Unokuba nomsindo okanye ukhathazeke kuba iqabane lakho alifani nomntu wesithathu okanye lingenzi izinto ngendlela ezenza ngayo.
Umlingane uhlala ehlala engalunganga, nokuba akukho nto ayenzileyo iphosakeleyo, kuba umntu onemvakalelo ngoku ubabambe kumgangatho ongalunganga.
Umgangatho ongafezekisekiyo uhlala usekwe kuhlobo lomntu wesithathu. Olo lungelelwaniso lusekwe ikakhulu kwinto yokuba i-chemistry intsha kwaye awuhlali naloo mntu, ngenxa yoko awukaziboni ngokuchanekileyo iimpazamo zabo okanye isimilo sokucaphukisa okwangoku.
7. Uthumela ixesha lakho elininzi nengqwalaselo emntwini.
Iqabane lakho liya lisiba ncinane njengoko ixesha lihamba. Unika ixesha lakho elininzi nengqwalaselo kulo mntu wesithathu, uhlala uthatha ixesha onokuthi ulichithe neqabane lakho endaweni yoko.
8. Kufuneka uxoke ukulawula ukuhamba kolwazi malunga neqabane.
Ubuxoki ngokushiywa usaxoka, kwaye ngokulula yeyona flegi ibomvu inkulu onokuba nayo ngokuthandana ngokweemvakalelo.
Awuthembekanga ngokupheleleyo ngobuhlobo bakho naloo mntu utshate naye.
Ushiya iinkcukacha malunga nento obuthethe ngayo nangexesha othethe ngalo. Awuwathethi amaxesha apho udibana khona nalo mntu, njengezidlo zasemini okanye iintlanganiso.
Uyaphika ukuba unxibelelwano lwenzekile okanye unokucima rhoqo izingodo zencoko onazo nalo mntu ukuze iqabane lakho lingazifumani.
Ukuba awukwazi ukuxoxa ngokukhululekileyo ngobuhlobo neqabane lakho, mhlawumbi yinto yovakalelo.
Iimpawu ezi-6 zeQabane lakho liKopela ngokweemvakalelo kuwe
Kukho imiqondiso ecacileyo yokuba iqabane lakho linokuba nokuthandana ngokweemvakalelo.
1. Iqabane lakho liqala ukufihla malunga nezinto ze-elektroniki.
Umlingane okopela ngokwasemphefumlweni unokufaka ikhowudi yokupasa kwifowuni yakhe xa babengenayo ngaphambili, cima isikrini okanye uyibeke kwimodi yokulala xa usondela, okanye ungaze uvumele ifowuni yabo ukuba ingaboni.
Le yeyona nto inkulu kwaye icace gca ukuba iqabane lakho lifihla into kuwe.
2. Iqabane lakho liqala ukukhankanya umhlobo othile kakhulu.
Kumaxesha amaninzi kunokuba bekhankanye nabahlobo babo.
Banokubonakala ngathi bangeniswa yile nto icingwa ngulo mntu, indlela abazenza ngayo izinto, okanye babalisa inani eligqithisileyo lamabali ngalo mntu.
Uva ngokubanzi malunga nezimvo zalo mntu.
3. Iqabane lakho liyarhoxa kwaye liyakugxeka.
Iqabane lakho linokugxeka kakhulu kuwe, ukhetho lwakho, kunye nendlela ozenza ngayo izinto.
Oku kunokubonakala ngathi akuphumi ndawo, kodwa inokuba sisiphumo seqabane lakho elikuthelekisa nalo mntu ulungileyo bathetha naye.
4. Iqabane lakho lenza ixesha elongezelelekileyo lokuba kunye naloo mntu.
Oku kunokujongeka njengokufuna ukuba neentlanganiso nomntu lowo, isidlo sasemini, iiprojekthi ezongezelelweyo, okanye imisebenzi yangaphandle ebandakanya omnye umntu.
Izinto ezithandwayo ezitsha kunye nemidla ethatha iqabane lakho ukuba ishiye usapho ebonakala ngathi ayizukuvela ndawo inokuba sisalathiso.
Kubantu abaninzi, baya kube bethethile ngokuba nomdla kwinto kwakude kudala ngaphambi kokuba bayizame.
Kodwa, ngequbuliso ngaphandle, iqabane lakho lingena kwi-racquetball, nangona bengazange babonakalise nawuphina umdla kwi-racquetball ngaphambi koko.
5. Ithuku lakho likuxelela ukuba into ethile icinyiwe.
Ukuba awunguye umntu onomona okanye othambekele kuxinzelelo, uvakalelo lwesisu luphawu oluhle lokuba into icinyiwe.
Leyo yingqondo yakho engekho zingqondweni ichola iiyantlukwano zokuziphatha okuqhelekileyo liqabane lakho kwaye uzama ukukuxelela ukuba into icimile.
6. Iqabane lakho liyala ukuthetha ngomnye umntu.
Umntu onomdla womphefumlo, nokuba bayakuqonda okanye akunjalo, uya kuzama ukulawula ulwazi oluya kuvumela iqabane lakhe ukuba libone ukuba kuqhubeka ntoni.
Banokuba nomsindo okanye baphazamiseke xa ufuna ukuthetha ngalo mntu unabo.
Banokuphambuka kwaye babange ngokungqongqo ukuba bangazi. Ukuphendula ngomsindo yiflegi enkulu ebomvu ebomvu yokuba kukho ukungathembeki ngokweemvakalelo okuqhubekayo. Kufuneka babe nomsindo ngantoni?
Bangaphinda bazame ukutyhalela kuwe loo mpazamo, ngokungathi awunalungelo lakubuza imibuzo malunga nobuhlobo babo naloo mntu.
Uhlala unelungelo lokubuza.
Unokuthanda (inqaku liyaqhubeka ngezantsi):
- Iindlela ezili-9 zokujongana nokuNgcatshiswa kunye nokuPhiliswa kwiNtlungu
- Ungayakha njani kwakhona kwaye uphinde ufumane iTrasti emva kokuXoka kwiQabane lakho
- Yintoni ekuqwalaselwa njengokukopa kubudlelwane?
- Intabatheko ngokuchasene nothando: Iiyantlukwano eziphambili ezili-11 ezibabeka bodwa
- Iindlela Zokukopa ZamaNarcissists
- Ukuthandana nendoda etshatileyo? Iinyaniso ezili-13 ekufuneka uzive.
Izizathu ezili-11 zokuba kutheni abantu bezibandakanya kwimicimbi yeemvakalelo
Enye yeengxaki ezininzi zokukopela ngokweemvakalelo kukuba kulula kakhulu ukuba umntu azithethelele ukuba isenzo sakhe asinabungozi.
'Bangabahlobo nje,' sisiteyitimenti esiqhelekileyo kuba kulula ukuziqinisekisa ukuba le nto bayenzayo ayilunganga ukuba bubuhlobo nje beplato.
Kodwa ayibobuhlobo beplato ukuba umntu uziva efuna ukufihla ubudlelwane kumaqabane abo.
Kutheni le nto umntu anokuthi aqale athandane neemvakalelo?
1. Umntu akayiqondi into ayenzayo ukuba ayilunganga.
Abantu abakho krelekrele ngokweemvakalelo.
Kufuna okukhulu ukuzazi kunye nobukrelekrele beemvakalelo ukuqonda ukuba kutheni sisenza izinto esizenzayo, kwaye nokuqonda ukuba izinto esizenzayo zinokuba yingozi kwabanye abantu.
2. Umntu uyi-narcissist kwaye ufuna ukuqwalaselwa rhoqo kunye nokuqinisekiswa.
AmaNarcissist ahlala kwaye aphefumla ngaphandle kwengqwalaselo abayifumana kwabanye abantu.
Nje ukuba uhlale phantsi kwi-monotony kunye nokungaguquguquki kobudlelwane obuzinzileyo, i-narcissist ingaqala ukujonga ngaphandle kobudlelwane ukuze ihoywe.
3. Banomsindo kwiqabane labo kwaye abajongani.
Ukuthintela ingxaki yeyona ndlela ilula kakhulu kunokuba usilwela kwaye ujongana nayo.
Umntu unokuzibandakanya ekukopeni ngokweemvakalelo kuba engafuni ukujongana nemicimbi kubudlelwane babo.
