Abanye abantu bakrwada kakhulu.
Kwaye kuyindalo ukubuza ukuba kutheni.
Xa ufumana impendulo engathandekiyo evela kumntu okwimeko ethile, inokuchaphazela wena…
… Ingakumbi xa impendulo enjalo ingafanelekanga kwaphela kwaye ingenasihlahla.
Ngokuqinisekileyo, akukho nto intsha. Imeko yomntu ayikaze ibe yindawo elungileyo apho wonke umntu enobubele ngokungagungqiyo, ecingayo, kwaye enembeko.
Oko bekusoloko kukho kwaye kuya kuhlala kukho abantu abakhohlakeleyo, abakrwada nabangenantlonipho.
Kodwa Ama-60% abantu baseMelika cinga indlela yokuziphatha ekrwada iyanda.
Kwaye mhlawumbi yimeko efanayo nakwamanye amazwe amaninzi.
Kodwa kutheni? Kutheni abanye abantu bephela ngolu hlobo?
leliphi ixesha elililo lokuthi ndiyakuthanda kubudlelwane
Iingcambu ezi-7 zoonobangela bokrwada
Nangona unxunguphalo noxinzelelo kubomi bemihla yethu ngokucacileyo kuyinxalenye, zininzi iimpembelelo kunye neemeko ezibangela ukuba abantu babe krwada, bangabi nantlonelo kwaye bangacingeli.
Masithathe indlela yohlalutyo ngakumbi kwaye siqwalasele ukuba kungabikho ngaphezulu kwe-frenetic yethu ye-21stIndlela yokuphila yenkulungwane emva kokunyuka kobukrwada.
Zeziphi ezinye izinto ezinokubangela?
1. Ukuzithemba okuphantsi
Ukuqwalaselwa ngononophelo kwabantu abaninzi abakrwada kuya kutyhila ukuba abazithembanga ncam, banokuzithemba okuphantsi kunye nokungaqondi malunga nokuziphatha kwabantu.
Kunjengokuba umbhali wenoveli waseBrazil uPaul Coelho wathi: “Indlela abantu abaphatha ngayo abanye ibonisa indlela abazijonga ngayo.”
Ukuba umntu uzijonga ngesiqhelo esibi nesokugxeka, eso simo sengqondo sinokuchaphazela indlela abajonga ngayo abanye.
Abantu abanokuzithemba okuphantsi bahlala befihla ukungazithembi kwabo ngokuguqula izihlunu zabo zomlomo, ukuba krwada kunye nokuzingca, ngelinge lokuzenza bazive bomelele.
2. Iingxaki Zakho
Akukho namnye kuthi okhuselekile kukuziva uxinzelelo olunxulumene nolwalamano olusondeleyo, umsebenzi wethu, okanye nakwezinye izinto.
Nokuba ucinga kakuhle kangakanani ukuba siphatha ubuqhetseba bobuqu, kukho amaxesha apho unxunguphalo nomsindo wethu zisenza singxole ngomlomo Kwiimeko esiqhele ukuhamba ngolwandle ngoncumo.
Kule meko, kufanelekile ukukhumbula ukuba SISINGABO abakrwada okanye abakhohlakeleyo.
Xa siphantsi koxinzelelo olunjalo, kulula ukuba senze ngaphambi kokucinga nokwenza okanye ukuthetha izinto ezingafunekiyo nezona zikrwada.
fumana indoda komnye umfazi
Eso sisizathu esihle sokunciphisa abanye xa usiva ukuba ukhutyekisiwe kukuziphatha kwabo krwada. Awusoze wazi ukuba zeziphi iziganeko ezikhoyo ezidlalayo kubomi babanye nangaliphi na ixesha.
3. Ukuziphatha
Akukho zimbini iinkqubo zexabiso kwiintsapho kunye nokukhuliswa okufanayo. Ukuba ukhulele kwikhaya apho amagama arhabaxa ayeqhelekile kwaye kwakungeyonto ingaqhelekanga ukuba izinto ziphoswe ngomsindo, ngokucacileyo ubuya kuyibona loo nto njengokuziphatha okwamkelekileyo.
