Ukwahlukana kubuhlungu, kodwa xa kubandakanya ukukopela nako, kunokuba nzima ukubona ukuba uyakuze uphumelele njani.
Xa ndafumanisa ukuba umntu wam wangaphambili wayeqhathile, ndadana kakhulu. Ewe ndimbek 'ityala, kodwa ndithe ndakujonga ngokunyanisekileyo kubudlelwane bethu ndabona ukuba bekukho into engalunganga ngayo - kubandakanya nelam icala. Ndandisondela kwi-30, kwaye ndaziva ndidandathekile yiminyaka endiyichithileyo. Emva kokuziphosa ipati yeeveki ezinde, ndaye ndagqiba kwelokuba andifuni kuphinda ndimoshe. Ndiye ndathatha inyathelo lokuzinceda ndiqhubeke kwaye ndifumanise ukuba ndichuma ngenxa yokungcatshwa.
Nazi ezinye iingcebiso zokukunceda ujongane noku kungcatshwa kokugqibela kwaye ubuye womelele xa unokuzifumana ukwimeko efanayo:
1. Sika umnxibelelwano nomntu wakho wakudala
Eli licebiso elinengqiqo nokuba awukhange uqhathwe. Ngaphandle kokuba ufuna ukuhlala unxibelelana ukusombulula imiba enje ngabantwana, izinto ezibambekayo, irente, okanye amatyala, cima iinombolo zomnxeba kunye nee-imeyile ebomini bakho. Ukuba awenzi njalo, uyahendeka kuphela ukuba ubathumelele imiyalezo ubabuza imibuzo enje, ‘Kutheni uyenzile? Ngaba andilunganga ngokwaneleyo? Wakha wandithanda? ’- ingakumbi emva kweziselo ezimbalwa.
Iimpendulo ozifumanayo (ukuba ufumana nayiphi na kwaphela) akunakulindeleka ukuba zikuzisele uxolo - awunakuthemba ukuba ziya kuba yinyani, kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo ziya kukhokelela kwimibuzo emininzi. Kwaye xa ujonga ngasemva kubo, kunokwenzeka ukuba bazokuvakala betyhafile ngakumbi kunokuba ubuzimisele kwaye uya kuzisola ngokubathumela.
Ukuba kufuneka uhlale unxibelelana ukulungiselela imicimbi engekenziwa, uyakufuna ukuzimisela ngokuzimisela kunye nokuzimisela ukuba ungaphambuki ungene kwezinye izihloko. Ukuba ucinga ukuba kunokwenzeka ukuba uqhekeke, cinga ngokunika umhlobo omthembileyo inombolo ye-ex yakho kwaye uyicime kwifowuni yakho-banokuthi emva koko bayithumele kuwe ukuba iyafuneka.
Ukuba umntu wakho wakudala uzama ukugcina unxibelelwano nawe, bacele ukuba bayihloniphe into yokuba kufuneka unqamle ubudlelwane kunye nabo- akufuneki bube ngunaphakade (ngaphandle kokuba ufuna ukuba njalo), kodwa de ube ungene elona nqanaba lisengqiqweni lentlungu (jonga inqaku 3 apha ngezantsi), kungcono ukuba ungayongezi ixesha leentlungu ngokugcina unxibelelwano.
Oku kuya ngokunxibelelana nosapho lwangaphambili (kwakhona oku kunokuba nzima ngakumbi kwezinye iimeko). Sihlala sizikhohlisa ngokuba sihlala siqhakamshelana nabantu basebukhweni bethu ngenxa yokuba besinobudlelwane obusondelelene nabo kwaye sifuna ukukugcina oku, xa ngokwenyani sizama ukuhlala sinxibelelana ne-ex yethu kwaye sibhikica naziphi na iziqwengana zolwazi thina banako ngobomi babo ngaphandle kwethu.
