Kuyothusa ukuqonda ukuba kaninzi kangakanani iimfesane kunye ne-narcissists ziphela kubudlelwane kunye.
Ngaphandle kwento yokuba ezi ntlobo zimbini zabantu zikwinqanaba elichaseneyo lenkathalo yokhathalelo lweemvakalelo, zibonakala ngathi zitsaliwe kunye njengenundu kumalangatye.
Bobabini bayazi ukuba izinto ziza kuhamba kakubi kakhulu, kodwa nje abanakubonakala ngathi bayazinceda.
Yintoni Edibanisa?
Oku kuhle kakhulu kukuxhomekeka kwetyhefu xa kuziwa kubudlelwane. Impaths kunye ne-narcissists zisisiqwengana sempilo enye nenye.
Impaths zihlala zinobubele ngendlela engummangaliso, abantu abanenkathalo abaphumelela ekuboniseni abanye. Babedla ngokuphathwa gadalala, ukungahoywa, kunye / okanye ukungahoywa ebusheni babo, kwaye bazame ukunika abanye lonke uthando, inkathalo, kunye noqwalaselo ababelufuna ngamandla kwaye bengazange balufumane.
Kwelinye icala, ii-narcissist kufuneka zinqulwe kwaye zixambulisane. Babedla ngokuphathwa kakubi kunye / okanye ukungahoywa ebutsheni babo, ngamanye amaxesha bade bashiywe… kodwa endaweni yokuguqula loo ntlungu ibenze inkathalo yabanye, bayijikela ekufumaneni ingqalelo enkulu nothando kubo ngokwabo.
Uyabona unxibelelwano apha?
Ezi zimbini zitsaliwe kunye nokuba ziyafuna okanye azifuni. Ziyimifuziselo yezinto ezingenampilo, iziqwenga zepuzzle eziyityhefu.
Yintoni ebagcina behlangene?
Zombini ziyaphumelela kwidrama, kodwa ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo.
Rhoqo, u-empath uya kuziva ekhululekile xa ephathwa kakubi, kuba leyo yimeko abayazi kakuhle. Baziva ngathi bayayazi into abayenzayo xa bezama nzima 'ukufumana' ingqalelo yomnye umntu kunye nothando.
ukuba wenzeni xa uwedwa ekhaya
Kwelinye icala, i-narcissist's sadistic streak iyachuma kule ndlela yokuziphatha. Kwelinye icala, baya kuyidelela. Baza kubona amaqabane abo njengobuthathaka kunye nosizi, kwaye badlale ngeemvakalelo zabo ukuze bahlale bemunca kwaye bezama ukufumana uthando nengqwalaselo.
Baza kudlala ikati ekhohlakeleyo kunye nomdlalo wempuku apho baya ' ibhombu yothando ”I-empath kunye nobubele obuncinci bokugcina bebandakanyekile. Emva koko baya kubamba kwakhona ukuze iqabane labo kufuneka lihlasele ukufumana unonophelo kunye nothando kubo kwakhona.
Lilonke, yinto yokudibanisa engenampilo engapheliyo.
Ngamanye amaxesha ubudlelwane buphela kwangoko, nokuba kungenxa yokuba i-narcissist ikruqukile okanye i-empath iye yaphazamiseka. Kwimeko apho, i-narcissist iya kuhamba kwaye ingaze ijonge ngasemva.
Ngokuchasene noko, i-empath iya kuzigxeka ngokwabo kangangeminyaka, ivakalelwa kukuba ukuba bebebonise uthando OLUNGAKUMBI, imfesane ENGAKUMBI, inkathalo engakumbi, umntu lowo baziqinisekisileyo ukuba bayamthanda ngesele ehlala. Kwaye okona kubaluleke nangakumbi, ngekugqibeleni bebebathanda ngembuyekezo.
Ngokwahlukileyo, i-narcissist ayinakulindeleka ukuba icinge ngabo konke konke, emva koqhawulo-mtshato. Ukuba bayayenza, ke kukuhlekisa kokudelela indlela ababebuthathaka kwaye bethandeka ngayo.
Xa i-narcissists kunye ne-empaths zikwazi ukuhlala kunye ixesha elide, kuhlala kungenxa yokuba bakhulise ukuxhomekeka okunamandla. Bondla amandla omnye komnye njengama-parasites ajijekileyo, e-symbiotic parasites. Omnye uyaphumelela ekudumiseni kwaye akhuphe inkohlakalo, enye ifuna inkohlakalo yokubangela ukuba baqubude.
Kubuhlungu, akunjalo?
