Ngaba ukhe wagcina imfihlo kwiqabane onqwenela ukuba uza kucacisa ngalo?
Mhlawumbi ugcina imfihlo kumntu omthandayo ngoku, kwaye awuqinisekanga nokuba wenza into elungileyo.
Kuyinyani ukuba iintlobo ezithile zeemfihlo ngamanye amaxesha zinendawo yazo kwiindawo ezithile zobomi, kodwa xa kufikwa kubudlelwane bezothando, kufanele ukuba zihlala zihlala zithintelwa njengesibetho.
Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, iimfihlo zinesiphiwo esingaqhelekanga sokugrumba indlela yazo kumphezulu kunye nokuzazisa.
Zimbalwa kakhulu iimfihlo ezihlala ziyimfihlo ngonaphakade, kwaye okwangoku, zinokutya isazela somgcini wemfihlo.
Ngaba awuqinisekanga?
ukubukela ungaphefumli kwi-intanethi simahla
Ngaba ucinga ukuba iimfihlo ngamanye amaxesha zinendawo kubudlelwane?
Funda ukuze ufumane ukuba kutheni kungafuneki ukuba ugcine iimfihlo kulowo umthandayo ukuba ufuna ubudlelwane phakathi kwakho bukhule kwaye buhambe umgama.
Umahluko phakathi kwemfihlo kunye neemfihlo kubudlelwane
Ngaphambi kokuba sijonge izizathu zokuba kufuneka uvuleke kwaye uthembeke kwiqabane lakho, kubalulekile ukuba uqwalasele ukuba uphi umgca phakathi kokugcina ubumfihlo bakho kubudlelwane kunye nokugcina iimfihlo.
Sonke sinelungelo lokuba neemfihlo kulo naluphi na uhlobo lobudlelwane. Iqabane lakho akufuneki lazi zonke iinkcukacha ngobomi bakho, okanye ubomi obukhe wabuphila ngaphambi kokuba beze.
Nobabini niyalihlonipha ilungelo lomnye umntu lokugcina izinto ezithile ziyimfihlo. Kuya kufuneka uzive ukwazi ukuthemba ukuba abafihli nantoni na enokukuchaphazela okanye ikwenzakalise.
Abanye abantu besiva isidingo sokuxelela iqabane elitsha ngeenkcukacha zonke ngezinto ezenzekileyo kwixesha labo elidlulileyo… kodwa ayinguye wonke umntu ofuna ukwazi.
Kutshanje, umhlobo wam ebekhathazekile ukuba isoka lakhe elitsha liza kumgweba ukuba ufumene malunga nexesha lakhe lokwabelana ngesondo (elalingelona ihlazo kwaphela, ngokokubona kwam).
Kodwa wamqinisekisa ukuba yena, ngokobuqu, uziva ukuba bobabini banelungelo lokuzigcina ezi zinto zabucala, kwaye akukho nto anokuyenza enokuchaphazela indlela awayeziva ngayo ngaye, ngoko ke akazange nje azive isidingo sokwazi.
Kwelinye icala, abanye abantu baziva bekhululekile kubudlelwane ukuba bobabini kunye neqabane labo banxibe iintliziyo zabo kwimikhono yabo.
Kodwa awunyanzelekanga ukuba wabelane ngeenkcukacha zonke zangaphambili lakho ngenxa yokuba iqabane lakho likucela kuwe.
Xa kuziwa kumgca phakathi kweemfihlo kunye nokuzimela, konke malunga nokungena kwisazela sakho.
Ngokucacileyo, ukuba yinto ebalulekileyo enokuba nefuthe kwiqabane lakho, banelungelo lokwazi ngalo.
Kodwa ukuba yinto eyenzakalisayo okanye ehlazisayo evela kwixesha lakho elidlulileyo, okanye ukuba ibandakanya omnye umntu onelungelo lokuzimela, loo nto yahlukile.
Ukuba yinto nje evela kwixesha lakho elidlulileyo ongakhetha ukungabelani ngalo kwaye awucingi ukuba inento yokwenza nolwalamano lwakho lwangoku, ukuyigcina iyimfihlo kulungile. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, inokucaphukisa iqabane lakho ngaphandle kokufumana nantoni na.