2.Yenza umhlobo wakho wakudala kwi-Facebook (okanye uzisuse okwethutyana
Zimbini iindlela onokukhetha kuzo apha. Ukuba ucinga unawo amandla okuchasa u-Facebook-u-stalking i-ex yakho emva kokuba ungabatyibilikisi, emva koko unokuya kule ndlela ethambileyo. Ukuba uqeqeshwe ngokwenyani, usenokukwazi ukuphuma nokutshintsha nje izinto ozikhethayo ukuze umsebenzi wabo ungabonakali kwiindaba zakho ezondlayo. Unokufuna ukuqaphela ukwenza okufanayo nakwabanye abahlobo be-Facebook abanokuthi babhale iifoto zangaphambili kunye nezandla zakhe kubo bonke abanye abantu basetyhini.
Le ndlela ifuna i-LOT of willpower, nangona kunjalo, kwaye uninzi lwethu kunokuba ngcono ukuba siye kukhetho 2: ukuzisusa kuFacebook ubuncinci inyanga. Isadinga ukuzibamba njengoko unokusebenzisa ngokulula iakhawunti yakho, kodwa ukuba uyayicima usetyenziso kwifowuni yakho, oku kunokuba nokwanele ukukumisa kwiitraki zakho ukuba unawo umzuzu odikidiki. Ngokuqinisekileyo uya kuziva ungaqhelekanga ekuqaleni, kodwa emva kweentsuku ezimbalwa uyakuyiqhela, kwaye kuyaziva kukunika amandla ukwazi ukuba uthatha amanyathelo okulawula usizi lwakho.
Kuyafana nakwezinye iindawo zokuzonwabisa ozisebenzisayo.
izimvo ezimnandi zokwenza xa udikiwe
Phantse akunakwenzeka ukuba uqhubeke usuka emntwini ukuba uhlala unxibelelana naye kwaye uhlala uhlaselwa ngezibuyekezo malunga nobomi bakhe. Ke amanqaku 1 kunye no-2 ngamanyathelo abalulekileyo okufumana ibhola eqengqelekayo.
3. Qonda amanqanaba osizi
Kubalulekile ukuba uqonde ukuba usentlungwini. Usentlungwini yokusweleka kobudlelwane, kwaye xa uqhathiwe, kusenokwenzeka ukuba ube lusizi kwimemori yomntu obucinga ukuba uyamazi.
Ngamafutshane, i amanqanaba amahlanu osizi zezi: ukwala, umsindo, ukuxoxa, ukudakumba nokwamkelwa. Xa ukwinqanaba lokuqala le-3, oku kulapho kubaluleke kakhulu ukunqanda ukudibana ngokungeyomfuneko ne-ex yakho. Unobungozi ngokukodwa ngeli xesha, kuba iimvakalelo zakho zigcwele yonke indawo. Oku kubaluleke ngakumbi xa uthe wakhohliswa, njengoko kunokubakho ukukhanyela okuninzi, umsindo kunye nokuxoxisana okuqhubekayo.
Ngokwazi amanqanaba osizi, ikuvumela, ngokuyinxenye, ukuba uzikhusele kule meko kwaye ubone ukuba yinkqubo apho wonke umntu ahamba khona. Ikwanika uluvo lokulawula iimvakalelo zakho- uyakubona okwenzekayo kwaye uqonde ukuba kuyinto eqhelekileyo ngokugqibeleleyo. Ewe, xa ukwinqanaba loxinzelelo ungaziva ngathi izinto azinakuphinda zilunge kwakhona, kodwa ukwazi ukuba eli linyathelo nje lentlungu ohamba kuyo kunokukunceda ubone ukuba kuyakubakho ukukhanya esiphelweni itonela.
Kubalulekile ukuba uqaphele ukuba ayinguye wonke umntu ohamba ngamanqanaba ngokulandelelana, kwaye ayinguye wonke umntu owafumanayo onke. Ke sukuba nexhala xa uphoswa liqonga, okanye ukuba utsibela ngapha nangapha phakathi kwamanqanaba okwexeshana - oku kuqhelekile. Uya kufumana ukwamkelwa xa sele ukulungele.
4. Sukudlala ixhoba (kwaye uyeke ukubalisa ibali)
Ewe uye waphathwa kakubi kwaye ufanele ukuba nomsindo. Kwaye ngaphandle kwamathandabuzo kuyakufuneka uthethe ngayo nabahlobo kunye nosapho. Kodwa kuyeza ixesha apho kungasenamveliso ukuxelela nabani na wonke umntu oza kumamela malunga nokuba ubukhe wanobunzima kangakanani kwaye yintoni isikhwama se-scum ex yakho.
Ukuphindaphinda ibali kaninzi kunceda ekuqinisekiseni ukuba ulixhoba elihlwempuzekileyo, elingenakuzikhusela, elingenakho ukulawula indlela osabela ngayo ngoku. Ewe, umntu wakho wangaphambili waziphatha ngendlela ekhwankqisayo, kwaye ewe, unetyala ngezenzo zakhe. Kodwa unoxanduva lwezenzo zakho, kwaye ukuba ufuna ukuqhubela phambili kwaye ufumane ulonwabo kwakhona, kuya kufuneka uyiqonde le nto uyeke ukudlala umfeli-nkolo.
Izithuba ezihambelanayo (inqaku liyaqhubeka ngezantsi):
- Iimpawu ezi-10 ezifihlakeleyo zeQabane lakho linokukhohlisa kuwe
- Yintoni ekuqwalaselwa njengokukopa kubudlelwane?
- Iindlela ezili-9 zokujongana nokuNgcatshiswa kunye nokuPhiliswa kwiNtlungu
- Wazi Njani Ukuba Uyathandana? Iimpawu ezi-10 ezichazayo ziyinyani.
- 13 Kubonakala ngathi ziZinto eziNcinci eziThetha ukuba liLizwe kwabaseTyhini
5. Dwelisa ubuhle kunye nobubi kulwalamano lwakho lwangaphambili
Nje ukuba ukwindawo engcono, ubenesithuba esivela kwi-ex yakho, kwaye uyekile ukudlala ixhoba, cinga ukubhala uluhlu lwezinto ezilungileyo nezingalunganga ze-ex yakho. Into ephambili apha kukunyaniseka ngokwenene. Ngokucacileyo inyani yokuba bakuqhathile izakuba ilungile apho kunye neengozi, kodwa amathuba akhoyo, bekukho ezinye izinto ezininzi ezingalunganga kubudlelwane, kwaye xa ujonga ngasemva uya kuqonda ukuba umntu wakho wakudala wayengagqibekanga njengokuba ubucinga.
Uluhlu alukho konke malunga ne-ex bashing, nangona kufuneka uthembeke ngamanqaku abo okudibanisa nawo. Ukubonelela ngendawo elungileyo yentloko (SUKWENZE oku ukuba usemngciphekweni wokukhanyela, umsindo okanye ukuxoxa!), Kuya kufuneka ubenakho ukunika umfanekiso oqiqisayo wento ex yakho yayiyiyo ngokwenene.
Ukubhala olu luhlu kunokuxhobisa ngokwenene. Ikuvumela ukuba ubone ukuba i-ex yakho yayingumntu, njengathi sonke. Kuxutywe nazo zonke iimpazamo kunye nokusilela kwabo ziimpawu ezintle nazo. Ukuba uziva ukulungele, yithi enkosi yangasese ngawo onke amaxesha amnandi owabelanayo. Ukuba ulandela amanyathelo akweli nqaku, usenokude ufike kwinqanaba apho unako yithi enkosi Ngamaxesha amabi nawo-njengoko eya kuba yeyona nto ikufundisa kakhulu.
