Ithemba. Lelinye lawona matye esiseko abalulekileyo kubo bonke ubudlelwane babantu.
Ayinamsebenzi nokuba obobudlelwane bunzulu buqu okanye busondele, nokuba ngaba usebenza naye, umphathi, okanye umntu onqwenela ukwenza naye ishishini.
Akukho nto ibalulekileyo kwimpumelelo yobudlelwane njengokuthenjwa.
Njengoko uStephen Covey, usomashishini, umbhali othengisa kakhulu, kunye notitshala wabhala:
umyeni wam unomsindo kwaye uyacaphuka ngalo lonke ixesha
Ukuthembana yiglue yobomi. Sesona sithako sibaluleke kakhulu kunxibelelwano olusebenzayo. Ngumgaqo osisiseko obambe lonke ubudlelwane.
Ngenxa yokuba ukuthembana kubaluleke kakhulu ekusindeni kwethu, yenye yezibophelelo zokuqala zeemvakalelo esizikhulisayo emva kokuzalwa.
Iingcali zengqondo zisixelela loo nto sicwangciselwe ukuba sikhangele indlela yokuziphatha engaguquguqukiyo Ukusuka kwabo basijikelezileyo ukusinceda ukuba siqonde ilizwe lesiphithiphithi esizalelwe kulo.
Oku akupheleli nje ekufuneni ukuqhelana nentuthuzelo. Esi sisixhobo sokusinda-esendele nzulu kwingqondo yomntu.
Ukuzithemba esikuphuhlisayo kubumba ubudlelwane bethu ukusuka kwinqanaba lokuqala.
Njengokuba singenakuzinceda njengezintsana, kufuneka sithembele ukuze siphile.
Endleleni, asifundanga nje kuphela ukubaluleka kokuthembela, kodwa nendlela yokufumana oko sikufunayo ngokuqinisekisa abanye ukuba basithembe.
Ngethuba nje ukuba ukuthembela kwindlela ezimbini-ukuba siyathemba kwaye sithembekile ekubuyiseni-ubudlelwane bethu buyachuma.
Kodwa xa inkolelo yethu yokuthembeka kwabanye yonakele besebancinci, ukuzithemba okuyimfuneko kwixabiso lokuthembela kulahlekile.
Ukuba ukuthembana akukho kule minyaka yokufunda, isithuba sizaliswa kukungaqiniseki, amathandabuzo kunye nokungangqinelani okuhlala kuhlala kubudala.
Umonakalo ugxunyekwe nzulu kangangokuba iindlela zokuphelisa ziya kuphuhla ezenza kube nzima kwaba bantu ukuba bathembe abanye.
Kwaye amaxesha ngamaxesha, bona, abanakuthenjwa.
Nje ukuba iipateni zokuziphatha ezingathembekanga zikhule, kunzima ukuzaphula.
Uninzi lwabantu abanjalo abanakuze bathembeke, nangona abanye beya kufunda ukufihla indalo yabo yenkohliso ngokukuko.
Kuphela kuxa bephule ukuthembela kwakho apho imibala yabo yokwenyani ikhanya ngayo, kodwa umonakalo uya kube sele wenzekile.
Abanye, nangona kunjalo, baya kubonisa iipatheni ezithile zokuziphatha ezichazwe apha ngezantsi.
Xa usazi, usenokukwazi ukuzinqanda ungonzakali.
Kukho intetho ehamba into efana nale: 'Ungathembi nto ngaphandle kokuqonda kwakho. Intu yakho iya kukuxelela ukuba ngubani omele umthembe. ”
Kuya kuba kuhle ukuba oku bekuhlala kunjalo, kodwa, enyanisweni, kunzima ngakumbi kunoko.
Ngelixa thina bantu silukhuni-nzima ukuba sithembele okanye hayi, uninzi lwethu lunokuxolela indalo okanye ezinye izizathu ezenza ukuba sityekele ekungazinikelweni iimpendulo zethu zesisu.
indlela yokuyeka kwaye uthembele kubudlelwane
Kwaye emva koko sinyanzelwa ukuba sivune iziphumo, ezinokuthi zihlala zimbi.
Ke, ziziphi iimpawu zokuziphatha ekufuneka ujonge kuzo umntu ongathembekanga?
Ukwazi imiqondiso kungasinceda siphendule impendulo yethu engathandekiyo okanye kusinike isiqhulo xa singaqinisekanga nokuba simfunda ngokuchanekileyo umntu.
