UMerriam-Webster ichaza igama elithi ukuzingca ngoku Landelayo:
Ukuxhalaba ngokugqithileyo okanye ngokukodwa kuwe: ukufuna okanye ukugxila kukhetho lomntu, ulonwabo, okanye impilo ntle ngaphandle kokujonga abanye.
Kuvakala kakubi, akunjalo?
Ayisiyonto ongathanda ukuyinqwenela…
Kukho iinxalenye ezimbini zenkcazo ezenza ukuba umbono wokuba 'ulungile' ube yipilisi ekunzima ukuyiginya.
Kuqala, igama 'ngokugqithileyo' elichaza umntu kuphela kwaye uhlala ecinga ngeziqu zakhe.
Okwesibini, ibinzana elithi 'ngaphandle kokukhathalela abanye' elichaza umntu ongakhathaliyo ukuba izenzo zabo zibachaphazela njani abantu ababangqongileyo.
Ukuba sisusa la malungu, sinenkcazo enokubakho yokuzingca 'ngokulungileyo':
Ukuxhalabisa ngokukodwa: ukufuna okanye ukugxila kukhetho lomntu, uyolo, okanye impilo-ntle.
Kungcono kancinci, akunjalo?
Mhlawumbi isiqu sakho asililo negama elilungileyo. Mhlawumbi ukuzenzela okanye ukuzanelisa okanye ukuzicingela zizinto onokukhetha kuzo.
Kodwa njengakukuzingca, la magama afumana i-rap embi kuluntu lwanamhlanje.
Makhe sithethe ngokuba kutheni bengafanelekanga.
Nazi izizathu ezili-14 zokuba ukuzingca kulungile-ngaphakathi kwesizathu, kunjalo.
1. Awunakho ukuthulula kwindebe engenanto.
Yintetho eqhelekileyo esetyenziselwa ukukhuthaza ukuzinakekela, kodwa iyinyani.
Ukuba udiniwe emzimbeni, engqondweni, nasemphefumlweni, ulindele ukuba ube yeyiphi inkonzo kwabanye?
Ungazama ukunceda abanye kwaye usebenze ngokwakho emhlabeni, kodwa ixabiso legalelo lakho liyancipha kunye nentlalontle yakho.
Ngamanye amagama, ukuba awukhathaleli isiqu sakho, awunakuba nakho ukukhathalela abanye.
Ke ukuzingca -uhlobo olulungileyo-kuyafuneka ukuze ube negalelo elihle eluntwini nakubomi babantu abakungqongileyo.
2. Uyayiphepha ingqumbo.
Uziva njani emva kokuba unikele ngako konke ngenxa yomnye umntu?
Oko kuya kuxhomekeka kwindlela abanombulelo ngayo kwaye ukuba baya kuze babuyise inceba.
Kodwa kuxhomekeke ekubeni wenza ukuzinakekela kuqala.
Ukuba uhambe ngaphezulu nangaphaya ukuze uncede umntu, kodwa uziva ubaleka ungene emhlabeni ngenxa yoko, uya kuthi uzaliswe yinzondo.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukuba ubeka imida efanelekileyo kwimali onokuyinikela, uya kubambelela kwimvakalelo efudumeleyo evela kwinkonzo yabanye.
Ukuzincama okuthile kuhlala kuyinto elungileyo. Musa nje ukuyibaxa.
3. Uya kuba nexesha lokusebenza kwimpilo yakho yasemzimbeni nasengqondweni.
Uyazi ukuba kunjani xa ubaleka udlakadlaka uzama ukukhathalela wonke umntu… uvumela ukhathalelo lwakho lusokole.
Utya ukutya okungafunekiyo okungakumbi, wenza umthambo omncinci, kwaye awukhangeli nendlela oziva ngayo.
Ngokukhawuleza xa uqala ukuba nokuzingca kancinci, wenza ixesha kunye nendawo yokusebenza kwimpilo yakho.
Unokwenza ukutya okunesondlo okuphekwe ekhaya.
Unokulandela ulawulo lomthambo okanye udlale imidlalo oyithandayo.
Kwaye unokwenza izinto ezondla ingqondo yakho.
4. Unokubuphucula ubuchule bakho.
Kungathabatha ixesha elide ukuba ube ngolungileyo kwinto ethile. Kuthatha ukuziqhelanisa nokuzingisa.
Ukuba uhlala unikezela ngexesha lakho kwabanye abantu kunye nezizathu, ngekhe ube nexesha lokuphuhlisa izakhono ezibalulekileyo kuwe.
Awuyi kuba nakho ukufunda izinto ezintsha okanye ukuphucula iindlela owenza ngazo imisebenzi ethile.
Uya kusokola ukugqwesa kwinto ethile ukuba awukwazi ukubekela bucala ixesha lokuziqhelanisa nayo.
Ke ukuzingca kuyafuneka ekuphuculeni ngokwakho.
5. Unokulandela iinjongo zakho.
Njengakwezakhono, iinjongo aziziphumezi. Zifuna ubukrwada nokuzimisela… kunye nexesha.
Awunakulindela ukwenza inkqubela phambili kwiinjongo zakho ukuba uxakeke kakhulu ukhonza iimfuno zabanye abantu.
Ngokubiyela ngocingo isixa sexesha lakho olichitha usebenza ngokwakho, unokugcina inkqubela phambili ethe chu ngokubhekisele kwiinjongo kunye namaphupha akho.
Oku kunezinye izibonelelo nazo. Uya kuziva wonelisekile ngobomi bakho kwaye uzimisele ngakumbi ukunceda abanye xa ubona izinto onqwenela ukusondela kuzo.
6. Uya kuba nexesha elingakumbi lokucingisisa.
Kubalulekile ukuba uzihlole nathi amaxesha ngamaxesha ukuqinisekisa ukuba siphila uhlobo lobomi esinqwenela ukubuphila.
Ukucinga ngokwakho Isivumela ukuba sihlolisise indlela esivakalelwa ngayo malunga noko sikwenzayo ngoku ukuze silungelelanise imigudu yethu yokujonga izinto ezibaluleke ngakumbi.
Oku kunokuba kuvavanye iinjongo zethu kunye neminqweno yethu yokuqinisekisa ukuba isakulungele thina.
Inokubuza ukuba singaluphi na uncedo oluninzi kwabanye ukuze sichithe ixesha elininzi kwezi zinto.
Okanye isenokuba kukuchonga izinto esinganqweneli kuzenza kwakhona.
Unokuthanda (inqaku liyaqhubeka ngezantsi):
- Indlela yokutyala imali kuwe: Izinto ezi-4 eziNika eyona Mbuyekezo imnandi
- Iindlela ezili-10 zokuba ulunge kakhulu ziya kuphelela kuwe
- Oko Kuthethwa Kukuba Nobubele Kuwe: Kwiindlela ezili-9 onokuthi ubonakalise ngazo ububele bakho
- Ezona zinto ziphambili ebomini ezifanele ukuba zihlale zize kuqala
7. Uya kuqonda ukuzimela kwakho.
Xa usongelwe kubomi babanye, kunokuba nzima ukubona kunye nokuxabisa ukuzimela kwakho.
Xa uthatha inyathelo ubuyela umva, uyakuqonda ukuba uyakwazi kangakanani ukuzijonga.
Kwaye xa ukhumbula indlela onokuzimela ngayo, uya kuyixabisa ngakumbi.
Uya kuqala ukuzikhathalela ngcono kwaye uya kuziva uzithembile kubuchule bakho.
Uyaziva ukhululekile ukuba wedwa kwaye awuyi kufuna ukugcwalisa lonke ixesha lokuvuka ngokusombulula iingxaki zabanye abantu.
8. Uya kuba namandla ngakumbi.
Inxalenye yokuzingca kukuzijonga. Ngokwenza njalo, uya kuba kwimeko engcono yokujongana neengxaki zobomi.
