Iinyanga ezilishumi elinambini lixesha elide hayi ukwenza into.
Ingakumbi ukuba ukuthandana yeyona nto ungayenziyo.
Ke, kutheni uyincamile?
Njengoko ibali lam lihamba, kwakungayi kuba ngaphezu kwemizuzwana engama-2.375 emva kokuba ndiphelile ubudlelwane obuyingozi ukuba ndenze iinyanga ezili-12 kungekho sicwangciso sokuthandana. Impatho-gadalala endandiyinyamezele iphantse yandophula kwaye ndazi ukuba ndifuna ixesha elinzima ndedwa.
Ke, ndiwabambe amazinyo, ndanabahlobo abanjengegeza, kwaye ndakwamkela ukuphiliswa.
Kwaye yayilelona Khetho lubalaseleyo endakha ndalwenza. Ngokwenyani, indenze ndayibamba ngcono ngenxa yotshintsho lwangaphakathi oluvelisileyo.
Nantsi indlela ikhefu lokuthandana elinokukwenza ubambe ngcono kwiqabane elizayo.
1. Nika imikhwa yakho exhomekeke kuyo
Abasetyhini abaninzi bazifumana bekwindlela ekhohlakeleyo yokuthandana nohlobo olufanayo lwamadoda axhaphazayo. Ndizifumene ndibanjiwe kulo mjikelo, ngokunjalo.
Ayothusi into yokuba ukuxhomekeka kwikhowudi kuneengcambu zokuzithemba okuphantsi. Ngokwe Psychology Namhlanje , luhlobo lokuziphatha kokuzincama apho thina baxhomekekileyo sifuna ukusindisa amalungu asebenza eluntwini.
Endaweni yokuhlangula nabani na, sizenzakalisa. Nangona, ukuyeka lo mkhwa ungalunganga ayingomsebenzi olula ukuwenza.
Umqala we ukuyeka isimilo esixhomekekileyo Ndiziva ngathi ndiphumle ngokungathandabuzekiyo. Kufana nentsholongwane erhawuzelayo ethi, nje ukuba ibambe, kufuneka uvumele ukudlula kwinkqubo yakho.
Ukuyeka ngokusisigxina imikhwa yam yokuxhomekeka kwikhowudi kuye kwafuna ukuba ndisebenzise indlela yokuzikhathalela esempilweni. Ndifunde nokugcina imida yomntu eqinileyo ngeli xesha.
kuthetha ukuthini ukuthathwa njengento engenamsebenzi kuthetha
Ngaphandle kokuthetha, ukufumana inkululeko yam ngokweemvakalelo kwakuphunyezwe kakuhle xa ndandingatshatanga. Emveni kwakho konke, ubomi obungatshatanga Ndivumele ukuba ndiqwalasele kum ngokungathandabuzekiyo.
2. Yamkela Ukuphilisa Ngexesha Elilodwa
Nangona kuyi nyaniso ukuba ama-introverts kunye nama-extroverts avuselelwa ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo, ukuphilisa kaninzi kwenzeka ngendlela efanayo-ngokwakho.
Mhlawumbi ubonise iinyanga ezili-12 zokuthandana ngesabatha njengokuhamba okude, cwaka kwindledlana yeemonki. Kodwa, kuyangxola kakhulu kunoko-iingcinga zakho, ubuncinci.
Iiveki neenyanga ezilandela ubudlelwane obunetyhefu ziphikisana nendlela yeemonki. Ukuba wedwa luhlobo lothuko olukhulu kwinkqubo yakho. Luhlobo 'lokuvala ukuva' into yento.
Kubudlelwane obunetyhefu, ingqalelo yakho ihlala ibuyela umva kwizinto ezingalunganga kuwe.
Nje ukuba iqabane lakho langaphambili eliyityhefu lithuliswe kukungabikho koqhakamshelwano (okanye unxibelelwano oluncinci) ukwahlukana, iingcinga zakho zokuzicekisa zinikezela kwixesha elitsha.
Ngeli xesha, unikwa ithuba lokuzifumanisa kwakhona kwaye unike ingqalelo kwiimpawu zakho ezingasetyenziswanga zangaphambili. Luhlobo 'lokwamkela kwakhona' iqela lakho.
3. Hlaziya ubuni bakho
Umbono we ukufezekisa ukusondelelana ngesondo kuthethwa kakhulu, kodwa akusoloko kunjalo. Ngamanye amaxesha, isondo sisini nje. Rhoqo, ayinanto kwaye ilahlekile ukusondela okukhethekileyo.
Ngawo onke amava obomi, ngakumbi kubudlelwane obungenampilo, isondo sinokuba nzima kwaye sibhidanise. Nangona yenzelwe ukuba ibe luqhakamshelwano olukhethekileyo phakathi kwabantu ababini, inokuba liqhinga ngakumbi.