I-Bond yoxinzelelo lwengqondo
Ngaba uqhelene negama elithi 'uxinzelelo lwengozi'? Yinto edla ngokukhula ebantwaneni abaphathwa gadalala ngabazali babo.
Ngamagama alula, uhlobo lokuncamathela ngokweemvakalelo lwenziwa ngomjikelo wokuphathwa gadalala kunye nethemba lobuxoki. Masisebenzise umzekelo womntwana oxhatshazwayo ngumzali we-narcissistic.
Umntwana uya kwenzakala ngokunzulu ngumzali, ngesiqhelo ngokwenzakala ngokweemvakalelo, ngamazwi, okanye ngengqondo. Baya kuthoba isidima kwaye baxelelwe indlela abangabalulekanga ngayo ukuba bangumthwalo, okanye bazizidenge, okanye impazamo. Umntwana uya kuphazamiseka ngokweemvakalelo. Into abayifunayo kukuba umntu abamthandayo abonise ububele obuncinci kubo.
Umntwana uya kwenza konke okusemandleni abo ukuzama ukufumana isiqwenga sothando lomzali kunye nothando. Ngokulandelayo, umzali unokubanda kwaye abe kude, ade athuke ngakumbi okanye akhohlakele, ke umntwana uzama ngakumbi nangakumbi. Ekugqibeleni, loo narcissist uya kujika athande ibhombu encinci, ethi ekugqibeleni inike lo mntwana ulihlwempu uthando kunye nokhuseleko.
Kude kube kuphinda kwaxhwilwa kwakhona, kwaye umjikelo oyingozi uqala ngokutsha.
Yintoni enokuba lunxibelelwano olusempilweni, nothando phakathi komzali nomntwana olugqityiweyo lube ngumdlalo owoyikekayo apho iithoyi zokudlala ze-narcissist kunye nomntwana ukuze zifumane ingqalelo kunye ne-sycophancy abayifunayo.
ndiyamthanda nyani lomfo
Kwelinye icala, umntwana ukhula abe novakalelo olugqithisileyo kwimeko yeemvakalelo zomzali wabo, ke baya kwenza nantoni na abanokuyenza ngothando oluthile.
Aba bantu basemngciphekweni bafunda indlela yokuzibandakanya nabo bangoyena nobangela weentlungu zabo kunye nokungcatshwa, ngenxa yokuba banyanzelwa ukuba benze njalo. Kwakunyanzelekile ukuba bathambise kwaye bafune ububele obuncinci kuba babexhomekeke kubo bonke abahlukumezi kuyo yonke inkalo yenkxaso kunye nentlalo-ntle yabo.
Ngokuqinisekileyo baphela bephindaphinda lo mjikelo ngobuhlobo kunye nolwalamano lothando njengoko bekhula. Baza kuphinda benze iimeko abaziqhelileyo ngethemba lokuba ngeli xesha, baya kuthandwa kwaye baxatyiswe njengoko behlala befuna ukuba njalo.
Uninzi lweeMpaths ziyakuqonda oku, kwaye zikhethe iiNarcissists nangayiphi na indlela
Unokumangaliswa kukufumanisa ukuba uninzi lwee-empaths ziyazi kakuhle le ndlela yokuziphatha, kwaye ukhetha ukwehla ngaloo ndlela.
Abanye bayala ukuqhawula ubudlelwane namaqabane abo abathandanayo kuba baziva bebophelelekile kubo ngenxa yoluvo losapho. Basenokuba bazithembisile ukuba amaqabane abo 'abathanda ngenene ezantsi,' ke bayaqhubeka nokunyamezelana nokuxhatshazwa, nangona besazi ngokupheleleyo ukuba bayonakaliswa.
Ngapha koko, abanye bade baqhekeze iziqhulo malunga ne-narcissist yabo, kunye nendlela ubudlelwane babo obuqhekezwe ngayo ngokwaneleyo ukugcina izinto zihamba. Kuba kubonakala ngathi oko kuphilile?
Kunzima kakhulu ukungqina olu hlobo lweemeko kwaye uzive ungenamandla okubanceda. Xa ukhathalele umhlobo okanye ilungu losapho ngokunzulu, kwaye ubona ukuba basokola kangakanani neqabane / iqabane / iqabane lakho, ngokungathandabuzekiyo ufuna ukubanceda baphume kuloo meko.
Ngenye indlela, ukuba uyi-empath eyazi ngokupheleleyo inyani yokuba ukhethe ukuba kunye ne-narcissist, unokuhlala uqhekeka phakathi kweemvakalelo ezahlukeneyo.
