Usuku lukaMama luza kungekudala kumazwe amaninzi, oko kuthetha ukuba oomama kwihlabathi liphela baya kubhiyozelwa ngeentyatyambo, amabhontshisi amahle, kunye nezipho ezisuka entliziyweni.
Abantu abaninzi bakhangele phambili kulo mhla, njengoko kubanika ithuba lokubhiyozela umfazi owabazisa emhlabeni kwaye wabanika uthando olungenammiselo kunye nenkxaso.
Ukwenzela i abantwana boomama abathandanayo (NMs), yimeko eyahluke mpela.
Endaweni yokujonga phambili kulo mhla njengethuba lokubonisa umzali axabisekileyo ukuba bathandwa kwaye baxatyisiwe kangakanani, umntwana okhulileyo Umama we-narcissistic ingaqala ukothuka iiveki- kwaneenyanga- ngaphambili.
Aba ngabantu abaye baphantsi kwezinye zeendlela ezimbi kakhulu zengqondo, zengqondo, kwanokungcungcuthekiswa ngokwasemzimbeni ngumntu omnye ababemele ukuba babenako ukumthemba: umama wabo.
Ukubethwa koMama
Siphila kuluntu olubeka ukuba ngumama kwinqanaba eliphakamileyo.
Ngoku, ukuba ngumzali kugwetyelwe umsebenzi onzima, kwaye oomama kunqabile ukuba bafumane ukuqinisekiswa kunye noxabiso olubafaneleyo.
Kodwa kukho inkolelo yokuba ukuba nje umfazi abe ngumama, uhlala ephana, enobungcwele egcwele uthando olungenamiqathango kunye nokuzinikela.
Akanakwenza nto imbi, kwaye ukuba uyayenza, kungenxa 'yesizathu esivakalayo,' kwaye kufanelekile ukuxolelwa kwangoko. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, 'ngumAMA wakho.'
Omnye wemicimbi enzima kakhulu ekufuneka abantwana bakwa-NMs bajamelane nawo kukuba babebakho (ngoku) bahlala bengakholelwa malunga nento eyenzeka emva kweminyango evaliweyo.
Kutheni le nto? Isikakhulu kuba ii-NMs zihlala zinobuso esidlangalaleni ohluke kakhulu kwinto eboniswe ekhaya.
Esidlangalaleni, kufutshane namalungu osapho awandisiweyo, abahlobo, ootitshala, njl., Umama uzichaza njengomntu ozinikele ngokupheleleyo nothando.
Angathetha ngendlela aziqhenyce ngayo ngabantwana bakhe, angabanga okanye abaphathe ngokubonisa bonke abantu abamngqongileyo ukuba ungumzali ogqibeleleyo, omangalisayo yena… kwaye kwangoko xa usapho lusekhaya, uyakukhupha inzondo kunye ne-vitriol malunga nayo nayiphi na into ebonwa incinci.
Ngokuchaseneyo nobungcwele obuqhelekileyo obunxulunyaniswa nokuba ngumama, kwaye kuyonakalisa ngokumangalisayo kubantu abancinci, abasesichengeni abakhathalelayo.
'Kodwa NGUMAMA WAKHO!'
Abantu abangakhulanga benomzali othanda ukusebenzisa iziyobisi bathanda ukusabela kakubi xa abo baye bazama ukuveza ukuphelelwa lithemba kwabo ngokukhula kwabo.
Ngapha koko, xa abanye abantu abadala abasindayo ekuphathweni gadalala ngabazali bezama ukucacisa kwabanye ukuba kutheni kufuneka bezikhwebule kumzali othethiweyo, okanye babaxelele ngezinto ezimbi abazenzileyo, bahlala bedibana nokungakholelwa okanye ubutshaba.
Ngamanye amaxesha bobabini.
Omnye umntu unokunika iimpendulo ze-glib ezifana “Kodwa ngumama wakho! Ngokuqinisekileyo uyakuthanda, kwaye uyazi ukuba uyamthanda naye, emazantsi ezantsi ”.
