Xa kuziwa ekuvavanyeni amahla ndinyuka obomi, ngakumbi lawo amahla ndinyuka, ndifumana esi sicatshulwa sivela kuVivian Komori siluncedo:
Ubomi abukho malunga nokuba ubaleka kangakanani okanye uphakama kangakanani, kodwa ukuba utsiba kangakanani.
Kuba ubomi bunqabile ukuhamba ngolwandle, ukukwazi ukuzibuyisa emva kweempazamo sisakhono esibalulekileyo.
Ngaba uyazi ukuba iimbaleki ezikhethekileyo zigweba inqanaba labo lokomelela hayi kangako kwimpumelelo yabo njengexesha labo lokufumana kwakhona?
Kubonakala kum ukuba kufuneka sijonge ngokwethu ngendlela efanayo…
… Kufuneka sivavanye 'ixesha lethu lokuchacha' emva kokuba sibethe enye yezo ndonga zezitena zisenza siziva sidimazekile.
Amaxesha amaninzi sinamandla kunye nokuzimisela ukubuyela kwihashe kwaye siqhubeke apho besishiye khona.
Ngamanye amaxesha, nangona kunjalo, ukudibana nale miqobo akubangeli blip yexeshana emva koko unokuzikhethela, uzisuse uthuli, kwaye uqale kwakhona.
Endaweni yokuba ikubethe ngodonga lokwenyani, ikushiye udimazekile, utyumkile, unxunguphele kwaye woyisiwe ngokupheleleyo, ungaqiniseki ukuba inyathelo lakho elilandelayo liya kuba yintoni.
Ukubuyisela umva ngendlela yakho kubonakala kunzima kakhulu.
Woyisiwe.
Ukubuyisa umva kukuziva kungenakwenzeka.
Kufana nomdlalo webhodi onokuthi wawudlala njengomntwana, iinyoka kunye neleli ...
yintoni ibts yomkhosi?
Wenza inkqubela ethe chu ebhodini ngemilenze embalwa ukusuka kwiileli eziluncedo de ube unethamsanqa ngokwaneleyo ukuba ungadibana nenyoka kwaye uzibone uhlehla umva.
Kakhulu, ukusilela (iinyoka) kufutshane (kufutshane).
Ungazibuyisela kumkhondo ngokulula ngokwaneleyo kwaye mhlawumbi ungade uqhubeke nokuphumelela, uzive unwabile ukuba woyisile izilingo apha endleleni.
Kodwa ngamanye amaxesha, xa ulivumba uloyiso, awunathamsanqa ngokwaneleyo ukuba uhlale phezu kwenyoka ende eya kukubuyisela kanye apho uqale khona.
Isikwere esiphumeleleyo emva koko sibonakala sikude kakhulu kwaye ukoyiswa kubonakala kungenakuphepheka.
Kulula kakhulu ukuyeka kunye nedada ngaphandle komdlalo ngokupheleleyo.
Phezulu kwentloko yam, andinakucinga ngomdlalo ophucula ngakumbi amava obomi bokwenyani!
Ingxaki kukuba ubomi ayingomdlalo kwaye, enyanisweni, ukunikezela kwezi mpendulo zingathandekiyo kwizithintelo kunokuba ngowona monakalo mkhulu kwaye ngowona mbi.
Ke, unokwenza ntoni xa uzifumanisa ukoyiswa zezi mvakalelo?
Isisombululo silele ngokugxila kwiimpawu ezintle kunye nokutshintsha umbono wakho ukuze ujonge ukubuyela umva njengethuba lokufunda.
Ngale ndlela, xa ujongene nezithintelo ezingenakuphepheka, uya kuba nakho ukuqhubeka nokuqengqa idayisi kunye nokudlala umdlalo ngaphandle kokunikezela ekudimazekeni nasoyisweni.
Ekugqibeleni, uya kuba ngumntu onamandla kwaye ube nakho ukujongana namahla ndinyuka obomi.