Kwiinyanga ezininzi ndiye ndazinikezela kwimbono yokuba ndingaqala ukuba li-asexual. Kwakungekho nto yokuqhuba ngokwesondo okanye inkling ngaphakathi kwam. Ndaziva ndilahlekile.
NgokweMpilo yabaseTyhini , isini esincinci onaso, okuncinci okufunayo. Ke, le mvakalelo yayiqhelekile kwimeko yam.
Emva kokuzivumela ukuba ndibuyele kubudlelwane obubi, ndaqala ukuvusa umbono wokuthandana ngokwesondo kwakhona. Kuphela kuxa ndandizinike indawo ukuze ndamkele ulwalamano lokwenyani endinokuyifumana indawo ekwabelwana ngayo ngesondo kubudlelwane obusempilweni.
Ayisiyiyo le nto kuphela eyandenza ndanenkalipho kwiminqweno yam yesini njengowasetyhini, kodwa yabonisa ukuzithemba okwakukude ndaye kwelo sebe.
4.Yandisa ixabiso lakho ngokuzithanda
Ndithathe umfanekiso wam kwiprofayile yombhali malunga nenyanga ngaphambi kokuba ndigqibe ubudlelwane bam obunetyhefu. Nangona ndizama ukuncuma, yayijongeka njengegrimace ebukekayo.
Andimazanga kwaphela umntu osemfanekisweni. Ayinakuba ndim.
Ngaphandle kokuba bekunjalo.
Ukuba kubudlelwane obunetyhefu kunokonakalisa impilo yakho. Iqabane elihlukumezayo lidala uxinzelelo olunzulu kunye neendlela zabo zokukhohlisa. Uziva unale ngxaki emzimbeni wakho 24/7.
Xa ubudlelwane obunetyhefu buphela, kufuneka unonophelo olukhulu kunye nokuzithanda. Kunyanzelekile ukuba uzinikele ixesha kwi-TLC yakho eseleyo.
Ukuseka indlela yokuzikhathalela esempilweni kuthetha ukuvumela izinto ebomini bakho ezenza uzive ukhathalelwe. Oku kunokuthetha ukuba uzinike imizuzu engama-30 yokuhamba kwendalo yemihla ngemihla, ixesha lokufunda incwadi, okanye uzibonakalise ngobugcisa.
Emva kwento encinci yokuzibonisa ingqalelo efuneka kakhulu, ndiye ndaqala ukubona ubuso obujonge emva kwam esipilini.
Isibuko, isipili eludongeni… enkosi ngokuxhonywa apho nam.
Ithetha ukuthini xa umntu ekujongile engancumi
Unokuthanda (inqaku liyaqhubeka ngezantsi):
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- Iimpawu ze-3 zeMicimbi yokuThembela kunye nendlela yokufumana ngaphezulu kwazo
- Ungazami ukuMtshintsha, Uya kuzitshintsha ukuba uyakuthanda
- How To Be Single And Happy After A Long Relationship Ends
- Ukuba akuzange ube kubudlelwane okanye ukuthandana, Khumbula ezi zinto 7
5. Gxila kwiiNdawo eziPhambili ukuze ube noKhuseleko lwezeMali
Ubudlelwane phakathi kokhuseleko lwezezimali kunye a ubudlelwane obuphilileyo ayisoloko icacile. Kodwa, ubudlelwane phakathi kobudlelwane obunetyhefu kunye nokonakaliswa kwemali kucacile ngokuqinisekileyo.
Ngokufana nokuzimisela okungapheliyo ukuzama ukuzitshintsha kwiqabane lakho elinetyhefu, unokuzama ukubakholisa ngezinye iindlela. Ngokufanelekileyo, iindlela zezemali.
Akuqhelekanga ukuba ulahlekelwe yimali yakho okanye unikezele ukhuseleko lwakho lwezemali ngokupheleleyo.
Kwimeko yam, ndanditshona kumnqweno wakhe ongonelisekiyo wokondla umlutha (uninzi ngokwenene). Ubunzima bokufumana isonka buwele phezu kwam ngelixa esinye isiqingatha sobudlelwane bam sasikhululekile kwaye sicacile kulo naluphi na uxanduva lwezezimali.
Nje ukuba iqabane lam lingabikho emfanekisweni, kwacaca kabuhlungu ukuba sesinye sezizathu zokuba ndonzakaliswe kakubi ngokwezimali. Ndiphinde ndakwazi ukugxila kuzinzo lwam kunye nokunciphisa imeko yam yezemali.