Okanye banokubhengeza amava ngokupheleleyo, nge “Owu, ngekungebi kubi kangako. Mhlawumbi ubusabela ngendlela ebaxiweyo ngenxa yokuba ungumntwana onolwazelelelo. ”
Abasoze bayiqonde indlela enokuba yingozi ngayo le mpendulo.
I-brock lesnar vs i-braun strowman
Umntu okhulele kumama owabarhangqa ngomjelo ongapheliyo wokugxekwa kunye nenkohlakalo, ngubani kukhanyiswe ngegesi bahlala bebenza ukuba babuze iinkumbulo zabo, impilo yabo, ayingomntu oza kuba nomnqweno wokubaleka ukuya evenkileni yeentyatyambo kunye nekhadi.
Ngokuqinisekileyo banokwenza oko ngenxa yesibophelelo, kodwa iintyatyambo ziya kuhlala ziluhlobo oluphosakeleyo okanye umbala ongalunganga, uluvo olukwikhadi alusoze lulunge, kwaye umntwana usenokukhunjuzwa ukuba abafunwanga ukuqala nge.
Oko kuhle kakhulu kungenakwenzeka kumntu ofumene uthando oluninzi kunye nenkxaso kubazali babo, kodwa abanakubekwa tyala ngaloo nto.
Phantse akunakwenzeka ukuba umntu ayiqonde ngokwenyani imeko ade azibonele ngokwakhe ... yiyo loo nto, ukuba ungumntwana okhulileyo woMama waseNarcissistic, kufuneka ube ngoyena mmeli wakho ungoyena mkhuseli wakho, kunye nomondli.
Ngaphezulu kwayo yonke enye into, kufuneka ukhathalele wena .
Ukubaluleka kokuZikhathalela kwakho
Kuba uyazi ngcono kunaye nabani na ukuba umama wakho angakuphatha njani okanye ngeMini kaMama, ungalungisa iindlela zokuzikhathalela ezokusebenzela wena.
Ukuba awudibananga - eyenye yeendlela ezilungileyo ze ukuphiliswa ekuphathweni gadalala -Ukuba umzali wakho angazama ukunxibelelana nawe “ngomhla wakhe obalulekileyo” ukuze azive enetyala kwaye azame ukubuyisela indawo ebomini bakho.
Ungamelana noku ngokuthintela inamba yakhe yefowuni (ukuba awukabikho), kunye nokumvimba kwimidiya yoluntu.
Unokuqinisekisa ukuba naziphi na ii-imeyile ezithunyelweyo ziya kugcinwa kwangoko kunokuba ziboniswe kwi-inbox.
Ukuba luhlobo lokuthumela iinkawu eziphaphazelayo emva kwakho kuba ecinga ukuba uzakuziphatha ngendlela afuna ngayo ukuba abanye abantu bayabandakanyeka ekukuhlukumezeni, kukho indlela elungileyo yokujikeleza loo nto.
Kwiveki okanye njalo ngaphambi koSuku loMama (kunye neeveki ezilungileyo emva koko), ungaphenduli iifowuni kuye nakubani na ogama lakhe kunye nenombolo ongayaziyo.
Thatha ikhefu kwimithombo yeendaba zentlalo, phendula kuphela ii-imeyile zomsebenzi kunye nezo zivela kubahlobo abasenyongweni, kwaye uchithe isihogo sexesha elininzi usenza izinto ezikonwabisa.
Ukuphepha umabonakude kukwangumbono olungileyo, njengoko kunokwenzeka ukuba uzaliswe ziintengiso malunga nezinto ezintle ezenzeka kusuku lukaMama.
Iindawo zokusasaza ezinje ngeNetflix okanye iAcorn kufuneka zilungile, kodwa ukuba kwaye xa ubona isibhengezo somhla wentshabalalo, tsiba okanye usithule kwaye ujonge ekuhlaleni okwangoku.