Oku kunokubangelwa liqabane elala ukulalanisa okanye ukuzama ukulungisa iingxaki.
Kungekudala okanye kamva, iqabane liyeke nje ukuzama kwaye iliso labo liqala ukubhadula lisiya kwinto ababona ingcono.
4. Bayoyika ukuzibophelela.
Ukuzibophelela kumntu omnye sisindululo esoyikisayo kubantu abaninzi.
Ungathini xa wenze impazamo? Ungathini ukuba kukho into elunge ngakumbi phaya? Ungathini ukuba lo mntu akajongi ukuba ungulowo ubucinga ukuba unguye?
Umntu okopela ngokweemvakalelo unokufumana imiba yokuzibophelela ezibathintelayo ekwenzeni ubudlelwane bexesha elide basebenze.
5. Bayoyika ukuba bodwa.
Kwelinye icala uloyiko lokuzibophelela kukoyika ukuba wedwa.
Lo mntu kunqabile ukuba angatshatanga ixesha elide kwaye uhlala enomntu olinde emaphikweni ukuba atsibe xa izinto zingahambi kakuhle kubudlelwane babo.
Ukugcina ezo ndlela zivulekile ukutsiba kolunye ubudlelwane kufuna ukungathembeki ngokweemvakalelo ukugcina umntu wesithathu enomdla kwaye enomdla.
Banokungabi sempilweni ngokwasemoyeni ngokwaneleyo ukuba bangagxila kulwalamano olunye.
6. Banokuba nemida emibi kunye neemodeli zonxibelelwano.
Umntu onolwalamano olubi kwimodeli yabo bonke ubuntwana kunye nobomi uya kuthi gqi kubudlelwane obubi.
Banokujonga ukungcatsha nokukopela njengenxalenye nje eqhelekileyo yobudlelwane ukuba abafundanga ayiyonyani leyo.
Umntu obukele utata wabo engcatsha umama wabo (okanye kungenjalo) unokuphinda acinge ngokuziphatha njengoko kulindelwe.
7. Baneentlungu ezingasonjululwanga, usizi, okanye ilahleko.
Kulula ukuba umntu acinge umntu ongasekhoyo. Intlungu ihlala ibangela ukuba singazinanzi izinto ezingalunganga ngomntu kwaye sigxile kokulungileyo kuphela.
Ukuphulukana nomntu kungatshisa umngxuma entliziyweni yomntu, kwaye banokujonga ngaphandle kobudlelwane ukugcwalisa loo mngxuma ngeempawu ezingenazo iqabane lomtshato njengendlela yokusondela kumntu wabo oswelekileyo.
8. Abathandi ukuziva bebekelwe imiqathango kwaye kufuneka bavukele.
Abanye abantu abakulungelanga ukuphila ubomi obuzolileyo. Uxanduva lomsebenzi, usapho, kunye nobudlelwane kunokuziva kucinezela, kubangele umntu ukuba aphume ngokukhangela into engaphandle kobudlelwane.
Basenokungafuni ukuziva bevalelekile kwindima abazikhethele yona, kwaye endaweni yokujongana nayo, phuma ngaphandle kobudlelwane.
9. Abakhulanga ngokwasemoyeni ngokwaneleyo ukuba babe nolwalamano.
Ubudlelwane bunokuba nzima, ngakumbi xa iindawo ezimbi zobomi ziqala ukubetha ngokwenene esi sibini.
Ukufa, iintlekele, umvuzo ophulukileyo, kunye namathuba aphulukileyo konke kuya kuvavanya ubudlelwane.
Umntu okopayo ngokweemvakalelo usenokungakhuli ngokwasemoyeni ngokwaneleyo ukuba angajongana nayo yonke loo nto, ke ngoko basebenzisa ubudlelwane beemvakalelo njengendlela yokubalekela kumnandi okwexeshana.
Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, kulula kakhulu ukuba ubonakalise umntu xa ungafuneki uhlala nabo okanye ujongane namacandelo amabi obuntu babo imihla ngemihla.
