'Somelele' kwaye 'buthathaka' zizichazi ezenza uluhlu lweemifanekiso ezahlukeneyo zengqondo kunye nokukhetha nokuba siyazifuna okanye asifuni.
Njengomzekelo, umntu olawula iintlanganiso emsebenzini ngokuthetha ngaphezulu kwakhe wonke umntu unokuchazwa njengobuntu obomeleleyo, xa eneneni beyinto nje yokulwa. Ngokuthelekisa, umntu othuleyo ogcina uluvo lwakhe kuye ngaphandle kokuba acelwe ngokuthe ngqo unokufumana indelelo ngokuba nobuntu obuthathaka, kuba bangangxoli okanye ukuzithemba njengangaphambili.
Iilebheli ezinje ziyabothusa bobabini aba bantu, ngenxa yezizathu ezininzi.
Amandla ayisoloko iyinto elungileyo
Okokuqala, igama 'ukomelela' ngokubanzi kucingelwa ukuba kukuncoma: ukomelela luphawu uninzi lwabantu olucwangciselwe lona ndinqwenela uku , ke xa umntu kusithiwa unobuntu 'obomeleleyo', oko kuhlala kuthathwa njengeyona nto intle. Olu hlobo lokucinga lunokusekwa ebuntwaneni bokuqala, xa umntwana ophosa izinto kunye nabaphathi babanye abantwana ejikeleze i-chuckles ngenxa yento ebizwa ngokuba ngamandla omlinganiswa wakhe.
Ukuziphatha okunje, xa uzonwabisa, kuqiniswa njengokwamkelekileyo ngokwenkcubeko. Izithsaba zithathwa njengezona zinto ziphambili emsebenzini, kunye nezenzo ezinokuthi zichazwe njengezingxolayo “njengobungangamsha” ebuntwaneni ziguqulela ekubeni 'ngongqinayo' 'nokuba yinkokheli enkulu' xa sebekhulile. Uyazi ukuba oko kukhokelela phi? I-Narcissistic , oonontlalontle abahamba baphatha abanye abantu njenge sh * t kuba bahlala bavunyelwe ukuba benze njalo.
Ukuziphatha kwabo kubonisa ukuba akunanto yakwenza namandla oqobo - iimpawu ezifana nengqibelelo , isibindi, imbeko, kunye nokulingana - nangakumbi malunga nokuhamba kunye nokoyikisa. Kungenzeka ngakumbi ukuba abantu abathanda ukulwa kwizikhundla zamandla bafike apho ngenxa yomtshato kunokuba bafaneleke.
Kwakhona kubalulekile ukuba uqaphele ukuba ilebula 'yobuntu obuqinileyo' ihlala isetyenziswa njengenkcazo edelelayo xa isetyenziselwa umntu obhinqileyo. Xa ujolise kumqeshwa obhinqileyo, umzekelo, loo lebhile inokuthetha ukuba uyarhabaxa, unzima, kwaye unoluvo ngokusisiseko, iimpawu ezixatyiswayo koontanga bakhe abangamadoda, kodwa agwetywe xa ezibonisa.
Kukho ukutya okucingwayo, hmm?
Ukubona ubuthathaka
Kwiflipside yokwamkeleka ngokwenkcubeko kukuqonda ukuba ubuthathaka. Cinga ngazo zonke iindlela apho igama elithi 'buthathaka' (okanye izithethantonye zalo) lisetyenziswa kwizinyeliso, ezibonisa into engento. 'Elona khonkco libuthathaka' lelona qhekeza lingenamsebenzi, laphukile kwityathanga, kwaye ngokungathandabuzekiyo iya kubangela ukuba yonke into iwe. Umntu 'onqwenela-buthathaka' uthathwa njenge-flake eswele ingqibelelo kunye nokukwazi ukumelana noxinzelelo oluncinci.
Yintoni enokusenza ukuba sicinge ukuba umntu ubuthathaka, ngenxa yokuba engangxoli kakhulu?
Abo bathuleyo banokuba namandla kakhulu kunokuba ungalindela. Indoda ethethela phantsi kwiintlanganiso zeshishini inokuba ikufundile ukwenza njalo emva kweminyaka ichithe ikhathalela umzali onesifo i-Alzheimer okanye umntwana onolibaziseko olunzima ekukhuleni- usenokuba wazifumana iimeko ezazinokwaphula omnye umntu, kodwa endaweni yoko weza kwizilingo zakhe. ngobabalo nangesidima. Owu, kodwa uthobekile kwaye uthetha kancinci, ke kufuneka abe ngumntu olulamileyo nongenamandla. Kunene?