Uya kuhlala uyazi nzulu xa ufuna ukwabelana ngezinto neqabane lakho kwaye xa kulungile ukuba uzigcine kuwe.
Ukuba unokubaxelela, kunokwenzeka ukuba ityala elibi liya kukwazisa. Ukuba isazela sakho asidibani, mhlawumbi ulungile ukuba ungabelani ngaso.
Kodwa ukuba uyathandabuza, kungcono wenze impazamo kwicala lokulumkisa.
ukuqala njani kwakhona ubudlelwane kwasekuqaleni
Eyona ndlela ilungileyo ngesiqhelo ibaxelele, kwaye emva koko ujongane nokuwa okunokubakho, kunokuba uzigcine kuwe kwaye uzixhalabise malunga nokufumana okungaphaya emgceni.
Kunokuba luncedo kakhulu kuwe ukuba ube nengxoxo neqabane lakho ekuqaleni kobudlelwane benu kwaye, phakathi kwenu, nithathe isigqibo sokuba umgca uphi kwimiba emikhulu, njengemali kunye nokungathembeki.
Ngale ndlela, akukho mfuneko yokuba ukhathazeke malunga nokuba ungalixelela na iqabane lakho ukuba ucinga ukuba umntu omtsha osebenza naye eofisini ubethandana nawe, okanye into efanayo.
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- Uxolela njani umntu: 2 Iimodeli eziSekwe kwiSayensi kuXolelo
Izizathu ezi-4 zokuba ukugcina iimfihlo kungonakalisa ubudlelwane
1. Iyakwenza uzive unetyala, kwaye ikubeke emgceni.
Uninzi lwabantu luyasokola ukugcina iimfihlo kumaqabane abo kwaye banengxaki yokuziva benetyala xa besenza njalo, kwaye yile ndlela ekufanele ukuba yiyo.
Ukuba uyamthanda umntu, awufanele ufumane kulula ukumkhohlisa, nokuba ulungile ukuxoka ngokushiya kunokuxoka phambi kobuso babo.
Ikwenza uxineke, njengoko uhlala ulindele ukuba bakubambe okanye bakhubeke kwinto eza kuzisa imfihlelo yakho ekukhanyeni.
Kuya kuthetha ukuba ubeke umqobo okhuselayo phakathi kwakho nobabini kwaye uhlala ulumkele ukufumanisa. Oku kunokuba kunjalo ifuthe kubudlelwane bakho kunye nokusondela udle isiseko solwalamano lwakho.
2. Ukungathembani kubangela ukungathembani.
Ukuba ugcina iimfihlo kubo, yintoni abaza kuthi abayenzi into efanayo? Ubuncinci, yile nto uya kube ucinga ngayo.
Ungaqala ukuzibuza ukuba banokukufihlela ntoni, nayo, enokubangela ukungathembani kunye neparanoia.
3. Okukhona ixesha lihamba, kokukhona kuya kusiba nzima ukuvela.
Ukuba uqhubeka ubeka ukuxelela iqabane lakho ngemfihlo enkulu, iya kuba nkulu kwaye ibe nkulu, kude kube kutyhilwa kunokwenza umonakalo kwisiphelo kulwalamano.
Okukhona ulindile, kokukhona kuya kuba nzima ukunyaniseka ngayo.
Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, ukuba kunzima ukuva imfihlo, kuya kuba kubi ngakumbi ukuba, ngaphezulu koko, bafumanisa ukuba ubugcina into kubo ixesha elide.
4. Ukuba bakufumanisile, ukuthembana phakathi kwenu kunokuba nzima ukukulungisa.
Nokuba imfihlo encinci inokuba nzima ukubuya kubudlelwane, kuxhomekeke ekubeni yintoni.
ukudibana nomntu okokuqala emva kokubhala umyalezo
Ukuba iqabane lakho lifumanisa ukuba ugcine ngabom into kubo, nokuba incinci kangakanani, banokuqalisa ukuzibuza ukuba yintoni enye okhe waxoka ngayo okanye ongakhathalelanga ukuyikhankanya.