Kwaye, ewe, inokuba kwaye iya isiba mbi ngakumbi kunaleyo. Ukuhlala emaphethelweni sele kungenelwe ngaphakathi kwaba bantu kwaye, ngenxa yoko, baphendula ngokufanelekileyo xa benomsindo ngabanye.
Aba bantu abayazi nje bhetele, bengakhange bavezwe kuyo nayiphi na enye indlela yokujongana noxinzelelo.
4. Ukuphazamiseka kubuntu
Amava amabi anomsindo kunye nokugcwala ngumntwana njengoko kuchaziwe apha ngasentla kunokukhokelela kuphuhliso lweyona nto iphambili kubuntu kwaye ekugqibeleni ekuziphatheni okujongwa njengokukhohlakeleyo, ukungakhathali, okanye ukungabi nantlonelo.
Akumangalisi ukuba imida eyamkelekileyo ekuhlaleni yokunxibelelana kwabantu ingakhange ibe lukhuni ngexesha leminyaka enokubakho.
Abo baneemeko ezinje ngeBorderline Personality Disorder kunye neNarcissistic Personality Disorder bahlala bebonakala krwada okanye bengakhathaleli ngenxa ukungabikho kovelwano notyekelo lokungahoyi iimvakalelo zabanye.
5. Umahluko ngokwenkcubeko
Kwilizwe lethu elinamasiko ngamasiko, elihlala lincipha, apho sihlala sityikityana nabantu abavela kwamanye amazwe abalawulwa yimilinganiselo eyahlukileyo neyokuziphatha, oku kubaluleke ngakumbi kunokuba sinokucinga.
Oko kucingelwa ukuba kukungakhathali nokuziphatha okungamkelekanga kwinkcubeko ethile kunokukhuthazwa kwenye.
Abantu baseJamani, umzekelo, abanalo uloyiko malunga nokuthetha iingqondo zabo, ngelixa i-Bhritane iya kubetha ijikeleze ityholo ngaphandle kokuthetha into abayicingayo.
KumaBritane, ke, isiJamani esithetha ngokungqalileyo sikrwada kwaye siyathuka, ngelixa amaJamani aya kuthi rhabaxa yindlela yaseBritane.
Unokuthanda (inqaku liyaqhubeka ngezantsi):
- Indlela yokuZimela ngokwakho kwaye ungabi yiDoormat
- Iimpawu zeTelltale zomntu okrakra (kunye nendlela yokuphatha enye)
- Kutheni abanye abantu bengaxolisi okanye bavume ukuba baphosisile
- Imvo yelungelo: 5 Iimpawu eziCacileyo zomntu omnye
- I-Psychology yoqikelelo: I-8 Imvakalelo esiDlulisela kwabanye
6. 'Ubunzima beBongo' obubangelwa yiTekhnoloji engaphezulu
Ngaphandle kwamathandabuzo, ukunyuka ngokukhawuleza kwedatha yedijithali kunye netekhnoloji kukhokelele ekunyukeni okubonakalayo kwinqanaba lobomi.
Ukuzonwabisa ngeefowuni eziphathwayo , Ukunyanzelwa kunye no-oh-kunzima-ukungahoyi iimfuno zosasazo lwasentlalweni, kunye nokuqhuma kolwazi kwi-Intanethi kushiya abantu beqhushumbe neemfuno eziqhubekayo kwingqwalaselo yabo ezazingekho kangako kwiminyaka eli-15 eyadlulayo.
Lo msebenzi ungagungqiyo, kunye nemfuno engxamisekileyo yenyathelo elikhawulezileyo, unokudala 'uxinzelelo lobuchopho' (hayi olona nyango lonyango!), kukhokelela kuxinzelelo kunye noxinzelelo, kwaye, emva koko, kukubi kunye nokuziphatha okukhohlakeleyo.
Abantu bayasindwa ngumthwalo kwaye babonakalise imbeko kwisibingelelo setekhnoloji.
7. Ukungakhuli ngokweemvakalelo kunye nobukrelekrele boMvakalelo obuPhantsi
Abanye abantu, nangasiphi na isizathu, basenokuba abakakhuli ngokwasemoyeni. Mhlawumbi soze.
Bazi engenangqondo ngokweemvakalelo . Xa besenza ngendlela ebonzakalisa abanye, benza njalo, ngokuyinxenye, kuba baswele ulwazi lokujonga ifuthe lezenzo zabo.
Kuba bengayiqondi indlela abaziphethe ngayo njengonzakalisayo, abasiboni isizathu sokuba bangabandakanyeki kuyo. Abakhange bavavanywe ngengqondo ukuze babanqande ekwenzeni izinto ezinjalo.
Iingcebiso zokujamelana nokuziphatha okuluhlaza
Ukuba kwaye xa ujongene nomntu owenza ngendlela ekhohlakeleyo okanye engenantlonipho, kuya kufuneka wenze ntoni?
1. Zama ukukwenza okucoca ngeRudeness
Zikhumbuze ukuba kunokubakho okungaphezulu kokungakhathali okucacileyo okuqhubekayo kunye nokucoca impendulo yakho.
Nokuba isizathu sikwimvakalelo, intlalontle, ezengqondo, okanye inkcubeko, kuyakubakho into ethile ebangela intshabalalo okanye othe indlela oziphatha ngayo uyifumana ikwenzakalisa okanye ingamkelekanga.
Nokuba yeyiphi na imicimbi ebangela ukuba uziphathe kakuhle - nayiphi na kwezi zingasentla okanye yonke eminye - awunakulawula iimeko ezenzeka kwisenzo. Kodwa ungayilawula indlela ophendula ngayo.
Mbini. Musa ukuthatha izinto ngobuqu
Kulula kakhulu ukucaphuka ngamagqabaza akrwada, ngakumbi ukuba ayangobuqu.
Uya kunikezela amazwi abo abuhlungu engenamandla, nangona, ukuba ukhetha ukubaphatha njengengxaki yabo, hayi eyakho. Khumbula ukuba unokukhetha ngendlela ophendula ngayo kwaye uphendule ngokungafaniyo kunqabile ukuba ibe yeyona mpendulo ilungileyo.
wenzeni ngosuku lokuzalwa kwakhe
3. Fumana Isizathu
Thatha ixesha ufumanise ukuba yintoni ebangele ukuba krwada. Mhlawumbi yinto enye kwaye banayo nje 'enye yezo ntsuku' okanye bayatyhalwa ixesha lokuba isimilo sikhutshiwe ngaphandle kwenxaki.
Ngokuqinisekileyo abanakuqonda nokuba babekrwada. Awuyi kwazi de ubuze kwaye impendulo inokukumangalisa!
4. Mka kude
Zama ukuthintela impendulo yakho yemvelo kwaye uyeke ukuziphindezela. Iimpazamo ezimbini azenzi lungelo, kwaye ayizukunceda mntu ukuba uyazivumela ukuba uphendule ngendlela efanayo.
Ukuzisusa kwimeko enzima yeyona ndlela isebenzayo ukunqanda ukuba kumgca wokudubula ngokuziphatha okukhohlakeleyo kumntu ofanayo.
Nokuba basathetha nawe, vele uhambe!
Awunanto uza kuphulukana nayo ukuba ungowasemzini, kuba ngekhe uphinde udibane nabo.
Ukuba ngaba bangumhlobo okanye umntu osebenza naye, kungekudala baya kufumana umyalezo wokuba krwada kuwe akunantsingiselo kwaye akukho nto bayiphumezayo (kwaye mhlawumbi oko kuya kubenza babe nobuhle kwixesha elizayo).
Nokuba yeyiphi indlela, uya kugcina umgangatho ophakamileyo wokuziphatha.
5. Nika ingcinga ethile ngomahluko kwinkcubeko
Sukucinga ngokuzenzekelayo ukuba umntu okucaphukisile nje kukuziphatha kwabo okukhohlakeleyo okanye okunyelisayo wabelana ngemilinganiselo yakho yenkcubeko.
Ukuba uyaqonda ukuba benza nje into eziza ngokwendalo kubo, nokuba ingakubhabha kangakanani, uyakufumanisa kulula ukunyamezela isimilo.
Khumbula ukuba ngokungazi unokuba netyala lokucaphukisa abantu abavela kwezinye iinkcubeko ngokwenza ngendlela ocinga ukuba iqhelekile.
6. Melana Nobukrwada Ngobubele
Nangona ihlala iphikisana, enye yeendlela ezilungileyo zokuphelisa ukuba krwada kukuba hlala uluncedo kwaye unobuhlobo. Oku kunika omnye umntu ithuba lokuzola kunye nokulungisa indlela abaziphethe ngayo.
7. Musa ukuqhubela phambili Ukonakala kobukrwada
Sukuvumela isenzo esingacingeliyo okanye isenzo esikhohlakeleyo okanye amazwi abanye abonakalise usuku lwakho kwaye abangele ukuba uqhubeke nomjikelo njengoko ungxolisa abanye.
Zama ukuthatha umoya ophefumlayo, khumbula ukuba iingxaki zalo mntu ayiloxanduva lwakho, kwaye ujongane nosuku ngoncumo. Mhlawumbi unakho, ngendlela encinci, ukuguqula umjikelo kwaye usasaze uvuyo endaweni yoko!
Ukoyiswa ziimeko
Inyaniso eyonwabisayo ngabantu kukuba uninzi ngabantu abahloniphekileyo abathi ngamanye amaxesha boyiswe ziimeko kangangokuba bathethe phandle bathathe ukukhathazeka kwabo kumaqela amsulwa.
Kuyinto ngombulelo kunqabile kakhulu ukufumana umntu okrwada ngenxa nje yayo. Bephandle phaya, ngokuqinisekileyo, kodwa ayisiyonto iqhelekileyo kwaye nabo bantu kunokwenzeka ukuba babandezeleke okanye basenokubethwa ngumvandedwa okanye okunye.
njani ungathandani
Ukujongana nokungakhathali kunye nokuthetha abantu kufuna imithwalo yamabhakethi ovelwano kunye nomonde. Oku kunokuvakala ngathi luxanduva lokutshintsha ubuxoki kuwe hayi omnye umntu.
Cinga, nangona kunjalo, into enokukhetha kuyo: phendula ngendlela ekrwada kwaye ubanike esona sizathu sokuba benze okufanayo nakuwe kwixa elizayo. Kwaye emva koko siphinde sabuyela kolo kratshi kwakhona ...
YIBA NABANTU
Ngokubanzi, ndimele ndivume ukuba ndivela 'kwimilinganiselo eyenza indoda' (kunye nomfazi, ngokwemvelo) isikolo sokucinga. Ungayibeka phantsi iminyaka yam kunye nokukhula kwam kwaye ngekhe uphosise!
Ndiyakholelwa ngokwenyani, nangona kunjalo, ukuba uluntu lungaqhubeka nokuphila ngolonwabo kwiplanethi yethu enabantu abaninzi ukuba uninzi lwabantu baphathana ngobubele, ngentlonipho, nangemfesane.
Isalathiso sisegameni: Uhlobo lomntu .
Ke, ngelixa kuya kuhlala kukho abantu abakhohlakeleyo, abakrwada, kunye nabangahloniphiyo, ingcebiso yam kukugcina indawo ephakamileyo yokuziphatha kwaye ungaqhubeki nomjikelo wobukrwada ngokuvumela isimilo sabo esithukayo sichaphazele indlela onxibelelana ngayo nabanye.