ukuba wenzeni xa umntu exoka ngawe
6. Dwelisa izinto ezilungileyo nezingalunganga kulwalamano lwakho
Ukuba unesibindi ngokwaneleyo, ungathatha inqaku lesi-4 inyathelo eliya phambili kwaye wenze uluhlu lobuhlobo bobubi bakho kunye nobubi. Oku ayikuko ukuzibetha ngokwakho, imalunga nokuhamba-kwaye ukuba ufuna nyani ukuqhubeka kwaye ngolunye usuku wonwabe kwaye ubudlelwane obuphilileyo , kuyakufuneka ungumnini wemicimbi yakho ukuze uzame ukubathintela ekubeni baphinde bakhulise iintloko zabo ezimbi.
Ngaba ubungazithembanga ngokugqithiseleyo okanye ncamathela ? Ngaba unyamezele isimilo esingamkelekanga kwaye wavumela umntu wakho wakudala ukuba ahambe phezu kwakho? Ngaba uye waya kumfana onedumela lokukopela? Sukundenza impazamo, andicebisi umzuzwana ukuba ukukopela kuyimpendulo efanelekileyo kuyo nayiphi na kwezi zinto, kodwa kuthatha abantu ababini ukwenza ubudlelwane busebenze. Kubalulekile ukuba ungakuvumeli ukukopela kukuthintele ekuvumeni eminye imicimbi enokuthi ithintelwe kwixa elizayo.
Thatha lo mzekelo-ngelixa wawukunye i-ex yakho yayihamba ngaphandle kwakho, unxila kwaye uhlala ngaphandle kude kube ziiyure zonke. Ukhabe kancinci xa kusenzeka, kodwa ekugqibeleni ubaxolele lonke ixesha. Ekugqibeleni baya kuthi bagqibe kwelokuba ngenxa yokuba uyinyamezele, banokuphuncuka kuyo, kwaye banokude bayandise le logic kwezinye iindlela zokuziphatha.
Ukuba oku kuvakala kuqhelekile, unokufuna ukuqaphela ukuba loluphi uhlobo lokuziphatha olungele ukulunyamezela kubudlelwane bakho obulandelayo. Beka imida ethile - ukubetha okuthathu kwaye uphumile. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, ngaba uya kuba nakho ukuthembela kwiqabane lakho elilandelayo ukuba baziphatha ngendlela efanayo neyexesha lakho langaphambili?
7. Sebenzisa ukwahlukana njengethuba lokuqonda ukuba awufuni mntu wumbi ukuze akugqibe
Uninzi lwethu luhamba ukusuka kubudlelwane ukuya kubudlelwane ngaphandle kokuqhekeka phakathi, kuba siyoyika ukuba sodwa, kwaye ngenxa yokuba iintloko zethu zizaliswe ziingcinga zentsomi zokuba sifuna omnye umntu ukuba asigqibe.
Sukuyenza impazamo, ukuba kubudlelwane obufanelekileyo kunokuba yenye yezona zinto zimangalisayo emhlabeni, kodwa xa ubeka isizathu sakho sonke sokuba sezandleni zomnye umntu uyazithoba kwaye ubeke uxanduva olukhulu kakhulu kwiqabane lakho. Oku kudala ukufuna, ukungazithembi kunye umona kuwe, kwaye unokuba njalo isizathu sokuba iqabane lakho lisuke kwaye iqala ukujonga kwenye indawo.
Sebenzisa ikhefu ukuthatha ixesha lakho ngokwakho. Zijonge ukuba yintoni oyithandayo ukukwenzela. Oku kubaluleke ngakumbi ukuba unike 'kakhulu' kubudlelwane bakho. Ngaba uchithe ixesha elaneleyo ubona izihlobo zakho, usapho, lusenza izinto ozithandayo? Okanye ulinikele lonke ixesha lakho kwi-ex yakho kuba ucinga ukuba 'bubomi bakho'?