Makhe sijonge ezinye iindlela onokuzisebenzisa ukukunceda ukuseta ikhampasi yakho kwakhona.
1. Qaphela ukuba ukusilela yinxalenye yenkqubela phambili.
Ke, kukho into engazange ihambe ngendlela yakho kwaye ngoku uziva ubethwa ngengqondo kwaye utyumkile.
Kuya kufuneka utshintshe indlela ocinga ngayo ungavumi ukusilela kwaye endaweni yoko wamkele into oyifundileyo kwimpazamo.
Zikhumbuze-rhoqo-ukuba akukho nto ibalulekileyo ikhe yafezekiswa ngaphandle kwenani leziqalo zobuxoki kunye nomqobo.
Yonke yinxalenye yenkqubo yophuhliso ethi ekugqibeleni ikhokelele kwinto enentsingiselo.
Kufuneka uqaphele ukuba kungcono kakhulu ukwenza into ethile ngaphantsi kokugqibeleleyo kunokwenza akhonto ngokugqibeleleyo.
Ewe, xa uthe wabetha i-bump endleleni iya kwenzakala okwethutyana-leyo yinxalenye yenkqubo enokuba nde kwaye inamatye ekugqibeleni ephela ngempumelelo.
UTruman Capote wakushwankathela oku ngcono kunokuba bendinako xa esithi:
Ukusilela sisinongo esinika impumelelo incasa yaso.
andinabahlobo endizophuma nabo
Ndiyazi ukuba kuyavakala njenge-oxymoronic, kodwa ukuba ungaphumelela ukwamkela imeko elungileyo yokusilela, vumela ukuba ikukhuthaze , kwaye ungatyhafiswa okanye woyiswe yiyo, usendleleni eya empumelelweni.
2. Gxila kwinyathelo elilandelayo, hayi kwindawo ekuyiwa kuyo.
Ngamanye amaxesha sijamelana nemiceli mngeni ebonakala ngathi ingaphaya kwamandla ethu.
Sijonga injongo okanye iphupha kwaye siyasokola ukucinga ngathi sifezekisa oko kuba kubonakala kukude kakhulu.
Ukuthintela ukudimazeka, zama ukungacingi ngendawo ofuna ukuya kuyo kunye nomzamo ofunekayo ukuze ufike apho.
Endaweni yoko, nikela ingqalelo kwinyathelo elilandelayo ekufuneka ulithathile.
Gxila kwisenzo esiya kukuhambisa kancinci kufutshane nenjongo yokuphela, kodwa ungakhathazeki malunga nokuba ikusondele kangakanani.
Jonga nje ukuyenza kakuhle, ngokokusemandleni akho.
Ukucotha inkqubela phambili kwicala elilungileyo kubhetele kunokungabikho nkqubela kwaphela.
Ekugqibeleni, inkqubela phambili ecothayo inokuthi iguqukele ekubeni ibe ngamanyathelo amakhulu njengoko uqala kholelwa kuwe Kancinci kancinci kwaye umgca wokugqibela uyabonakala.
3. Jonga kwicala eliqaqambileyo.
Xa uziva udimazekile, kuya kufuneka ukhethe ngokuzithemba ukuze ube nethemba.
Ukukhetha okungagqibekanga 'ukuseta lonke ihlabathi ngokuchasene nam' kuya kuqinisa kuphela ukungahambi kakuhle okukuyo.
Kunganzima ukwenza njalo yamkele isimo sengqondo esifanelekileyo kwaye ekuqaleni kungafuneka ubeke isenzo, ngokungathi uyaziqhula wena kunye nabanye abakungqongileyo.
Ungaziva ngathi ibinzana elithi 'fakela de ube uyayenza' lisetyenziswa kakhulu, kodwa liyasebenza.
Yizame.
Ixesha elingaphezulu uyakufumanisa ukuba useto lwakho olungagqibekanga luya kuba ngaphezulu kwaye ngokulula lucekeceke ngenxa yokuphoxeka.
