Zininzi izizathu ezibangela ukuba uzive ufuna ukuzixolela.
Mhlawumbi ukhathaze umntu. Mhlawumbi uxokile. Ngaba wenze into eyoyikekayo (ubuncinci, emehlweni akho)?
Ngaba kukopela iqabane? Ngaba uyazisola ngobomi bakho?
Ngaba uzama ukuya phambili kwiimpazamo ezidlulileyo?
Uvumile ukuba umntu akwenzakalise?
Nokuba injani imeko, ungayifumana njani indlela yokuzixolela ngezinto ozenzileyo?
Inkqubo yokuziva ubhetele malunga nawe inokuba nde, kodwa Nazi ezinye iingcebiso zokunceda ukukhawulezisa izinto.
1. Fumana ngokuthe ngqo malunga nezinto ekufuneka zixolelwe.
Ukuxolelwa ngokubanzi okugubungela zonke iziseko ezinokwenzeka akusebenzi ngokukodwa.
Awunakho ukuyeka naziphi na iimvakalelo ezingalunganga de uchonge ngokuchanekileyo ukuba zinxulumene nantoni na.
Leliphi ityala olicinga ukuba lifuna ukuxolelwa?
Yaphule kwaye uqwalasele iziphumo ezibi zezenzo zakho.
Masithi, umzekelo, ukuba sijongana nokungathembeki kubudlelwane. Zeziphi izinto ofuna uxolelo ngazo?
Ukusondelelana ngokwasemzimbeni nangokweemvakalelo owabelana ngako nomnye umntu yindawo ebonakalayo yokuqala.
Emva koko kukho ukwaphuka kokuthembana kunye nentlungu oyenze kwiqabane lakho.
Kodwa uthini malunga nobuxoki obuthethileyo, okanye ixesha ophulukene nalo ngenxa yokuthandana kwakho?
Ukucaciswa ngokwenyani kuyanceda ekuqondeni imeko yomonakalo obangelwe zizenzo zakho kunye nento ekufuneka usebenzele kuyo, kokubini ngokusebenza nangokweemvakalelo.
2. Yazi ukuba awusileli.
Akukho ogqibelele. AKUKHO MNTU!
Abantu bayajija. Bayazenza iimpazamo. Benza izinto abaziyo ukuba abamele bazenze.
Sobabini sibuthathaka ngokwengqondo nangokweemvakalelo ngamanye amaxesha.
Siyanikezela kwisilingo. Asicingi ngezenzo zethu. Sithatha umngcipheko ongafanelekanga.
Awuzange, awukho, kwaye awusoze ugqibelele.
Ukuzixolela kulula kakhulu xa uyamkela ngokwenyani le nyaniso ingenakuphikiswa.
Uyakuqonda ukuba imigangatho ozibambayo nayo ayiyonyani kwaye kufuneka uzisike kancinci kancinci ngoku.
Oku akufani nokuxolela, ukuphika, okanye ukuxolela into oyenzileyo. Ayisiyiyo le nto uxolelo ngayo.
3. Musa ukuzigweba ngokujonga emva.
“Ubumele ukuba uyazi ngcono!”
Leyo yingqondo yakho ekuxelela ukuba usisidenge ngokuziphatha ngendlela owenze ngayo.
Kodwa yingqondo yanamhlanje, hayi eyayizolo.
ndalala naye ngoku yintoni
Konke kulungile kwaye kuhle ukujonga ngasemva entweni kwaye uqaphele ukuba yayisisidenge.
Kodwa ngalo mzuzu, xa ingcinga esengqiqweni isilela kuwe kwaye amandla ovakalelo ethatha indawo, akukho lula kangako ukwenza into elungileyo.
Musa ukugweba wena wezolo ngokujonga emva kwanamhlanje.
Njengoko isitsho njalo: “Kulula ukuba nobulumko emva kwesiganeko.”
4. Vuma isono sakho ngokuphandle.
Ukuba kukho into engalunganga ebandakanya omnye umntu, kungcono ukuba ucoceke kubo.
Umzekelo, uzokulwela ukuzixolela ngokuxoka de ube uvume.
Ukuba uqhubeka ubambelele emfihlakalweni, uyaqhubeka nokubambelela kumthwalo weemvakalelo ohamba nayo.
Nokuba kunzima kangakanani na, kuya kufuneka ubonakalise izinto ozenzileyo ezingalunganga ebantwini.