Endaweni yokungxama uye kolunye ulwalamano, chitha ixesha wedwa. Ukuba awuqhelanga kuyo, unokuziva ungonwabanga ekuqaleni. Kodwa ukuba ufuna ngenene ukunqanda ukubaleka uye ngqo ezingalweni zomnye umntu nje nge ex yakho, kuya kufuneka unikezele ngemfuno yakho yokuba omnye umntu akugqibe kwaye yamkela ukuzimela kwakho ngokweemvakalelo .
Abakhohlisi banokuliqonda eli lungelo kwaye baya kulisebenzisa kwinzuzo yabo. Funda ezinye zefilosofi kunye neencwadi zokuzinceda- zinokuba yindawo elungileyo ukuqala ekuncedeni ukuba uqonde ukuba ulungile, njengokuba unjalo.
Ukuba usebenzisa ukwahlukana njengethuba lokuziphuhlisa, xa kufika umntu olungileyo uya kuba kunye nabo kuba ufuna, hayi kuba ufuna njalo. Kwaye oko kudala ulwalamano olonwabileyo, olusempilweni kunye nolukhuselekileyo.
8. Yiya kwiintsuku ezimbalwa, kodwa musa ukutsiba kubudlelwane
Ngokuqinisekileyo le yeyona ilungileyo iseleyo ude ube usondela kwinqanaba lokwamkela inkqubo yentlungu. Ngaphandle koko, unokuba sesichengeni kwaye ungene lula ubudlelwane obuphindaphindiweyo nohlobo olungalunganga lomfana.
Nje ukuba izinto zihlale kwaye ukhululeke ukuba wedwa, zibeke apho kwaye uye kwiintsuku ezimbalwa. Vumela abahlobo bakho bakumise nabantu abacinga ukuba bangakulungela - abantu abangafani ne ex yakho. Gcina ingqondo evulekileyo ukuba ayibonakali ngathi luhlobo lwakho ekuqaleni. Emva kwakho konke, mhlawumbi ucinga ukuba i-ex yakho yayinguhlobo lwakho, kwaye ayizange ibe yinto enhle kakhulu kuwe.
Xa udibana nabantu abatsha, khangela iimpawu ezifana ne-ex yakho kunye nezo ezingekho. A umqondiso olungileyo ukuba uhamba kwaye ukufunda kubudlelwane bakho kukuba uyakwazi ukubona iiflegi ebomvu xa uzibona - njengomhla wakho ethetha malunga nendlela bachitha rhoqo ngeempelaveki ukunxila, okanye ukuveza iimbono ezazifana ex yakho.
Ukuba udibana nomntu onxibelelana naye (ongafaniyo nesidala sakho) kwaye ufuna ukulandela ngakumbi, qiniseka ukuba thatha izinto kancinci . Akukho kungxama, kwaye kubalulekile ukuba uqiniseke ukuba ungena kubudlelwane ngezizathu ezifanelekileyo.
Ingaziva ngathi ubomi bakho buphelile xa ubudlelwane buphela, kwaye xa sele ungcatshiwe, kulula ukuchitha ubomi bakho bonke usola umntu wakudala kwaye ungamthembi wonke umntu omtsha odibana naye. Kodwa ukuba ulandela la manyathelo angentla, ekuhambeni kwexesha, unokuguqula iintliziyo zibe yimpiliso, kwaye uphume womelele kunangaphambili. Ngubani owaziyo, ngenye imini ungade ube nombulelo ngento oyifundiswe ngamava- ndiyazi ukuba ndinguye.
Ke ndingathanda ukuthi enkosi, ex, ngokundikhohlisa.
Ngaba awuqinisekanga ukuba ungadlula njani xa uqhathwa? Thetha kwi-Intanethi kwingcali yobudlelwane kwi-Relationship Hero enokukunceda ufumane izinto. Ngokulula.