4. Yiyeke ihambe.
Amathuba kukuba ubotshiwe ngumsindo ngenxa yeempazamo ezidlulileyo ozenzileyo okanye okungekho sikweni okhe wakuva.
Ukuthwala konke ukungakhathali ngeenxa zonke kunye nawe kuya kukucinezela kwaye kwenze kube nzima ukuba ube nethemba xa ujongene nokusilela.
Kusenokwenzeka ukuba uzive uxakekile kwaye ungonelanga.
Ngokuqinisekileyo uyafuna ziyeke ezi mvakalelo zinomsindo zihambe ukuba uza kubetha iidemon zakho.
Ngokucacileyo azizukunyibilika ngomlingo kwaye kuyakuthatha umzamo kuwe ukufezekisa oku.
Indawo oza kuqala kuyo kukuvuma umsindo wakho kunye nelungelo lakho lokuba nazo ezo mvakalelo.
Qaphela, nangona kunjalo, ukuba kunjalo ukuzilimaza ukugxila kwiimvakalelo ezingalunganga.
Kukho izicwangciso ezimbalwa onokuzama ngazo.
Ukuphefumla ngokunzulu kunokuba yindlela esebenzayo yokulawula umsindo, njengoko kunokuthatha ixesha ukuphuma.
Abanye abantu bayafumanisa Ijelo indlela entle yokukhupha uxinzelelo lwabo.
Yenza okusemandleni akho ukuhamba ngomsindo, kunokuba ungene ngaphakathi kuwo kwaye tshintsha ukugxila kwiinjongo zakho endaweni yoko.
5. Musa ukuzithelekisa nabanye.
Kutheni sisenza oku?
Uninzi lwethu lunetyala kwaye bambalwa abantu abanokuthi ngokunyanisekileyo ukuba bangachithi iinzame ezixabisekileyo zengqondo kwimisebenzi engenantsingiselo.
Ungayilimaza njani imvakalelo ye-narcissist
Ukuzilinganisa ngokuchasene nosapho lwakho, izihlobo, okanye abantu osebenza nabo kungakhokelela kwinto enye: ukudimazeka kunye ne-angst engeyomfuneko.
Khumbula ukuba ubona kuphela ubuso bangaphandle abanye abakhetha ukububonisa kwihlabathi.
Awunalwazi lokuba yeyiphi imiqobo kunye nezithintelo ekuye kwafuneka bazinyamezele ukuze bafike kule ndawo bakuyo ngoku.
Kwaye konke akunakuba mnandi njengoko kujongeka kuloo gadi.
Nguwe.
Kufuneka ujolise kuphela kwiihupula oya kuthi uzitsibe ukuze ufikelele kwiinjongo zakho kwaye ube yeyona nto ibalaseleyo.
6. Ngqina ukungathandabuzeki kwakho kuphosakele.
Ngaba uziva udimazekile ngenxa yelizwi elithethwe ngomnye umntu?
Mhlawumbi kukho umntu oye wahlekisa ngamaphupha akho okanye wakuxelela ukuba awusoze ube nanto.
Okanye mhlawumbi unayo uthathe amanye amagqabantshintshi ngokobuqu kunokuba ubufuna kwaye oku kwenzakalise ukuzithemba kwakho.
Nokuba yeyiphi na indlela, ukuba ungayitshintsha indlela ocinga ngayo uyikholelwe into ethethwa ngabanye abantu iye kulowo uzimisele ukubabonisa ukuba baphosakele, inokunika amandla kunye nenkuthazo yokuqhubeka.
Ngelixa kunokuziva kumnandi ukuzibeka endaweni yazo, sukuyenza ngesi sizathu. Yenza ngokwakho.
Zibonakalise zingalunganga ngokuzingqina ulungile.