Le ngcebiso ihlala ibaluleke kakhulu, kodwa kukho iimeko apho kungafuneki ngokupheleleyo.
Umzekelo, ukuzisola ngokhetho olwenzileyo kwixa elidlulileyo olukuchaphazelayo kuphela kunye nendlela yobomi bakho - engadingi kwamkelwa.
Kodwa nangona kunjalo, kunokuba luncedo ukuxoxa ngokuzisola nomntu omthembileyo. Ukuthetha ngayo kunokunceda ukuyenza ibe yeyokwenyani.
5. Musa ukuzohlwaya.
Kunokuba kukulinga ukuzibetha ngenxa yezinto ozenzileyo ezinokubakhathaza abanye, okanye unqwenela ukuba wenze ngokwahlukileyo.
Emva koko, sifundiswa ukususela kumncinci kakhulu ukuba izenzo zethu zineziphumo.
Kodwa kunokwenzeka ukuba uya kuziva ulungile kakade. Awudingi ukuqokelela isohlwayo esingakumbi.
Ukuba u ndiziva ngathi kufanelekile ukubandezeleka , Cinga kwakhona.
Ukuzixelela ukuba usisidenge kangakanani, uzifica ngaphakathi iindlela zokuzitshabalalisa , okanye unqwenela ukuba impindezelo ihanjiswe kuwe - akukho nanye kwezi zinto eyanceda.
Uxolelo yinkqubo enobulali nenobubele.
6. Buza ukuba ungazilungisa njani.
Nokuba ziphi na iziphumo ezibi zezenzo zakho, zinokubakho izinto onokuzenza ukwenza imeko ibengcono, ukuba kancinane nje.
Ukuba wone umntu othile, inyathelo lokuqala kuku ndicela uxolo ngokunyanisekileyo kulo mntu.
Basenokungakwazi yamkele uxolo lwakho kwangoko, kodwa linyathelo lokuqala elifunekayo ekupheliseni umsantsa ophakathi kwenu.
Ukusuka apho, unokucinga ngeendlela onokuthi ulungise ngazo ezinye zeziphoso ozenzileyo.
Ngamanye amaxesha ezi zinokuba zizenzo ezijongana ngqo nento oyenzileyo.
Ngamanye amaxesha, kuya kufuneka uqwalasele into onokuyenza eya kubuyisela ubuhlobo obonakaliswe zizenzo zakho ezimbi.
Ngokusebenza ukulungisa into oyenzileyo, uza kuqala uzive ngcono ngawe.
7. Musa ukubopha ukuzixolela uxolelo lwabanye.
Ukuba umonzakalisile umntu, kungathatha ixesha elide ukuxolela.
Ngapha koko, abanakuze bakwazi ukukuyeka ngokupheleleyo okwenzileyo.
Nangona kunokuba nzima ukuba uyamkele, akufuneki ime endleleni yokuba uzixolele.
Ngelixa kufuneka basebenze kwintlungu yabo yeemvakalelo, kuya kufuneka usebenze kweyakho.
Ngokwenza lo msebenzi kunye nokulungisa iimvakalelo zakho, unokukwazi ukuzixolela, nokuba umntu uziva njani.
ukushiywa ngaphandle kwimicimbi yosapho
8. Yamkela uxolelo yindlela elungileyo eya phambili.
Ngamanye amaxesha kunzima nokukholelwa ukuba ufanele ukuxolelwa.
Unokuyichasa imbono yokuba ungaziva ukhululekile ngokwasemphefumlweni ngale meko kwakhona, kuba okwangoku kubonakala kunzima kakhulu ukuyinyamezela.
Kubalulekile ukuba wamkele ukuba inkqubo yoxolelo ayilunganga kwaphela, kodwa kuphela kwendlela eya phambili ekhokelela kwikamva elingcono.
Ngaphandle kokuxolelwa, uya kudliwa kukuzisola. Liza kukulandela naphi na apho uya khona, njengesithunzi esikhumbuza ngento embi oyenzileyo.
Ayisiyonto oyifunayo. Ayisiyiyo le nto uyifaneleyo.
Unokuthanda (inqaku liyaqhubeka ngezantsi):
- Uxolela njani umntu: 2 Iimodeli eziSekwe kwiSayensi kuXolelo
- Uyiyeka Njani Ixesha Elidlulileyo
- Izakhono ezi-20 zokuPhepha ngokuSempilweni: Amacebo okuCutha iiMvakalelo eziGwenxa
- Unokonwaba kwakhona: Iingcebiso ezili-15 zokuphinda ufumane ulonwabo lwakho
9. Musa ukuhlala kwizinto ezidlulileyo.
Akunakwenzeka ukuba uzifumanele uxolelo ngokweemvakalelo ukuba uhlala uvumela ingqondo yakho ukuba iphinde iphinde iphinde iphinde iphinde yenzeke.