Yenza imithambo yokuphefumla ukuba ezi zinto zikubangela, kwaye ukuba uziva unetyala okanye uloyiko, zama ukuyeka. Buyela kwiziko.
Ukuba uziva uxinezelekile kwaye uxhalabile malunga nomhla ozayo, fikelela kwabo bakwi-network yakho abakuqondayo okhe wadlula kuko kwaye banokukunika inkxaso.
Ukuba unabantakwenu nabo basokolayo yingqumbo ye-NM yakho, ungazama ukubakhona, unike amandla kunye nenkxaso njengoko kufuneka.
Ngaphandle koko, ukuba awukafumani umgqirha ogxile ekusebenzeni nabantu abaye bajongana nabo Ukuphathwa gadalala , licebo elihle ukuyifumana.
Banokukunceda wakhe ukuzithemba kwakho, banokukunceda uqinisekise amava akho, kwaye bakufundise iindlela ezinokukunceda usebenze ngomonakalo ongapheliyo.
Amanye amandla e-psychotherapists anokukufundisa ukuba ungazisusa njani iimvakalelo ezingathandekiyo kunye neenkumbulo ngaphandle komzimba wakho ukuze ube nethuba lokuphilisa kubo ngokupheleleyo.
Qaphela: Ukuba ukhathazeke ngokunyanisekileyo ukuba umama wakho angabonakala emnyango wakho ukuze akoyikise (kunye nosapho lwakho), hamba uye kuloo mpelaveki.
Bhukisha igumbi lehotele okanye iAirBnB, okanye ubone ukuba ungachitha impelaveki nabantu obathandayo. Esihogweni, bhukisha inqwelomoya eya kwelinye ilizwe ukuba unako.
Andiziva ndithandwa ngumfana wam
Unelungelo kunye nemvume yokwenza nantoni na eyimfuneko ukwenzela impilo-ntle yakho.
Unokuthanda (inqaku liyaqhubeka ngezantsi):
- Indlela yokujongana neNarcissist: Ekuphela kwendlela eQinisekisiweyo yokuSebenza
- Indlela yeGrey Rock yokujongana ne-Narcissist xa kungekho qhakamshelwano ayisiyiyo inketho
- I-Rollercoaster yokubuyisela kwimeko yesiqhelo kwi-Narcissistic Abuse
- Iimpawu ze-6 oSebenza ngeNarcissist eModareyitha (kodwa ke uyiNarcissist)
- Iimaski ezi-6 zeNarcissist (kunye nendlela yokuzibona)
- Uvakalelo lovelwano lwaNarcissists: Iimpikiswano ngokuchasene nazo
Yenza uSuku Ngawe Endaweni
Ukuba ungumzali, ungalusebenzisa olu suku ukubhiyozela impumelelo yakho yobuzali kwaye ube nexesha elimnandi kunye nabantwana bakho. Okanye, ukuba unamaqabane ezilwanyana endaweni yoko, bhiyozele kunye nabo!
Nokuba awunabantwana okanye izilwanyana zasekhaya, unokuphinda wenze inkqubo yokuphendula kwakho ukuza kuthi ga kulo mhla ngokwenza ukuba ube ngamava aqinisekileyo kuwe.
Kuba kufanelekile ukuba ube ngowakho umzali kubomi bakho bonke, ungalusebenzisa olu suku njengethuba lokubhiyozela ukuxabiseka kwakho.
Ufanelwe luthando nokukhanya okungaka, kwaye akukho mntu ulufanelwe luthando lwakho kunawe. Ingakumbi nayo yonke into okhe wadlula kuyo.
Yintoni ekwenza wonwabe? Ngaba uyakonwabela ukuchitha ixesha kwindalo? Ngaba wenza uhlobo oluthile lobugcisa? Ukudanisa? Ukupeyinta udongwe?