6. Nika uLawulo lwesimo sengqondo esingaqhelekanga
Ngokuqinisekileyo ayothusi into yokuba ukuba kubudlelwane obunetyhefu kuhlala kuthetha ukuba lixhoba le-narcissist kunye nokulawula umntu. Inxalenye eyothusayo malunga noku kukuba imeko yokulawula ihlala iphuphuma kukuzibona kwakho.
Ngamanye amagama, iqabane lakho elinetyhefu lifuna ukuba utshintshe ngenxa yexabiso lakho 'leziphene' ezingapheliyo. Isiseko sesokuba: ukuba nje ungatshintsha, ubudlelwane buya kukhula.
Njengoko uyazi ngoku, isiphene silele ngaphakathi kwesiseko hayi wena.
Emva kokuba ubudlelwane buphelile, uyeka ukuzama ukuzitshintsha ngenxa yabo. Uyeka ukuthanda ukuba liqabane eligqibeleleyo kunye nomntu ongenasiphako. Unika ulawulo.
Endaweni yokuyigcina yonke ngelixa uhamba kwiigobolondo zamaqanda ujikeleze iqabane lakho, uyatshona phantsi kwiipijama zakho kwaye uve ukubetha kwentliziyo yakho okokuqala kwixesha elide.
Ukhona nje.
Kwaye kuyavakala ukuba ungafezekanga.
7. Phuhlisa isangqa esiqinileyo sabahlobo
Luhlobo olunikiweyo lokuba uphinde uqhagamshele kunye nabahlobo emva Ukwahlukana ngakumbi xa uthatha ikhefu kwezothando. Ngapha koko, kuyinto eqhelekileyo kwaye isempilweni.
Into endingakhange ndiyiqonde kukuba kungakanani ukubonwa kwam ukuthandana kwam nge-sabbatical kuya kuba kolunye ubudlelwane bam. UShannon Thomas ucacisa isidingo sokuseka imida esempilweni kwincwadi yakhe Ukuphiliswa kuXhatshazo olufihliweyo .
Ndixhobile ngolu lwazi, ndakwazi ukwenza uluhlu lwezinto ezicocekileyo zesangqa sam sabahlobo. Into endigqibile ngayo zimbalwa zabahlobo abasondeleyo ngokungathandabuzekiyo kwikona yam.
Nabani na owakhe wawela okanye wancwasa imida yakho ebephumile. Ndigcinile okona kulungileyo kwisangqa sam sangaphakathi.
Umbono woku kuhlanjululwa okucocekileyo yayikukuseka iqela labazalwana / oodade ababenomqolo wam nokuba impilo indibonise ntoni.
8. Lahla ixhala elinxulumene nokuthandana
Kulula ukuyichaza ngendlela engeyiyo idrama yothando. Emva koko, bobabini banomdla kwaye bazisa ukukhawuleza kwe-adrenaline.
Njengombhali wezempilo yengqondo, ndifuna ukukhwaza ndiphezu kophahla lwendlu ukuba yintoni le nto inovelwano ebesixelela yona ngalo lonke elixesha.
Idrama ayisiyo inkanuko. Idrama ivelisa ixhala. Njengoko kuvela, ixhala alinandawo esisigxina kubudlelwane bezothando. Ulwalamano oluninzi kakhulu olunetyhefu lubambisa iqabane elinye kwimowudi yokulwa okanye yokubhabha ngokusisigxina.
Le ndlela yokuphila iyasinda ethi isinde ngokulambisa ethi ijonge esipilini kwaye ingakuqapheli ukubonakaliswa kwakho.
Ukuchithwa kwe-Detoxing kunye nokuhlengahlengisa inkqubo ye-autonomic system yakho kuphela kwendlela yokufumana kwakhona kwi-traumatic trauma trauma.
Imithambo yokuphefumla ngokunzulu, uqinisekiso, kunye neyoga yayizinto endizibekeleyo ukuza kuthi ga ngoku. Iankile endiya kubambelela kuyo ngobomi obuthandekayo.
Umyalezo wokuGoduka
Izinto endizifundileyo ngexesha lam lokuthandana ixesha elide lonyaka zazizo zonke izifundo zobomi ezixabisekileyo ezandenza ukuba ndibambe ngcono iqabane lam elizayo.
Kwakungekokude ndide ndifumane eli xesha lotshintsho apho ndaziva ndomelele ngokwasemphefumlweni kwaye ndizimele. Ukusebenza kwam ngaphakathi ngoku kwahambelana nokuqhuba kwam ngaphandle ebomini. Kwaye olu tshintsho belusisigxina.
Ndicinga ukuba ungatsho ukuba ikhefu lam ekuthandaneni libonakalise ukuba yinto yokuphila engaziyo ukuba ndiyayidinga.
Kodwa, xa ubomi bukunika ithuba, eyona nto unokuyenza kukuthatha umngeni ngentliziyo iphela.
