Ukunyaniseka, bambalwa kakhulu abantu abayithandayo into yokuba bayavuma ukwenza into ephosakeleyo.
Akukho kukhawuleza kwe-dopamine okuhamba noxolisa.
Akukho nzulu, ucoceko lweemvakalelo ngokuthi 'bendingalunganga.'
Ngokuqinisekileyo akukho siqinisekiso sokuba lowo uxolayo uza kulwamkela uxolo.
Akumangalisi ke ngoko, ukuba abantu abaninzi beya kuthi ngokungagungqiyo bangavumi ukuxolisa okanye bavume ukuba babenetyala.
Nazi izizathu ezi-8 zokuba kutheni abantu bemathidala ukuthi uxolo.
1. Bayakoyika Ukujongwa Njengababuthathaka
Kwinto ethatha inkalipho engaka ukuyenza njengokuvuma okungalunganga okanye ukuxolisa, intlalo yasentshona ichitha ixesha elininzi ifakela ubuthathaka kwisenzo.
'Yima umhlaba wakho, ungabuyeli emva, ungabi yipunk' zimbalwa zezinto ezinetyhefu onokuyiva.
Okwangoku, ukucela uxolo akufani nokuthobela omnye, okanye ukuziva ubeka phambili, isidingo esithe rhoqo sokukhusela ithenda kabani.
Ukuvuma ukuba wenze into embi komnye umntu kuthatha ukuba nemfesane kunye nentlonipho eyaneleyo ngawe kunye nabanye ebomini bakho ukuze uvume ukuba ubathemba ukuba ungubani.
Ukuzithemba okunjalo akufuneki kubonwe njengobuthathaka.
2. Bayayoyika Ukuziphindezela
Abanye abantu bahlala ngaphakathi kwamehlo apho kukho nakuphi na ukungalunganga abakwamkelayo kuya kuthi - baziva- ngokuqinisekileyo kuya kuphinda kubuyelwe kubo.
Ke into yokugqibela abafuna ukuyenza kukuzivulela ukhetho olunje.
Aba ngabantu abangenayo ncam ndafunda ukuthembela kwabanye .
wwe 2017 uhlawule ngeshedyuli yokujonga nganye
Enye indlela yokujongana nazo kukuseta imida eqinileyo ngeenxa zonke imida yakho, oko kukuthi, musa ukuvumela ukuba basondele kakhulu kwizinto ezingundoqo ezibaluleke kuwe ukuba baya kuba nako ukukucaphukisa.
Umntu angathemba ukuba singanakho ukufumana olu hlobo lomntu ukuba afunde ukuthembela, kodwa ngaphandle kokuba sinento yokulawula ingonyama isebenzisa amagqabi, uhambo lwabo lokuthemba, ukunyaniseka, kunye nokuba sesichengeni kuya kuba yinto ende, enzima.
3. Boyika Ukuphulukana Nomntu
Kukho ingcinga egqwethekileyo ekucingeni, 'Ndikonzakalisile, kodwa ukulungisa izinto kuya kukwenzakalisa ngakumbi de uye kumka.'
Olunye loloyiko olubi kakhulu emva kokungafuni ukuxolisa okanye ukuvuma into ephosakeleyo yingcinga yokulahleka komntu okanye into ngenxa yayo.
Olu loyiko luphazamisa abantu abafuna ukuqinisekiswa rhoqo, kwaye banokusingathwa ngokuvuleleka nangokunyaniseka kangangoko.
Khokela ngomzekelo. Ukuba bayabona ukuba asikazukuhlala kwiimpazamo zethu, banokuvuma ngokulula eyabo.
4. Bayoyika Ukungafezeki
Umntu uyazibuza ukuba ubomi bungoyiki kangakanani ukuba wonke umntu angavuka ntsasa nganye athathe umzuzwana athi kuye, 'Ndingumntu.'
Sonke siyazenza iimpazamo. Sonke senza izigqibo ezingekho mgangathweni. Sonke senza izinto esinokungazenzi emva kokubona.
Ukukwazi ukuyibona loo nto kunye nokusebenza ukulungisa iimpazamo zethu kufuna ubabalo nemfesane.
Abo baziva bengenakuze babonwe njengabangaphantsi 'kokugqibeleleyo' bafihla uloyiko kwaye ukungazithembi abenzi nto ngaphandle kokusebenzela ukuqhuba umda phakathi kwabo nabanye.
Ukwamkelwa kukhulu kwaba bantu. Bancede ngokubazisa ukuba bayathandwa. Bakhumbuze ngobumnene ukuba iimpazamo azinakuphepheka, kwaye nokuba zilungile ukuxoka kwabanye ungumntu njengomoya ophefumlayo.
Ukuba bayazi ukuba awuyi kubangxolisa ngenxa yeempazamo zeendlela zabo, banokukulungela ngakumbi ukuvuma ukuba babenempazamo.
