Lonke ulwalamano luya kuhamba izigaba ezininzi . Eyokuqala kwezi ngu Ixesha lasemva komtshato , xa nifunda okuninzi ngomnye nomnye. Oku kulandelwa linqanaba lokuziqhelanisa, xa uqala thatha izinto ezenziwa liqabane lakho ukwenzela wena . Emva kwexesha kuza ukwaliwa kunye nokuhlutha, ubuhlobo nothando.
Ayilulo lonke ulwalamano olufikelela kumanqanaba okugqibela, nangona kunjalo, kwaye amaxesha amaninzi kungenxa yokuba awunakuzijonga iintsilelo zeqabane lakho kwakhona. Nokuba amanqaku akhe alungileyo anokuqalisa ukukucaphukisa. Ngelo xesha, uyakholelwa ngokunyanisekileyo ukuba kufuneka batshintshe ngenxa yakho, abo babathandayo, kunye nolwalamano.
Umhla uyeza xa uzithuthuzela ngeenkumbulo zamaxesha apho wahlekisa ngezinto ezifanayo, ukhohliswa kukudibana, uchitha iintsuku kunye neeveki uthetha kude kube kusasa, uye kwiikonsathi ezifanayo, kwaye xa ikhemistri phakathi kwakho nobabini yayinako ukubonakala. Usanethemba ngentliziyo yakho yonke ukuba yonke into izakubuya ukuba umlinganiswa wesithandwa sakho uyatshintsha.
Ke, ngaba iyavakala into yokutshintsha indoda? Kutheni le nto abafazi beyifuna le nto? Kutheni ungenakumtshintsha kwaye izakuba yintoni izenzo zakho kule meko? Makhe sijonge le mibuzo ingezantsi.
Kutheni Umfazi Ufuna Ukutshintsha Indalo yendoda?
Ekuqaleni, umfazi ufuna ukukwenza kuphela ukuba uyamthanda. Ukuba indoda engathandekiyo izisa ukungakhululeki kwakhe, uvele aqhawule ulwalamano naye.
Kukho iimeko ezininzi xa umfazi eqala ukucinga ngokutshintsha indoda.
- Abasetyhini bathanda abaphumeleleyo. Luphawu lwendalo lobufazi lokuwela kumadoda aphumeleleyo, kwaye ukuba awuweva amandla angaphakathi kulowo umthandayo, uzama ukumguqula.
- Iqabane lakho liqala ukukukhathaza, kuhlala kukho ixhala, kwaye uzibhaqa ucinga: 'Kutheni kufuneka ndiyinyamezele?' Emva koko uye ube novalo, uxakeke, kwaye ichaphazela imeko-bume ngokubanzi kulwalamano.
- Xa ungabelani ngamaxabiso aqhelekileyo, yingxaki. Ekuqaleni, niyazana kwaye niyonwabele imeko yovuyo. Xa kufika ixesha lokuba Thetha ngezinto ezinzulu kunye nokufunda izinto eziphambili ngokubaluleka kunye nexabiso elinye nelinye, ngamanye amaxesha kuyabonakala ukuba azidibani, kwaye uya kuzama ukutshintsha iqabane ukunqanda ungquzulwano oluzayo.
- Kukho izinto ezingafaniyo kwisimilo sakhe kunye nokuziphatha ongenakukuvuma. Umzekelo, yena akafuni ukuzibophelela , uphupha ngabantwana ngelixa engabafuni, okanye ubeka umsebenzi okanye abahlobo phambi kwakho.
- Umfazi uthelekisa intanda yakhe namanye amadoda ebomini bakhe kwaye ufuna ukuba abe nobukrelekrele, anikele ingqalelo, kwaye abe nengqondo efanayo yesitayile njengamaqabane abahlobo bakhe.
Yiyo loo nto, xa owasetyhini eziva engonwabanga yindoda, ufuna utshintsho. Rhoqo, wenza iinzame zokutshintsha iqabane, kodwa ekugqibeleni liphume lilize. Akakwazi ukuqonda ukuba kutheni kusenzeka oku, kuba uyakholelwa ngokunyanisekileyo ukuba, ngenxa yothandekayo, wonke umntu unokutshintsha.
Kutheni amadoda engashiyi imikhwa yawo ngasemva?
Ubume bendoda bunezinto ezininzi, kwaye akunakwenzeka ukukhetha izizathu jikelele zokuba kutheni bengafuni (okanye bengenako) ukutshintsha indlela abakuyo kulwalamano. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, wonke umntu uneseti ekhethekileyo yeempawu. Nangona kunjalo, masizame ukuqaqambisa ezinye zazo:
- Eyona nto kukuba, abantu basetyhini bajonge kwihlabathi ngokusebenzisa uthando, imfesane, kunye nokuqonda ukuba zizidalwa ezinemvakalelo. Amadoda, kwelinye icala, anomsindo ngakumbi, kodwa oko akuthethi ukuba baphantsi kweemvakalelo. Ukuba awuyazi into engalunganga kuye, khumbula ukuba unokucinga ukuba uyabaxa kwaye imeko ayibi mbi njengoko ucinga. Zama ke ukumchazela indlela oziva ngayo okanye into ekucaphukisayo. Kuya kumnceda ukuba aziqonde ngcono iimvakalelo zakho.
- Indoda ayiboni mqondo ekutshintsheni kuba umfazi evumela ukuba aziphathe ngendlela afuna ngayo. Ukuba indoda iyamphatha ngokungenantlonelo, kwaye uyayivumela, emva koko ifuna izinto zihlale zinje.