Umzekelo, unokuyicekisa indlela ophathwa ngayo liqabane lakho, kodwa ufuna ngamandla ukubanceda kuba uyazi ukuba i-narcissism yabo isuka kwindawo eyonzakeleyo.
ukwamkela umntu ukuba ngubani
Kodwa bakukhathaza kakubi, kwaye ufuna ukuba intlungu iphele, kodwa uyazi ukuba ayizuku…
… Kwaye ke ukujikeleza kuyaqhubeka kujikeleza ezantsi, ezantsi, kude kufike ukuwa ekugqibeleni.
Oku kuvuthwa kuyabonakala kwakhona xa kufikwa kwi-empaths ezikwaziyo ukuxhomekeka kwazo, kwaye zifuna inkxaso ngayo, kodwa ngokwenene azifuni ukuthatha inyathelo lokuphelisa imeko.
Abanye abantu babhekisa kolu tyekelo “njengombuzo.” Ukuba awuqhelani nekota, yimeko apho umntu eya kubuza umbuzo ofanayo kaninzi, efuna impendulo ethile. Ukuba abayifumani le bayifunayo, abayi kukuhoya oko kuthethwayo… kude kube lixesha elizayo, xa beza kuphinda babuze eyona nto inye kwakhona.
Bakhangele ukuqinisekiswa kunye nokuqinisekiswa, hayi inyani.
Ke ungangumbono okhalaza kabuhlungu kubahlobo bakho nakumalungu osapho malunga nendlela ebaphatha kakubi ngayo iqabane lakho. Ke, nini kwaye ukuba isangqa sakho ekuhlaleni sikubiza ngobudlelwane bakho obungenampilo, unokuba nomsindo nabo. Bangalinga njani ukuthetha ngomxhaphazi wakho ngaloo ndlela?
Uninzi lweemfesane luya kukhusela iqabane labo (ngokuxhaphaza ngokuxhaphaza i-narcissist) esihogweni nasemva, nangona zingababangeli ukuba baphele kwintlungu. Baya kuthi nokuba bayazi kakuhle ukuba iqabane labo lihlukumeza, kodwa ukuhlala nabo ukhetho lwabo , kwaye ifanele ihlonelwe.
Ekugqibeleni, bafuna ukusebenzisa isangqa sabo sentlalontle njengamahlombe ukulila ngenxa yokuba baphathwa kakubi, kodwa bafuna wonke umntu ukuba alibale yonke into 'embi' abayithethileyo kwangoko xa isifo sabo seStockholm sikhaba.
Nokuba bangayenza ntoni i-narcissist yabo kubo, baya kuba nenkcazo ngayo.
'Akathethi ukuba ukhohlakele, kodwa wayenobuntwana obubi ...'
'Ewe ufuna ingqwalaselo enkulu, unemicimbi yokulahla…'
'Ewe, ukrwada kwaye undibeka phantsi kakhulu, kodwa uneengxaki zempilo…'
Baya kufumana ukukhusela ngokukrakra iqabane labo / umxhaphazi ukuba nabani na omnye uthetha into engalunganga ngabo.
Khumbula ukuba ngaphezu kwayo yonke into, yintoni i-narcissists efuna kakhulu kweli hlabathi ukuba ihlonishwe. Indalo yabo yokuzenzela, yokuzibandakanya iyakufihla ukungazithembi okungakholelekiyo. Kungenxa yoko le nto befuna ukuqinisekiswa rhoqo kunye nokunqula kwabo babangqongileyo.
Kunini kwaye xa befika umntu ongabathandiyo, ongenakumthande, okanye ongabakhathalelanga konke konke, onokubenzakalisa kakhulu.
Kwaye ke baguqukela kwisilwanyana sasekhaya, belila kwaye 'besesichengeni,' kwaye ukukhatywa kwabo kukhatywa kwizixhobo eziphezulu ukubakhusela. Bakholelwa ekubeni ukuba bayamkhusela umntu ogcina iziyobisi, oko kuyakungqina kubo ukuba babathanda kangakanani, kwaye bayakuboniswa nothando ngokulandelelana kwabo.
Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, wonke umntu unokulungiswa, okanye aphiliswe, okanye 'asindiswe' ngothando olwaneleyo, inkathalo kunye nemfesane, akunjalo?
yintoni umahluko phakathi kothando nokwenza isondo
Hayi.
Olu lwalamano alunakulunga
Ukuba u-empath oye waphela ngokuphindaphindiweyo kubudlelwane obufana nale nto, kufike wena ukutshintsha indlela oziphethe ngayo.
