Sithetha ukuthini xa sisithi sithanda umntu ngokungagungqiyo? Abantu abaninzi cinga bayazi oko kuthethwa luthando olungenamiqathango , kodwa emva koko xa bebuzwa ukuba bachaze, baphela ukukunika impendulo engenanto ngaphandle kothando olungenamiqathango.
Abantu bahlala besithi, 'Kuxa umthanda umntu nokuba kunjani.'
olona hlobo lusisiseko lokumamela yile
Akunjalo uthando olungenammiselo, oko kukufela ukholo kumda wokusetyenziswa gadalala. Oko kukuphulukana nokuzihlonipha. Yiyo leyo intswelo . Yiyo leyo ukutyeba okungafanelekanga . Akukho nanye kwezo zinto eyakha uthando olungenamiqathango.
Ndicinga ukuba kulapho kwenziwe khona impazamo: abantu abaninzi bacinga ukuba 'ngaphandle kwemiqathango' kuthetha ukuba nantoni na iyahamba, kwaye ubotshelelwe kuloo mntu, ebunzimeni nasebubini, nokuba bakuphatha njani, okanye babaphatha njani abanye.
Oko kuthetha ukuba ubathandana kakhulu nabo, ukulungele ukujonga ngamehlo abo kwiimpazamo zabo.
Akukho nanye kwezo zinto.
Leyo yiHollywood, uhlobo lwothando olungenamiqathango. Isinika imbono ethandabuzekileyo kwaye ilwa nezimvo zethu ngendlela yokuthanda ngokungathandekiyo. Ubomi abuyonto ehlekisayo yothando, kwaye iingxaki zethu azizukuconjululwa ngokucocekileyo kwimizuzu engama-90.
Ke, ukuba iHollywood iyaphazama, yintoni uthando olungenamiqathango emva koko?
Uthando olungenamiqathango luthando olunikezwe simahla kwisibophelelo okanye kulindelo. Luthando olunikwa ungafuni, okanye ulindele nantoni na ukuba ibuye.
Yiyo leyo.
Ukuthanda ngokungathandabuzekiyo akuvumeli ukuba uxhatshazwe okanye uphathwe kakubi, okanye uthabatheke ngumntu othile ngegama ‘lothando.’ Oko kukuzingca ngokwenene. Kodwa linda… ukungazicingeli kungazicingela njani, uyabuza ?!
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Ngomzuzu xa uncama ukuzimela kwakho, intlalo-ntle yakho, kunye nesazisi sakho, akusekho malunga nabo, ngothando ngaphandle kokulindela okanye uxanduva, kumalunga nawe. Kuya kuba nguwe ozama ukugcina umntu, okanye ngokuchaseneyo, uyohlwaya ngokuhlala nomntu okuniphatha kakubi.
'Ukugcina umntu' kuhlala kuthanda uvelwano kunye nokuqwalaselwa ngabanye, kodwa emva kwethutyana, uqala ukucaphukisa loo mntu uziva unetyala ngazo zonke izinto ezilungileyo ozenzileyo.
Awukhululekanga ekuncanyathisweni kwezi meko kuba oko kuya kukunika inkululeko kwisibophelelo kunye nolindelo kunye noxanduva ziziseko zobudlelwane obunetyhefu.
Uya kuphulukana namandla akho okubanga isandla esiphezulu kwaye usebenzise ityala njengesixhobo. Olu ayilo thando lungenamiqathango olu lukholo lokufela ukholo olukunceda ekugqibeleni (nokuba kunzima ngelixa ukulo) kuba usebenzisa loo mntu ukuzenza mhle, okanye njengefom yokuzibetha.
Phinda emveni kwam: Ungazisusa kwimeko enetyhefu kwaye usamthanda umntu ngaphandle kwemiqathango. Oko kukumthanda ngokwenene umntu ngaphandle kwemeko kwaye ukhululekile ekuncamathisweni. Yeyona ndlela isempilweni, nesulungekileyo yothando.
Simiselwe ukuba sinikele kwaye sithathe inxaxheba kuzo zonke iinxalenye zobomi bethu. Sisebenza nzima ukuba silindele ukuba abantu benze into njengembuyekezo, kungenjalo siziva sikhohlisiwe kwaye sinemvakalelo yokuba 'sisodwa,' okanye soniwe. Ukususela ebusheni, sifundiswa ukuba kufuneka sibuyisele onke amanyathelo ukuze singafumaneki sikhangeleka kakubi okanye sinemikhwa emibi.
Sifundisiwe ukuba akukho nto ebomini eza simahla. Yonke into inexabiso, kubandakanya nothando. Akumangalisi ke oko, ukuba uninzi lwabantu alunalo nofifi lokuba kujongeka kanjani ukuthanda ngokungathandekiyo ngaphandle kokuncamathela.
iimpawu zokutsala kunye emsebenzini
Uthando olungenamiqathango ngaphandle kokuncamathisela kujongeka njengoku:
1. Ukuthanda Ukunyaniseka
Ndikubona ngokupheleleyo. Ndikubona uphelele, ngoku, uhlukile, ubuqu. Awundigqibezeli, sobabini siphilile kwaye sidibene ngokuhloniphana nothando. Ndiyakubona okuhle kuwe, kodwa ndiyazibona iimpazamo zakho kunye nemiphetho erhabaxa ngamehlo avulekileyo, kwaye ndiyazamkela ngaphandle kwesigwebo okanye ukugxeka. Ndiyaqonda ukuba, njengam, ungumntu kwaye kufanele ukuba wenze iimpazamo, kwaye Ndiyayamkela loo nto njengenxalenye yokuba ungubani .
