Ukuba uthandana nomntu ophindayo, okanye ophuma ngaphandle ngenxa yomona ngenxa yokuba unokuba nomdla komnye umntu, okanye ngokuqhula uthe izihlandlo ezininzi balindele ukuba ubashiyele umntu 'ongcono,' emva koko kusenokwenzeka ukuba ujongane nomntu oneengxaki ezinzulu zokulahla.
Le micimbi ihlala ibangelwa ebuntwaneni, nokuba kungafunwa ngumzali okanye umntu okhathalelayo, okanye ukusweleka komntu osondeleyo kubo ngokugula okanye ukwenzakala.
Abanye abantu bahlakulela imiba yokulahla emva ukungcatshwa okanye ubethwe ngumoya liqabane abalikhathaleleyo, kwaye amava afana nala anokubangela amanxeba amahle kakhulu anokuthatha ixesha elide ukuphola.
Oko akuthethi ukuba umntu onale micimbi akakufanelanga uthando: kuthetha nje ukuba kuthatha ukhathalelo olongezelelweyo ukophula ikhaka labo kwaye ubabonise ukuba ubakhathalele ngokwenyani, kwaye uceba ukunamathela ebomini babo.
Ukuba uthandana nomntu onemicimbi yokulahla, kufanelekile ukugcina ezi zinto zi-8 engqondweni.
1. Yiba nomonde kubo, kwaye unxibelelane nabo.
Lo mntu iindonga zakhe zobuqu ziya kuyibeka kwiBastille ihlazo. Abazithembi ngokulula, kwaye unogada wabo uya kunyuka kwinqanaba lokuqala ukuba bangonzakala. Yilungiselele le nto ukuze ingakubambisi okanye ikhubekise xa isenzeka.
Bahlala bebholita kwintlebendwane encinci yokungaqiniseki kubudlelwane, ngakumbi ukuba bacinga ukuba kukho izinto ezenzekayo abangazaziyo, kungoko kubaluleke kakhulu ukuhlakulela unxibelelwano oluvulelekileyo.
Nokuba unxibelelwano luthi aluhambelani okanye lunzima, luya kuhamba indlela ende yokwenza ukuba baqonde ukuba banokukuthemba ngokwenene, kwaye kufanelekile ixesha kunye nomzamo.
2.Qaphela ukuba ayibhekisi kuwe.
Ukuba kunjalo Ukurhoxiswa okanye umona ogqithileyo Nceda uncede uqonde ukuba awenzanga kwanto ukwenza le ndlela yokuziphatha: banokubona uhlobo oluthile lokufana phakathi kwemeko yangoku kunye nento abanamava kuyo kwiminyaka eyadlulayo, kwaye basabela kwiimvakalelo eziqhutywa yile nto, endaweni yoko ngaphezu kwale yenzekayo ngoku.
Banokuphazamiseka kwaye baziphathe kakubi, bakushiye uhleli apho ungonwabanga, uzibuza ukuba ingaba yintoni le uyenzileyo ukuze ubenako ukuphendula, ngelixa eneneni ikukukhumbula nje ukuba kwakunjani ukwenzakaliswa ngaphaya komlinganiselo nokwenza yonke into amandla abo okuphepha ukwenzakalisa kwakhona.
Kwakhona, ukuba unako, nceda ubanyamezele. Bakhuthaze ukuba bathethe nawe malunga nendlela abaziva ngayo xa sele behlile. Emva kokuba behlaselwe kukuphakuzela kunye nokudubuleka okunokwenzeka, baya kuziva benentloni kakhulu ngokuziphatha kwabo. Ukuba usebenza ngokubambisana, banokukhula ukusuka kumava, kwaye inkxaso kunye nokuqinisekiswa kwakho kunokuyeka olo hlobo lwento ukuba lwenzeke rhoqo kwakhona.
zingaphi iintsuku ude ube ukuthandana
3. Soloko unyanisekile ngeemvakalelo zakho.
Nceda ungaziva ngathi kufuneka uhambe kwiigobolondo zamaqanda okanye uginye iimvakalelo zakho ukuzama ukunqanda ukuzicima. Banokubonakala bebuthathaka kwaye bebuthathaka ngamanye amaxesha, kodwa ubukhulu becala kungenxa yokuba bacinga yonke into kwaye bahlala bephaphile, bezama ukufunda 'phakathi kwemigca' ukubona ukuba uza kubenzakalisa okanye ubashiye ngokuthe ngqo.