Iinkumbulo azingomboniso nje wezinto ezenzekileyo. Banokuvuselela iimvakalelo ezinamandla ezinxulumene nemeko.
Ke ngokuhlala uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uqhubeke.
Uyabathintela ukuba banganyibiliki, kwaye ngokwenza njalo uthintela ukuxolelwa ukuba kwenzeke.
Endaweni yoko, jolisa kokubini kwinto eyenzekayo kumzuzu wangoku, nakwiindlela ikamva lakho elinokuqaqamba kwaye lihle ngalo.
Thulisa umgxeki wakho wangaphakathi.
Xa sisenza iimpazamo, okanye xa sisenza ukhetho esiza kuzisola ngalo kamva, iingqondo zethu zinokuba ngqwabalala kuthi.
Sivumela abagxeki bethu bangaphakathi ukuba basiqinisekise ngesimo sethu sokungaphumeleli kunye nokudana kwabo basingqongileyo.
Sicinga izinto ezimbi ngathi. Sithetha kakubi ngathi kwabanye.
Kodwa le ndlela yokucinga ime ngokuqinileyo kwindlela yokukwazi ukuzixolela.
Endaweni yoko, kuya kufuneka uhoye ngakumbi ukukhuthaza ngaphakathi.
Ilizwi elikuxelela ukuba uyakufanelekela ukuxolelwa kwaye uneempawu ezintle ezininzi ekufuneka zingakhathalelwanga.
Ewe, uzenzile iimpazamo, kodwa awunguye umntu ombi ngenxa yazo. Usenokwenza igalelo elikhulu kwihlabathi kunye nakubomi babo ubakhathaleleyo.
11. Ziphathe njengomhlobo wakho osenyongweni.
Khawufane ucinge umhlobo wakho uhleli ngapha kwetafile. Bavula imilomo yabo kwaye baqale isivakalisi ngokuthi 'Ndijije nyani.' okanye 'Ndinqwenela ukuba bendingenayo / ndingakhange ndiyenze…'
Uhlala apho ubamamele xa bechaza oko bakwenzileyo. Emva koko uphendule.
Ngaba uthi 'Unyanisile, usisidenge ngokupheleleyo. Yintoni engalunganga ngawe? Akukho mntu ukuthandayo. ”?
Hayi, ewe awunayo.
Unika amagama anobubele kwaye acingayo ukuzama ukubenza bazive ngcono.
Ke kutheni ungaziphatha ngokwahlukileyo.
Oku kunxibelelana nenqaku langaphambili malunga nokuthula umgxeki wakho wangaphakathi kunye nokumamela ukukhuthaza kwakho ngaphakathi.
Ukuba uziphatha ngokungathi ubuphatha umhlobo wakho osenyongweni, uya kubekwa kakuhle ukubonisa uvelwano kuye.
Uyakwazi ukuphuma entlokweni yakho kwaye uzibone kwindawo yokungathathi hlangothi, kwaye oku kuya kukunceda yiba nobubele kuwe .
12. Beka izinto ngendlela efanelekileyo.
Ngamanye amaxesha sivuthela izinto ngendlela engalinganiyo.
Sicinga ukuba izinto esizenzileyo okanye izinto esizikhethileyo ziyazisola ngokupheleleyo, xa kunokwenzeka ukuba azikho njengaleyo.
Oku kubaluleke ngakumbi xa sifuna ukuzixolela ngeendlela esizithathileyo ebomini ebesingazukuyithatha, sijonga ngasemva.
Kutheni abantu behamba bebuya
Mhlawumbi ukhethe ikhondo lomsebenzi olusekwe kwimali endaweni yokufezekiswa komsebenzi.
Okanye ngaba uvuthele imali yakho oyigcinileyo xa uhamba kwilizwe, oko kuthetha ukuba ngoku awunakho ukuthenga indlu kwindawo yakho oyifunayo?
Ungazijonga ezi zinto kwaye uzibethe, okanye ungazama ukubona izibonelelo eziye zavela kwizigqibo ozenzileyo.