Iimpawu ezili-10 zokungathembeki
Nazi iimpawu zokuxela ekufuneka ujonge umntu ongakufanelekeli ukuthemba:
1. Bajongene ebusweni.
Sonke siye safumana isabelo sethu esifanelekileyo solu hlobo lokuziphatha.
Xa umntu ekunye nawe, baya kuba mnandi njengepayi. Kodwa xa umva wakho ujikile, abayi kucinga kabini ngokugxeka into oyenzayo nayithethayo.
Abayi kubambelela ekwabelaneni nabuphi na ubunyulu behlebo malunga nawe, nokuba.
Ngokukhawuleza xa ufumanisa olu hlobo lokuziphatha, lixesha lokwenza ukuphuma okubukhali kubudlelwane ukuzikhusela.
2. Bakufulathela esidlangalaleni.
Xa uwedwa okanye kwiimeko ezingaqhelekanga ngolu hlobo lomntu, uyakufumanisa ukuba banobuhlobo kwaye kuyabonakala ukuba bayayonwabela inkampani yakho.
Ngokwahlukileyo, xa uzifumana uphakathi kwesihlwele sabo okanye phakathi kwabantu abazama ukubancoma, abayi kukunika ixesha losuku.
Baza kusebenza ngokungathi awukhe wadibana.
Olu hlobo lokuziphatha lubonisa ukuba bazama ukufumana into kuwe ngandlela thile okanye enye.
Umdla wabo kuwe uphezulu.
Xa befumene le nto bayifunayo, okanye kucacile kubo ukuba abazukuphumelela ukuyifumana, baya kukuwisa ngentliziyo.
3. Bayasokola ukuba novelwano.
Ukungabikho kovelwano kubalulekile ukuba umntu abe nakho ukukhohlisa okanye ukwenzakalisa abanye abantu.
Into enomdla kukuba, uninzi lwabantu olungathembekanga luswele le mvakalelo iphambili.
Umntu onovelwano ngekhe azi esazi ukuba ubangela iintlungu kwabanye kuba bayakwazi ukuziva le ntlungu ngokwabo.
Ukubanakho ukuba novelwano, ke, kusebenza njengokuqhekeka kwindlela yokuziphatha eyenzakalisayo.
Ukuba umntu uyakwazi ukuhlaba umntu ngasemva okanye ukungcatsha ukuzithemba, abanako ukuba novelwano.
Abathathi xanduva ngomonakalo, ukwenzakala, okanye ukuphazamiseka abakubangela kwabanye.
Okona kubi ngaphezu kwako konke, umntu ongenalo uvelwano ngenene akazi nokuba bayasilela, kuba banokubona izinto ngokwazo.
Abanye abantu, nangona kunjalo, bayakwazi ukulingisa uvelwano kwisiseko esikhethiweyo- ngesiqhelo xa beme ukuze bafumane into.
Oku kwenza ukuba umkhwa ube nzima ukuwubona.
Ngokujonga indlela ababaphatha ngayo abo banxibelelana nabo, ngakumbi abo bangekhe bafumane nto kubo njengeweyitala okanye isicoci, imeko yabo yokwenyani iza kutyhilwa kungekudala.
Ukubonisa ukunqongophala kovelwano ngokuqinisekileyo kumele kuphakamise iflegi ebomvu ngokubhekisele ekuthembekeni komntu.
4. Bophula imfihlo.
Uninzi lwethu luneenkumbulo zobuntwana zokufunga umhlobo osenyongweni emfihlakalweni, kuphela ukuba baphalaze iimbotyi kwimizuzu kamva.
Sihlala sifunda kwiimpazamo zethu kwaye silungisa iindlela zethu, siqonda ukuba okuyimfihlo, xa kuceliwe kwaye kuvunyelwene ngako, kungcwele.
Umntu ohambela ebudaleni engakhange afunde ubugcisa bokugcina imfihlo ngokuqinisekileyo akanakuthenjwa.
Ukuba umntu unomdla wokwabelana nabanye ngemfihlo zomnye umntu, unokuqiniseka ngokungathembeki kwabo.
Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, bayangcatsha ukuthembela komnye umntu ngokukuxelela.
Iimfihlelo zakho aziyi kuphathwa ngembeko.
ukuba ulunge kakhulu kunokukwenzakalisa
Ewe, ukuba ubaxelele ulwazi lwabucala, kukho onke amathuba okuba olu sele lulwazi loluntu.
Abantu abangathembekanga bayalivuyela ithuba lokwabelana ngee-nuggets zolwazi eziye zaxelelwa ngokuzithemba.