Unokuthanda (inqaku liyaqhubeka ngezantsi):
- Ungayeka njani ukubaleka kude neengxaki zakho kwaye ujongane nesisombululo esinesibindi
- Iindlela ezili-9 zokujongana nokuNgcatshiswa kunye nokuPhiliswa kwiNtlungu
- Iimpawu zokuziphatha ezi-9 ezinokuthi ziqhubele abahlobo bakho kude
- Uyiyeka Njani Ixesha Elidlulileyo Uyeke Ukuvula Amanxeba Endala
- Izizathu ezisi-8 zokuba abanye abantu benqabe ukuba babe ngabantu abadala
- Kutheni Abanye Abantu Bekhohlakele Kangaka, Bekrwada, Bengenantlonelo Kwabanye?
5. Bayayonwabela Isiphithiphithi
Kukho abo bathi, ngenxa yezizathu zabo ezigqwethekileyo, bakonwabele ukongamela usizi.
Ukubamba nokungalungisi kubondle. AmaNarcissist enza ngalo lonke ixesha. Masochists nabo.
Uza kujongana njani nomntu onenjongo yokudala iimeko ezifuna ukuxolisa kwabo?
Elula: umntu akenzi.
ukuvavanya njani ukuba intombazana iyakuthanda
Njengabo bangakhange bafunde ukuthemba abanye, kububulumko ukugcina imida ngokuchasene naba bantu.
Ngokusebenzayo kuba baya kujonga iintanda kunye nemingxunya kuzo zonke iindonga kwaye batyibilike ngokukhawuleza kangangokuba inqwaba yedrama abazimisele ukuyikhuphela iya kukubamba ungalindelanga.
Ukuba iinkosi ezinje ngesiphithiphithi zinokukhohlisa ukuba ucele uxolo yabo Ukwenza okungalunganga, banelisekile kukuziva ukuba bazuze umvuzo wabo weemvakalelo wosuku.
6. Bayaziwa
Umntu angabanjwa ngeebhulukhwe ezantsi, isandla ngejagi yecookie, ukukopela iphepha elifakwe ebunzi, kunye nesazisi esingeyonyani sibabhengeza njengoPopu Clemente- kwaye ngandlela thile bakwazi ukuba sisidenge kwizibane zangaphambili xa kufikwa ekubizeni iimpazamo zabo. .
Wenze ntoni nomntu ongamlibalanga? Inzululwazi kusafuneka ikufumanise oko.
Kuyavunywa, baninzi abantu abahleli ngokwentlalontle okanye abahlala kumboniso, kwaye ngenxa yoko baphoswa bubuchule bokufumana iindlela zentlalo ezibonakala ngokulula kuluntu oluninzi, kodwa ukungazihoyi kunokuba nzulu kunoko.
Ingozi yokungakhohlwa kukuba inokuba yimikhwa efundwayo, ekhusela ikhusele umfundi, isenza kube nzima njengedayimani ukugqobhoza.
Bazocela uxolo ukuba imvakalelo yokuziva unetyala ifumana ukukhuthazwa okwaneleyo ngaphandle, kodwa ungalindeli ukuba oku kuza kuza ngokukhawuleza okanye ngaphandle kokukhangela kwinqanaba lakho.
7. Banenkani
Ukuba neenkani Yindibaniselwano yazo zonke iziphene zangaphambili.
Ngaba uJohn cena unabantwana
Abantu abaneenkani bayazi ngezikhundla zabo, bayazi ukuba netyala, bayayazi intlungu yabanye, kwaye bayazi ukuba ukuxolisa okanye ukuvuma isenzo esingalunganga kunokuthatha imeko ngokushushu ukuyinyamezela.
KODWA, bayazithintela ekwenzeni oko ngomgaqo, nokuba ungowuphi na lo mthetho-siseko.
Eyona ndlela yokufumana umntu oneenkani ukuba acele uxolo ngokungabavumeli ukuba benze ukuthanda kwabo. Tsalela umnxeba kwabo. Qinani kwimfuno yesisombululo.
Xa bebona ukuba imigaqo-nkqubo yabo yokulondolozwa ayithethi nto, baya kuthi-nangona bekhalaza-beze.
8. Abafuni Ukuya Kuqala
Amathuba kukuba sonke sinaye lo mntu ebomini bethu owasicaphukisayo, kwaye thina, bona, kunye nawo onke amaqela babesazi ukuba ukuxolisa kolunye uhlobo kwakuyimfuneko.
Uninzi lwethu luya kuba lolokuqala ukunikela ngehlazo kwisebe lomnquma, kukhululeka kubo bonke ababandakanyekayo.
Kodwa kukho abo bayalayo ukuqala inkqubo yokuphilisa.
Abanye baya kulishiya ithuba lokuxolisa emva elinye iqela linayo.
Ungamelana njani nabantu abanjalo ngaphandle kokuba nomsindo okanye usike amakhonkco ngokupheleleyo?
Bakhokele ngokuqhutywa ngobunono.
Ukubuza 'Ingaba ubuzakuthetha into?' Ngexesha elipholileyo, umzuzu omsulwa uyindlela elungileyo yokubenza bakhubeke ukuze balungise imeko, kuba uxolo lusezingqondweni zabo, alusoze lubekho.
Enye indlela elungileyo yokujongana nolu hlobo kukujongana nokungaxolisi / intloko yokwamkelwa.
'Kufuneka sithethe,' okanye umahluko wayo, ubazise ukuba uthetha ishishini. Ijolisa ezingqondweni zabo kwaye ithintele nakuphi na ukulibaziseka okanye ukuphazamiseka.