7. Thatha inyathelo ubuye umva kwaye ukhumbule ukuba umhlaba awujikelezi kuwe.
Oku kulula kunokuba ucinga, nangona kuthatha umzamo owaziyo, kwaye sisinye sezitshixo esisiseko sokutshintsha ingqondo yakho ukusuka kwinto engeyiyo ukuya kwinto elungileyo.
Phantse sonke sinetyala lokucinga ukuba siziko lendalo iphela.
Oko kuthetha ukuba sinokubona imicimbi ngokuzithoba, ngokwembono yethu.
Ingxaki kukuba, xa udlala indima ephambili kumdlalo wakho, kulula ukuba uzisizele xa uthathe unkqonkqozo okanye izinto zingakhange zibeke ngendlela onqwenela ngayo.
Ikwavumela ukuba amathandabuzo aqhubekayo eze nezantyalantyala xa uqonda ukuba awusiso isenzo se-stellar owakha wacinga ngaphambili.
Unokwenza ntoni ngale nto?
Zama ukusetha kwakhona imbono yakho yokuzimela ngokucinga ngayo indlela onokubanceda ngayo abanye endaweni yoko.
Ukufezekisa into elungileyo kubo kuya kunceda ukubuyisela inkolelo yakho.
Oku akufuneki ukuba nantoni na enkulu. Nokuba izijekulo ezincinci ziya kukunceda ukuba uzive unethemba kwaye uya kuqala ukunyuka uphume kwelo qula lokuphelelwa lithemba.
wenza njani ukuba usuku lwesikolo luhambe ngokukhawuleza
Nje ukuba uqalise ukucinga malunga nokufunwa ngabanye, uphumelele ekutshintsheni imbono yakho isuke kuwe njengomlinganiswa ophambili.
Uyakufumanisa kuyakunceda ukunciphisa umthwalo wezo mvakalelo zibuhlungu, ukohlulwa kunye nokudimazeka.
8. Yeka ukukhalaza - akuncedi.
Xa izinto zingahambi ngendlela yethu, kulula kakhulu ukukhalaza ngokuvakalayo kuye nabani na okhathalelayo ukumamela.
Ngaba oku kuyanceda kwaye kuyayiphucula imeko yethu yeengqondo?
Hayi.
Inyani yile yokuba ukukhalaza malunga nendawo okuyo ngoku ngekhe kukufikise apho ungathanda ukuba khona.
Ayizukukwenza wonwabe kwaye ngenene kukuchitha nje ixesha kunye namandla anokuchithwa ngcono kwinto enemveliso ngakumbi.
Ndinomzekelo wobuqu wendlela ukungakhalazi okunokukwenza ngayo…
Xa ndandihamba ngebhayisikile ndisuka eLondon ndisiya eParis ngo-2012 kumngeni wesisa, idolo lam lasekunene lanikezela kwi-bursitis ebuhlungu kakhulu kwangoko ngomhla we-2 weentsuku ezi-4 zebhayisekile.
Andikhange nditsho nokuba sisiqingatha sendlela kwinjongo yam kwaye bendiseneemayile ezininzi phambi kwam.
Ukuyeka nje kwakungekho khetho kunye nayo yonke loo nkxaso-mali emva kwam.
Ngoku, anditsho ukuba kwakungekho nzima nyani ukuqhubeka nokuhamba ngenyawo nangona ubuhlungu (bencediswa yi-cocktail eyiyo yamayeza, ndiya kuvuma), kodwa ndenza njalo.
Nangona ukuhamba ngebhayisikile ndedwa (nangona kunjalo kukho nabanye abali-100, akukho mntu ndimaziyo) kunokubonakala ngathi yinto engeloncedo xa izinto zinzima, enyanisweni yenza ukuba kufikelelwe ngakumbi kunokuba kungaphantsi.
Ngoba?
Kuba bendingenamntu ndizokukhalaza kuye.