Umlingane wakho we-narcissistic akazukutshintsha, nokuba ukuqonda kangakanani, umonde, uthando kunye nokuzinikela okukuphosa kuloo mngxunya umnyama.
Abayi kutshintsha kuba bengayiboni indlela abaziphethe ngayo njengokuxhaphaza. Nokuba usebenzisa i-genetics, unxibelelwano ngemithambo-luvo, okanye amava abo obuntwana abonakalisayo, i-wiring yabo yile yokuba bahlala bezibona bengamaxhoba kunye nabafeli-nkolo.
Abakwazi kuva novelwano, endaweni yoko babona abanye njengezithuthi zokufezekisa iimfuno kunye neminqweno yabo.
Ngokuqinisekileyo, uninzi lwabantu lunokutshintsha, kodwa oko kwenzeka kuphela xa benomnqweno oqinisekileyo wokwenza njalo. Kutheni le nto umntu ebeke nawuphi na umzamo wokutshintsha xa enyanisekile engakholelwa ukuba wenza into egwenxa?
Ngokuchanekileyo: ayizukwenzeka.
Okokuqala nokuphambili, kubalulekile ukuba uqonde ukuba kutheni le nto uhlala utsaleleka kwezi ntlobo zabantu. Kuphela ngokwazi ibali lakho leMvelaphi apho uya kuba nakho ukutshintsha.
Buphi obu buhlobo buhamba incoko
Kulapho kuluncedo kakhulu ukuzifumanela ingcali yonyango elungileyo. Banokukukhokela ngemibuzo emikhulu kunye nokuzilolonga okuya kukuvumela ukuba ubuyele apho umonakalo wakho uqale khona.
Xa sijongana nezo ntlungu zakudala kwimithombo yazo, oko kudala isiphumo sokuhla. Asiyi kuphulukisa ngomlingo ngobusuku obunye, kodwa kuyothusa indlela epiphany malunga nokuba ezinye zeendlela zokuziphatha eziqale ngayo ezinokubachaphazela ngalo mzuzu wangoku. Oku kunokuba yinyani kumashumi eminyaka ezantsi emgceni.
Nje ukuba umntu abe nolo hlobo lwe-epiphany, banokuwuphula umjikelo.
Ngapha koko, kulula kakhulu ukwenza njalo. Apho ngaphambili, usenokuba ulibonile iqabane lakho elingumlingisi njengexhoba lokuba lingene kwikhowudi kwaye lingenakufikeleleka kakuhle ngokweemvakalelo, baya kuthi ngoku bajongwe ngokucacileyo.
Kusenokubakho uvelwano olukhoyo, kuba iimfesane zinobuntu obukhathalayo, kodwa ngekhe uzive ukuba kukho isidingo sokwamkela uthando okanye uxabiso kubo. Kananjalo awuyi kuchaphazeleka ziibharb zabo kunye neejabs. Kuya kufana nokubukela umntwana ephosa amatye entabeni ngeenzame zokufumana impendulo kuyo okanye eyenzakalise.
Xa ufika kuloo ndawo, i-narcissist ayiyi kuba namandla phezu kwakho. Uya kuba nakho ukuzikhulula kubo, ngaphandle kwentlungu ehlala ixesha elide yokuzibuza ukuba ngekhe wenze enye into ukubenza bakuthande.
Uya kuba nakho ukuqala ngokutsha, usazi ukuba umjikelo wobunzima bokungonwabi usempilweni uphelile. Kwaye awusoze uphinde ube nolwalamano nomnxibelelanisi kwakhona.
Ngaba awuqinisekanga ukuba kutheni utsaleleka kwii-narcissists okanye ungayeka njani ukuwawela? Thetha kunyangi namhlanje onokuhamba kwinkqubo. Cofa nje apha ukudibanisa nenye.
Unokuthanda:
- Kutheni le nto UNGAFUNI UKUZE uzame iTherapy yoNyango ngeNarcissist
- Izinto ezi-8 eziBalulekileyo ekuBuyiseni kwiNarcissistic Abuse
- Indlela yokujongana neNarcissist: Ekuphela kwendlela eQinisekisiweyo yokuSebenza
- Unxibelelana njani ngokufanelekileyo emva kobudlelwane bobuNarcissistic
- 9 Iimvakalelo zokuba abaNarcissist bafuna ukuKwenza kumaXhoba abo
- Yeyiphi indlela yeGrey Rock kunye nendlela yokuyisebenzisa ngokuchasene neNarcissists
- Izinto ezijijekileyo ezi-5 zeNarcissists zitsho kwaye zenze ukuba ubuye