- Uya kuzitshintsha ukuba uyakuthanda. Kumfazi wakhe amthandayo, indoda idala imeko-bumnandi kwaye izalisekise yonke iminqweno namaphupha ayo. Ke, ukuba akazisusi iziphene zakhe, usenokungakuboni njengowasetyhini oza kuhlala naye ekuhambeni kwexesha.
- Uyakudelela emva kokumgxotha! Abasetyhini abaninzi baxakeke kakhulu yile mbono babeka uxinzelelo olukhulu kumaqabane abo kwaye bayakhalaza rhoqo: 'Fumana umsebenzi omtsha, unciphise umzimba, unganxibi le bhatyi, hlala ekhaya, ungadibani nabahlobo.' Badlala kwimithambo-luvo yendoda, yiyo loo nto ingamameli.
- Cinga ngaphezulu mhlawumbi uku ulwalamano olunye iqabane lakho alinamdla kwaye alifuni ukwenza izinto phambili. Ukuba kunjalo, akunakulindeleka ukuba atshintshe.
- Ukuba umbeka phantsi ngalo lonke ixesha, ayizukusebenza. Yiba nobulungisa, kwaye ukuba akakulungelanga ngokwaneleyo, qhubeka nje. Musa ukutshabalalisa ukuzithemba kwakhe.
- Abafazi banokuphatha amadoda abo njengabantwana. Kule meko, baya kuba neenkani ngakumbi kwaye banamathele kwimikhwa yabo emibi.
- Intombi ebonisa ukungakhathali kunye nokungabi nantlonelo kwaye inethemba lokuqeqesha isoka lakhe- le yimpazamo! Abantu kufuneka balingane kwi ubudlelwane obuphilileyo kwaye akufuneki uyijike ibe yinkampu yoqeqesho.
- Ngamanye amaxesha umntu obhinqileyo akazinanzi iingxaki zakhe ezisisiseko kwaye ugxile kwiziphene zika Mnu. Ke, ukuba indoda iyabona ukuba umfazi akafuni ukutshintsha isimilo okanye isimilo sakhe, uya kuba nawo nomnqweno wokulahla iziphene zakhe.
- Emva kokuguqula iindima, uyaqonda ukuba umfazi akafuni ukuba amtshintshe, kutheni ke kufuneka enze yedwa?
- Ukubonelela ukuba umntu obhinqileyo unyanzele indoda yakhe ukuba ibe yikona, kuya kuba ngcono ukuba imshiye. Qaphela ukuba le ndlela yokuziphatha ityhola amadoda kude.
- Indoda ayiziva ikhululekile kuba umfazi akanambeko naye, kwaye izenzo zakhe zibeka uxinzelelo kubudlelwane.
Ke ngoko, kuxhomekeke kakhulu emfazini, ke yenza ukuba ulindelo lwakho lucace. Amadoda awakuqondi okwathethwayo okanye acetyiswayo kwindlela ejikelezayo. Ngapha koko, gcinani engqondweni ukuba awunguye umntwana, kwaye indoda ayinaxanduva lokukhulisa, ke ngaphambi kokufuna utshintsho, yiba yeyona nguqulelo yakho.
Wenze Ntoni Umfazi?
Zimbini iindlela onokukhetha kuzo kumfazi ongakwaziyo ukumela iinxalenye zesimilo sendoda.
Eyokuqala kukulibala ngemigaqo kwaye yamkele le ndoda nazo zonke ii-pluses kunye nee-minus zayo. Ukuba uyintloko phezu kwezithende eluthandweni, ke ukulungele ukwenza isivumelwano. Into ekufuneka uyamkele kukuba kulungile ukwahluka kwiminqweno yakho, iinjongo kunye nabalinganiswa babenza ubudlelwane bube bodwa.
Enye into yokuphelisa ubudlelwane ukuba ayizisi uvuyo kuwe. Ukuba wena neqabane lakho anihambelani kwaye ubudlelwane abufanelanga ukulwelwa, ke ungabi lixhoba lokukhangela into ebhetele, kuba wonke umntu wasetyhini ufanelwe ukonwaba!
Kwibhalansi, ukuba ulwalamano aluzange lusebenze, ungalahli ithemba akukho nto iphosakeleyo ngawe. Ayisiyimbophelelo yakho ukuba ngumcebisi, ukuba ngumama wesoka lakho, okanye ukuphilisa ukukhathazeka ngokweemvakalelo, kufanelekile ukuba uzive ukhululekile kwaye wonwabile.
Nantoni na oyenzayo, indoda iya kumamela ingcebiso yakho kuphela ukuba uyaphambana ngaye, kwaye ezi mvakalelo ziyafana, ke vumela eli binzana: 'Musa ukumnyanzela ukuba atshintshe, umkhuthaze endaweni yoko' abe sisiqubulo sakho.
Ngaba awuqinisekanga ukuba ujongana njani neqabane elingafezekanga?Ukuba izinto zicel'umngeni kulwalamano lwakho ngoku, inokunceda imeko leyo ukuba uthethe nomcebisi ngobudlelwane oqeqeshiweyo onokunika isikhokelo nenkxaso kuyo nayiphi na into ojongana nayo. Akunyanzelekanga ukuba udlule koku wedwa.Ke kutheni ungaxoxi kwi-Intanethi nengcali yobudlelwane kwi-Relationship Hero enokukunceda ufumane izinto. Ngokulula.
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