Sonke sijongene namaxesha abuhlungu okanye anzima okanye omabini. Ukuba uphumle kakuhle, wonwabile ngokubanzi, kwaye unesiphatho kwimisebenzi yakho ephambili, uya kuziva ungcono ukumelana nezithintelo ezinjalo.
Ukuzingca kukwathetha ukuba uzimisele ngakumbi ukuyeka ezinye izibophelelo ngenxa yokufumana amaxesha anzima ojamelana nawo.
Awuyi kuthwaliswa uxanduva kwaye uya kuba negumbi lokuphefumla onokuthi ulisebenzise ukujongana nayo nayiphi na imiba enokuvunwa.
9. Uya kwandisa ukuzithemba kwakho.
Ixabiso olibonayo kuwe kunye nexesha olichitha usebenza kwi / ngokwakho lixhumene ngqo.
Kwaye ubudlelwane beendlela ezimbini.
Ewe, ukuba uphezulu ukuzixabisa , kunokwenzeka ukuba uzinyamekele ngokufanelekileyo.
Kodwa esona senzo sokuzikhathalela nokuzenzela indawo ephambili sonyusa ukuzixabisa kwakho.
Ke ukuba nokuzingca kuthetha ukuqonda ukuba ungumntu olungelwe kukukhathalelwa kwaye unikwe ingqwalaselo. Akunyanzelekanga ukuba uyinike bonke abanye abantu.
10. Awuyi kuphila ngokulindelwe ngabanye.
Xa ungazicingeli kwaphela, unika ulawulo kuhlobo lobomi obukhokelayo.
xa ungaziva uthandwa
Uhlala usekhayeni kwaye ubiza abanye abantu kwaye ngenxa yoko uhlala ngokolindelo lwakho kuwe.
Ngokulinganayo, awungekhe unqwenele ukudanisa abantu ababalulekileyo ebomini bakho - ikakhulu abazali bakho okanye iqabane lakho- kwaye ke wenze le nto bafuna ukuyenza.
Ulandela ikhondo lomsebenzi abakubekele wona, unxiba indlela abafuna ukuba unxibe ngayo, kwaye wenza into abafuna ukuba uyenze.
Ukuzingca okuncinci kulungile kwezi meko. Endaweni yokuwela emgceni nokuthobela iminqweno yabo, ungalandela izinto ezibalulekileyo kuwe, hayi zona.
11. Uya kukhetha umgangatho ngaphezu kobungakanani.
Ngaba uphethwe yi-FOMO-uloyiko lokulahleka?
Zininzi izimemo zokwenza izinto nokuhamba iindawo. Baninzi abantu ukuze bahlale bonwabile.
Ke uthi ewe kuwo wonke umntu nayo yonke into kuba ucinga ukuba yile nto kufanele ukuba uyayenza.
Kodwa isiqingatha sexesha awunomdla wokwenza into okanye ukubona umntu.
Ngapha koko, wena Ndifuna nje ukuhlala ekhaya ngencwadi elungileyo okanye kumabonwakude.
Ewe, ukuzingca kukuvumela ukuba wenze njalo. Inika ukuzithemba kumandla akho okuthi hayi.
Ikuvumela ukuba ugxile kumgangatho wezinto othi ewe kuzo, ukuze ufumane olona lonwabo kuzo.
12. Ubuhlobo bakho buya kuxhamla.
Njengoko sele kumisiwe, ukuba uhlala unika abanye abantu, akukho nto ingako ushiyekileyo.
Kwaye ukuba ubaleka ungenanto, ngekhe ukwazi ukugcina ubudlelwane obubaluleke kakhulu kubudlelwane ukuze uhlale womelele kwaye usempilweni.
Ngapha koko, kunokwenzeka ukuba uthabathe abanye kwaye ube krakra kubo.
Ke, njengokuchasana nokuvakala kwayo, ukuzingca okuncinci kunokuba yinto elungileyo kubudlelwane bakho.