Umqhubi wale ndlela yokuziphatha yinkolelo yabo yokuba iya kunyusa ukuthandwa kwabo kwaye ibonakalise unxibelelwano lwabo olusondeleyo nabanye.
Apho kungekho ntlonelo ngemfihlo, akukho themba lokuthenjwa.
Olunye ufundo olubalulekileyo lokuthenjwa (inqaku liyaqhubeka ngezantsi):
- Iimpawu ze-3 zeMicimbi yokuThembela kunye nendlela yokufumana ngaphezulu kwazo
- Iimpawu zeTelltale Uxokisiwe
- Ungayakha njani kwakhona kwaye uphinde ufumane iTrust emva kokuXoka kwiQabane lakho
- Ungamthemba Njani kwakhona: Ukufunda ukuvumela umntu ukuba abekho ngaphandle kwentlungu edlulileyo
- Indlela yokujongana naBantu abaThetha ngaWe emva kwakho
- Kutheni ukuthembeka kubaluleke kakhulu ebomini (+ Indlela yokubonisa eyakho)
5. Basebenzisa kakubi ‘igunya’ labo phezu kwakho.
Nje ukuba bakuthembe kwaye banolwazi oluthile malunga nawe, umntu angaqala alusebenzise ukukulawula.
Rhoqo olu hlobo lokuziphatha luqala msulwa ngokwaneleyo.
Baya kuba mnandi kuwe, nangona kungaphezulu kokukhohlisa.
Ukuba umamela umoya wakho, unokuziva ngathi kukho into engalunganga malunga nolwalamano.
Ngexesha, impendulo yakho yamathumbu iya kungqineka ichanekile.
Gcina ujonge indlela abanxibelelana ngayo nabanye. Yenza konke okusemandleni akho ukulandela ubuchule bakho kwaye ubaleke ngaphambi kokuba wenzakaliswe kukusetyenziswa gwenxa kwentembeko yakho.
6. Ziyathandeka ngokugqithileyo.
Kuhlala kumnandi ukudibana nabantu abanobuhlobo nabavulekileyo.
Kodwa kukho umhlaba wonke umahluko phakathi kwalonto nomntu obonakala ngathi iswekile kakhulu kwaye uyathandeka.
Ukuziphatha kwabo kunokubangela urhano lwakho olunomdla ngaphandle kobuhlobo babo.
Ngaphantsi kwento entle yangaphandle entle ihlala isala ngokurhabaxa, okuya kubonakala kungekudala okanye kamva.
Ukuba uhlalutya okwenzekayo, uyakuqaphela ukuba bahlala befuna ukwazi okungakumbi ngawe, kodwa bangaze baveze okuninzi malunga nabo.
Ukutshintshiselana okuqhelekileyo kolwazi phakathi kwabahlobo abatsha okanye abahlobo akwenzeki.
Kungekudala okanye kamva, uya kuyifumana i-ajenda yabo yokwenyani, kodwa ngelo xesha unokufumanisa ukuba akukho lula ukuzikhupha kumaqhina abo.
7. Bayatshintshatshintsha.
Ukungakwazi ukwenza izigqibo kuhluke kakhulu kukungaguquguquki.
Masijongane nayo, uninzi lwethu alunazigqibo xa kufikwa kwizinto ezingenamsebenzi njengokukhetha kwimenyu eneendlela ezininzi zokulinga.
Ewe, sonke siyazitshintsha iingqondo zethu amaxesha ngamaxesha, ngamanye amaxesha nakwimicimbi ebalulekileyo.
Umahluko kubantu abangaguqukiyo kukuba awusoze uthembe naziphi na izigqibo zabo, nokuba ubaluleke kangakanani umcimbi lowo oqwalaselwayo.
Ziya kuflip kunye nokuphaphazela phakathi kweendlela ezahlukeneyo zokhetho.
Imeko yabo yeemvakalelo inokutshintsha kwaye iziphumo zezigqibo zabo zibonisa imeko yokungangqinelani.
Ayisiyiyo loo nto kuphela, umntu oguqukayo uya kwenza izithembiso ngokukhawuleza azisole aze emva koko arhoxe.
Iimvakalelo zabo ezingalunganga zithetha ukuba abanakuze baqiniseke ngezizathu zezigqibo abazenzayo.
Banokuphenjelelwa zizinto zangaphandle kunokuba bathobele ikhampasi yabo yangaphakathi. Kungenxa yokuba ayinamandla ngokwaneleyo ukubakhokela njengoko kufanelekile.
