Ukuthandana yinkqubo eyoyikisayo ngamaxesha amahle, akunjalo?
Imithambo-luvo, amabhabhathane, imincili. Iingcinga zibaleka entlokweni yakho kunye neemvakalelo ezityhutyha umzimba wakho.
Ngoku khawufane ucinge ukuba unengxaki yokuxhalaba. Ubunzima nobunzima ocinga ukuba buya kuba bunjani?
Zonke ezo ngcinga kunye neemvakalelo ziye zafikelela kubukhulu… emva koko ezinye.
Ewe, ukuba uthandana nomntu onexhala, kuya kufuneka ufunde indlela yokujongana nayo.
Kwaye kufuneka ufunde ngokukhawuleza.
Kungoko kuphela apho unokunika ubudlelwane elona thuba lihle lokukhula libe yinto engaphezulu.
Iqabane lakho elitsha kusenokwenzeka ukuba kufuneka lilwe needemon ezahlukeneyo ukuze lifike apho nikhoyo nobabini ngoku. Ke lo mntu ufanelwe yeyakho intlonipho kunye nokunconywa.
dlala nzima ukufumana indoda
Amava abo kunye neembono zabo zizodwa. Uxinzelelo lwabo nalo. Bayilawula njani kwaye kufuneka bethintele ntoni ukugcina izinto zizolile kwaye zinoxolo mhlawumbi yinkqubo abaye bayisebenzela ngaphezulu kweminyaka eliqela.
Ke ngeli xesha eli nqaku liza kuzama ukukunika - iqabane- isishwankathelo esibanzi sendlela onokuthi ulujonge ngayo olu lwalamano ngokwahlukileyo kwabanye kwixa elidlulileyo, iqabane lakho elitsha linokuba neemfuno kunye nezinto abazithandayo.
Yigcine engqondweni le nto xa usebenzisa oko ukufundayo apha namhlanje.
Ngayo yonke le nto isathethwayo, ziziphi izinto ezintle onokuzenza, kwaye ungazenzi, xa uthandana nomntu ohlala noxinzelelo?
1. NGABA Buza imibuzo uze Uphuhlise ukuqonda
Njengoko besesitshilo, uxinzelelo ngamava obuqu.
Ukufunda amanqaku ukufumana ulwazi ngokubanzi malunga nale meko kuyanceda, kodwa akunako ukubonelela ngeempendulo umntu azinikezelayo.
Ke, ingxoxo evulekileyo ebandakanya intaphane yemibuzo iya kunceda ulungelelanise amava akho kunye neqabane lakho.
Elona xesha lilungileyo lokubuza imibuzo kuxa bekwindawo engathathi cala, ezolileyo yengqondo.
Imibuzo elungileyo ukubuzwa ibandakanya…
- Ndingenza ntoni ukukunceda ukuba ixhala lakho lisebenze?
- Ndingenza ntoni ukwenza ukuba inkqubo yokwazi ukuba ubelula ibe lula kuwe?
- Ngaba ikhona into endifanele ndiyazi ukuba iya kukunceda okanye ikwenzakalise?
- Ngaba ikhona into ocinga ukuba ndiyayazi?
Iqabane lakho lisenokukufumanisa kunzima ukuthetha ngexhala labo, ngakumbi kuba nisazana. Ke sukutyhala ngamandla ngokukhawuleza.
Akunyanzelekanga ukuba ufunde konke okukhoyo ukuze ufunde ngexhala labo ngexesha elinye, ngokungathi akufuneki ukuba ufunde yonke into oyaziyo ngomntu ongenalo ixhala kwelinye.
Kwaye ngekhe ukwazi.
Ubudlelwane obunika i uqhagamshelo lokwenene thatha ixesha-kwaye yinyani leyo nokuba umntu uyasokoliswa yimpilo yengqondo.
