Ke uthethile okanye wenze into eyenzakalise omnye umntu. Kwaye kuba ufuna ukuxolelwa, loo mntu mhlawumbi ngumntu omkhathaleleyo.
Kodwa wenza njani ukuba umntu akuxolele? Ngaba unako ubenza bakuxolele?
Impendulo emfutshane yile: hayi, awunakunyanzela umntu ukuba akuxolele. Uxolelo kufuneka luvele kubo, xa beziva bekwazi kwaye xa belungile. Basenokungaze balunge, kwaye kuya kufuneka uyamkele loo nto.
Oko kuthethiwe, kukho amanyathelo onokuwathatha ukuze uxolelo lube nokwenzeka. Kukho izinto onokuthi uzenze kwaye uzenze ukubanceda bafikelele kwindawo apho banokuhamba ngaphaya kwento oyenzileyo.
La manyathelo ngala:
1. Bonakalisa ukuzisola ngezenzo zakho.
Omnye umntu uya kukufumanisa kulula kakhulu ukukuxolela xa ubonakalisa ukuzisola ngokwenyani. Oku kuqala ngokucela uxolo okusebenzayo.
“Ndifuna ukuxolisa ngokwenza…”
“Ndicela uxolo ngoku…”
'Bekungafanelekanga ukuba ndiyenzile i-X. Ndingathanda ukuxolisa kuwe ngo…'
Eyona ndlela yokuhambisa intetho yokuzisola kukuqaqambisa ngokuthe ngqo isenzo esiyingozi. Ngale ndlela, unxibelelana ukuba uyiqonde kakuhle ingxaki nendlela emenzakalisa ngayo omnye umntu.
Abantu ekunzima ukuba bacele uxolo ngezinto banokukufumanisa kunzima ukukwenza. Musa ukujika okanye uzame ukunciphisa ukuba yintoni isenzo esiyingozi. Yeyakho. Yeyakho ukulungisa. Kwaye ngekhe ukwazi ukuyilungisa okanye ukwaphula ukuthembana ngaphandle kokuba ngumnini senzo ngokuthe ngqo.
2. Nika inkcazo elinganiselweyo yokuba izinto zonakala njani.
Inkcazo encinci yolungelelwaniso emva kokhetho lwakho inokuba ilungile. Abantu banokubethwa okanye baphoswe yile ngcaciso, nangona kunjalo. Abanye abantu bafuna enye, abanye abantu abayifuni.
Abanye abantu bajonga ukuchaza njengokuphazamisa ingozi ebangelwe. Abanye bakubona njengokuvuma ukuba uyaqonda ukuba ubangele impazamo.
Isisombululo esisebenzayo koku kukuba yigcine kwisivakalisi esinye okanye ubuze ukuba bafuna ingcaciso kwaphela.
Ndivile ukuba le yeyona nto ilungileyo ukuyenza kwaye andiqondanga ukuba izakuba buhlungu. '
'Khange ndicinge ngendlela izenzo zam ezinokukuchaphazela ngayo.'
Ndenze isigqibo esibi. ”
Akunyanzelekanga ukuba ibenzima okanye yoyike. Ukuba umntu ufuna inkcazo engakumbi, mnike ngokuthe ngqo kangangoko unako.
3. Lwamkele uxanduva lwakho.
Ukwamkela uxanduva lwakho kuthetha ukuba neentshukumo zakho kwaye ungazami ukunciphisa indima yakho kule ngxaki.
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Uxolo kufuneka lujolise kukuzisola onakho ngezenzo zakho kunye nendlela abamchaphazele ngayo omnye umntu.
Yintoni ekufuneka uyiphephe Utshintshela naliphina ityala komnye umntu, nokuba ucinga ukuba kungagunyaziseka.
Umzekelo olungileyo ngumntu onoburharha okhubekisa umhlobo wakhe ongenaburharha. Ewe, amazwi abawathethile njengesiqhulo kunye nokubamba umhlobo wabo kusenokwenzeka ukuba babengenanjongo yokwenzakalisa, kodwa babeyinyani.
Into emelwe kukwenziwa ngumhlobo wakho ukutshintsha ityala ngokuthetha into enje, 'Kulungile, ndiyaxolisa ukuba ukhubekile yintloni yam,' kuba ijongela phantsi iimvakalelo zomhlobo kwaye ayisiwo uxolo.
Umhlobo okrwada usenze ukhetho lokuwela imida yomhlobo wabo onovakalelo. Uxolo malube malunga nokhetho lomhlobo olubi, hayi imida yomhlobo ontununtunu.
Kuyafana nangokutshintsha ityala kumntu wangaphandle okanye kwinto ethile. Ukuba uzama ukuthethelela izenzo zakho ngokuthi yayiyimpazamo yomnye umntu okanye enye into, uyala ukuba nezenzo zakho, kwaye oku akunakuhlala kakuhle kumntu ofuna ukuxolelwa kuye.