Ayisiyonto itshintshatshintshayo kwisinye ebonisa ukuba umntu akathembekanga.
Imeko yeemvakalelo eguquguqukayo ekhokelela kutshintsho oluqhubekayo lwengqondo okanye ukungakwazi ukwenza isigqibo kwaye unamathele kuyo, nangona kunjalo, kuthetha ukuba akukho ankile ungabeka kuyo ithemba lakho.
I-randy orton iphumelele ingxolo yasebukhosini
8. Bayasilela ekufezekiseni izibophelelo.
Ukulibaziseka yenye yezona zikhombisi zicacileyo zokuba umntu akanantlonelo ngexabiso lexesha lakho.
Umntu othembekileyo uya kwenza umgudu wokufika ngexesha ngenxa yentlonipho.
Ngamanye amaxesha ukulibaziseka akunakuphepheka, kodwa ukwenza umnxeba ngokukhawuleza okanye ukuthumela umyalezo omfutshane yinto ebonakalayo yokwenza xa isenzeka.
Nangona kunjalo, ukuba umntu uhlala ebonakala emva kwexesha ngaphandle kokwenza iinzame zokukwazisa ukuba bayalibazisa, okanye okona kubi kakhulu- ukusilela ukuza kwaphela, luphawu olucacileyo lokuba abanakuthenjwa ukuzalisekisa izibophelelo zabo. .
Ukuba bayatshintsha okanye bayarhoxisa izicwangciso ngokuwa komnqwazi ngaphandle kokwazisa abanye, ngokucacileyo abaliqondi ixabiso lelinye ixesha labantu.
Ababoni ukuba izenzo zabo zinempembelelo kwabanye, okanye abakhathali.
Xa oku kusenzeka kwishishini, kukungaziphathi kakuhle okuza kujongela phantsi nayiphi na intembeko.
Phakathi kwabahlobo, kuya kucaca ngokukhawuleza ukuba lo mntu akanakubalwa.
9. Babonisa imikhwa ye-narcissistic.
I-narcissist inokubona kuphela ubomi ngokwembono yabo.
Akukho nto ibaluleke ngaphezu kwabo kwaye indima yomnye umntu kukuthobela kubo.
Baziinkosi ze ukudlala umdlalo osolwayo kunye nokuqinisekisa ukuba abanye bathatha i-rap ngenxa yeempazamo abazenzileyo kodwa abasokuze babenakho ukuzimela.
Ukusuka kwimbono yabo egocentric, isiphoso siya kuhlala silele komnye umntu.
Akunzima ukubona ukuba kutheni umntu ebonisa imiqondiso yokuba yi-narcissist ayikufanelanga ukuthembela kuwe.
10. Baye ukuxoka kubo .
Kuhlala kunonxibelelwano olubalulekileyo phakathi kwendlela umntu ongathembekanga azibona ngayo kunye nenyani.
Banokwenza, umzekelo, bazibonakalise ngathi bathule kwaye bathanda uxolo. Nangona kunjalo indlela abaziphethe ngayo inokubatyhila ukuba banomlomo omkhulu kwaye bajongana.
Ngokucacileyo, ngenxa yezizathu ezintsonkothileyo abaziqondayo kuphela, bazama ukwenza umbono ohambelana neminqweno yabo. Kuphela, ayinalo unxibelelwano nenyani.
Ukungangqinelani phakathi kwamagama abo kunye nokuziphatha kwabo kunokuba yinto ebonakalayo.
Ukuqhawulwa okunjalo kufuneka kusete ezo ntsimbi zokungathembeki zikhalela phezulu.
Ukusonga phezulu.
Ewe kunjalo, uninzi lwethu lubonisa ubuncinci ezi ntlobo zokuziphatha amaxesha ngamaxesha.
Singabantu kuphela, emva kwayo yonke loo nto.
Kodwa ukuba ubona imiqondiso emibini okanye engaguquguqukiyo emntwini, akunakulindeleka ukuba uyithembe.
Ekugqibeleni, elona cebiso lililo kukuzithemba ngemvelo yakho kuba zihlala zilungile kwaye injongo yazo kukukukhusela engozini.
Ukuba uziva ukuba kukho into engekhoyo ngomntu kwaye intuition yakho ikuxelela ukuba ungabathembi, impendulo yakho yemvelo mhlawumbi ichanekile.
matt "rosey" anoa'i
Kodwa ukugcina le miqondiso yesilumkiso sokungathembeki engqondweni kunokukunika isiseko esifanelekileyo kwi-intuition yakho kwaye sikukhusele ekwenzakaleni.