Nokuba 'indawo yakho eyonwabileyo' ibandakanya umethi weyoga kunye neti eluhlaza eluhlaza okanye isofa esiliqili kunye namaxesha onyaka kwiNetflix, unelungelo lokuzibandakanya kuyo nayiphi na into ekufuneka uyenzile ukuguqula lo mhla ubumnyama ube lolonwabo, uthando , kwaye ngaphezu kwako konke, uxolo .
Isiko lokukunceda uphilise
Ukuba uziva ngathi kukho izinto okhe wafuna ukuzithetha kumama wakho, kodwa wazi ukuba ngekhe aziqonde okanye azamkele, zibhale ephepheni okanye uchwetheze: nokuba ukhetha yiphi na.
Phalaza onke amagama ashiywe engachazwanga, onke amanxeba, konke ukungcatshwa.
Nje ukuba konke kuphume, yiya kwindawo apho unokubeka umlilo ngokukhuselekileyo, kwaye wondle loo leta kumadangatye.
Ukuba uyathanda, ungatshisa neefoto okanye ezinye izikhumbuzo oziva ubambe uhlobo oluthile lokuzibophelela kwamandla, kwaye njengoko yonke into iwela kumsi kunye nothuthu, jolisa injongo yakho ekuvumeleni zonke ezo ntlungu zakudala zitshise kunye nazo.
Esi senzo somzimba sokuyeka sihamba kakhulu, kwaye emva koko ungagxila ekugcwaliseni umzimba wakho ngothando olungenamiqathango.
(Ke unoxanduva kwaye uqiniseke ukuba umlilo ucinywa ngokukhuselekileyo. Uxanduva nakho konke…)
Okulandelayo, gcwalisa ikhaya lakho ngamavumba ofumana ukuthoba, nokuba kungokutshisa isiqhumiso okanye ukusasaza iioyile ezifanelekileyo. Ikhaya lakho yingcwele yakho: indawo yakho yoxolo. Apho, ukhuselekile. Khuselekile.
Yenze iNqaba yakho yoThuthuzo.
Emva koko, hlamba.
Ayisiyo ibhafu, eya kukugubungela ngamanzi, kodwa ishawa enokunceda ukuhlamba ukungakhathali emzimbeni wakho.
udaniel howell kunye phil lester
Unokwenza ityuwa okanye ikofu xa uselapho, njengoko isenzo somzimba sokukhupha umzimba sinokuqinisa umfanekiso wengqondo wokukrazula amanqatha amadala wenzakalo ukuze uphinde uvele.
Zama Ukuxolela, Ukuba Unako
Khumbula igama elithi 'baxolele, kuba abayazi into abayenzayo'? Oko kuyinyani ngokwenene xa kufikwa kuma-narcissists.
Nangona zinokubangela umonakalo omninzi ngendlela engaqhelekanga, kubalulekile ukuba ukhumbule ukuba abanakuziqonda ezabo iindlela zokuziphatha.
Abakwazi ukuyibona.
I-Narcissism kukuphazamiseka kubuntu ngokungafaniyo nokuphazamiseka kobuntu emngceleni, okuhlala kunezizathu ezibangela ukuxhatshazwa kwabantwana.
Isaci esithi 'abantu abenzakalisayo baphela bekwenzakalisa abanye abantu' siyinyani: umama owonakalise wena kungenzeka ukuba naye wonzakala esemncinci… kwaye nabo bamonakalisileyo nabo babephathwa gadalala. Kwaye njalo njalo njalo, ngenkohlakalo kunye nokulimaza ukubuyela emva kwezizukulwana.
Uxolelo alukho malunga nokuxolela omnye umntu obekek 'ityala, kananjalo ayikuko nokusula isileyiti ukuze nina nobabini niqhubele phambili ngolwalamano oluqaqambileyo enisoloko niliphupha ukuba nalo.
Hayi, uxolelo kule meko lumalunga nokusika iintambo ezindala ezikugcine ubotshelelwe emntwini ongasoze ayeke ukukukhathaza, ukuze ukhululeke, kwaye uziphilise.