Mhlawumbi umsebenzi wakho ukuvumele ukuba ubonelele ngokhuseleko kunye nokhuseleko kusapho lwakho, uthintele uxinzelelo olunokubakho kunye nexhala eliza xa imali ixinene.
Kwaye mhlawumbi olo hambo kwihlabathi liphela lukhanyisile kuhlobo lomntu onqwenela ukuba lulo, ukukunika ithuba lokukhokelela kubomi obanelisa ngakumbi ukusuka apha ukuya phambili.
Kwanezinto ezibenzakeleyo ngokuthe ngqo abanye zinokuba nezinto ezintle ngaphakathi kubo ukuba ungazijonga ngokwahlukileyo.
13. Funda isifundo kwimpazamo yakho.
Awusoze ukwazi ukuzixolela ngento xa uqhubeka nokwenza into enye kwakhona.
Ngapha koko, uya kuzigxeka ngakumbi ngokuba sisidenge kwaye ubuthathaka.
Ke kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba ufunde kwiimpazamo zakho kwaye wenze ngendlela eyahlukileyo kwixa elizayo.
Uyakuqonda ukuba ukhulile njengomntu kwaye uxolelo luyakuba lula ngalo.
14. Sebenza ngehlazo lakho.
Ihlazo luhlobo oluthile lweemvakalelo ezinxibelelana neempazamo esizenzayo kunye nentlungu esiyibangela abanye.
Masicinge ukuba uthetha into umntu ayifumana ikhubekisa kakhulu. Ayinamsebenzi ukuba ubufuna ukuba uhlangane ngalondlela.
Awunakholelwa ukuba uthethe into enjalo. Uzaliswe kukuzisola. Ubuza malunga nokuziphatha kwakho kwaye uzicingele kakubi.
Uneentloni.
Ucinga ukuba abanye baya kukugweba ngayo, kwaye uyakholelwa ukuba banyanisile ukwenza njalo.
Kodwa ayilulo uloliwe oluncedo ekucingeni. Endaweni yoko, kuya kufuneka uqaphele ukuba awuchazwanga ngeempazamo zakho okanye kukhetho lwakho.
Nokuba abanye bayakugweba na okanye akunasiphumo. Kufuneka wazi nje ukuba awufanelanga kugwetywa ngaphezu kwabo.
Yamkele le nyani kwaye ihlazo lakho liyakusasazeka.
15. Zihoye.
Xa wenze into efuna ukuxolelwa, kufuneka uziphathe ngentlonipho.
Njengoko kukhankanyiwe ngaphambili, akufuneki usohlwaye ngenxa yeempazamo zakho. Endaweni yoko, kufuneka ugcine ukuzinyamekela.
Ngokuzibonisa obu bubele, uzomeleza ukuzixabisa kwakho, kwaye xa ukuzithemba kwakho kuphezulu, uzibona ukulungele ukuxolelwa.
Qiniseka ukuba utya ukutya okunesondlo, yenza imithambo rhoqo, ulale ngokwaneleyo, kwaye wenze izinto ngokubanzi ukukhulula uxinzelelo kunye noxinzelelo olubangelwa kukuziphatha ngendlela ozisola ngayo.
Fumana uxolelo lwakho.
Kuza ixesha apho uya kuziva ukulungele ukuzixolela.
Nantoni na oyenzayo, sukumelana nale nto.
Naxa usecicini lokuxolelwa ngokupheleleyo ngokweemvakalelo, kunokwenzeka ukuba ubuyele kwiindlela zakudala zokucinga.
Kodwa kufuneka unyanzelise kwaye uzimisele ukwamkela kwaye ufumane uxolelo olunika lona.
17. Yiba nomonde.
Ixesha ngumphilisi omkhulu.
iimpawu zokufuna ukujonga kubantu abadala
Oku kuyinyani ngenxa yobuhlungu obubangele abanye, kwaye kuyinyani kukuphazamiseka ngokweemvakalelo okufumanayo.
Inkqubo yokuzixolela isenokungasoloko ilungile. Unokutsiba ubuye umva phakathi kwezikhundla ezahlukeneyo zengqondo.
Ngamanye amaxesha unokuzibona njengofanelwe uxolelo. Emva koko unokumamela umgxeki wakho wangaphakathi kwaye uthathe inyathelo elibuyela umva.
Kodwa ukuba unomonde kwaye ulandela onke la macebiso angentla, uya kuthi ekugqibeleni ufikelele kwinqanaba lokuba ukwazi ukuthi kuwe 'ndiyakuxolela.'