Uya kuba yinkampani engcono ukuba ube phakathi kwakho, uya kuba namandla okuthatha inxaxheba kwincoko efanelekileyo, kwaye uya kuziva ukhathalele kwaye unothando.
13. Uya kuba nemveliso ngakumbi.
Xa uzikhathalela, uxhotyiswe ngakumbi ukwenza zonke izinto ekufuneka uzenzile.
Xa ungazoluli uzinze kakhulu ngokuzibophelela, ungagxila kakhulu kwezo uzenzayo.
Ke uya kuba nemveliso ngakumbi kwizinto zonke.
Emsebenzini, uya kuba nakho ukuqhubeka nomsebenzi okwangoku ngelixa ucinga ngekamva lakho elizayo.
Ekhaya, uya kuba nakho ukukhathalela usapho lwakho ngaphandle kokuzihoya.
Ngokwenene uya kufumana okuninzi ngokuzingca kunokuba ubungenjalo ukuba ubungekho.
14. Uya kufuna ukhathalelo oluncinci kwabanye.
Ukuba uchitha ubomi bakho bonke ubandakanyeka kwinkxalabo yabanye, kukho ithuba elihle lokuba uya kufuna umntu oza kukukhathalela.
Ukuzitshisa kwiinkonzo zabanye abantu kuya kukwenza ukuba ube semngciphekweni wezifo zomzimba kunye neenkxalabo zempilo yengqondo.
Okona kuncinci, uya kuzifumanisa ukuba ukhupha iingxaki zakho kunye noxinzelelo kwabo basondele kuwe.
Ke kuya kufuneka uzibuze ukuba ingaba yile nto uyifunayo. Ngaba uyafuna ukuthwalisa umntu omthandayo ngenxa yokuba uzama kakhulu ukuba zizinto zonke kubo bonke abantu?
Impendulo oyifunayo ngu 'hayi'
Ungazicingela njani-Uhlobo oluLungileyo
Okwangoku kuya kufuneka uqiniseke ukuba ukuzingca kulungile ngamanye amaxesha.
Kodwa khumbula ukuba sijolise kuhlobo olulungileyo lokuzingca.
Wazi njani ukuba uziphethe kakuhle? Ewe, ibuyela kwezo zinto sizisusileyo kwinkcazo yoqobo eqale eli nqaku.
Kuqala, silisusile igama elithi “gqithi.”
Oku kuthetha ukuba kuya kufuneka uzingce ngaphakathi kwezithintelo ezifanelekileyo.
Usuku 'lwam' njengomzali aluyonto imbi. Ukuthatha iholide yeveki ngelixa iqabane lakho lijonga abantwana kusenokwenzeka ukuba likhulu kakhulu.
Ukuthi hayi kwisicelo somhlobo wakho xa ungaziva ulungile akunakulunga. Ukuthi hayi kuzo zonke izicelo zabo zoncedo mhlawumbi kuya kubutshabalalisa ubuhlobo.
Okwesibini, sikhuphe ibinzana elithi 'ngaphandle kokukhathalela abanye'
Oku kuthetha ukuba ukuzingca kwakho akufuneki kubenzakalise abanye okanye ukubeka ulindelo ngokungekho ngqiqweni kubo.
Ukupheka isilili ebabayo ngokwenene kuba yindlela oyithandayo, xa iqabane lakho kunye / okanye abantwana bayithanda ngobumnene - olo luhlobo olubi lokuzingca.
Ukutyikitya umntwana wakho kwiqela lebhola ekhatywayo xa bekhetha ukuthatha izifundo zomdaniso - olo luhlobo olubi lokuzingca.
Ukuziqhelanisa nohlobo olulungileyo lokuzingca, konke okufuneka ukwenze kukukuphepha ukugqithisa kuko, kwaye uthathe abanye abantu ubathathele ingqalelo.
Yenza loo nto kwaye uya kufumana zonke izibonelelo ezingasentla.