Ilizwi ‘Kodwa’ Ngoyena mntu ubekekileyo kwezo meko. “Ndiyaxolisa, kodwa…” yindlela eyoyikekayo yokuqala ukucela uxolo kuba izama ukuphepha uxanduva lwento oyithethileyo okanye oyenzileyo.
4. Nika inkcazo encinci yento oza kuyitshintsha.
Uxolelo lunokufika ngokulula emntwini omonzakalisileyo ukuba ubonakalisa ukuzimisela ukutshintsha iindlela zakho kwixa elizayo.
Ukuxolisa kuya kuthetha okuninzi ngakumbi ukuba uyachaza ukuba uza kutshintsha indlela oziphethe ngayo ukuze umelane nentlungu kwaye uqiniseke ukuba ayiphindi yenzeke.
Ngamanye amaxesha oko kunokwenzeka, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha akunjalo. Umhlobo okrwada unokuthatha isigqibo sokukhathalela ngakumbi kwimida yomhlobo onobuthathaka. Kwakhona kunokwenzeka ukuba bangaziva ngathi kufuneka batshintshe loo nxalenye yobuntu babo kwaye bathathe isigqibo sokuba bafanele bafumane abanye abantu abanesimo esifanayo sokuhleka ukuze baxhomeke endaweni yoko.
Njengoko inxulumene nokuziphatha okungalunganga, inkcazo yendlela onokutshintsha ngayo indlela yokuziphatha inokuqinisa uxolo, kodwa kuphela ukuba olo tshintsho luyenzeka. Ngaphandle koko uxolo kunye nezithembiso zotshintsho zinokubuyela umva xa zingalandelwanga.
Mhlawumbi umhlobo uhlala efika emva kwexesha, uhlala ecela uxolo ngokufika emva kwexesha, kwaye aqhubeke nokufika emva kwexesha.
Ke kuyacaca ukuba khange baxolise ngayo kwasekuqaleni. Okanye mhlawumbi bekunjalo, kodwa bangaxolisi ngokwaneleyo ukuba bangazikhathaza ngokutshintsha indlela abaziphethe ngayo okanye ukucwangcisa ixesha labo ngokwahlukileyo.
ulubonisa njani uthando lwakho
Ewe, ukutshintsha indlela yokuziphatha akusoloko kulula okanye kunokwenzeka. Mhlawumbi banezinye iimbopheleleko ezenza kube nzima ukugcina ixesha. Ukuzama ukugcina abantwana kwishedyuli ngalo lonke ixesha yinto engenakwenzeka, umzekelo.
Kule meko, kunokuba ngcono hayi ukunikezela ngenguqu kwindlela oziphethe ngayo, kodwa uthethe nje ngokuphandle nomntu omonzakalisileyo okanye ongaphazamisekanga kwaye uchaze nokuba kutheni ungenakuthembisa ukuba uza kufika ngexesha. Ukunyaniseka kunokuvumela loo mntu ukuba axolele ngakumbi ngoku nakwixesha elizayo.
5. Cela ukulungisa ingxaki oyenzileyo.
Soloko unikezela ukulungisa ingxaki eyenziwe yintshukumo yakho. Oku kuyakuhamba indlela ende kubo ukuba bakuxolele.
Ewe ingxaki isenokungacaci kwaye icace gca. Ukuba akubonakali ngathi kukho ingxaki ekhawulezileyo yokujongana, ungabuza loo mntu ukuba ngaba ikhona into onokuyenza ukuyilungisa.
Banokuba nolwazo uluvo malunga nokuba kuya kuthatha ntoni ukulungisa le meko. Kwaye ungafumanisa ukuba ukuxolisa kwamkelwa ngokulula xa unokulungisa umonakalo owenzileyo.
6. Cela uxolelo.
Ngaba cela uxolelo.
“Ungandixola?” Lo mbuzo ulula unokuba sisiqalo senkqubo kuba kuhlobo lwabantu abaninzi ukuzama ukwenza into xa bebuzwa.
Kwakhona, ukuba ungumntu onobunzima bokucela uxolo, oku kunokuba yinto enzima yokwenza. Ungazami ukuyicutha, uyithambise, okanye uyiphephe. Yiba ngqo kwaye ucace gca.
Uninzi lwabantu abaphilileyo ngokweemvakalelo kunye noluntu olunobuchule ekuhlaleni luya kuqonda ukuba kukho ii-hiccups kubo nabuphi na ubuhlobo okanye ubudlelwane. Ngamanye amaxesha senza ukhetho olubi kuba leyo yinxalenye nje yokuba ngumntu. Akukho namnye kuthi ongaphezulu koko.
Ungumnini wayo, cela ukuxolelwa, kwaye ulwele ukuyilungisa. Ukwenza oko kuya kukunceda wakhe kwaye ugcine ubuhlobo obunempilo kunye nobudlelwane nabantu obakhathaleleyo.
Ngaba awuqinisekanga ukuba ungenza ntoni ukuze umntu akuxolele? Thetha kwi-Intanethi kwingcali yobudlelwane kwi-Relationship Hero enokukunceda ufumane izinto. Ngokulula.
Ukuqhubeka kokufunda ngokuxolisa kunye noxolelo:
