Ukubhala ileta yoxolelo kunokuba yinxalenye emangalisayo yohambo lwakho lokuphilisa.
Lithuba lokuba ukhuphe zonke iintlobo zentlungu, ikunike indawo ekhuselekileyo yokuchaza zonke iimvakalelo zakho ngaphandle kokukhathazeka ngesigwebo okanye isohlwayo.
ungaxelela njani ukuba umfana ufuna nje ngokwesondo
Amathuba kukuba, ngaxa lithile, ukhe wehlelwa yimeko ekwenze waziva ungenamandla, okanye wakukhathaza ngokunzulu, okanye wakwenza waziva ungakwazi ukubonakalisa iimvakalelo zakho.
Oku kungenzeka kuba ubungekho kwindawo ekhuselekileyo ngokwaneleyo ukuze ukwazi ukuxelela loo mntu indlela oziva ngayo, okanye ngekhe ube nethuba lokwenza njalo, njengaxa ulahliwe okanye usiporho.
Enoba ujongana neemvakalelo ezingachazwanga ezihlala zikrunqa esiswini sakho, okanye i-PTSD ekukhathaza rhoqo, ileta yoxolelo inokukunceda ngeendlela ezininzi ezahlukeneyo.
Funda ukuze ufunde indlela yokubhala enye, kunye nendlela isenzo sokukhupha iingcinga kunye neemvakalelo zakho ephepheni ezinokuphilisa kakhulu.
Yintoni ileta yoxolelo, kanye kanye?
Ngamagama alula, yileta uyibhalela umntu okulimazileyo.
Ngale leta unethuba lokuphalaza iingcinga neemvakalelo zakho ngayo yonke into eyenzekileyo phakathi kwakho malunga nendlela ezikuchaphazele ngayo izenzo zabo, kunye nendlela oziva ngayo ngazo.
Kubalulekile ukuba ukhumbule ukuba amava abuhlungu awapholi ngokukhawuleza. Ngapha koko, banokudala iintlungu ezingapheliyo ezinokuphinda zide emva kokuba isehlo senzekile.
Oku kuyinyani ngakumbi ukuba asikaze sibe nethuba lokuvalwa, njengaxa iqabane lisonzakalisile kakhulu laze lasiporisa, okanye ukuba sihlaselwe ngumntu esingamaziyo esingazange sibe nethuba lokujongana naye.
Lo mntu akazange azi ngomonakalo awenzileyo, kwaye ngekhe ube nethuba lokukhulula zonke iingcinga kunye neemvakalelo ozive malunga nesiganeko.
Lowo monakalo unokukhula ukuba awuchazwanga, kwaye ubonakalise ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo: ngokwasemzimbeni, ngokweemvakalelo nangokomoya. Umzekelo, kwiMveli yeMveli yaseTshayina (TCM), kukholelwa ukuba amatye ezintso abangelwa ngumsindo ongachazwanga.
Ngokuqinisekileyo, ngekhe ube nethuba lokuxelela ijezi ukuba ngubani owakukhathaza ngendlela oziva ngayo ngabo ubuso ngobuso - abanokuze bafumanise konke konke- kodwa ileta yoxolelo yeyona ilungileyo.
Ngexesha lakho, ngokweemeko zakho, ubhala yonke into owakha wafuna ukuyithetha kulo mntu.
Ungathetha izinto ngendlela othanda ngayo, ukusuka ekukhutshweni okusuka entliziyweni ukuya kubushushu.
Yonke into oziva ilungile.
Yonke into oziva ukuba isebenza.
Bhala phantsi konke, khupha.
Ngokwenza njalo, ubeka yonke into ebanjelwe ngaphakathi, ukukhathazeka, kunye nomsindo, ukuze umntu okuhlukumeze angaphindi ahlawule irente engqondweni yakho, emzimbeni, okanye emphefumlweni.
Ikunceda Njani Ukuphilisa?
Ileta yoxolelo ikuvumela ukuba uthathe ulawulo kwimeko enokuthi ikwenze uzive ungenakunceda.
Uthatha zonke iimvakalelo oziva ngenxa yale nto kwaye uzenze zibambeke, ngokwasemzimbeni, ngosiba kunye nephepha.
Esi senzo sinika amandla ngendlela engummangaliso, njengoko sikunika ubukhosi bakho kwakhona, ngelixa sikunceda ukukhulula iintlungu ekunokwenzeka ukuba zihamba ngaphakathi kuwe iminyaka.
Enye yezona zinto zibalulekileyo ekufuneka uzikhumbule xa kufikwa kuxolelo olukhulu kukuba ayibhekiseli komnye umntu - imalunga wena .
Umfundisi wamaLuthere uNadia Bolz-Weber wenze udliwanondlebe olunomdla kodwa-ngokufutshane osihloko sithi ' Xolela ama-Assholes '.
Kuyo, uchaza indlela xa abantu besenzakalisa, siphela siqhotyoshelwe kuloo mpatho-gadalala njengoluhlobo lwetyathanga.
Oko kubambelela kwintlungu abayenzileyo kuphelela nje ekusenzakaliseni ethubeni.
Uhlobo olufana nokubamba amalahle avuthayo: siza kuqala ukuphilisa kwakamsinya nje ukuba siyeke.
Kodwa ukuba asenzi njalo, endaweni yokuphilisa kule nto yenziwe lutshaba lwethu kuthi, sisenokugqibela ngokufana nabo ngenxa yentlungu nobukrakra bethu.
UBolz-Weber uqinisa umbono wokuba ukuxolela abantu abasenzakalisayo akusenzi sibuthathaka, okanye iidolophu, kodwa kunoko 'yi-badass' kunoko.
Ngokuxolela i-jerk, siyaphuma kwi-mindset yexhoba kwaye sisebenzisa iiseti ze-bolt-cutter-cuters, ngaloo ndlela sikhetha ukunqamla loo ntambo isasibophelela kubo.
Siyazomeleza, kwaye sithathe inyathelo lokuzikhulula kubo ngonaphakade.
Ngokusisiseko, isenzo sethu sithi: 'Le nto uyenzileyo ibingalunganga kangangokuba andivumi ukunxibelelana nayo kwakhona' .
Yile nto le leta yoxolelo ingakwenzela yona.
Unokuthanda (inqaku liyaqhubeka ngezantsi):
ndiyamthanda okanye andimthandi
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- Uyiyeka Njani Ixesha Elidlulileyo: 16 Akukho Bullsh * t Iingcebiso!
- Izinto ezi-6 eziphambili onokuzenza ukuze ufumane uxolo lwangaphakathi
Uhamba njani ngokubhala enye
Akukho namnye 'olungileyo' indlela yokwenza malunga nokubhala uxolelo lwakho ileta: konke kungumbandela wokhetho lomntu ngamnye.
Abanye abantu bayathanda ukubuyisa ixesha apho babenzakele, ke zonke iimvakalelo zabo zintsha kwaye ziluhlaza xa bezichitha ephepheni.
Ukuba le yinto isebenza kakuhle kuwe, ekunceda ukuba ukhuphe iintlungu ezindala, emva koko yiya!
Gcina ezinye izicubu ziluncedo.
Abanye bakhetha ukuzola kunye noxolo, bekhetha ukugxila kuhlobo lwe-catharsis abafuna ukuyizuza ngale nyathelo.
Bazakubeka bucala ixesha apho bengazukuphazanyiswa, babeke umculo omnene obakhuthazayo, balayite amakhandlela okanye isiqhumiso, kwaye babeke zonke iinjongo zabo zokuxolelwa nokukhululwa.
Njengoko bekutshiwo ngaphambili, kubalulekile ukuba ukhumbule ukuba oku kuxolelwa akukho malunga nokuxolela omnye umntu (okanye abantu) kuzo zonke izinto ezimbi abazenzileyo kuwe.
Imalunga nokuqhawula nayiphi na imisonto eseleyo egcina ibotshelelwe kuwe ukuze uyishiye kwixesha lakho elidlulileyo kwaye ungaze ujonge ngasemva.
Nangona kunjalo ukhetha ukuya kweyakho, nokuba ikwiikhrayoni ezirhabaxa okanye usiba lomthombo, kwinto yokubhala efanelekileyo okanye kwiphepha elilahliweyo, kulungile kakhulu.
Konke malunga injongo .
Qinisekisa ukuba yileta ebonakalayo, kunokuba i-imeyile oya kuyicima.
Ukuba unobunzima ngokuxakeka kwemoto kwaye kulula kuwe ukuba uchwetheze izinto ngaphandle kokuzibhala ngesandla, akukho ngxaki: yiprinte wakugqiba ukuyibamba ezandleni zakho, kwaye uyilahle ngokwasemzimbeni.
Isenzo sokudlulisa isiphithiphithi sangaphakathi sakho kwinto ebonakalayo ngumlingo, apha.
Ukucofa nje 'ukucima' kwi-imeyile akunawo amandla e-OOMPH afunekayo ukwenza utshintsho lwenene lwenzeke.
Yintoni omawuyenze ngencwadi yakho yoxolelo?
Kuba ujoliso lwalo mzamo ingumbono wokuyeka, eyona nto intle onokuyenza ngencwadi yoxolelo kukuyilahla.