Kodwa musa ukuwajongela phantsi amandla okujonga. Basenokungakwazi ukubeka yonke into ngamagama oza kuwaqonda, ke ukubukela indlela abazenza nabasabela ngayo kwizinto ezithile yenye indlela ebalulekileyo yokufunda ngemeko yabo.
Funda ulwimi lomzimba kunye nembonakalo yobuso kwiimeko ezahlukeneyo. Oku kuya kukunceda uchonge indlela abanokuziva ngayo, kwaye ke, ngendlela onokuthi uphendule ngayo.
Qaphela iimeko ezibonakala ngathi zibangela uxinzelelo kwaye uzame ukuziphepha. Mhlawumbi bazithiyile izihlwele okanye izithuthi zikawonkewonke okanye imivalo ephezulu.
Khumbula esona sifundo siphambili kweli candelo - buza imibuzo. Ukuba ucinga ukuba abonwabanga, linda de bafumane ukuzola kwabo kwakhona kwaye ubabuze ukuba ukubonwa kwakho kuchanekile na.
Qaphela, kodwa qinisekisa. Musa ukucinga izinto (siza kuthetha ngakumbi malunga noku kamva).
Okukhona unokubazi kunye noxinzelelo lwabo, kokukhona baya kuziva bekhululekile. Baza kuziva ngathi wenze iinzame zokubaqonda kwaye banokuba ngabo abakungqongileyo.
2. YIBA Nomonde kwaye ufunde ukuba uthabathe inyathelo na
Umonde luphawu olubalulekileyo kuba kuya kubakho amaxesha apho ukulinda kuphela kwendlela.
Ukuxhalaba ngamanye amaxesha kunokuphazamiseka ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha akunjalo. Ngamanye amaxesha konke esinokukwenza kukulinda ukuba ixhala lidlule.
ungaxelela njani ukuba intombazana yindoda
Abantu bahlala benesidingo sokwenza into ukuzama ukulungisa ingxaki abayibonayo.
Sixhathise esi sihendo.
Qonda ukuba unxunguphalo alunakunyangeka. Inokuba kuphela iphethwe ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo okanye ngoncedo lwamayeza.
Musa ukukhawuleza ungene kumqondiso wokuqala woxinzelelo ukugcina usuku. Iqabane lakho liwazi la mava ngcono kunaye nabani na kwaye ubeka emngciphekweni wokwenza izinto zibe mbi ngakumbi ukuba ucinga ukuba uyazi ngcono kuba ulifundile eli nqaku (okanye nantoni na eyenye).
Kunokuba nzima ukunikela ubungqina kwaye ungaziva unyanzelekile ukuba uncede ngandlela thile, kodwa eyona nto unokuyenza kukubakho kubo.
Nika uncedo xa uceliwe, kodwa kuphela xa uceliwe.
Ukunyamezela kuya kunceda xa iqabane lakho lifuna ukuqinisekiswa. Kuba baya kuyenza. Mhlawumbi amaxesha amaninzi, ngakumbi ekuqaleni.
Ukuxhalaba kunokubangela umntu ukuba ahlale kwiimeko ezimbi kakhulu, nangona izinto zihamba kakuhle. Ke ukuba uyamthanda lo mntu kwaye ufuna ukuba kunye nabo, ngekhe ube nengxaki yokubaxelela njalo-njalo ukunciphisa uxinzelelo lwabo.
3. YENZA Ukhawuleze kwaye Unxibelelane ngokucacileyo
Kuluntu apho ukukhukhumeza, ukukhupha izinto ngaphandle, kunye nokuthintela nantoni na enzima kuya kuxhaphaka, into elula ngokukhawuleza inokunceda umntu oxhalabileyo ukuba ahlale phantsi.
Oko akutsho ukuba kufuneka uhlale utshatile kwi-smartphone yakho okanye ube kwi-beck kwaye ubize iqabane lakho elitsha. Kukho ibhalansi ukubetha ukunqanda ukuwela umgca uye ekunyanzelweni okanye kulawulo lokuziphatha.