Ukuba le nto iyakucaphukisa okanye iyakukhathaza, thetha nabo ngayo endaweni yokuyifaka ebhodleleni kwaye uhlale uthule, okanye uzama ukubenza bakholelwe ukuba akukho nto iphosakeleyo. Ngokwenza njalo, baya kuhlala bengakhuselekanga ngakumbi kuba baya kuziva ukuba ubafihlela izinto, kwaye uphakathi emnyango, uhamba.
Musa ukuthandabuza ukunxibelelana kakhulu, ngokunzulu. Aba bantu banokukhetha ukuba ubaxelele malunga nezinto ezincinci eziqhubekayo ebomini bakho ukuze bazive ngathi bayinxalenye ebalulekileyo yoko. Okungakumbi onokukwenza ukuze ubaqinisekise ukuba babalulekile, ngcono. Bayayidinga loo nto, kwaye xa baziva bekhuselekile kwaye bekhuselekile kubudlelwane, baya kuba nakho ukuvula kuwe kwaye babe liqabane olifunayo emva koko.
4. Zilungiselele ukubonisa ubungqina bakho.
Obunye ubunzima obukhulu ekuthandeni umntu ngemicimbi yokulahla kukuba uninzi lwazo lonakaliswe ngokuphindaphindiweyo luhlobo olufanayo lwabantu, amaxesha ngamaxesha. Bayakulindela ukuba ubenzakalise ngendlela efanayo, kwaye baya kulungiselela isihlangu ukuba siwe, oko kukuthi.
Khawucinge ngale meko: Khawufane ucinge ngenja egcinwe ngumnini wayo ophethe gadalala.
Umnini uziphatha ngobumnene kwinja okwethutyana, emva koko uyikhaba, ibangele iintlungu… kodwa emva koko ubenobubele kwakhona okwexeshana. Kude kube bayayikhaba kwakhona, kwaye iphethini iyaziphinda. Inja ke yamkelwe ngomnye umnakekeli… onobubele enjeni okwethutyana, bade bathathe isigqibo sokuyikhaba nayo.
Emva kwemijikelezo embalwa nabantu abambalwa abohlukeneyo, loo nja iya kuba isifundile isifundo sokuba nabuphi na ububele obuncinci buya kulandelwa kukukhaba okubuhlungu. Kungathatha ixesha elininzi, umgudu, umonde, kunye nokuqinisekisa ukuqinisekisa loo nja ukuba ngeli xesha, iyakwahluka. Isenokungaze ithembele ngokupheleleyo ukuba ukukhaba akuyi kuza, ukuba ayizukuphinda yenzakalise, kodwa ngokuhamba kwexesha inokuphumla ngokwaneleyo ukuba ikhathalelwe kwaye ithande ngaphezulu kunangaphambili.
Kuyafana nakumntu onemicimbi yokulahla. Kunzima kakhulu ukufumana ukuthembela kulowo wonakaliswe kakubi ngabanye, kodwa ukuba ungagqitha kwindlela yabo yokuzikhusela kwaye ubabonise ukuba awufani nabo babebakhathaza ngaphambili, uyakumjonga lo mntu uthando luqhakaza kwizinto ezimangalisayo bezisoloko zinamandla okuba.
5. Musa ukubenza bathethe kakubi ngawe.
Ukuba bazibeka phantsi, bethetha ngendlela abaziziyatha ngayo ngokuziva ngale ndlela baziva ngayo, okanye becela uxolo ngendlela 'abaphuke' ngayo, zama ukungabaniki amandla ngokubaxelela nje ukuba hayi, bayaphazama. Oko kuyakwenza ukuba bangaziva njani, kwaye bayakugqiba bathethe izinto ezifanayo kwixesha elizayo xa bephula kancinci.
Endaweni yoko, zama indlela apho umamele khona ngokukuko, kodwa uzama ukuba babone imeko ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo.
6. Qonda ukuba abaziphathi ngale ndlela ngenjongo.
Akunjalo. Ngokwenene, ngenene abekho.
Abayi kuthanda nto ngaphezulu kokuwela nje ezingalweni zakho kunye themba ngokupheleleyo kwinto yokuba ubonakala unguye kwaye banokonwaba ngokugqibeleleyo kwaye bakhuselekile kubudlelwane nawe, kodwa amava abo abafundise ngenye indlela, amaxesha ngamaxesha.
7. Bakhumbuze ukuba kutheni ubathanda.
Endaweni yengubo nje “ Ndiyakuthandana , ”Baxelele kakuhle ukuba ubakhathalele kangakanani. Ngaphandle kwamathandabuzo baxelelwe abanye ukuba bayathandwa, kwaye loo magama ajike aba lilize nentsingiselo xa bephela bekwenzakala… kodwa ukugxila kwizinto ezibonakalayo oziqapheleyo kubo kubenza babone ukuba uhoye ukuba ngubani: kwinto abayenzayo.
Imizekelo embalwa inokuba zizinto ezinje:
- Ndiyayithanda ngokwenene indlela onobubele ngayo kwizilwanyana.
- Ndiyayixabisa umgudu owenzayo ukwenza ___ kum, kuba uyazi ukuba ndiyayithanda.
- Unoncumo oluhle: kuyamangalisa ukukubona ukhanya ngokuqaqambileyo xa wonwabile.
- Incwadi ondicebise ngayo yayigqibelele. Unolwazi oluqinisekileyo malunga noko ndikuthandayo, kwaye ndiyayixabisa loo nto.
Njl.
Ukubonwa kunye nokuviwa kubaluleke ngokungakholelekiyo, kwaye ukwaziswa kwabo kungenza umahluko kubo. Ezi zihlala zinobubele kakhulu, zinika abantu abathanda ngokunzulu kwaye baxhamla, ke ukuze uxatyiswe yinto abayenzayo yinto enkulu yokubabonisa ukuba uyakhathala.
8. Bancede, kodwa ungazami ukuzilungisa.
Ukuba uthandana nomntu onemicimbi yokulahla, unokuziva unoxanduva lokuba ngandlela thile 'uphilise' 'ulungise' kubo iintlungu kunye nokwenzakala kwabo.
Ngelixa ungaziva ngale ndlela ngenxa yobubele kunye nomnqweno wokubabona bephila ubomi obonwabisayo, khumbula ukuba obu bubomi babo, hayi obakho.
Kananjalo, awunakubeka ubunzima bokuphilisa kwabo emagxeni akho, kuba ayingowakho ukuba ubuthwale.
Kukho umahluko phakathi kokunceda umntu nokumlungisa. Indima yakho kukunceda kwaye ulungiselele uhambo lwabo lokuphilisa ngelixa ubanika inkululeko yokuhamba ngesantya sabo, ukubuyela umva ngamanye amaxesha, ukuzama izinto ezahlukeneyo, ukusilela, ukuphakama nokuzama kwakhona.
Awunako ukuthatha imicimbi yabo yokulahla - ungabambelela kubo kwaye ulandele ezinye iingcebiso kweli nqaku ukubonelela ngesiqinisekiso.
Ukuthanda umntu ngale micimbi kungakhathaza ngamanye amaxesha, kodwa wakuba ubancedile ukuba basebenzise uloyiko lwabo, ngokungathandabuzekiyo uya kuba nelona qabane linothando nelinokuthelekiswa, kuba nje uzibonakalisile ukuba uyakhathala hlala.
Ngaba awuqinisekanga ukuba wenzeni malunga nexhala lokushiywa liqabane lakho?Akunyanzelekanga ukuba ufumane yonke into ngokwakho ngamanqaku anje. Ungasifumana isikhokelo osifunayo kumcebisi wezobuhlobo oqeqeshiweyo. Baza kuba nakho ukukunceda uhambe kwimiceli mngeni onokuba nayo kulwalamano olunje.Thetha kwi-Intanethi kwingcali evela kwiHelshipship Hero enokuhamba kuyo yonke into kwaye uphendule nayiphi na imibuzo onokuba nayo. Ngokulula.
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