Gcina ukhumbula ukuba uthulula uninzi lweemvakalelo zokungena ngaphakathi kule nto ebonakalayo, ke kungcono ungagcini ekhayeni lakho wakugqiba.
Ukuba uyayenza, uyakuqonda ngokungacacanga ukuba isekhona, kwaye ubukho bayo bunokungena engqondweni nasemoyeni wakho.
Usenokungazi kwangoko ukuba ikhupha zonke iintlobo zamandla amabi, kodwa ukuba isekhona, kunjalo ke nangeemvakalelo zakho malunga nomntu obhalele yena.
Kufuneka uyikhuphe loo sh * t.
ngubani liza koshy ukuthandana
Kubantu abaninzi-nam ndibandakanyile- Ukutshisa ezi leta yenye yezona zithethe zecathartic onokucinga ngazo.
Bhala igama lomamkeli kwimvulophu (kathathu ukuba ufuna ngokwenene ukwenza umlingo ngayo), kwaye uyitywine ileta ungene kuyo. Abanye abantu bade bathande ukubopha umtya kwimvulophu ngokunjalo, ukufuzisela ukubopha okanye ukubopha okungamandla.
Akunyanzelekanga ukuba uyitshise ileta ukuba uziva ungakhululekanga ngokwenza njalo, okanye ukuba ukubeka into emlilweni kunokuba yingozi kwindawo yakho.
Endaweni yoko, unako ungcwabe ngaphandle, uyilahle, okanye uyiqhekeze ngebhakethi lamanzi. Umba ophambili yintshabalalo yohlobo oluthile.
Ukuba ukhetha ukuseta ileta ngomlilo, nceda wenze njalo ngendlela ekhuselekileyo engayi kukucima, ikhaya lakho, indawo ekuyo, okanye umhlaba wendalo.
Bukela iphepha njengoko livutha, kwaye ubenombono wazo zonke iingcinga kunye neemvakalelo ezisakubophelela kuloo mntu ukukhukuliseka kunye nomsi.
Akuzukuthatha thuba lide ukuba ileta incitshiswe ibe lilize, kwaye njengoko isenza njalo, ungaziva ngathi zonke ezo ntlungu zindala zidilika zaba luthuthu kunye nayo.
Xa loo mlotha sele upholile ngokupheleleyo kwaye kungekho bungozi beentlantsi, ungawuvuthulula uthuthu emoyeni, uwusasaze ngaphandle, okanye uwugungxule. Ifowuni yakho.
Khumbula ukuba Oku kwenzelwe wena, ayikokuvisa kabuhlungu
Abanye abantu baziva belingeka ukuba bathumele iileta ezinje emntwini / kubantu ababenzakalisayo, ngethemba lokuzixhobisa ngokuba nelizwi lokugqibela.
Oku akusoze kuhambe kakuhle, ngakumbi ukuba ujongene ne-narcissist, i-sociopath, okanye umntu onesiphene kubuntu obunemida.
Ngokuqinisekileyo, ungaziva ulonwabo lwethutyana kunye nokuvalwa kuba nguwe othathe amanyathelo… kodwa omnye umntu angaziva ngathi ulungelelwaniso lulungile, kwaye uya kuziphindezela ngo 'f ** k-wena' unobumba ngokwabo.
… Eyakuphela ikwenzakalisa kwakhona, eya kuthi ifune enye incwadi yoxolelo yokuzixhobisa nokuziphilisa, njl.
Ngumjikelo ombi ongafuniyo ukuba ubhajwe kuwo.
Le leta imalunga nawe: ukuphinda umisele amandla akho, uphilise amanxeba amadala, kwaye usebenzise ilizwi lakho ukubonisa yonke into oyifunayo.
Into yokugqibela ofuna ukuyenza kukuvula iminyango yalowo (s) wakonzakalisayo ukuze akwazi ukwenza njalo kwakhona.
Yenza ukuziphilisa kwakho, ukuzixhobisa, kunye nokuzikhathalela kuqala, apha.
Nokuba ufuna ngenene umamkeli wencwadi ukuba onwabe kwaye azalisekiswe ebomini babo njengenxalenye yenkqubo yakho yokuphilisa, vele ubeke injongo ngokwengqondo nangokomoya.
Beka konke kwileta, kwaye njengoko ivutha, cinga ukuba umsi uphephezela naphi na apho bakhoyo kwaye ubanike uxolo.
Kodwa oku kwenzelwe wena, hayi bona.
Nokuba ubanqwenelela okuhle, okanye ubakhwaza ephepheni, vumela esi senzo soxolelo siqhawule zonke iintambo kwaye sivale zonke iingcango kubo ngonaphakade.
Abo bantu, nayo yonke intlungu abayenze kuwe, bakudala.
Kwaye awuhlali apho kwakhona.