Ngokuqinisekileyo akukho sikhalo sinokwenzeka, ke ndaye ndaqhubeka nayo, ndacula ngaphandle kwe-tune Iingoma zeDisney ukunyuka iinduli (ezininzi) njengokuba iimayile zazihamba kabuhlungu de kwafika ixesha lokuba ndoyise i-Eiffel Tower.
UJohn cena kunye no nikki bella
Ndiyazi ukuba ukuba bekunokubakho umntu ophulaphule ooyeha bam, bendizakukhalaza ndincwine, ndinikezele kwiigremlins ezimbi kwaye kunokwenzeka ukuba ndiphose itawuli ngokupheleleyo.
Yayisisifundo esihle (ukuba sibuhlungu) sobomi esandikhonza kakuhle ukusukela ngoko.
Ndanikwa nengcebiso exabisekileyo ngomnye wootitshala endabakhuthazayo kwakudala.
Uthe ukubeka nje amandla amancinci owachitha ngokukhalaza ukulungisa ingxaki, kungekudala kungakhokelela kwisisombululo.
Wayethetha kakuhle.
Isenzo sokukhalaza sijongela phantsi ukulingana kwakho kwaye sivumele ukudakumba, ukudimazeka kwaye ekugqibeleni woyise ukuthatha indawo.
Yiphephe.
Ukuba uyeka ukukrokra kwaye uyala ukwamkela ukuba ulixhoba nje, uya kuthi kungekudala uqonde ukuba ungamandla angenakuphikiswa njani xa ujongene nobunzima.
Yizame!
9. Yamkela ukuba ngoku ingalixesha lokwenza utshintsho.
Xa siziqubula echibini lokuzisizela, sidimazekile kwaye siziva sisoyisiwe, kuyindalo ukuba khangela umntu okanye into yokugxeka .
Nje ukuba siwuchaze umthombo wosizi lwethu, kulapho kuqalisa khona ukukhalaza, ngokuchasene nokungabikho kokusesikweni okanye ukwenzakala.
Kwaye sele uyazi ngobungozi bokukhalaza…
Into esifanele ukuba siyayenza kukujonga ngaphakathi, kuthathelwa ingqalelo indlela esivakalelwa ngayo kunye nokufumana isicwangciso esifanelekileyo sokuphendula.
Mhlawumbi ufuna utshintsho lwentliziyo okanye utshintsho kwindlela ojonga ngayo okanye notshintsho kwindlela ohamba ngayo ngezinto.
Akunakubakho nto unokuyenza ukutshintsha izinto zangaphandle, kodwa wena unako tshintsha indlela obajonga ngayo.
Nje ukuba utshintshe umbono wakho, uya kufumanisa ukuba ezo zinto zingaphandle azinampembelelo ngaphezulu ziqala ukutshintsha, nazo.
Emva koko ulungiselelwe isenzo sokwenza utshintsho olululo, ushiye ukudimazeka kunye noloyiso emva kwakho.
Ngaba awuqinisekanga ukuba ungaziva woyisiwe njani kwaye unikwe amandla ngakumbi endaweni yoko? Thetha kumqeqeshi wobomi namhlanje onokuhamba kwinkqubo. Cofa nje apha ukudibanisa nenye.
Igama lokugqibela lokucingisisa…
Awuyi koyisa ngomlingo ezo gremlins zimbi, Ukoyiswa kunye nokudimazeka, kodwa ndiyathemba ukuba unokuziva womelele kwaye uqinisekile kuba unemephu yendlela yokusombulula ingxaki.
Awunguye umatshini kwaye, nokuba ubunguye, ubusaya kufuna ulondolozo okanye ukuqala kwakhona ixesha nexesha.
Ungumntu.
Sonke siyasilela kwaye siziva sidimazekile kwaye sithandabuza amandla ethu kunye nokuxabiseka kwethu, ngakumbi xa ubomi busiphosa kwi-curveball.
Ngoku unesixhobo sezixhobo kunye nencwadana yemiyalezo, uya kube udubula kuzo zonke iisilinda kwakhona kungekudala.
Unokuthanda:
