Inzondo ligama elinamandla, kodwa ngokwenene andikuthandi.
Ngelixa i-Plain White T's ibhale la ngoma nge-ex-girlfriend engqondweni, ukuba ufunda oku, usenokuba uzifumene ujonge umntu ithiyori umhlobo wakho kwaye ucinga into efanayo.
Amathuba kukuba, ukuba usasebenzisa igama elithi 'umhlobo' ukubachaza, kusekho inqanaba elithile lothando apho. Mhlawumbi awubudeli ubunjalo babo, kodwa usenokuba uqale ukungabathandi.
Okona kuncinci, ufumanise ukuba kukho izinto ezithile malunga nabo okanye indlela abaziphethe ngayo eziqala ngokwenene ukuba neovalo.
Ukwahlukana nomhlobo kunokuba yinto ebuhlungu kanye Ukwahlukana nomntu othandana naye , nokuba ukhule ungabathandi.
Abahlobo bethu bayinxalenye enkulu yobomi bethu. Ukuzicima kunokubacaphukisa kakhulu abantu ababandakanyekayo, ngakumbi ukuba nichitha ixesha elininzi kunye, nithetha kakhulu, baxhomekeke ngokweemvakalelo omnye komnye, okanye banembali ende ekwabelwana ngayo.
Isenokuba nefuthe kwiqela lobuhlobo elibanzi nobabini niyinxalenye.
ukuba wenze ntoni xa uziva woyisiwe
Ngokusisiseko, ayisosigqibo ekufuneka sithathwe ngokungakhathali, njengokuba ungekhe uthathe ikhefu lothando kancinci.
Ukuba le meko ivakala iqhelekile, emva koko unokuzibuza ukuba ungaya phi ukusuka apha. Ukuba ‘umthiyile’ umhlobo wakho, ufanele wenze ntoni?
Ngaphambi kokuthatha isigqibo malunga nento oza kuyenza malunga nemeko yakho, inyathelo lokuqala kukufumanisa ukuba yintoni na eguqula ubudlelwane baba muncu okanye kuthetha ukuba ngequbuliso bafumana imithambo-luvo yakho.
Emva koko, kuya kufuneka uqonde ukuba kutheni unqabile ukusika intambo, kwaye, ekugqibeleni, ukuba uthatha isigqibo sokuba yinto elungileyo ukuyenza, yenze xa sele ukhulile, ngendlela ehloniphekileyo .
Okokuqala, buza:
Ngaba ngabo…?
Abantu bayatsintsha. Akukho namnye kuthi uhlala efanayo. Siguqukela yonke imihla. Lilonke inani lakho konke okwenzekileyo kuwe kude kube ngowesibini ufunda le nto.
Akufanele kumangaliswe kuwe, ke, ukuba abahlobo bakho bayatshintsha.
Ngelixa banokutshintsha bangcono, banokuphuhlisa iimpawu ezithetha ukuba nobabini anisaboni ngasonye.
Yintoni ekufuneka ucinge ngayo yile nto ibangele olu tshintsho.
Kungenzeka ukuba batyhubela ixesha elinzima, nokuba buqu okanye bubungcali, kwaye eyona nto bayifunayo yinkxaso yakho kunesigwebo sakho.
Ngelixa kungafanelekanga ukuba uvumele ubudlelwane obunetyhefu ukuba bukutsalele ezantsi ukuba indlela abaziphethe ngayo iyaqhubeka kwaye iqala ukukusa umthwalo, ukuba umntu obalulekileyo kuwe uqala ukwenza ngendlela engaqhelekanga, ulityala kubuhlobo ukuzama ukufikelela ezantsi kutheni yiyo i.
Kwelinye icala, nangona utshintsho lwabo kwindlela yokuziphatha lunokubangelwa yinto engalunganga eyenzekayo ebomini babo, isenokungabi njalo.
Basenokuba baphenjelelwa ngumhlobo omtsha abaye bamenza okanye iqabane elitsha lothando abanxibelelene nalo. Sonke siye saba nomhlobo ngequbuliso uwele eluthandweni kwaye kubonakala ngathi wayenobuntu obufakelweyo ngenxa yoko.
… Okanye Wena?
Ukhe wayiqwalasela inyani yokuba isenokungabi ngumhlobo wakho onengxaki, kodwa wena?
Banokufana njengangaphambili, kodwa ukutshintsha KWAKHO kuthetha ukuba uzibona ngamehlo amatsha.
Mhlawumbi uyabamonela okanye ubamonele ngento yokuba izinto zibahambela kakuhle kanye xa udlula kwisiqwengana esinamatye.
Abanye bethu ngokwendalo bathambekele ekukhweleteleni umona kunabanye, kwaye akufuneki uzibethe ngokwakho ukuba uhambe uluhlaza kancinci ngomona.
Kodwa kuya kufuneka uzame ubuncinci ukuba wazi xa izenzo zakho ziqhutywa ngumona.
Mhlawumbi ukhule unganyamezeli, nangasiphi na isizathu, kwaye unovakalelo ngakumbi kwizinto malunga nabahlobo bakho, ngaphambili, ongazange uziqaphele.
Ngelixa kubalulekile ukuba unganyamezeli ngokugqithileyo- kwaye kufuneka uzimele iinkolelo zakho kunokuba ulale phantsi kwaye uvumele abantu ukuba bahambe phezu kwakho-sonke sinesiphoso.
Abantu bayazinyamezela iimpawu zakho ezingathandekiyo, ke kuya kufuneka wandise imbeko efanayo kubahlobo bakho.
Okanye ingaba ibaleka kancinci kunoko? Ngaba kunokwenzeka ukuba ungonwabi okanye ungoneliseki okanye mhlawumbi ukhe ube neempawu nje zokudakumba?
Ukuziva siphantsi kunokusenza sifune ukubatyhalela kude abo basikhathaleleyo, njengoko sisazi ukuba bazakuyifumana into kwaye asifuni ukuba basibuze ngayo.
Ukuzithethelela kule nto kuthi, sihlala siqamba izinto abazenzileyo ezingqondweni zethu ukuze babe 'nesizathu esivakalayo' sokubuyela umva kubuhlobo, xa into esiyenzayo kukubeka iindonga zokuzimela.
Okanye sinako projekthi ngokwengqondo iimvakalelo zethu kubo nakubobuhlobo ukuze siqiniseke ukuba sinemvakalelo yokugula (enokungabikho) ukuze siziva singcono ngokusika amaqhina.
Unokuthanda (inqaku liyaqhubeka ngezantsi):
- Iindidi ezi-9 zabahlobo ukuHamba (ngaphandle kokuziva ungalunganga)
- Iimpawu ezili-15 zoMhlobo olungileyo
- Iimpawu zokuziphatha ezi-9 ezinokuthi ziqhubele abahlobo bakho kude
- Ungabamkela njani abanye ukuba bangoobani (kwaye HAYI ukuba ufuna ukuba babe)
- Iindlela ezili-9 zokujongana nokuNgcatshiswa kunye nokuPhiliswa kwiNtlungu
- Iimpawu ze-7 zabaHlobo beNkohliso: Ungayijonga njani iMayile enye
Ngaba Ukhulile?
Inyaniso yokuba awusafumani nto inokuba ingekho kubo okanye kuwe ngokuthe ngqo.
Ubomi bethu buthatha izifundo ezahlukeneyo kwaye kulula ngokulula ukuzifumana usendleleni eyahlukileyo kumntu owawukade uhamba ngokonwaba ecaleni kwakhe.
indlela yokufumanisa ukuba ungubani
Zinjalo nje izinto, kwaye, nangona inokuba lusizi, kufuneka yamkelwe.
Ukuba oku kuvakala njengelityala lakho, ungazami ukulwa nalo. Banqwenelele okuhle kodwa. Ngubani owaziyo, iindlela zakho zinokuphinda zidibane kwakhona ezantsi emgceni.
Yintoni Ekwenza Uthandabuze Ukwahlukana?
Ukuba ufunda eli nqaku, oko kuthetha ukuba ukusika umhlobo okanye izihlobo ozifumanise ungazithandi ayisosigqibo usithathayo.
Kutheni le nto ucinga kabini? Esinye sezizathu eziphambili zokuba abantu basokole ukusika amaqhina kukwabelwana ngembali kunye a imvakalelo yokunyaniseka .
Ukuba nibe ngabahlobo ixesha elide, unokuziva ngathi ubatyala okuthile.
Unokuqhubeka nokwenza iinzame ngobuhlobo ngaphandle kwento yokuba kuyimfama ngokucacileyo kubo bobabini ukuba akukho namnye kuni ofumana nantoni na elungileyo kuyo.
ndibekwa ityala ngayo yonke into kubudlelwane bam
Zibuze ukuba ungaba ngumhlobo kunye nabo ukuba ubuya kudibana nabo kwinyanga ephelileyo kuneminyaka eli-10 eyadlulayo.
Apho Ukuya Apha
Ukufika ezantsi kwesizathu (s) sokuba kutheni usokolisana nalo mntu kutsha nje, kuya kuba lula ukuthatha isigqibo sokuba ingaba bubuhlobo ofuna ukubugalela amandla, okanye lixesha lokuba uye iindlela ezahlukileyo.
Ukuba ufuna ukuzama ukugcina ubuhlobo, Lixesha lokuba intliziyo endala ikwimo yentliziyo.
Unxibelelwano lubalulekile kulo naluphi na ulwalamano , kwaye nobabini nidinga ukunikwa ithuba lokuveza izinto ezinixhalabisayo kunye nokuthetha izinto ukuze ukwazi ukufumana indlela eya phambili.
Nyaniseka malunga nendlela oziva ngayo kwaye kutheni ucinga ukuba izinto zihambe ngendlela kungekudala. Unokumangaliswa yimpendulo oyifumana kubo. Amathuba kukuba incoko ayizukufika isimanga kubo.
Ukuba bafuna ukuzama ukulungisa ubuhlobo, sebenzela iindlela zokwenza nzulu unxibelelwano kwakhona kwaye ufumane izinto eziqhelekileyo owabelane ngazo.
Ukuba uthathe isigqibo sokuba awubafuni ebomini bakho, abanantetho yokuqhekeka ngaphandle kokuba ucinga ngokunyanisekileyo ukuba bafuna ukuva into oza kuyithetha ukuze balunge.
Ezi ntlobo zeengxoxo azikaze zilula kwaye omnye umntu akunakwenzeka ukuba ayithathe kakuhle.
Ngenxa yokuba bengengabo abahlobo bakho kwakhona, oko akuthethi ukuba ubenze babe lutshaba lwakho, ke cinga ngononophelo malunga nokuba ingaba licebo elilungileyo na eli okanye hayi.
Enye indlela ongayithatha yindlela yokuphelisa iklasikhi, kodwa ngokuqinisekileyo kukho indlela elungileyo kunye nendlela engalunganga yokwenza. I-Ghosting (ukuyeka ukuphendula imiyalezo) akupholanga, kwaye nokucima izicwangciso.
Ngokubalulekileyo, baphathe ngendlela othanda ukuphathwa ngayo. Bayeke bayokulima imisele yabo ngelixesha ugxile ekulimeni eyakho, kwaye amandla akho uwasebenzise kwakhona kubahlobo obaxabise ngokwenyani kwaye abakuxabise ngokwenyani.
Xa kufikwa kubuhlobo bakho, ukuba usoloko unobubele, usoloko unolwazelelelo, kwaye uhlala unezinto zakho zombini kunye nezona zilungileyo, awukwazi ukuya kude kakhulu.
