Ngaba uqaphele ukuba zingaphi iinkqubo zikamabonwakude kunye neefilimu 'ngamabali empumelelo' malunga nesizungu, umfazi olusizi ongatshatanga okokugqibela ukufumana uthando olumgqibezelayo? Njani ubomi bakhe ngokusisiseko iqokobhe elingenanto ade afumane ngomlingo iqabane eliza kuvuma ukuba naye? Imiboniso emininzi kakhulu njengaleyo ikho, kwaye ngaphezulu kokuvezwa kukuqhutywa okunje kwenza uninzi lwabasetyhini luzive ukuba kukho into engalunganga kubo, kwaye kukho into elahlekileyo kubomi babo ngaphandle kokuba badityanisiwe. Uthini umthwalo wesibini.
Oku kukude nesithuba esibuhlungu, esigcwele amazwi ovelwano kubabodwa kunye nokuqinisekisa ukuba amahlwempu, amanenekazi angatshatanga aya kufumana iinkosana zawo ezintle ngenye imini. Hayi ngekhe.
indlela yokwenza into ongafuniyo ukuyenza
Le yi-ode kumfazi ongatshatanga olaziyo ixabiso lakhe kwaye akazukuhlawula nantoni na engaphantsi kweqabane elilinganayo… kwaye ukuba elo qabane alikafumaneki, kungcono ahlale engatshatanga, enkosi.
Uyazi ukuba ungubani (okanye unombono olungileyo, ubuncinci)
Umfazi okhetha ukungatshati kwihlabathi elibonakala lithe phithi ngabantu ababhangayo ngumntu owomeleleyo, ozithembileyo. Ukuba sele engenayo ingqiqo eqinisekileyo yesiqu sakhe, amathuba okuba athathe amanyathelo okufika apho, kwaye ubuncinci unombono oqinisekileyo wokuba angubani. Oku kubandakanya ukwazisa ngento ayenzayo nangayifuniyo, kwaye akazukuvuma ukwenzelwa iqabane elinokubakho.
Abantu abangatshatanga abangazami kangako ukufumana amaqabane bathambekele ekuhlakuleleni ubuhlobo obucebile nabanye, kwaye bahlala benendawo encinci yedrama. Bathatha ixesha lokungeniswa ngaphakathi, kwaye banokuthatha inxaxheba ekuqhubeni ingqondo yomzimba-womphefumlo njengeyoga okanye tai chi. Ukungazisongeli ngokupheleleyo komnye umntu kuvumela umntu ukuba azimilise kwaye azi ukuba ngoobani, kwaye loo nto iyabanceda ukuba babone ukuba zeziphi ezona mpawu bazitsalela kakhulu kwiqabane.
Uyakwazi kwaye uzithembile
Ngaba uyazi ukuba abafazi abangatshatanga bahamba kakhulu rhoqo kunamadoda angatshatanga? Umfazi ongatshatanga ozithembileyo kwaye ophuhlise imeko ye-adventure kunokwenzeka ukuba apakishe ibhegi kwaye aphume aye kuhlola indawo entsha kunogxa wakhe oyindoda. Kukho iindawo ezintle zokufumanisa kwihlabathi liphela, kwaye uyazi ukuba uyakonwabela amava ngaphandle kokuyekisa ukuzonwabisa kwakhe ngenxa yomnye umntu.
Ukungatshati kukwathetha ukuba uzixhasile kwaye ngokunokwenzeka uxhomekeke kuye kuphela iminyaka. Uzimele ngokwasezimalini, kunokwenzeka ukuba enze inani elifanelekileyo lokulungiswa kwamakhaya yedwa, kwaye angakwazi nokulungisa iingxaki zesigcawu ngaphandle kokubiza uncedo.
Unemfesane, kodwa akananyamezelo kwiDrama
Ukuba kubudlelwane nomnye umntu ngokungathandabuzekiyo kuthetha ukuba ukwabudlelwane nabanye abantu ebomini babo: amalungu osapho anzima, abahlobo abarhabaxa, i-ex engayi kuvuma, njl njl. Abantu abangatshatanga banedrama encinci Ukulwa kule nkalo, kwaye ke ngenxa yoko bahlala benomonde omncinci xa kuvela.
Kusenokwenzeka ukuba uyaqonda kwaye enovelwano , kuba ngokungathandabuzekiyo kuye kwafuneka ukuba alwe nesabelo sakhe esifanelekileyo sobunzima kule minyaka idlulileyo, kodwa uyazi ukuba uzokubeka nini umgca. Ukuba uziva ukuba abantu bayamsebenzisa okanye bayamsebenzisa nangayiphi na indlela, uyakubabiza ukuba benze njalo, okanye ayiphelise ngokukhawuleza. Akukho gumbi ebomini bakhe leeches okanye i-vampires zengqondo.