Ngokwalo mqondiso, abasetyhini bacingelwa ukuba banobuntu obuthathaka kunamadoda kuba uninzi aluziqinisekisi ngokufuthi kangangoko. Okanye kufanele. (Jonga ukuba nzima nokuba rhabaxa apha ngasentla.)
Abantu abangazingciyo nabanikelayo endaweni yokufuna ngenkani nokuzingca bahlala bebonwa ngathi babuthathaka, kunye neempawu ezinje ngovelwano kunye uvelwano badla ngokugculelwa. Oko kuthetha okuninzi ngathi njengenkcubeko, akunjalo? Kuluntu lwethu lwale mihla lwaseNtshona, ubundlongo-ndlongo kunye notyekelo lwentlalontle ziyanconywa kwaye ziyanconywa ngamandla azo, ngelixa ukuthobeka nobubele zihlekiswa.
Izithuba ezihambelanayo (inqaku liyaqhubeka ngezantsi):
- Iimpawu ze-13 unobuntu obomeleleyo obunokoyikisa abanye abantu
- Imingxunya eyi-12 yokuba noBuntu oMeleleyo
- Imigaqo ye-18 yoMfazi owomeleleyo
- Iimpawu ze-9 UnobuNtu obuKrelekrele obuQhelekileyo kodwa ngaba ziNzwakazi ziNtle
- Iimpawu ezi-5 'eziNgekhoyo' zoBuntu eziba neSilivere
- Iimpawu ezi-9 zoMfazi oLungileyo weAlfa
Amandla kunye nobuthathaka ahlala engenanto yakwenza nokuziphatha
Into ayiyo ngokwenene umntu ngaphakathi ayisoloko ibonakala ngendlela aziphatha ngayo.
Cinga ngale ndlela: izinja ezincinci ze-yappy ziyakhonkotha kwaye zitsibatsize ziqhawule emaqatheni abo bonke abo babangqongileyo kuba banomsindo ukuntsokotha kunye nesidingo sokubonisa ukuba banzima kangakanani. I-Wolfhounds, ngokuthelekisa, izolile kwaye ithule ngaphandle kokuba inyanzeliswa kwiimeko ezibi kakhulu. Abakhonkothi okanye babambe abantu kuba bengeva sidingo sokwenza njalo.
Kuyafana nakubantu abaninzi: encinci (ayizukubhidaniswa nencinci ngokwasemzimbeni) ii-pissants ezineetshipsi emagxeni zihlala zijikeleza zenze konke okusemandleni ukungcungcuthekisa abanye ngenjongo yokubonisa ukuxabiseka kwabo. Abo bazikhuselekileyo kwaye abayiyo i-megalomaniacs bahlala banelisekile ukuba bathule ngaphandle kokuba banento efanelekileyo yokuthetha. Abayi 'buthathaka' banelisekile ukuba bangobani kwaye abavakalelwa kukuba bafuna ukukhwaza kunye nokuma komzimba ukubonisa ubungqina babo.
Ngexesha elizayo xa ucinga ngokugweba ubuntu bomntu njengobuthathaka okanye obomeleleyo, thatha umzuzwana wokulinganisa ngokwenene iikhrayitheriya osekele kuzo iingcinga zakho. Into oyibonayo iyinyani, kwaye yintoni eyinyani, ayifani ngokufanayo.
Makhe siphinde siqwalasele iilebheli ebesizibetha ebantwini ixesha elide kakhulu, kwaye sibone ukuba singaza neenkcazo ezifanelekileyo kusini na.
Mhlawumbi endaweni yokuthetha ngobuntu 'obuqinileyo', sinokusebenzisa amagama ahlukeneyo, kuxhomekeke kwinkcazo esizama ukuyidlulisa. Ukuba umntu uphetheke ngendlela engummangaliso, amagama anjengokuthi 'onamandla' okanye 'olawulayo' anokulunga. Ukuba indlela abaziphethe ngayo iyancomeka, ke 'ukuzithemba' kunye 'nokunyanzelisa' kuya kusebenza kakuhle ukuzichaza.
Ngokufanayo, endaweni yokusebenzisa 'buthathaka' njengesichazi ukuba asizami ukugxeka umntu, sinokusebenzisa amagama anje ngo 'thantamisayo' okanye 'ubeko' okanye 'ubabalo'. Ukuba sizama ukuchaza ubuntu obungenasidima, mhlawumbi 'uyathandeka' okanye 'uyoyika' unokubafanela endaweni yoko.
