Ngaba ukrokrela abantu abahle kakhulu?
Ngaba uqinisekile ukuba kuninzi ngaphezu kokubonwa ngamehlo?
Unokuba unyanisile…
Ukususela ebuntwaneni bokuqala, uninzi lwethu luxinekile ngumyalezo wokuba kufuneka sibaphathe kakuhle abanye abantu. Ngokubanzi, le yinto elungileyo, njengoko ikhuthaza abantwana ukuba bangabi krwada kwaye babe nobulali, babe nemfesane, kwaye babe nesisa, kodwa inokuvelisa umthwalo opheleleyo wokuziphatha okungafanelekanga.
Ngamanye amaxesha ubumnandi bunokuthathwa buhambe kakhulu, kwaye xa bukhona, zininzi izizathu ezifanelekileyo zokulumka:
1. Abantu abanyanzelisa ukuba baNice kunqabile Ngaba
'Ndingumntu olunge kakhulu!' = isikhombisi esikhawulezileyo sokuba usuke ubaleke ungaze ubuye umva.
Ngokusisiseko, abantu kunqabile ukuba babange ukuba banjani, kwaye abo bagcina ukuba bayindlela ethile bahlala behlawulisa ngento engeyiyo.
Inenekazi akufuneki lazise ukuba ungubani ungatsho nje ngokuziphatha kwalo. Kuyafana nakumntu olungileyo izenzo zabo ziya kuthetha kakhulu ukuba bangobani, ke akukho mfuneko yokuba bayiphindaphinde ngalo lonke ithuba.
Ngaphandle koko, kunokwenzeka ukuba umntu olunge ngokugqithisileyo azi kakuhle ukuba bayakhohlisa, kodwa bazama ngamandla ukubonisa enye into. Umntu onjalo noncumo olunqabileyo ngamanye amaxesha unokujika abe yibhoyila ye-bunny efihlakeleyo.
Okanye, banokuba…
2. UMartyr Complex
Eyaziwa nangokuthi ngumfeli-nkolo / ixhoba, esi sisifo esichaphazela abantu abaninzi kunokuba unokuqonda, kwaye lixesha lokuqhushumba.
Abantu abanezakhiwo zokufela ukholo bazincama ngokwabo ukonwaba, impilo kunye nokuba sempilweni ukukhathalela abanye, ngelixa bezala ingqumbo nengqumbo phantsi komhlaba.
Bagcina i-façade yokungazicingeli kunye nobukhoboka, bebeka iimfuno zabanye abantu phambili kunezabo, kwaye bafuna ukunyanzeliswa ngoxabiso kunye nokudumisa indlela abaziphethe ngayo.
Ukuba abafumani ezi mbasa, bafumana Ukuba nomsindo kwaye ujikeleze kwityala lokukhubeka abo babangqongileyo.
nxt ukhuphiswano lweqela lethegi
Abantu abane 'white knight' syndrome badla ngokutsaleleka kubafeli-nkolo kuba bakhula ukuxhomekeka omnye komnye.
I-knight ibona ukubandezeleka komfeli-nkolo kwaye izama ngamandla ukubasindisa kubo, ngelixa umfeli-nkolo ebambelela kwiqokobhe labo elikhuselayo lobukhoboka bokubandezeleka kunye nokutshutshiswa kwi-knight ngokuzama ukubenza batshintshe iimeko zabo.
Ekugqibeleni, iphelela ekubeni bubudlelwane obunetyhefu kubo bobabini kwaye baya kuya esihogweni kwangethuba, okanye baya kutsalwa bakwimeko ende, enobundlobongela egwetyelwe kufutshane nekungenakwenzeka ukuba bazikhuphe kuyo.
3. Banokulawula
Ukuba mnandi ngokugqithisileyo ikwayindlela yokukhohlisa ukuzama ukufumana into oyifunayo ngokubonisa uthando olungafanelekanga.
Nokuba yintombazana ecekethekileyo ekuxinezelekeni abanye abantu basetyhini banxiba ukuze bacenge indoda edlulayo ukuba incede, okanye isigqubuthelo amanye amadoda narcissistic banxibe Ukurhwebesha iqabane, ukuba 'mnandi kakhulu' kunokuba luphawu lweenjongo ezingalunganga.
Oku kuziphatha, nangona kungengohlobo olubi, kunokubonwa nakubantwana. Zingaphi izihlandlo apho umntwana kufuneka ancume ngoncumo olukhulu kwaye ayeke ukudlala phezulu ukuzama ukuxoxa ngento emdala? Heck, abazali bade bakukhuthaze oku kuziphatha ngokuxoxisana nabantwana babo kwaye babanike imivuzo ngokulunga.
Akumangalisi ke ngoko, ukuba abanye abantwana bakhule babe ngabantu abadala abacinga ukuba banokufumana oko bakufunayo ebantwini ngokubeka olona ncumo lwabo. Baye batshintshise ubunyani babo kwezinye izinto kunokuba balungile ngenxa yayo.
4. Abazivumeli Ukuba Babe Ngabantu Ngokupheleleyo
Ubuhle obuqhubekayo yifadade, kwaye ayisiyonto intle. Yabona, into malunga ne ukukhula umntu Kukuba sonke size nembonakalo yokwenene yeemvakalelo ezisusela kububele nemfesane ukuba nomsindo nokuphelelwa lithemba.
Xa umntu emhle ngalo lonke ixesha, unokuqiniseka ukuba banazo zonke iintlobo zezinye iimvakalelo ezihamba ngaphantsi komhlaba.
Nangona kunjalo banesidingo sokuba babonwe njengelungileyo, kwaye benobubele, kwaye bumnandi kangangokuba abazivumeli ukuba bafumane iimvakalelo abanokuthi zithathwa njengezingenanto, singasathethi ke ngokuzichaza.
Oko akunampilo nakuphi na ukolula kwengqondo.
Ukuba ubandakanyeka nomntu onje, amathuba kukuba kuyakufuneka ujongane nokuqhuma kweemvakalelo ngexesha elithile kwikamva elibonakalayo. Zonke ezi mvakalelo zicinezelweyo ziyakha ngaphezulu kweminyaka, zihlala zibangela imicimbi ixhala kunye noxinzelelo, okanye ngakumbi.
Ngolunye usuku oluhle, konke oko kuya kwakha ukuya kuthi ga kwinqanaba apho bengasenakuqulatha khona, kwaye baya kugqiba ukuphazamiseka kwemithambo-luvo okanye isiqephu se-psychotic, kwaye leyo yingxokolo yesihogo kuye wonke umntu obandakanyekayo ukuba acoce.
5. Okanye, Bakwiziyobisi
Sukuyigxotha le ngokungqalileyo: eneneni inokwenzeka. Ukuba umntu ol-uber-nice omaziyo akacaphuki, akhathazeke, okanye abe nomsindo nokuba zithini na iimeko, kunokwenzeka ngokupheleleyo ukuba bayazinyanga ukuya kwinqanaba le-catatonia.
Ngokuqinisekileyo, banokuba kumachiza amayeza ohlobo oluthile, kodwa nkqu nalawo avumela abantu ukuba bazive ubutyebi kunye nobubanzi beemvakalelo kwinqanaba elithile.
Abo batyatyekwe ngokusisigxina ngoncumo olunamandla kwaye aboyiki nakwezona meko zigqibeleleyo banokucinywa ebusweni babo. Iipilisi zeentlungu ze-opioid zingenza oku kube nefuthe ebantwini, kodwa ke linakho nezinye iziyobisi, ezisemthethweni nezingekho mthethweni ngokufanayo.
Nokuba yeyiphi na imeko, yenye imeko apho kufanelekileyo ukuba yinto entle yinto eyenziweyo endaweni yokunyaniseka, kwaye inokugqibela ngokwenzakalisa abo bancumayo, kunye nabo bakwisangqa sabo esikufutshane.
6. Baye Iyacaphukisa
Abantu abahle bayadika njengeetapile ezicujiweyo kunye neesonka zesonka esimhlophe. Ewe kulungile, umntu olungileyo anganyamezeleka ixesha elifutshane, kodwa ubumnandi obungapheliyo bunokucaphukisa. Ukulunywa okukodwa kwekhekhe yetshokholethi kulungile, kodwa isilayi sayo sonke (mayeke isiqingatha segeyithi) siyakwenza isicaphucaphu.
Kuyanconywa xa abantu belungile kuthi, kodwa nathi kufuneka sicelwe umngeni. Sifuna abantu abaya kuthi bancokole kwaye babe ziimpazamo ezikhohlakeleyo kwaye babe nokufana kobuntu obungaphaya kogcino olunoshukela ogqithisileyo.
Nyaniseka: loluphi uhlobo lomntu onokuthi ukhethe ukuhlala nalo ngoLwesihlanu ebusuku? Umntu onokuthatha naye i-piss ngokuthuthumbisa (elungileyo) Okanye umntu ozokukhalimela xa uthuka ngoba ayonto intle ukuyenza?
Uhhhhhh.
7. Ubumnandi abunyanisekanga
Umntu ogqithiseleyo ulungile ngokungathandabuzekiyo ulixoki. Bona bazixokisa malunga nendlela abavakalelwa ngayo ngaphakathi, kwaye bayaxoka kwabanye abantu ukuze baqiniseke ukuba abacaphukisi mntu, nokuba oko kuyingozi.
Banexhala lokucaphukisa abanye okanye ukubonwa njengabangenabubele kangangokuba baya kunganyaniseki… kwaye akukho mntu uyifunayo. Hayi ncma.
Nanku umzekelo: umntwana (masimbize ngokuba nguBilly) usebenza kwisiqwenga sobugcisa, ajike kuyise ukuze afake igalelo. Uyise umncoma ngokumncoma nokumkhuthaza malunga nokuba kumnandi kangakanani, kwaye xa uBilly emqhubela ukugxeka okwakhayo kuba uziva ngathi ifuna ukuphuculwa, utata othandekayo uhlekisa kwaye umxelele ukuba ilungile.
U-Billy emva koko uphulukana nokholo kuyise kuba uyazi kakuhle ukuba i-daddykins iyancamisa ngasemva kwaye hayi ukunyaniseka naye… kwaye xa ukuthembana kwaphulwe kanjalo, kunzima ngenene ukuvuselela.
Kubudlelwane babantu abadala, ukukhetha ubunyani endaweni yokunyaniseka kunokubangela kungekuphela ukungathembani, kodwa nenzondo.
Ungquzulwano alunakuphepheka ebomini, kodwa ngokubanzi sifuna (kwaye kufuneka) sikwazi ukuthembela abahlobo bethu abasenyongweni kunye namaqabane athandanayo, ke xa sazi kakuhle ukuba Siyaxokwa Ukugcina nje iimvakalelo zethu, ezinokutshabalalisa ukuthembela kwinqanaba elisisiseko. Ngonaphakade.
Nokuba siyintoni na isizathu soko, uninzi lwabantu ngokwendalo luyazi ukuba ubumnandi obugqithisileyo asisiyemvelo ukuba nayo. Abantu abalungileyo bakuyo yonke indawo, kodwa kukho isikali esityibilikayo apho umntu anokuhamba khona. Yiya kude kakhulu uye esiphelweni esihle kwaye ibhalansi ilahlekile. Lumka ke nakubani na okhangeleka emhle kancinci kwindlela abajonga ngayo.