Unokuthanda (inqaku liyaqhubeka ngezantsi):
- How To Be Single And Happy After A Long Relationship Ends
- Izizathu eziyi-8 zokuba nethemba ukuba ukhathazekile awusoze ulufumane uthando
- Iimpawu ze-13 unobuntu obomeleleyo obunokoyikisa abanye abantu
- Iimpawu ezi-7 eziNkulu zeQabane lakho likubona njengokhetho, hayi eyona nto iphambili
Uyazi ukuba ufanelekile
Umfazi ochithe ixesha elininzi eyedwa ngokubanzi unombono oqinisekileyo ngexabiso lakhe, kokubini njengomntu, kunye neqabane lothando. Uyazi amandla akhe, ubuchule bakhe, ubabalo lwakhe. Unokuba nomonde kwaye abe nobubele, okanye abe ndlongondlongo kwaye aqhutywa, okanye indibaniselwano entle yazo zombini. Usenokuthetha iilwimi ezininzi, okanye abe nakho ukupheka ngendlela enokubeka uNigella ehlazweni, okanye mhlawumbi angabanakho nje malunga nabani na kwiWarcraft.
Ngaphandle kwencasa yezakhono zakhe ezizodwa kunye nobuchule bakhe, uyazi kakuhle ukuba woyike kangakanani, kwaye ufuna ukuba abonwe ngenxa yobunewunewu obuthethiweyo. Lo ngumfazi ongayi kubakho ithathwa njengesiqhelo , kuba akanangxaki kwaphela ukuhamba emntwini ongamxabisiyo. Ulungile ukuba yedwa, kwaye angathanda ukuba yedwa ukuze aphathwe kakubi.
Akayi kuhlala
Fuck iikowuti malunga neenkosana, amaqabane omphefumlo, kunye nesizathu sokuba ungatshatanga kuba indalo iphela 'isabhala ibali lakho lothando'. Hayi ngekhe.
Masithathe isicatshulwa kwenye yeencwadi zika-Anais Nin endaweni yoko:
U-dean ambrose ushiya isizathu
Mna, ndinomnqweno onzulu, ndikhetha indoda enyanzela amandla am, owenza iimfuno ezinkulu kum, ongathandabuziyo isibindi sam okanye ubungqongqo bam, ongakholelwayo kum naïve okanye omsulwa, onesibindi sokundiphatha njenge umfazi.
(Makhe siqwalasele ukusebenzisa kwakhe 'indoda' etshintshelwe ekubeni liqabane elingathathi cala ngokwesini apha, kwaye siyigolide.)
Kwixesha elidlulileyo, umfazi ongapheliyo ongatshatanga unokuboniswa njengomntu odumbayo kwaye ongathandekiyo, enobuntu oburhabaxa kunye nokusilela ngokupheleleyo kuluntu. Ngokusisiseko, ibhinqa elingenakufunwa yindoda, yiyo loo nto isizathu sokuba lingoyedwa. Elo bala lisemi kakhulu, kwaye ayiqhelekanga into yokuba abantu bazibuze ukuba yintoni ingxaki kumfazi ukuba akatshatanga eneminyaka ethile. Jonga ii-synopses zeBridget Jones's Diary ezinokufumaneka kwiiwebhusayithi ezininzi, kwaye uyakufumanisa ukuba ukongeza kuye (ekubonakala ukuba zininzi) iziphene zomzimba, '… okubi kakhulu, akatshatanga'. Njengokuba kusisiphelo esibi ngaphezu kokufa.
Bangaphi abantu obaziyo abangafezekisi ubudlelwane kuba bengafuni ukuba bodwa? Okanye ngenxa yokuba befumene umntu abasebenzisana naye 'kakuhle', kwaye ngenxa yoko baziva ngathi bangadaka badibane ne-metric arseload imikhwa emibi bayalidelela iqabane labo kuba ngamanye amaxesha bayavana ngokufanelekileyo? Yanele lonto. Baninzi kakhulu abantu ababekela bucala iimfuno zabo zokwenza omnye umntu ebomini babo abe yeyona nto iphambili, kwaye bathi iqabane alifane liphindise. Yinto enye ukuba abantu baphila ngenene ukuze benze obomnye ubomi buhle, kodwa ukuba elinye iqabane lithatha kude kakhulu kunokuba linikezela ngokulandelelana, ngamashumi amahlanu eemithunzi ezingamkelekanga, kanye apho.
Ke masiphakamise iiglasi zethu (okanye iikomityi zekofu) kwi-toast kumfazi ongatshatanga ongapheliyo. Enkosi ngokusikhumbuza ukuba sizihlonele kwaye sizihlonele, ukuze nabanye basihloniphe. Ukhokela ngomzekelo, uhamba indlela yokuzimela, ubabalo, isidima, kwaye ngethemba lokuba sisihogo solonwabo oluninzi, ngaphandle kokujongela phantsi amaxabiso akho okanye ukwamkela okungaphantsi kokufaneleyo.
Ukuba ukufumana iqabane lomphefumlo lokwenene yile nto uyifunayo, ngokungathandabuzekiyo yinto oya kuyifumana. Ngethamsanqa kuwe: unegazi elifanelekileyo ufanelwe kokona kulungileyo.