Yizinto nje ezilula ezinje ngokubuyisa umnxeba okanye umyalezo obhaliweyo, ukucwangcisela kwangaphambili kunye nokuqinisekisa umsebenzi, okanye umyalezo ukuba ukubambezeleka kungenza umahluko omkhulu ngokubonisa ukuqaphela.
Ukususa izinto ezingaziwayo kunye nezinto ezinokubakho ngokungahambi kakuhle kuya kuvumela umntu oxhalabileyo ukuba aphumle ngakumbi.
Kwakhona, okukhona unokuluqonda unxunguphalo lwabo, kokukhona uya kuba nakho ukwenza ngeendlela ezinceda ukunqanda okanye ukunciphisa ubunzima bayo.
4. YENZA Ziqhelanise nokuGcina uXolile kwiimeko zoVavanyo
Ukuphazamiseka koxinzelelo kunokuvelisa iimvakalelo ezininzi ezahlukeneyo, kubandakanya ingqumbo okanye ubutshaba obungenangqondo kwimeko yemeko.
Ukuphosa umsindo emva komntu osebenza ngendlela yakhe ngohlaselo loxinzelelo kwenza izinto zibe mandundu.
Ke umceli mngeni wakho (kwaye kunokuba ngumceli mngeni ngamanye amaxesha) kukuhlangabezana nomsindo weqabane lakho okanye ubutshaba ngokuzola.
Le asiyondlela yokusabela enayo inkoliso yabantu. Uninzi lwabantu luphendula ngomsindo ngomsindo, ngakumbi ukuba baziva behlaselwa.
Ewe, iqabane lakho lisenokuthetha okanye lenze izinto ezikonzakalisayo xa uxinzelelo lwazo lonyukile. Izinto ezingathethi ngokwenene.
Ixhala ayisosizathu sokwenza oko krwada okanye uziphethe kakubi , kodwa inokuba sisizathu sayo. Nangona kunzima kunokuba kunjalo, ukuzama ukwahlulahlula ukuhlaselwa ngabo kuwe ngexesha lesiganeko sokuxhalaba yindlela enye yokunciphisa impembelelo enayo kuwe.
Kuya kufuneka uzixelele ukuba eli lixhala labo abathetha ngalo. Asinguye umntu ozolileyo nothando othandana naye ofuna ukukukhathaza.
Oku kuza nomqolomba: uxhatshazo ayisiyonto ekufuneka icwecwe okanye inyamezelwe.
Akukho sizathu sokuba ube yingxowa yomntu oxhokonxayo ngokweemvakalelo. Ukuba awuqinisekanga ngemeko okanye ulwalamano ozifumene kulo, eyona nto unokuyenza kukundwendwela umcebisi kwaye ufumane umbono ongathathi cala, wesithathu.
Oko kuthethiweyo, akukho mntu ugqibeleleyo. Kuza kubakho amaxesha amabi okuhamba. Yiloo ndlela nje kulwalamano nomntu ogula ngengqondo.
Unokuthanda (inqaku liyaqhubeka ngezantsi):
- Ukuxhalaba okuSebenza ngokuPhezulu kungaphezu kokuba ucinga ukuba kunjalo
- Iindlela ezi-7 zabantu abaneXhala eliSebenzayo eliFihlakeleyo baFihle imeko yabo
- Izinto ezi-8 ozenzayo ngenxa yokuxhalaba kwakho (abanye abangaboniyo)
- Izinto ezingama-20 ekufuneka uyazi ngaphambi kokuba uthandane nentombazana ecinga kakhulu
- Isikhokelo soMntu esiMdaka ngokwaseNtlalweni ukuDibana
- I-10 Imikhwa Yovalo Etyhila Ixhala Lomntu Langaphakathi Nexhala
Kwaye kuthekani nge-DON'Ts?
kufuneka wenze ntoni xa uthandana nabafana ababini
1. SUKUTHABATHA Zonke iimvakalelo ezingalunganga ezibangelwa kukuxhalaba
Ayizizo zonke iimvakalelo ezingalunganga ezivela kuxinzelelo lomntu. Kuqhelekile ngokwenene kubantu abangenasifo sengqondo ukuba bacinge ukuba zonke iimvakalelo ezingalunganga kumntu ogula ngengqondo zivela kubunzima bokugula kwengqondo.