Uthando olungenammiselo luthembekile. Akuthethi ukuba uyayamkela yonke into abayenzayo, okanye abayenzileyo kuwe. Kuthetha ukuba uneengxoxo eziphandle nezingavulekiyo, kwaye imida , ngelixa uqhubeka ubathanda kuba bangoobani. Ukuba indlela yabo yokuziphatha iyingozi kuwe, ungazisusa kwaye uqhubeke nokubathanda kwaye ubaxhase xa ukwindawo ekhuselekileyo yokwenza njalo.
Uthando olungagungqiyo aluthando ngaphandle kwemida - uthando olungenamiqathango luhlonipha kwaye lunika imbeko imida kwaye luvumela umntu ngamnye ukuba abe ngokupheleleyo.
Ukuba usebudlelwaneni, kwaye ezi ngxelo zingasentla zikwenza uzive u-icky, okanye ufuna ukuphuma egumbini ukhala, kuya kufuneka uphinde uvavanye olo lwalamano. Ukuba ukunye nomntu kuphela kuba bekwenza u-X, Y, no-Z kuwe, awubathandi ngokungagungqiyo kwaye ukhululekile ekuncamathisweni.
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- Izizathu ezili-13 zokuba kutheni ndikuthanda ukuba ube ziingceba
2. Ukuzithanda
Qaphela ukuba akukho ndawo kuloo nkcazo yothando olungenamiqathango apho ithi uhlala neqabane elihlukumezayo, okanye wamkele unyango olubi kwaye wenze ngathi akwenzeki, kuba umntu othanda ngokungathandabuzekiyo, naye uyazithanda ngokungathandabuzekiyo.
Abalahlekanga, kwaye abafuni omnye umntu ukuba 'abagqibe' (enye itrope yaseHollywood ekhutshelwayo kwaye incanyathiselwe kubudlelwane bobomi bokwenyani kunye neziphumo ezibi).
Xa uphelile, ungamnika njani umntu ongenakukwazi nokuzinika? Abantu abathanda ngokungathandabuzekiyo beza kulwalamano kunye nokuqonda ukuba bajongana nabantu abangafezekanga, njengabo, kwaye ukusuka apho.
Bayazithanda ngaphandle kwamaqhuma kunye namaqhuma, kunye ne traumas zabo, kwaye bayazihlonipha. Kuba bayazithanda kwaye bayazihlonipha, banesakhono sokubonelela uthando ngaphandle kokulindela okanye ukuzibophelela kwabanye, kuba abadingi mntu wokubenza bazive bephelele.
3. Ukuba sesichengeni
Asizukungoyiswa, izidalwa zasentsomini ezingenazimvakalelo. Singabantu, kwaye inxalenye yobuntu bethu iza nokuba sesichengeni. Ulwalamano lokwenene nothando olungenamiqathango lunokufezekiswa kuphela ngokunyaniseka nangokuba sesichengeni. Ukuthanda ngokungathandabuzekiyo kwaye sikhululekile kunamathiselo kusivumela ukuba sisuse imaski esinyanzelwa luluntu ukuba sinxibe yonke imihla.
Sifundisiwe ukuba kufuneka sizibonakalise ngokwahlukileyo kwaye sizivumele ukuba sinyaniseke emva kokhuseleko lweengcango ezivaliweyo. Xa umntu esithanda ngokungathandabuzekiyo, uyasikhulula ekunxibeni imaski kwaye asivumele ukuba sibe yinyani yethu yokwenyani.
Xa uthanda ngokungathandabuzekiyo kwaye ukhululekile ekuncamathisweni, nguwe ngokwakho, ngokupheleleyo. Awunikeli uhlobo oluhluziweyo lwakho lokukholisa nabani na. Uyabavumela ukuba bakubone njengoko unjalo, kwaye vumela ukuba babone ubuthathaka bakho .
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4. Ukwabelana ngothando
Ukuthanda ngokungakhathali kunye nokukhululeka kokuncamathayo nako kuyasikhulula thina kunye nabantu esibathandayo kuloyiko lokuba wedwa. Sivunyelwe ukuba nexesha lethu, kwaye sabelane ngexesha lethu namandla ethu nabanye. Asiziva sinesidingo sokulawula yonke into eyenziwa ngumntu evusa ukungazithembi kunye noxinzelelo.
Uloyiko alukho uthando. Uloyiko luchasene nothando. Luzenza ngathi luthando, kodwa luyitshabalalisa ngomona, nangobuncinci. 'Ukuba awuhlali ekhaya ngokuhlwanje, kwaye ubona abahlobo bakho, awundithandi ngokwenene,' kukukhohlisa, hayi uthando. Ukulawula umntu ukuba unciphise iimvakalelo zakho zokungoneliseki, okanye isithukuthezi alusoze luthando olungenamiqathango, kuba kudala ityala, uxanduva, kwaye ekugqibeleni, inzondo.
Ukuthanda umntu ngokungathandabuzekiyo kwaye ukhululekile ekuncamathisweni kuthetha ukuba uyabavumela ukuba babenobomi obungaphandle kobakho, bavakalise ezinye iinxalenye zabo, hayi kuwe kuphela, kodwa nakwabanye. Xa sithanda ngokungathandabuzekiyo, sikhuselekile kuthando lwabo kuthi, nothando lwethu ngabo. Ezi zinto zine ziziseko zothando ngendlela esempilweni, elungileyo kunye nengqondo.