10. Ulwalamano luphelile, kodwa abayi kuvuma kubo.
Ngamanye amaxesha ubudlelwane buqhuba ikhosi yabo. Ayizizo zonke izinto eziza kuhlala ngonaphakade.
Ubudlelwane bunokuphela ngokucacileyo kwithuba elidlulileyo, kunye nokulahleka kweemvakalelo kunye nokwaphuka kokuthembana, kodwa banokoyika ukuvuma oko kubo okanye abafuni ukuba yindoda embi ngokwahlukana nomntu.
Banokukhetha ukungathembeki ngokweemvakalelo njengendlela yokufumana ulonwabo lwabo kwaye banike amaqabane abo isizathu sokwahlukana nabo, ke akufuneki bathathe uxanduva lokuba ngumntu ombi ngokuphelisa ubudlelwane.
11. Bayasokola nolawulo lwempembelelo kwaye bafuna ukungxama.
Ukukhawuleza kwento entsha, entsha, yokuhlangana naloo mntu mtsha mkhulu kunye nezinto ezinokubakho ezinokubakho kwiqabane elitsha lothando.
Ukulawulwa gwenxa okungafunekiyo kunokubonakalisa ngeendlela ezininzi, ukusuka ekuzinkcinkceni ngotywala kunye nokutya ukuya kwi-adrenaline yokuleqa ukungathembeki emzimbeni okanye ngokweemvakalelo.
Umntu onolawulo olubi lwempembelelo unokujonga ukuba aqhume ii-endorphins kunye ne-dopamine ngokufikelela ngaphandle kobudlelwane.
Uphelisa njani ukuthandana ngokweemvakalelo?
Ukuphelisa umcimbi weemvakalelo yeyona nto ilula. Wena, okanye umntu obandakanyeka kulwalamano lweemvakalelo, kufuneka aqhawule konke ukudibana okungafunekiyo nomntu wesithathu ukuze ezo mvakalelo zibe nethuba lokufa.
Inxalenye enzima kukujongana nokuba kutheni kwenzeke kwasekuqaleni kwaye kwakhiwe ubudlelwane.
Ukuthandana ngokweemvakalelo kunokuluchitha ngokulula ulwalamano olwenziweyo kuba abantu abaninzi bakujonga njengolubi kunokwasemzimbeni.
Ukuthandana ngokwasemzimbeni kunokuba yinto elula njengempazamo yokunxila. Inzima, ubomi kunye nobudlelwane butshintsha enye, kodwa impazamo iyafana.
Ukunganyaniseki ngokweemvakalelo kufuna ukuxoka, ukukhohlisa, kunye nokuxhaphaza kwinqanaba elikhulu ukuqinisekisa ukuba iqabane alifumani malunga nalo.
Kubaliwe.
Loo mbono uya kuhlala ehamba phezu kobudlelwane.
Iholo lomlo chyna wodumo
Kuthekani ukuba iyenzeka kwakhona?
Ngaba ndizokwazi ukuba iyenzeka kwakhona?
Kutheni le nto kufuneka ndiqhubeke nokutyala ixesha kunye namandla emvakalelo kumntu ongandihloniphi ngale ndlela? Ngokukodwa ukuba akukho ndlela ndinokwazi ngayo abayi kuphinda bayenze?
Kwaye ukuba umntu oye wazibandakanya kwimo yeemvakalelo akazilungisi iingxaki ezibangele ukuba babenolwalamano kwasekuqaleni, ayisiyongqondo ukucinga ukuba into efanayo iya kuphinda yenzeke kwakhona.
Kunzima ukwakha uthando kunye nokusondelelana, ngakumbi xa kuye kwaphulwa ngendlela enzulu.
Ukuba bobabini abantu kubudlelwane bafuna ukuzama ukubugcina (kwaye ngenene kuyafuneka ukuba babe ngabantu bobabini), unyango lwesibini lunokunika indawo ekhuselekileyo yokuxoxa ngemiba ecacileyo nengacacanga.
Ingcali inokubonelela ngokuzivocavoca kunye nesakhelo sokujongana nokuqhekeka kunye neminyango evulekileyo kulwalamano.
Kwaye kuya kufuneka ixesha elininzi kunye nomzamo ukuze izinto zibuyele kwimeko esempilweni.