Asiyonyani leyo.
Abantu abanexhala isengabantu. Ngamanye amaxesha kukho iimvakalelo ezimbi, iintshukumo, okanye amava anokubakho ngenxa yezigqibo ezingalunganga, iintsuku ezimbi, okanye ukukhathazeka ngokubanzi.
Ukuthatha ukuba ukugula ngengqondo kuhlala kungcambu yeemvakalelo ezisemthethweni yindlela eqinisekileyo yomlilo yokwakha inzondo kunye nokuvala unxibelelwano.
Kwaye njengoko besitshilo ngaphambili, unxibelelwano ngoyena ndoqo ekuqondeni ixhala leqabane lakho kunye nendlela yokuziphatha kwabo enokuthi okanye kungahambelani nayo.
Ukuba wenza ngokubanzi zonke iimvakalelo zabo njengezigxininiswe kuxinzelelo lwabo, uyenza into engekhoyo indlela abanokuziva ngayo. Kwaye oku kunokuqhuba umda phakathi kwakho.
Ke sukutsiba kwizigqibo malunga nokuba ixhala likhona nini kwaye alidlali ndawo ekuziphatheni kweqabane lakho.
2. UNGAThathi Izinto Ngokwakho
Sikuchukumisile oku ngaphambili, kodwa kufanelekile ukuphindaphinda. Iqabane lakho linokuthi, ngaxa lithile, likukhahlele ngenxa yoxinzelelo lwabo.
Awunakho ukulawula ukuba kuya kwenzeka nini okanye njani, kodwa kufanelekile ukuyilungiselela.
Abantu bahlala becinga ukuba impilo-ntle yengqondo kunye nolawulo zilungile, zilungelelene. Akunjalo.
Ngamanye amaxesha izinto zivela ngaphandle kolawulo. Ngamanye amaxesha iindlela ezifundwe kunyango azisebenzi. Ngamanye amaxesha amayeza ayaphela, okanye lixesha lotshintsho kumthamo. Zininzi izizathu zokuba kutheni izinto zingahambi kakuhle.
Ke, ukukwazi ukungazithathi izinto buqu Sisakhono esibalulekileyo esinokubakho xa kunokwenzeka kubekho amagama arhabaxa okanye izenzo ezithandabuzekayo.
Ungangumba ekugxilwe kuwo ngomsindo wokukhathazeka ngenxa yokuba inguwe okho kunye nabo ngalo mzuzu uhlasela.
Mhlawumbi ayinguwe abanomsindo, nokuba kubonakala ngathi kunjalo xa bekhwaza okanye bethetha izinto ezikhohlakeleyo kuwe.
Zama ukukubona oku kugqabhuka njengomkhweli onelishwa kubudlelwane bakho - umntwana ocaphukisayo kwisitulo esingasemva emotweni omemeza aze akungxolise ngamanye amaxesha.
Ubungeke unike umntwana ivili lokuqhuba, ke sukuvumela ukudubuleka kweqabane lakho ukuba liqhube izinto nazo.
Umbuzo ocacileyo ngulo: 'Ubeka phi umgca?'
Umgca utsaliwe naphi na apho ukhetha ukuzoba khona. Abanye abantu banakho ukukhupha izinto ngokulula abanye abenzi njalo.
Akukho mpendulo iphosakeleyo kuloo mbuzo kuba wonke umntu wahlukile. Ukuba uziva ngathi awunakukwazi ukumelana nayo xa ixhala lihlasela iqabane lakho, akukho hlazo ekuvumeni kubo kunye nokuphelisa izinto ngoxolo.
3. SUKUZAMA ukulungisa iqabane lakho
Kude kakhulu abantu abaninzi bacinga ukuba uthando okanye uvelwano lwabo luya koyisa kwaye lulungise ukugula ngengqondo kweqabane, ixhala okanye enye indlela.
Oku kuyamangalisa ukuba kude nenyaniso.
Ngumntu omnye kuphela onokuzilungisa. Akukho nyaniso ibaluleke ngakumbi, ebaluleke ngakumbi ekuzameni ukwandisa ukuqonda nothando kumntu onesifo sengqondo.
Ngabo kufuneka bafunde malunga nokugula kwabo ngengqondo, bafunde indlela yokulawula, kwaye baphumeze oko bakufundayo ukunyanzela uzinzo nolawulo.
Akakho omnye umntu onokuyenza. Eyona nto unokuyenza kukukhuthaza kunye nenkxaso kwimizamo yabo.
Ngaphezulu, ukuba ukhona Ndizimisele ngokwenene kulwalamano , Uthando lwakho akufuneki lunikezwe kwimeko yokuba banokuphilisa unxunguphalo lwabo.
Ukuba uza kuthandana nomntu onexhala, kuya kufuneka wamkele ukuba baya kuhlala benalo ixhala, nokuba banokufunda ukulilawula.
Kanye njengokuba ungafuni ukuba bakucele ukuba utshintshe, abafuni ukuba ubuze okanye ulindele ukuba batshintshe.
Bazi ngokupheleleyo ukuba kunzima ukuhlala noxinzelelo-bahlala nayo yonke imihla. Baza kwenza konke okusemandleni abo ukunciphisa ifuthe labo kubudlelwane bakho, kodwa kuya kufuneka uvume ukuba iyakwenza amaxesha anzima.
4. SUKUBA NOXOLO Okanye Ujongele uMlingane wakho
Imfesane yinkalo ebalulekileyo yamava abantu. Uvelwano lomnye umntu olucinezelekileyo okanye imiceli mngeni ebomini inokubonisa ubushushu kwaye iququzelele ukuphilisa.
Inceba, nangona kunjalo, iyinto enzima. Usizi lukhokelela ekwenzeni, kwaye kuhluthwe umntu ubunini beengxaki zabo.
Ngokuqinisekileyo ungaziva ungonwabanga kumntu ojamelene nomceli mngeni, nokuba uthandana nomntu onexhala onobunzima, okanye enye into enzima.
Kodwa ngokuqinisekileyo ikhona kufuneka ukuba imida kunye nemida .
Into ehlekisayo ngayo kukuba abantu abazimiseleyo ngokulawula isifo sabo sengqondo okanye ukubuyela kwimeko yabo abafuni kusizelwa.
Into abaqhele ukuyifuna yinkxaso okanye ukuqonda, kuba baninzi abantu abangafuni ukuqonda, abathi shwaka xa kukho ubunzima obuncinci.
Ungawazi njani umahluko? Jonga umgudu.
Ngaba bayazama? Ngaba bayabagcina oogqirha babo okanye unyango? Ngaba bayawathatha amayeza abo, ukuba akhona?
Ngaba bayazama ukunxibelelana xa benakho? Ngaba bazama ukukunceda uqonde? Ngaba bathatha uxanduva ngeempazamo zabo okanye ngomonakalo abawenzayo?
Kufanelekile ukuba ume ecaleni komntu owenza umgudu. Kodwa ukuba abekho? Ewe, banendlela engakumbi yokuhamba kuhambo lwabo lobuqu.
indlela yokudlala nzima ukufumana abafana
Kwaye kuya kufuneka ulinganise ngononophelo ukuba uyafuna na okanye hayi ukubazisa ubunzima bomntu onoxinzelelo olungalawulwayo ebomini bakho.