Zeziphi izinto ezingafanele ukugcinwa ziyimfihlo?
Ngoku siqwalasele izizathu zokuba kutheni iimfihlo zinokonakalisa ubudlelwane, lixesha lokuba uqwalasele iintlobo ngokubanzi zezinto ekufuneka ukuba, njengomthetho, uhlale usabelana nomntu onobudlelwane naye.
Nantoni na yokwenza kwezi zingezantsi zizinto ekufuneka uvulekileyo malunga neqabane lakho.
Imali -Izinto ezinje ngokungawahlawuli amatyala, ukuboleka imali, ityala, ilifa, kunye nendlela oyisebenzisa ngayo imali ayizizo izinto ekufanele ukuba uxoka ngazo xa usakha ubomi nomntu.
Imiba yomsebenzi -Ukuba umsebenzi wakho uphantsi kwesoyikiso, kufuneka bazi, njengoko kunokuba nefuthe kubomi bakho kunye.
Ukugula, kokubini ngokwasemzimbeni nasengqondweni -Ukuba unembali yeengxaki zomzimba nezengqondo, okanye uzifumana ngoku, iqabane lakho linelungelo lokwazi.
Ewe kunjalo, nantoni na enokwenza ne-STDs kufuneka kwabelwane ngayo neqabane lakho kwasekuqaleni kulwalamano lwakho.
Iziyobisi -Naluphi na uhlobo lokuziphatha okuluthayo lukhulu kwaye kufuneka luphathwe ngoluhlobo. Iqabane lakho kufuneka laziswe ngalo kwangoko kwangoko.
Imiba yezomthetho -Ukuba ubukhe wangena emthethweni okanye uzifumana usengxakini, iqabane lakho kufuneka lazi, nokuba ungaba neentloni okanye unokuba nzima kangakanani ukuba ubaxelele.
Ukuthandana -Kuba ngokweemvakalelo okanye ngokwasemzimbeni, nakuphi na ukungathembeki kufuneka kuvunywe ngokukhawuleza ukuba ubudlelwane bunethuba lokusinda.
Xa ungabelani ngemfihlo
Ukuba uthathe isigqibo sokuba lixesha lokuba wabelane ngento enkulu neqabane lakho, kuya kufuneka ulumke ngalo mzuzu ukhetha ukuwutyhila.
Sukuzisa izihloko ezikhohlisayo ngexesha lokulala, xa omnye wenu ediniwe, egula, enomsindo okanye enoxinzelelo, okanye xa sele ikhona enye into eyenzekayo eyenza ubomi bakho bube nzima.
Qiniseka ukuba nobabini nondlekile, ninamandla, kwaye aninazo naziphi na izibophelelo ezinkulu kamva ngala mini, ukuba kunokwenzeka badinga ixesha lokuziqhuba okanye bacaphukiswa yiyo.
Kodwa musa ukusebenzisa ukufumana umzuzu 'ogqibeleleyo' njengesizathu sokuqhubeka ubeka ngokungapheliyo, njengoko uya kuhlala ukwazi ukufumana isizathu sokuphuma kuwo.
imibuzo ukubuza iqabane lakho kubudlelwane
Ezinye iimfihlo kunokuba nzima ukuziva, kodwa ukujongana nomzuzu onzima, onzima ngoku ungcono kunokuba bazifumanele, okanye kufuneka ubaxelele ukuba ubufihle into ethile kubo ixesha elide.
Xa kuziwa kubudlelwane, konke kukunyaniseka, kokubini nesiqu sakho, kunye nabo.
Musa ukuyingcwaba intloko entlabathini, kwaye niziqwalasele iimvakalelo zabo ngalo lonke ixesha, kwaye musani ukuvumela iimfihlo ukuba zitye kwi-bond phakathi kwenu.
Ngaba awuqinisekanga ukuba wenzeni malunga neemfihlo kubudlelwane bakho? Thetha kwi-Intanethi kwingcali yobudlelwane kwi-Relationship Hero enokukunceda ufumane izinto. Ngokulula.
